Author Topic: Today's Toons 10/17/11  (Read 1877 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 10/17/11
« on: October 17, 2011, 04:25:41 AM »


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters A & P:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

During an "Occupy L.A." protest, actor Danny Glover said "we need 24/7 warriors." Danny, we've got plenty - in Iraq & Afghanistan.  
Comedian Bill Maher said of the Republican party, "denying racism is the new racism." And apparently, not being funny is the new comedy.  

Vice President Joe Biden said that Occupy Wall Street has "a lot in common with the Tea Party." Sure, like Obama trying to fundraise off them.  

In his weekly address, President Obama challenged Republicans to "prove" his jobs plan wouldn't work. No problem. Anyone got an 8th grade economics textbook handy?  
New measurements show that London's Big Ben clock tower is leaning 18 inches to one side. You just know Obama's solution would be a trillion-dollar program to make every other building in the country lean the same way.  
San Francisco plans to hold its first-ever medical-marijuana jobs fair. Guess we've discovered which companies the Occupy Wall Street crowd WON'T be protesting.  
The city of Orlando unveiled plans for Barack Obama Parkway, a 1 mile stretch of road that costs $10 million. Another 20 miles had been promised, but the Japanese earthquake held it up.  
Harry Belafonte criticized Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, calling him a "bad apple". Harry, stick to what you do best: singing about bananas.  
ABC's Diane Sawyer said the Occupy Wall Street movement has spread to "more than 1000 countries", even though there's only 195 countries on earth. Watch for Obama to get a billion votes in 57 states when she does election coverage.  

A new book says that GM first sought a merger with Ford before turning to the government for a bailout. That's our government. Making the investmests sane people won't.  
A newly released Wikileaks cable indicates that Japan refused President Obama's offer to apologize for the atomic bomb attacks. No word yet on whether Britain will accept Obama's apology for the Declaration of Independence.  
At a fundraiser in Florida, President Obama said, "none of us make it on our own" without government help. Although it is sorta like a having a drunk cabbie help drive you to the airport.  
After Fox's Ed Henry asked a hard question at a news conference, President Obama shot back, "I didn't know you were the spokesman for Romney." Guess he was just shocked to find a reporter who wasn't HIS spokesman.  
  -- Fred Thompson

Occupy Wall Street protesters in Los Angeles sat down in the Bank of America lobby Friday and refused to leave. The cops dispersed them. When Bank of America charged the demonstrators five dollars each to leave the lobby, they left angrier than they arrived.   

Friends of the Earth protested outside Congress Friday trying to block a proposed oil pipeline that begins in Canada and crosses into the U.S. They made the mistake of calling it a pipeline. They should have called it a tunnel and the liberals would all be defending it.  
President Obama paid tribute to Steve Jobs Thursday, prompting both parties to join in the eulogies. Democrats said there'll never be another one like him. Republicans said that is just more evidence that Jobs are not being created under the Obama Administration.  

GOP candidate Herman Cain topped the presidential polls, leading Mitt Romney by twenty points in one poll. This guy is causing Democratic strategists real headaches lately. Democrats can't call the Tea Party racist because it's supporting Herman Cain and they can't call it communist because that would only increase its support among Democrats.  

Jerry Brown signed college subsidies for kids of illegal aliens Friday. He also signed a law barring teens from tanning beds. Leave it to Democrats to subsidize brown people who want to become Americans and to stop Americans who want to become brown people.  
The Justice Department declared it will begin targeting California's medical marijuana stores for FBI raids. The withdrawal won't be pretty. The administration is trying to make Californians irritable enough to riot in the street and blame everything on the banks.  

Occupy Wall Street protesters sat in a Bank of America lobby in L.A. Friday. The bank no longer gives out easy money or free doughnuts and coffee. Cutting off the money and the food is how their parents got them to move out and it might work for Bank of America.  

President Obama was reported Monday to be isolating and brooding in the White House. He quits work at four, has dinner with his family and spends the rest of the evening alone. Insiders say he'll only talk to his closest advisors, Haldeman and Ehrlichman.  

Columbus Day was marked with New York parades Monday as all government offices were closed. The financial markets were open and the Dow went up three hundred points. It is the latest proof that a government shutdown could be the solution to all our problems.  

The Justice Department reported Monday it will begin raiding California's medical marijuana stores. Whose side are they on? First they supply the Mexican drug cartel with automatic weapons and now they're closing down the American stores that compete with them.  

The FBI arrested an Iranian who paid an ATF agent to kill the Saudi ambassador. He wasn't really going to kill anyone. However when the U.S. gives out money for a stupid project that will never happen you'd be an idiot not to take it and then declare bankruptcy.  
Hank Williams Jr. ripped ESPN after the network dropped him from Monday Night Football for comparing Obama to Hitler. The network had its reasons. Market research shows that TV viewers reach for the remote the moment anybody mentions Obama's name.  

Hillary Clinton warned Iran of serious consequences Tuesday over the plot to blow up embassies in Washington. Do they know who they're dealing with? We could destroy every home and commercial building in Iran simply by offering them subprime mortgages.  

Herman Cain spent Tuesday's debate defending his flat tax from attack by his fellow Republicans. He's an economic conservative. Liberal Democrats found themselves in the odd position of cheering for the six white people beating a black man in broad daylight.  

The GOP House subpoenaed Attorney General Eric Holder to testify on what he knew about Operation Fast and Furious. They think he's been lying. They'll be sorry when they end up impeaching the president just when they are on the verge of getting rid of him.  

Wall Street protesters remained camped out near the stock exchange Tuesday. They organize marches using Apple iPhones, Facebook, and Google. They want the world to know how hard life is if they have to use every labor-saving device in the world to prove it.  

-- Argus Hamilton

Happy birthday to Bo, the White House dog. It looks like he may be a one-term dog.  

Michelle Obama attempted to set a world record for jumping jacks. I think that will make unemployment a little easier to tolerate.  

-- Letterman

Unemployment is still at 9.1 percent. Well, 9.2 percent if you count Hank Williams, Jr.  

China is now expected to surpass Japan as the 2nd richest country in the world. They could become the richest, but that’s only if we pay them the money we owe them, and that’s not going to happen.  

There’s a proposal in Congress to allow rich people who feel they don’t pay enough income tax to voluntarily pay more. Economists say this could bring in as much as $75 a year. 

Christopher Columbus claimed America for Spain. If the British had never come here, we would all be speaking Spanish — as opposed to just half of the country speaking Spanish. 

Two Americans won the Nobel Prize for economics. That’s like the Chinese winning for child day care.  

A Florida report says there are fewer bad drivers because the economy is keeping people off the road. Now, the White House is saying they don’t have a failed economic plan, they have a successful highway safety plan.  

San Francisco hosted the first medical marijuana job fair. The keynote speech was titled, “Jobs and How to Avoid Getting One.”  

Chris Christie has officially endorsed Mitt Romney for president. Christie said President Obama is “shrinking the American pie.” And believe me, if there’s one thing Christie hates, it’s a small pie.  

The Saudi government is upset about this plot to assassinate their ambassador. As you know, Saudi Arabia condemns all acts of terrorism unless, of course, they're sponsoring them.  

White House Chief of Staff Bill Daley announced he'll be leaving the White House after the election. I get the feeling a lot of people are going to be leaving the White House after the election.  

-- Leno

Today President Obama met with the Chicago Bears championship team from 1985. When she heard about Bears in the White House, Sarah Palin was like, “Maybe I will run for president!”  

President Obama had beer with four unemployed construction workers. And Obama asked the guys what was it like to lose their jobs, and they were like, “Oh, you’ll see.”  

When the check came, Obama was like, “Do you guys want to split this five ways?”  

During the Republican debate last night, Michele Bachmann said she has 28 children, five of her own and 23 foster kids. It’s all part of her new strategy: Adopting a majority of voters.  

The White House is apparently pushing to create more Latino-themed landmarks. Now that's in addition to our current Latino-themed landmark, California.  

-- Jimmy Fallon

At the last Republican debate, the candidates were seated according to how they’ve been doing in the polls. So Jon Huntsman was seated next to Tim Pawlenty at a Denny’s across the street.  

-- Conan

It’s the 24th day of the Occupy Wall Street protests, also known as the largest homeless slumber party in the world.  

The Occupy Wall Street protesters traveled around New York to stand outside the mansions of the most wealthy people in New York. Is that protesting or tourism? 

The Occupy Wall Street protests continued in New York City today. The protests have been going on for four weeks now. That's longer than most NBC sitcoms last.  

-- Jimmy Kimmel

The protesters stood outside the homes of five rich dudes. Michael Moore was actually able to stand outside all five homes at the same time.  

-- Craig Ferguson


George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.  

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes.. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.  

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.  

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.  

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.  

The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."  

Offline niobe527

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Re: Today's Toons 10/17/11
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2011, 06:35:49 AM »
good morning pookie

Offline illeagle

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Re: Today's Toons 10/17/11
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2011, 07:06:45 AM »
Thank you Pookie! :seeya:
“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke

 “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1

Offline Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 10/17/11
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2011, 07:42:32 AM »
yeah pookie!
I won't vote for Clinton, but I cannot vote for Trump.  How could I explain to my daughter why I supported a man who sees her as nothing more than a piece of meat, a piece of a$$ for him to grope for his own private pleasure.

"Trump supporter" - the very definition of an SFI

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 10/17/11
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2011, 11:26:01 AM »

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 10/17/11
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2011, 11:26:41 AM »
Thank you Pookie! :seeya:

You're welcome, Illeagle!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 10/17/11
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2011, 11:27:20 AM »

Offline Davidfxs

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Re: Today's Toons 10/17/11
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2011, 12:13:13 PM »
Thank you Pookie. Have a great week
Liberals are like Slinkies, Good for nothing really. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of Stairs.

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 10/17/11
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2011, 12:17:58 PM »
Thank you Pookie. Have a great week

My pleasure & the same to you, David!

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