Whoa-- Hey, Lois? Lois Lane? Look on that little TV over the bar...
that is one hot kiss between you...
and Superman!
What? That's Superman...
but I don't wear...
a crown--
And...
that's not my hair...
or naked back--
And
THAT...
is not my...
ass!
My Superman...
He-- He's kissing that wussy skank...
Wonder Woman!
Wonder?...
Lois here! Listen up, you home-wrecking hussy!
I see you've been flashing those big boobs...
of yours at Superman!
And your slutty way of dressing...
has got him all hot and bothered!
You do realize I could crush you...
with my little finger, don't you?
Bye-bye-- Yep...
she sure could--
Well, it could have been worse. Superman could have been locking lips...
with Batman!
Now, now, Lois. We all know those rumors...
are just plain false--
Besides, surely we all know Aquaman...
is the really weak sister in the Justice League.
Bat, old sport, I agree with you that Aquaman is the hands down fairy queen of the Justice League, but you just have to...
stop calling me 'Shirley!'
Meanwhile, out past the pier...
still waters run deep--
Whoa, my trusty steed, Storm...
we have to stop all these unfounded rumors!
I must use my telepathic abilities...
to call all my faithful supporters from the Atlantic--
And all my faithful supporters...
from the Pacific--
We are coming from the North Atlantic...
Aquaman!
As are we...
from the South Pacific!
Aquaman, we supporters of yours from the North Atlantic...
are coming to help!
And we of the Hawaiian waters...
are coming to support you!
This is...
wonderful!
Yew hew, Aquaman? The North Pacific Frisco Bay is full of your faithful supporters...
and we are coming to back you all the way--
As is New York, all united in support...
marching in lockstep for our dear, dear Aquaman!
And, where else would you be supported 100 percent? Only in the entire French....
Navy!
Talk about overplaying...
your hand--
Still cannot forever see why in the world they would ever think...
I am gay?
I agree, why do they all seem to think that Batman...
and Aquaman are light in the loafers?
They are all just jealous of our totally masculine super powers...
and well fitting costumes--
Finally made the big time...
in DC Comics...
And now, on with my "Never Wrong" Picks...
for Week One of the 2012 NFL Season:
Okay, okay, let's get the elephant in the room out of the way...
Eli has gone too far--
"I've won two Super Bowls so I have a right...
to be a diva!"
"And face it, if the Cowboys knock me...
out of the game, no one can fill...
my shoes!"
You got that right, girl...
no one could fill those gravy boats!
Well, Eli, it is time for your comeuppance and my Boys...
will do to the tune of 31 to 17--
Sunday finds these games and these exact score:
Indianapolis 10 at Chicago 24: Poor Andrew finds no luck in surviving his first attack...
by Da Bears
Philadelphia 28 at Cleveland 3: Those poor Brown Stains chowed down on the wrong...
feed--
New England 27 at Tennessee 21: Allegra Old Earlers, still Fisherless, get no respite...
from Brady's march to the sea--
Atlanta 20 at Kansas City 21: My Old Dallas Texans... <img width=200 src="
http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p100/lastofthebenders/FreeRep13-i-BB/Bender-KCTexans-R-250.gif"> disguised as Indian Chiefs...
ambush Vick's Old Team--
Jacksonville 14 at Minnesota 10: Yep, you do, Viqueens... <img width=200 src="
http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p100/lastofthebenders/FreeRep13-L-BB/Vikings-Suck.gif"> you really do--
Washington 16 at New Orleans 31: Yep, old Roger was distracted by them comely female replacement refs and
played like all the others that came before--
Buffalo 17 at NY Jets 28: Tebow pulls another one...
out of the fire--
St. Louis 10 at Detroit 24: It was a love fest...
that is until the dinner bell rang--
Miami 17 at Houston 35: Allegras Texicans have...
a fish fry--
San Francisco 28 at Green Bay 31: Well, campers, it was Fromage vs Cheddar and big's yellow wheel... <img width=200 src="
http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p100/lastofthebenders/FreeRep13-i-BB/HomerSimpson19x.gif"> won hands down--
Seattle 27 at Arizona 13: Russell Wilson get his first, official NFL...
kill--
Carolina 30 at Tampa Bay 24: Cam lives up to the hype...
as Carolina's Anti-Pink Panthers...
sink...
the Bucs toots sweet--
Pittsburgh 27 at Denver 24: Sad to say, but Peyton's call to 'Win one...
for the Gummer!" falls short --
Monday night me and ESPN have cooked up...
a two fer--
Cincinnati 7 at Baltimore 23:
Bendy needs my help but my Black Byrds don't...
in routing Cinci--
San Diego 28 at Oakland 10: Those Raider hoards smell blood...
but Norv knows it is his...
last stand and gets the win--
All righty, boys and girls, it is time...
for y'all's picks.
I'll play a little pi'anner interlude for ya...
but hurry up, I don't have all day!
