Author Topic: Let's talk about my client, Josh Hamilton, baseball's best player - Michael Rosenberg  (Read 908 times)

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Let's talk about my client, Josh Hamilton, baseball's best player
Michael Rosenberg

Josh Hamilton has as .304 career average with 161 home runs and 553 RBIs.

So, the most amazing thing happened to me the other day. Josh Hamilton asked me to be his agent. I know this seems odd, since I'm not an agent, I have no baseball experience, I have a terrible poker face, I don't even play poker, and I routinely fold when my 6-year-old asks for another cookie. You might even think hiring me is just another bad decision for Hamilton in a life of too many bad decisions, to which I say: Hey, lay off my client.

Now, I'm sure you can see why your team should sign my client. Mr. Hamilton is a special talent, a TRANSCENDENT ballplayer who will play the 2013 season at age 31 ...

He turns 32 in May.

Yes, well, by that time he will be well on his way to another of his five Most Valuable Player awards.

He has won ONE Most Valuable Player award.

I'm projecting. Look at my client's career numbers. They practically jump off the page of this binder I have prepared for you.

Are there women in that binder?

Don't believe everything you read on Deadspin. So anyway, this binder fully details why my client is a Hall of Famer. Don't you want your team's hat on his plaque? He is a career .304 hitter, one point better than Pete Rose, and Rose was the Hit King! He has a career on-base percentage of .363, a slugging percentage of .549 ...

Those numbers are skewed by playing so many games at the Bandbox at Arlington. Look at his career road numbers: .292 average, .354 on-base percentage, .504 slugging percentage. That is a big difference, especially in slugging percentage.

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"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - Iowahawk

 I think the worst time to have a heart attack would be during a game of charades.

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