Author Topic: ...And Then The Fight Started  (Read 500 times)

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Offline DCPatriot

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...And Then The Fight Started
« on: December 11, 2012, 07:23:39 AM »

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she
Kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”

“Yes”, she sighed,
“He’s my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we
Split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

And then the fight started...

I was sitting on the recliner in front of the TV.
My Wife asks me, “What’s on the television?”
I replied, “Dust.”
...And then the fight began.

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Well, your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

………and then the fight started

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’ My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’
And then the fight started ...

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.” So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"If you want to change the world, go home and love your family".    ...Mother Teresa

"It's not the mountain before you, but the pebble in your shoe"      ....or something like that

Offline massadvj

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Re: ...And Then The Fight Started
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2012, 07:48:59 AM »
INCOMING!   :smash:
"She only coughs when she lies."

Offline Ford289HiPo

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Re: ...And Then The Fight Started
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2012, 09:04:04 PM »
The wife told me to go out and get some of those pills that help you get an erection. When I came back, I tossed her some diet pills.

And then the fight started  88devil
I just got a face full of obama.

I wonder when the lies will stop and truth begin, even as grim as the truth may be. And then I remember that for 70 years, the reign of terror in Russia called itself "the people's government." We have so far to fall, yet we are falling fast and Hell yawns to receive us.

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