Today's Toons 6/27/11

[pookie18]

 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

Obama campaign strategist David Axelrod said that it's still "cool to be an Obama supporter". First rule of cool, David: if you have to tell people how cool it still is, it's not cool anymore.   
 
 
 
Michelle Obama said that "Barack has a mind like a steel trap". I guess memories of his campaign promises must've chewed their legs off and escaped.  
 

The Florida teachers union is suing their governor, claiming that being forced to pay 3% of their own pension is "unconstitutional". Then wouldn't the people paying the other 97% have an even stronger case?  
 
 
 
Neighbors of Democrat Congressman John Conyers are complaining that his Detroit residence is an "eyesore". If they think his house is bad, they should see some of his legislation.  
 
 
 
Attorney General Eric Holder said that civilian courts are "our most effective terror-fighting weapon". I can't believe how casually he ignores the power of stern looks and finger-wagging.  
 
 
 
At a DNC fundraiser, President Obama said, "we’ve created over 2.1 million private sector jobs". Or, more accurately, didn't get in the way while other people created them.  
 
 
 
Boston's Mayor is asking Nike to remove one of its store's window displays that features t-shirts saying "get high". I suppose they could always give them to Democrats trying to raise the debt ceiling.  
 
 
 
The NLRB is proposing rules that would drastically shorten the time period workers have to consider a vote to join a union. I'm surprised they're not requiring Jimmy Carter to come in and monitor the voting, too.  
 

In Washington DC, the Dirty Martini bar has started serving a giant 48-ounce cocktail. One of these, and Obama's economic policies start sounding like they might actually work.  
 
 
 
The US Attorney's Office has recovered a small sample of Apollo 11 moon dust that was being sold by a woman in St. Louis. Man, the feds just can't stop intervening in the real estate market.  
 
 
 
On its latest cover, Time magazine asks if the Constitution "still matters". Next question: for lovers of the Constitution, does the opinion of Time still matter?  
 
 
 
  -- Fred Thompson
 

Arnold Schwarzenegger's maid on Tuesday revealed the identity of the son she had with him thirteen years ago. Family members saw their similarities. The boy began in the first grade with a twenty dollar a week allowance and in six years he ran it into a nine billion dollar deficit.  
 

The White House lobbied Members of Congress Friday in an effort to get enough votes to pass a budget compromise. Democrats can't afford to lose another vote on the House floor. Anthony Weiner just gave up his seat and it won't be filled until it's been thoroughly disinfected.  
 
 
 
Hustler publisher Larry Flynt offered resigned Congressman Anthony Weiner a job Friday in Hustler's Internet operations in Los Angeles. It's perfect for him. Anthony Weiner should live in the one city that sees nothing unusual about texting nude photos of yourself to strangers.   
 
 
 
A United Nations refugee survey shows many illegal aliens come to the U.S. for the medical benefits. The U.S. gives out free mammograms, free testicular and cervical screenings and free prostate exams. All you have to do is walk through airport security like you're going someplace.  
 

President Obama expanded his search on Friday for a new chairman of the White House Council of Economic Advisers to fix this recession. Yesterday he called India for tech support. They told him to turn the economy off for five minutes then turn it back on, and see if that helps.  
 

NBC prompted viewer wrath before the U.S. Open Sunday when the network did a montage of children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and left out the phrase under God. It evens out. A day later the ratings came out for the most-watched shows in prime time and God left out NBC.  
 
 
 
NBC apologized for leaving God out of its Pledge of Allegiance piece before the U.S. Open. It fed the perception that NBC is a liberal apologist for a secular administration. Last week NBC News reported that President Obama's warplanes bombed civilians in Tripoli but in a good way.  
 
 
 
Michelle Obama flew to Johannesburg Monday to enjoy a sightseeing tour of South Africa. She wanted to visit the Apartheid Museum, which chronicles the struggle against white rule. She estimates that it's going to take a billion dollars in campaign donations to continue the fight.  
 
 
 
John McCain stood by his remark Sunday claiming that the Arizona brushfires were likely started by illegal aliens in the state's wilderness. It's a scandal. The Mexicans were using Bic lighters shipped to them at the insistence of the Justice Department in an effort to frame Gillette.  
 
 
 
ATF agent John Dodson testified he was ordered by the Justice Department to let U.S.-made assault rifles be sent into Mexico. Western gun dealers were told to stop doing background checks on buyers. The administration decided to give illegal aliens a pathway to marksmanship.  
 
 
 
President Obama made a prime time address Wednesday to announce a gradual U.S. troop withdrawal from Afghanistan. The good news is that twenty thousand troops will be flying home from Afghanistan in December. The bad news is that they have a six-year layover in Libya.  
 

Governor Rick Perry proposed a bill banning intrusive groping by TSA agents, prompting the Justice Department to threaten to cancel all flights to Texas. This would force travelers to fly to Mexico and then walk across the border to Texas. The federal government can't stop that.  
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner cleaned out his congressional office Tuesday after resigning. Two empty recycling bins stood outside Weiner's office door. The congressman is so environmentally sensitive that he distributes all of his nude photographs electronically instead of printing them.  
 
 
 
The White House announced Monday the administration will stop allowing companies to apply for waivers that let them disregard the Health Care Reform law. There's a lot of confusion over ObamaCare. Democrats think it's a pill and Republicans think it's a suppository.  
 
 
 
John Edwards smiled pleasantly for his booking photo last week after being indicted in North Carolina for using campaign funds to cover up a mistress. He had reason to smile. The first lesson they teach you in law school is that a man is innocent until he runs out of money.  
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton ended her silence about Saudi Arabia's law banning women from driving Wednesday and said she supports the Saudi women protesters. They want her backing. She is the only American woman they know whose husband is allowed to have more than one wife.  
 
 
 
Newt Gingrich's two campaign fundraisers quit his campaign Tuesday just ten days after his state campaign managers quit. The staffers complained that Newt's campaign is in debt a million dollars after just one month. His two biggest expenses were travel and severance pay.  
 

The White House let out thirty million barrels of oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve Thursday to try to drive down gas prices before the election. President Obama is trying everything he can to boost his approval ratings. If this doesn't work, he is going get another dog and another child.  
 
 
 
The FDA stepped up pressure on tobacco makers Monday to warn smokers more graphically about the dangers of smoking. They ordered every pack of cigarettes to display gross and unwatchable pictures. They show Anthony Weiner smoking while he is exposing himself to you.  
 
 
 
Keith Olbermann revealed Friday that Anthony Weiner may host a talk show on Al Gore's Current TV network. Al Gore lost the presidential election and started Current TV network, then Keith lost his show and joined the network, then Anthony Weiner lost his House seat, and may join the network. The network advertises itself as the inevitable home of the Chicago Cubs. 
 

-- Argus Hamilton
 

President Obama and John Boehner played golf against Joe Biden on Saturday and they won $2. Just 7 trillion more rounds like this and we’ll pay off that deficit in no time.  
 
 
 
President Obama was in New York today. There was one embarrassing moment, when he saw the Naked Cowboy and was like, "Please tell me you're not a Democratic Congressman."  
 
 
 
Because of the president’s visit, there was major gridlock traffic. It was really bad — instead of showing clips from NBC, the TV in my cab played the entire "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.  
 
 
 
-- Jimmy Fallon
 

At CVS, they have a whole area of Father’s Day cards just for Arnold Schwarzenegger.  
 

Congressman Weiner resigned from Congress at a senior citizens’ center in Queens. It was smart, because they had no idea what Twitter is.  
 
 
 
After John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and father-to-be Anthony Weiner, who would have thought Charlie Sheen would be dad of the year?  
 
 
 
The team of Obama and Boehner beat the team of Vice President Joe Biden and Ohio Gov. John Kasich. When they tallied up the score, they were 14 trillion over par.  
 
 
 
President Obama announced this week that he is going to start sending out his own messages personally on Twitter. And today Anthony Weiner said, “It’s a trap, don’t do it!” But President Obama’s tweets are a little different than Anthony Weiner’s. When Obama sends out pictures of something obscene, it’s the unemployment numbers.  
 
 
 
According to new polls, 66 percent of Americans believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the good news is, gas is so expensive and traffic is so bad that we won’t get there for a long time.  
 
 
 
A little information for the folks watching at home: Our entire studio audience tonight is all people who used to work for Newt Gingrich.  
 
 
 
President Obama announced the beginning of withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan. He said last night, “We can’t stay there indefinitely.” You think our troops in Korea are going, “HELLO, we’ve been here for 60 years.”  
 

Today President Obama has released 30 million barrels of oil from the strategic petroleum reserve. He said it was in response to what he called a real emergency: his poll numbers.  
 

-- Leno
 

NBC has apologized for editing out the words “under God” from its coverage of the U.S. Open. They’re also apologizing for Brian Williams signing off with “Hail Satan.”  
 
 
 
-- Conan
 

--------------------------------------------
 

Movie test:  
 

Be honest and DON'T look at the movie list below till you have done the math! 
 

Try this test and find out what movie is your favorite. 
 

This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 movies you would enjoy the most. It really works! 
 

Pick a number from 1-9. 
 

Multiply by 3. 
 

Add 3. 
 

Multiply by 3 again. 
 

Now add the two digits of your answer together to find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies below. 
 

1. Gone With The Wind 
 
2. E.T. 
 
3. Blazing Saddles 
 
4. Star Wars 
 
5. Forrest Gump 
 
6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. 
 
7. Jaws 
 
8. Grease 
 
9. The 0bama farewell speech of 2012 
 
10. Casablanca 
 
11. Jurassic Park 
 
12. Shrek 
 
13. Pirates of the Caribbean 
 
14. Titanic 
 
15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark 
 
16. Home Alone 
 
17. Mrs. Doubtfire 
 
18. Toy Story 
 

Now, ain't that something? 
 

--------------------------------------------
 

Now we have it!
 

Conclusive evidence that Osama Bin Laden is dead.
 

This week he registered to vote in Chicago!
 

--------------------------------------------
 

Political Cryptogram
 

M OKE K ZOWCJOZ. M EWG'Z LTKHHI
 

KSSLWBT WX WL HMRT SWHMZMVKH
 

AWRTD. M OKBT ACDZ DTTG ZWW
 

NKGI WX ZOTN JTZ THTVZTE.
 
 


(Thank you, Cyber Ninja)

[illeagle]

Good Morning and thank you Pookie!

[Davidfxs]

Thank you Pookie, have a great week

[massadvj]

Good morning, Pookie.  New video today.

http://blip.tv/play/AYLEyGEA


Thank you, as always.

[Oceander]

yeah pookie!

[pookie18]

Good Morning and thank you Pookie!

Mornin' & you're welcome, Illeagle!

[pookie18]

Thank you Pookie, have a great week

My pleasure & the same to you, David!

[pookie18]

Good morning, Pookie.  New video today.

http://blip.tv/play/AYLEyGEA


Thank you, as always.

Mornin' & you're welcome, massadvj! Picked it up earlier at Free Republic.

[pookie18]

yeah pookie!

Mornin', Oceander!

[Oceander]

A little something in "honor" of Obama's johnny-come-lately foray into another subject he knows nothing about - fixing the federal debt mess:

[pookie18]

A little something in "honor" of Obama's johnny-come-lately foray into another subject he knows nothing about - fixing the federal debt mess:

Thanks, Oceander...will run L8R in the week.