Today's Toons 10/24/11

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

Victoria's Secret has designed a diamond-studded bra that costs $2.5 million. Interesting, but try explaining THAT one during your TSA patdown.  
 
 
 
The White House shut down one Obamacare program, saying they couldn't make it both affordable and financially solvent while keeping it voluntary. So... you can't make money giving away free stuff. Who would've guessed?  
 

Instead of talking about "jobs created or saved", a new White House report on Obama's jobs bill talks about jobs "supported." If he wants big impressive numbers, he should try counting jobs "waved goodbye to."  
 
 
 
It's being reported that President Obama's teleprompters were stolen.
Considering what's been coming out of them, I assume it will be treated as petty theft.  
 
 
 
In Sacramento, burglars broke into a house and stole a 7-year-old's piggy bank. Poor kid. It probably had all the money he made selling lemonade before the government shut him down.  
 
 
 
President Obama said of the Occupy Wall Street protesters that he "understands their struggles". Yes, Obama hates Wall Street, too. When he's not begging it for campaign contributions.  
 

  -- Fred Thompson
 

The National Hot Dog Council criticized the golf fan Thursday who threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods on the green Sunday. The guy's life is ruined. It didn't take Michelle Obama three years in the White House to get Americans to inform on each other to the food police.   
 

Godfather Pizza former CEO Herman Cain surged into second place in the GOP polls for president Thursday. He has scored very well in the debates. In times of recession the voters seem to like his promise of less government, lower taxes and two free toppings.  
 
 
 
Occupy Wall Street protesters invaded the Upper East Side where all the billionaires live and screamed obscenities outside their doors. It was a victory for equality. The people proved they can frighten a maid just as well as any international banker ever could.  
 

President Obama vowed Thursday to isolate Iran after a terror plot was uncovered. We're asked to believe an Iranian used car salesman recruited what he thought was a Mexican cartel member to attack Washington D.C. for a measly million bucks. There is now solid evidence that somebody in the Justice Department is writing spec scripts for USA Network.  
 

Bill Clinton was honored by celebrities at a Hollywood Bowl concert Saturday. It was to celebrate his sixty-fifth birthday. Last week Bill went on David Letterman's show where they entertained the country with tips about how to keep your job and your interns.  
 

The White House planned sanctions on Iran after foiling a terrorist attack. Iran tried to assassinate a Saudi ambassador in Washington by hiring a Mexican hit man. It caused anger when people realized that American hit men are seeing their jobs out-sourced to Mexico.  
 

President Obama hosted a beer summit in Pittsburgh Monday with four unemployed construction workers. He left feeling a lot better about the future. They explained to the president that once his unemployment runs out he can fake an injury and go on disability  
 

President Obama's campaign reported Friday it raised seventy million dollars in the third quarter. The number of fundraising events declined from fifty-one to eighteen. That's because they had to merge them to meet the minimum required to book the banquet room.  
 

President Obama endorsed the Occupy Wall Street protests in his MLK statue speech Sunday. His timing was pretty bad. The same day, the occupation was endorsed by the Nazi Party and the Communist Party, and they haven't agreed on anything since Poland.  
 

President Obama went on a three-day presidential bus tour Monday of Virginia and North Carolina. They say it's not a political trip so the taxpayers are paying for it. He thinks he's a man of the people as long as he takes less expensive trips than Michelle does.  
 

Texas parents were angry Monday after kids in a McAllen school's Spanish class were forced to learn and recite the Mexican pledge of allegiance. It was an absolute melee. Violence broke out in the classroom when half the students pledged allegiance to the wrong cartel.  
 

GOP candidate Herman Cain for the first time led President Obama in a hypothetical election match-up Monday in the Rasmussen Poll. Democrats are cornered. Four years ago if you said you were voting for the African-American, Democrats praised you as open-minded, but today if you say you're voting for the African-American, they call you a birther.  
 
 
 
President Obama's Teleprompter and presidential seal were stolen from the supply truck trailing his Virginia bus tour by thieves. Do they ever regret it. The thieves now have a forty-four percent approval rating and there's a Tea Party protest blocking their driveway.  
 

Jesse Jackson joined the Occupy Wall Street protesters in New York Sunday and helped them form a human chain around the medical tent to bar city health inspectors. The inspectors are right to be concerned. You can't treat hypothermia with medical marijuana.  
 

The Occupy Wall Street protesters were endorsed by President Obama Sunday. They also picked up the support from the American Nazi Party, the Socialist Party and the Communist Party USA. However, the Procrastination Party is taking a wait-and-see attitude.  
 

Wall Street protesters reported that thieves are stealing their cellphones and iPads and laptops and cash as they sit in the park. It was a lesson for the young protesters to learn. They were all for social justice until somebody poorer than them wanted their stuff.  
 

Hillary Clinton told the Today Show she can't wait to step down as Secretary of State and return to private life. She said she wants to spend more time with her husband. Her husband promptly sent her a text from Los Angeles telling her that her country needs her.  
 
 
 
President Obama sided with the Occupy Wall Street protesters Tuesday. They stand for the lawless occupation of parks and the forced redistribution of wealth. He may someday get a statue on the mall for his stand in favor of oppressed white college students.  
 

Mexico's former president Vicente Fox gave a speech in the U.S. criticizing border fence talk. He was in the country on official business. His assault weapon needs to be cleaned and the Justice department gave him a two-year warranty that includes free maintenance.  
 

President Obama announced that Moammar Kadaffi had been killed by U.S.-backed rebel forces in Libya Thursday. You knew it was coming. Every president starts out intending to be a Nobel Peace Prize winner and ends up as Billy the Kid when his numbers start to drop.  
 

Moammar Kadaffi was killed by Libyan rebels in his hometown on Thursday. There were photos posted on the Internet of his bullet-ridden body. He was so dead that the Energy Department just granted a five hundred million dollar loan to him for energy development.  
 

The U.S. Senate drafted a bill Friday to grant U.S. visas to foreigners if they agree to buy a house. The house must sell for at least a half a million dollars. The idea is to attract rich people to the United States to offset the rich people who are leaving the United States.  
 

GOP candidate Herman Cain urged the U.S. to build a wall on the Mexican border just like the Great Wall of China Tuesday. The idea poses engineering difficulties. We'd have to find a way to build the largest wall in history with all the workers on the south side of it.  
 

Virginia police began looking for thieves who stole President Obama's Teleprompter from his bus tour. The hunt is on. Police are looking for a suspect in a blue Chevy who's constantly looking to the left and right and blaming the Republicans for blocking his jobs bill.  
 

-- Argus Hamilton
 

Herman Cain said, starting today, if you buy into his 9-9-9 plan, he'll throw in a free 32-ounce soda.  
 

-- Letterman
 

Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years.  
 

Warren Buffett’s company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding.  
 

-- Leno
 

Yesterday, President Obama’s teleprompter was stolen. Police are on the lookout for a thief that's eloquent and spreading a message of hope. 
 

Herman Cain is out there, he says a lot of provocative things. He said America should build its own Great Wall of China. Cain says it's a great idea because if there's one thing you don't see in China, it's Mexicans. 
 

Earlier this week, a protester at Occupy Wall Street proposed to his girlfriend. His exact words were, “Will you occupy my parents' basement with me until I get a job? 
 

Between Osama bin Laden and Moammar Gadhafi, I'm starting to think that President Obama isn't going to be remembered for healthcare.  
 

There was a truck filled with President Obama's teleprompters and it went missing. Meanwhile Joe Biden’s teleprompter shot itself.  
 

-- Conan
 

The Occupy Wall Street protests continue to grow. They've started to attract a very unsavory element — celebrities.  
 

Not a great day for dictator Moammar Gadhafi. A spokesperson for the Libyan rebels said Gadhafi will be replaced soon by Ashton Kutcher.  
 

-- Craig Ferguson
 
 
 

(Thank you, New Cruelty)

[Oceander]

yeah pookie!

[illeagle]

Thank you Pookie!

[Davidfxs]

Thank you Pookie.

[pookie18]

yeah pookie!

Mornin', Oceander!

[pookie18]

Thank you Pookie!

You're welcome, Illeagle!

[pookie18]

Thank you Pookie.

My pleasure, David!

[ricebug]

G'day, Pookie!!!

[pookie18]

G'day, Pookie!!!

G'day, Ricebug!