Author Topic: Today's Toons 3/14/11  (Read 4839 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 3/14/11
« on: March 14, 2011, 10:50:21 am »

 


 


 


 

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

A NASA scientist claims to have discovered evidence of alien life forms on meteorites. I'm torn on this. I want him to find out where they're from, but I don't want him to get in trouble with Eric Holder for profiling.
 

During a rabble-rousing protest speech in Madison, Wisconsin, Michael Moore said that "America is not broke." Too bad he can't say the same thing about the last scale he stepped on.
 

A satellite that was supposed to study global warming crashed shortly after take-off on Friday. It's a terrible thing. How are these guys supposed to prove global warming without good, solid data to fudge?
 

A contest to have President Obama give a high school commencement address got only 68 entrants, a far cry from over 1000 last year. Probably because this year, Obama saying "you can grow up to do what I did" is more of a cautionary tale than an inspiration.
 

When asked why the administration opposed drilling in ANWR, Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said, "We don’t believe that you need to drill everywhere". OK, then how about letting us drill SOMEWHERE?
 

White House Chief of Staff Bill Daley said on Sunday the Obama administration wants to ease oil prices by tapping into the U.S. strategic oil reserve. Good plan. Then they can fill it back up with nice, cheap, IOUs.
 

In a major diplomatic victory for the Libyan opposition, France has become the first country to formally recognize Libya’s rebel leadership. Ya know, the last time the French took the lead on something while the US did nothing, it was because America handn't been discovered yet.
 

Democrat Congressman Bennie Thompson says holding hearings on radical Islam will create more terrorists. Which is kinda like saying that learning to swim increases your chance of drowning.
 

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney complained that Wisconsin's Governor Walker was "not following the principle that we need to all come together and work together". Well, that's kinda hard to do when 40% of the state senate is hiding out in Illinois.
 

The latest reports show that gas prices have gone up 67 percent since Obama became president. Obviously it's because somebody out there isn't inflating their tires properly.
 

One of Wisconsin's runaway Democrats told MSNBC that "this is our Pearl Harbor". OK... and are unions the Japanese or the Americans in this scenario?
 

  -- Fred Thompson
 

President Obama urged Moammar Khadaffi to step down Friday but refused to send U.S. troops to Libya. The Obama Doctrine is in effect. If Moammar Khadaffi keeps up his dangerous behavior, the U.S. will send in the Department of Social Services to forcibly remove his sons.
 

Michelle Obama received Mike Huckabee's support Friday for her diet and exercise proposals to help kids fight obesity. The U.S. government also has a new fitness plan to help get adults out and walking several miles a day. It's called four-dollar-a-gallon gasoline.
 

The White House vowed to work with Congress to cut waste in spending after two GAO reports came out. The reports said it all. The first report said the U.S. spends ten billion a year on fifteen redundant government programs and the second report said the U.S. government spends ten billion a year on fifteen redundant government programs.
 

President Obama hinted at U.S. willingness to intervene in Libya under the cover of NATO. He had to weigh the risks. Trying to overthrow Khadaffi might cost him his next Nobel Peace Prize, but Nobel still awards prizes for medicine, physics and comedy-variety. 
 

The White House considered tapping the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to increase U.S. oil supplies and ease prices Monday. It's a start. Until now, the only plan Democrats have had to increase the number of barrels of oil produced is to decrease the size of the barrels.
 

The U.S. Border Patrol in Arizona was ordered to fire only beanbags at Mexican drug runners Tuesday. No one's happy. Arizonans want a wall, the cops say beanbags stop nothing, and Mexicans are demanding they use live ammunition because beans are an offensive racial stereotype.
 

Hillary Clinton was upset by an NCIS episode on CBS last week which depicted her being held hostage by al-Qaeda. It was her third appearance in a crime series. The first one ran for eight years in Arkansas and the second one ran for eight years in Washington.
 

Congress received an independent report Tuesday saying that the U.S. military has too many whites and too many men in charge. They can fix this in their pitch to recruits. All they've got to do is stop promising career training and start promising teacher's pensions.
 

Moammar Khadaffi was rumored Wednesday brokering a deal to exit Libya and go into exile. He's fielded offers from the rebels, the Swiss, and the U.S. and Britain. Suddenly everybody's got the same idea about who should replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a half Men.
 

President Obama met with the Boston Celtics Tuesday, then hosted a party at the White House Wednesday to watch the Chicago Bulls play Charlotte. The president is tired of people thinking he's not an observant Christian. He's given up foreign policy for Lent.
 

President Obama met Hillary Clinton and CIA Director Leon Panetta in the White House Wednesday to plot the next move against Khadaffi. They've decided to do the only thing they know how to do. They're going to run commercials against him in Iowa.
 

Senator Harry Reid gave a speech to Nevada state lawmakers last week and urged them to outlaw prostitution. Better they keep hookers legal and outlaw the politicians. At least the hookers are up front about what they plan to do to you after you give them your money.
 

President Obama held a press conference Friday to address the skyrocketing price of oil and consumer pain at the pump. The nation's highest gas prices are in Beverly Hills. Last night Lindsay Lohan was videotaped walking out of a hardware store with a siphon hose around her neck.
 

GOP Congressman Peter King held hearings Thursday on the growing radicalization of American Muslim youth. Who can doubt it's a problem? The hearing room was jammed with young Muslims and three times the congressman got hit in the head by a paper airplane.
 

NPR asked its audience to call Congress and fight GOP efforts to end federal funding Friday, saying NPR gets criticized as often for being too conservative as they get criticized for being too liberal. The phones rang off the hook. The FBI had just issued a warning asking Americans to watch out for anybody using fertilizer for anything besides lawn care.
 

-- Argus Hamilton
 

---------------------------------------
 

So a Republican and a Democrat are walking down the street...
 

They come upon a homeless person. The Republican gives the homeless person $20 and a business card and says, "If you're looking for work, contact me." They walk another block and come upon another homeless person. It's the Democrat's turn.
 

So he reaches into the Republican's pocket, gives the homeless guy $50 and keeps walking...
 
 
 

(Thank you, Oceander)

Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 3/14/11
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2011, 11:03:36 am »
yeah pookie!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 3/14/11
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2011, 11:07:33 am »

Offline illeagle

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Re: Today's Toons 3/14/11
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2011, 11:23:18 am »
A good Monday Morning to you and Thanks Pookie. :taz:
“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke

 “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 3/14/11
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2011, 11:25:44 am »
A good Monday Morning to you and Thanks Pookie. :taz:

Mornin' & you're welcome, Illeagle (& Taz)!

Offline niobe527

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Re: Today's Toons 3/14/11
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2011, 02:29:34 pm »
good morning pookie

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 3/14/11
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2011, 02:37:44 pm »
good morning pookie

Mornin', niobe!

Offline Davidfxs

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Re: Today's Toons 3/14/11
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2011, 01:13:48 am »
Thank you Pookie
Liberals are like Slinkies, Good for nothing really. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of Stairs.

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 3/14/11
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2011, 01:21:31 am »
Thank you Pookie

My pleasure, David!