A. Paul McCartney is famous for silly little ditties. He even spoofed it himself with "Silly Love Songs." "Wonderful Christmastime" is a perfect silly little holiday ditty, right in line with Elton John's "Step into Christmas" from a few years before. Not every song has to be deep. Songs like those are perfect for radio: easy to listen to, easy to tune into the background.
B. Mannheim Steamroller? Not since Vince Guaraldi's trio had a group been able to make instrumental Christmas music memorable. I'd argue without them, we wouldn't have Trans-Siberian Orchestra a decade later. Just because it has a synthesizer doesn't mean it's dated; I think they strike a perfect balance between synthpop (a genre that I don't like, so the fact that I like the group should prove it's not overpowering) and the classic pops orchestras.
C. Ugh. Christmas Shoes... and though I've mercifully never heard Please Daddy, just by the title it sounds like I should continue avoiding it. Very rarely does combining children with maudlinity (is that a word) ever work, especially at Christmastime. About the only one I have ever heard work well is Haggard's "If We Make It Through December," which is sung from the father's perspective and is buoyed by a fitting, understated arrangement.
D. Streisand? Yeah. That record is just... she should have known better.
E. Little Drummer Boy: actually, the choral version is probably the most tolerable version of that piece, and I wouldn't call the vocals "shrill" by any means. Roseanne is shrill. Hillary Clinton is shrill. Gilbert Gottfried is shrill. Boy sopranos in a choir are not shrill.
F. Stuttering Blue Christmas / Grandma Got Run Over... - It's a joke, son. Chill.
I don't really have a strong opinion on Merry Christmas Baby, because it seems more a personal taste thing.
Now, a few of mine:
1. Any record in which the (usually female) singer confuses Santa Claus for Cupid. Particular offenders: "My Only Wish" by Britney Spears (which I have performed in a very ironic manner as a singer), "Santa Tell Me" by Ariana Grande, "Hey Santa" by Carnie and Wendy Wilson.
2. Do They Know It's Christmas? Yes, they do. Between imperialism and missionaries, Africa knows it's Christmas, and this record shows how far painfully out of touch most of the UK's music industry is in regard to what Africa is really like. When it comes to arrogance, "tonight thank God it's them (the members of Band Aid) instead of you."
3. Last Christmas - This is the most stereotypically effeminately gay record I've heard (as opposed to the Village People's "butch" gay). The original has some camp value—but if you want to talk about dated 80s arrangements, this song is far worse of an offender than anything the Steamroller puts out. The constant barrage of covers all seem to strip it of its redeeming qualities.
4. Santa Baby - Christmas celebrates the birth of a man who preached that the ideal man gives away all his wealth to the poor and follows him. "Santa Baby" sends the exact opposite message of a woman who demands extreme levels of material wealth.
5. Someone Is Missing at Christmas. I remember having the radio on Christmas Day with my family, and we all heard this song come on... and we laughed at how horrible it was. It's funny how trying too hard to be sincere can be more hilarious than actual comedy.
6. Any song that tries to appropriate Santa Claus into their ethnicity ("Santa Must Be Polish," "Dominick the Donkey," "Santa Claus is a Black Man"). Exception: "Santa Claus and His Old Lady," because Cheech and Chong are actually funny.
