Author Topic: Today's Toons 6/6/11  (Read 2084 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 6/6/11
« on: June 06, 2011, 04:30:17 AM »
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is launching a $500 million program to teach kids how to "sit still" in Kindergarten. Maybe they should take the money from Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" initiative.  
 
 
 
I hear Obama's got a new Secretary of Commerce pick. Ought to be an easy job, since there isn't any.  
 
 
 
Australia's second most populous state, Victoria, has a new law that fines people for using offensive words or phrases. Kinda drastic, guys. If you don't want Rahm Emanuel to visit, just say so.  
 

The Illinois legislature approved a bill that will allow a casino to be built in Chicago. If you hit the jackpot, you can win up to 10,000 extra votes.  
 

The Pentagon announced its position that cyber combat can count as an act of war. And its new secret weapon? Anthony Weiner's Twitter account.  
 
 
 
Air Force F-16 fighter jets were scrambled after an incident on an airplane that started with an argument over a reclined seat. Sounds like an over-reaction. They should save that for serious matters - like when the in-flight movie is a Michael Moore documentary.  
 
 
 
A new report shows that the number of government-owned limos increased by 73% during Obama's first two years as President. Impressive. In the same week, he's hit an all-time high in both limos and food stamps.  
 
 
 
The LA Times says that Obama has an "intellectual stammer" problem - a brain that is thinking so fast that the mouth can't keep up. Intellectual spending problem, too.  
 
 
 
An IRS report says that there's been a nearly five-fold increase in taxpayer identity theft between 2008 and 2010. I don't get it. With Obama around, who'd want to be mistaken for a taxpayer?  
 
 
 
On CNBC, a market strategist said that "we're on the verge of a great, great depression". And to clarify for Obama, this does NOT mean that you're twice the President that FDR was.  
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner said he didn't recognize himself or his shorts in that photo. Must have been a helluva party.  
 

  -- Fred Thompson
 

Sarah Palin launched a speaking tour Friday as political pundits speculated over whether she's running for president. The idea is to appear more thoughtful, more statesmanlike and more incisive. Her goal is for Saturday Night Live to hire Margaret Thatcher to impersonate her.   
 
 
 
The Pentagon said that Osama bin Laden's third wife wouldn't get the twenty-five million dollar reward for reportedly turning him in to U.S. authorities. It served as a warning to all the men in Saudi Arabia. Just because women can't drive doesn't mean they can't use the phone.  
 

The U.S. Postal Service just completed a survey that'll determine how many post offices get shut down. New figures say they lose a billion a month. The Postal Service is always bragging that it's the most profitable branch of government and now they have the numbers to back it up.  
 
 
 
The White House announced Thursday it will launch a national advertising campaign that urges illegal immigrants in America to become U.S. citizens. It's a different country. Ten years ago the most popular drink in L.A. was Sex on the Beach and now it's Amnesty with a Wink.  
 
 
 
Congressman Anthony Weiner allegedly tweeted a below-the-waist photo of an aroused man in his underwear to his followers and couldn't deny it was a photo of himself. Of course it was him. For decency's sake, Democrats need to keep their pants on and their cellphone cameras off whenever they're alone in their office looking at a spending bill.  
 
 
 
President Obama was criticized Tuesday after he decided to play golf on Memorial Day at a Washington D.C. country club. People should cut him some slack. It's a lot more respectful than putting in a national cemetery and letting out a shout every time the ball goes into the hole.   
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton returned from Islamabad last week and announced that Pakistan is a good partner. She's famous for her judgment in that department. Hillary Clinton calling Pakistan a good partner means that they're cheating with the Taliban and lying to the grand jury about it.  
 
 
 
The White House was revealed Tuesday to have doubled the number of limousines in the U.S. government fleet for use by U.S. officials. There are now five hundred government limos carrying government officials around Washington. However, the administration insists on environmentally-friendly limousines, so each limo comes equipped with an electric blender.  
 
 
 
The World Health Organization issued a warning about cell phone use Tuesday. They said holding a cell phone next to your head may cause brain cancer. When Congressman Anthony Weiner got the news he checked to make sure that his health insurance covers testicular cancer.   
 

U.S. Rep Anthony Weiner tweeted a photo of an aroused man in underwear to his followers Monday. He tweets porno actresses every day and lobbies for visas for foreign supermodels. Martin Sheen is going to adopt him so he has a back-up in case anything ever happens to Charlie.  
 

Wall Street fell three hundred points Wednesday on news about low home sales and poor manufacturing reports and the low number of new jobs. It's going well. The New Dictionary of American Psychiatry states that the first step to curing depression is to re-name it a recovery.   
 
 
 
GOP House leaders met with President Obama Wednesday to try to strike a deal to slash spending and raise the debt limit. They had a frank discussion. Afterwards when the Republicans walked to the microphones on the South Lawn, the president ordered the sprinklers turned on.  
 
 
 
U.S. Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz accused the Republicans Monday of trying to make it a crime to be an illegal immigrant. She sees a conspiracy. First Republicans want to say that illegal aliens are illegal, then next they're going to want to take away their voting rights.  
 
 
 
President Obama met with House Republicans Tuesday and ripped them for undermining health care. The argument is real. House Democrats want a health care system based on the European model, except for Anthony Weiner who wants a European model based in Copenhagen.  
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner's wife Huma Abedin came to her husband's defense Friday. She works as Hillary Clinton's assistant in the State Department after starting out as an intern in the Clinton White House fifteen years ago. She cut her teeth in Washington politics fending off Weiner Jokes.  
 
 
 
The Global Commission on Drug Policy released a report to the U.N. Friday advising the U.S. and all world governments to legalize pot, cocaine and heroin. This has enormous political implications. If Hollywood has to start paying taxes on drugs it could turn them into Republicans.  
 
 
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
 


Offline Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 6/6/11
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2011, 06:55:02 AM »
yeah pookie!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 6/6/11
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2011, 10:35:48 AM »

Offline illeagle

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Re: Today's Toons 6/6/11
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2011, 12:16:41 PM »
The beginning of a Great Week with Pookie Toons! Thanks, Pookie! :patriot:

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 6/6/11
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2011, 12:23:51 PM »
The beginning of a Great Week with Pookie Toons! Thanks, Pookie! :patriot:

You're welcome, Illeagle!

Offline ricebug

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Re: Today's Toons 6/6/11
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2011, 05:50:49 PM »
G'day, Pookie!!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 6/6/11
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2011, 05:53:17 PM »


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