Author Topic: Today's Toons 9/12/11  (Read 3926 times)

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Online pookie18

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Today's Toons 9/12/11
« on: September 12, 2011, 08:19:51 am »

 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters W & P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

Liberal economist Paul Krugman said, "if Obama called for endorsing motherhood, Republicans in the House would oppose it." I'm not sure that "pro choice" Democrats ought to be saying things like that.  
 
 
 
Democrat Congresswoman Maxine Waters is calling for "a jobs program of a trillion dollars". Wow. That's a pretty big tax cut, but I'll go along with it.  
 
 
 
On ABC's This Week, liberal economist Paul Krugman said, "the public should want what I want, but it doesn't." Now THAT'S what I'd call an honest Obama 2012 campaign slogan.  
 
 
 
Some liberal created a video game that lets you slaughter "Tea Party Zombies". On the other hand, they're running a business without government money, so... partial credit.  
 
 
 
A new poll shows that nearly 3/4 of Californians say their country is on the wrong track. Wonder how many of them were talking about Mexico?  
 

A new survey show that the number of people without health insurance has gone up since Obamacare passed. Looks like we finally found out what was in it. NOW can we repeal it?  
 
 
 
L.A. is considering a ban on both plastic AND paper grocery bags. Fine. If I ever go shopping in L.A., my bags will be made from the fur of animals I killed myself.  
 
 
 
New scientific research shows that dolphins "talk" to each other using the same process as humans. No word on whether their leader needs a teleprompter, though.  
 

  -- Fred Thompson
 

President Obama was turned down Friday by five NASCAR drivers he'd invited to the White House. This reflects Obama's low job approval ratings. President Obama is so desperate for support that he's begun courting athletes whose fans wave Confederate flags.  
 

President Obama declared Friday that September is National Childhood Obesity Awareness month in a broad hint to school menu planners. Last week Michelle Obama took a separate jet to Martha's Vineyard and now she's telling him what to name the months. This is the first time in his presidency he's looked more like Bill Clinton than Jimmy Carter.  
 
 
 
President Obama will speak to Congress during prime time Thursday in the hour leading up the NFL season opener. He will roll out his long-awaited jobs program. No one knows the specifics of the jobs speech but it mentions scavenging for recyclables seventeen times.  
 

President Obama's jobs speech to Congress Thursday isn't expected to make that big a splash. It could also cause a sensation. If he wants to make an authentic Jobs Speech he should wear a black pullover, introduce a new Apple product and then resign for health reasons.  
 
 
 
Labor Day weekend was spoiled when the Labor Department reported Friday the U.S. economy added no new jobs last month. Labor Day weekend is when we celebrate America's workforce. This is a busy travel day as Americans return from the picnic in India.   
 
 
 
Los Angeles police reported a mountain lion was killed trying to cross the San Diego Freeway Friday in the Sepulveda Pass between Bel-Air and Brentwood. The whole thing is under construction after they blew up a freeway bridge last month. City officials explained the mountain lions are only taking the construction jobs which illegal immigrants refuse to do.  
 

Labor Day picnics in Chicago and Detroit highlighted the nation's annual observance of the labor movement. The holiday allows working Americans to get away, kick back, relax, shoot some hoops or play golf or enjoy a barbecue. It's like being president for a day.  
 
 
 
Caroline Kennedy did interviews Tuesday about her book of Jackie Kennedy's taped conversations describing life with JFK. The book quotes everything her mother said about her father's White House infidelities. Bill Clinton just bought Chelsea two yachts and a car.  
 
 
 
Michael Moore released a book Monday revealing he's used former U.S. Navy SEALs as his bodyguards for eight years. The word got around. The only reason Osama bin Laden is dead is because Michael Moore told him he could trust these guys, so he opened the door.  
 

The NFL season kicks off tonight with the New Orleans Saints and Green Bay Packers squaring off in Green Bay. There will a lot of booing and hard hits and cheap shots due to all the bad blood. And after President Obama's speech, there will be a football game, too.  
 
 
 
President Obama will speak before Congress tonight just like it's a State of the Union address. A cabinet member is kept out of the building in case of a catastrophe. That's so he can be cloned to rebuild the Obama Administration and take us the rest of the way down.  
 
 
 
The White House had no comment Friday when President Obama was turned down by five NASCAR drivers whom the president had invited to the White House to promote NASCAR auto races. What was he thinking? They can't go to a Beer Summit, they're driving.  
 
 
 
Washington Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg came back a year after Tommy John surgery to blank the Dodgers Tuesday. The kid was unhittable. President Obama just revealed he's having all the tendons in his elbow replaced with tissue from Ronald Reagan.  
 
 
 
President Obama's speechwriter Jon Lovett resigned to pursue what he called a more fulfilling life in Los Angeles writing comedy. He helped write the stimulus bill, the health care law and the president's jobs plan. His work as a comedy writer in Washington is done.  
 

MRC TV released a video game Tuesday which allows players to slaughter Tea Party Zombies depicted as Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Rick Santorum and all the Fox News anchors. Even Democrats find it disturbing. Zombies are people who'll never go away.  
 
 
 
President Obama got his lowest-ever approval numbers on Tuesday. They are out of ideas. Last night, an aide urged President Obama to forget talking to the people and talk to God, but the president said she was asleep upstairs and he didn't dare wake her up.  
 
 
 
Massachusetts U.S. Senator Scott Brown told a radio interviewer Tuesday President Obama's Uncle Omar should be deported home to Kenya as a threat to public safety. He works in a liquor store and was just arrested for drunk driving. Under Massachusetts law, liquor stores are not allowed to hire product demonstrators until closer to Christmas.  
 
 
 
President Obama addressed a joint session of Congress Thursday to propose more money for federal construction projects and more money for teachers. His motive is self-preservation. He could be overrun by the Red States if he doesn't pay the union army.  
 

NBC News anchor Brian Williams asked Rick Perry at Thursday's GOP debate how he can sleep after executing two hundred people. The governor defended executions and drew huge applause. Americans will take shovel-ready projects any way they can get them. 
 

-- Argus Hamilton
 

Labor Day is the day that Americans take three days off from looking for work.  
 
 
 
-- Letterman
 

For most Americans, Labor Day means a 3-day weekend, but for 9.1 percent of Americans, it’s been a 12-month weekend.  
 

New statistics show the U.S. economy added 0 jobs in August. The White House cautioned Americans not to read too much into those numbers. What numbers?  
 
 
 
The football game will be on Thursday night, right after the season finale of President Obama.  
 

Obama will give a speech on job growth. I don’t think it will be a big speech.  
 
 
 
According to the latest poll, a record 73 percent of Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the good news: Gas is so expensive that we’ll never get there.  
 

President Obama will give a big speech on job preservation — I mean job creation.  
 
 
The speech will be translated into Spanish and Chinese so that the people who have our jobs can understand.  
 

-- Leno
 

I read that a man from Illinois discovered $150,000 in his garden. Did you hear that, President Obama? A man from Illinois actually grew the economy.  
 
 
 
A woman in Alaska punched a bear in the face after it threatened her dog. Or as Sarah Palin put it, “Teach me, sensei.”  
 
 
 
Tonight was President Obama’s jobs speech and the NFL season opener. Which explains why Biden got confused and dumped Gatorade on President Obama.  
 
 
 
Republicans actually decided not to give a rebuttal to President Obama’s jobs speech tonight. I guess they figured there’s already a rebuttal to his jobs speech: No jobs.  
 
 
 
-- Jimmy Fallon
 

To give an idea of how bad the economy is, the NFL had to borrow the quarter for the coin toss from China. And they want it back.  
 

-- Conan
 

President Obama’s approval rating is very low. But then again, his disapproval rating is very high, so there’s a silver lining.  
 
 
 
President Obama plans to create thousands of new jobs by replacing all automobile GPS systems with real people who sit in the back seat with a map. 
 

-- Jimmy Kimmel
 
 
 

(Thank you, nateman)

Offline Davidfxs

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2011, 10:48:13 am »
Thank you Pookie have a great week
Liberals are like Slinkies, Good for nothing really. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of Stairs.

Offline massadvj

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2011, 11:02:52 am »
Thank you, Pookie.  Very nice tribute.

Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2011, 11:03:13 am »
yeah pookie!

Offline niobe527

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2011, 01:26:11 pm »
a tearful good morning to you pookie (it's still 9/11 until i get some sleep)

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2011, 02:49:41 pm »
Thank you Pookie have a great week

You're welcome & the same to you, David!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2011, 02:50:47 pm »
Thank you, Pookie.  Very nice tribute.

My pleasure, massadvj! Still some more tom'w...

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2011, 02:51:34 pm »

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2011, 02:52:27 pm »
a tearful good morning to you pookie (it's still 9/11 until i get some sleep)

Mornin', sleepy niobe!

Offline illeagle

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2011, 04:22:22 pm »
Thank you Pookie!
“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke

 “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 9/12/11
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2011, 04:40:11 pm »
Thank you Pookie!

You're welcome, as always, Illeagle!