Author Topic: Today's Toons 8/20/18  (Read 3113 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 8/20/18
« on: August 20, 2018, 04:13:51 AM »

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:

(Thank you, cartoonist Rex May)
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
Santa Monica's law banning the use of plastic straws began spreading rapidly to other cities on California. Back in the late Seventies, all my friends in Hollywood thought I was showing off when I used a one-hundred-dollar bill for a straw. It turns out I was a cutting-edge environmentalist.
 
Hillary Clinton and Steven Spielberg will coproduce a documentary series on the centennial of the women's suffrage victory. This series is very personal to Hillary. It'll tell the story how women struggled hard to win the right to vote, so that one hundred years later they could elect Donald Trump.
 
Facebook angered free speech advocates and conservatives by taking down Alex Jones's page due to what FB deemed to be objectionable content. They can't please everybody. Facebook is soon starting a dating app that has Californians upset because they only allow users to choose five genders.
 
West Hollywood City Council urged the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce to remove Trump's star from the Walk of Fame, citing his treatment of women. That's silly. Remove every womanizer's star and the Hollywood Walk of Fame would consist of two thousand actresses, Liberace and Lassie.
 
Venezuela's socialist economy fell apart on Tuesday just as newly-elected Democratic House members were urging primary candidates to back higher taxes, Medicare for all and free college. It seems every generation has to learn the same lesson. A sardine is a whale after ten years of socialism. 
 
Mexico's new socialist president Lopez Obrador announced he's giving his Interior Minister a free rein to consider legalizing all drugs in Mexico, including cocaine. Reaction was swift. Six Hollywood stars just vowed to leave the United States whether Trump gets re-elected or not. 
 
Secretary of Defense James Mattis agreed to the Space Force and now the idea must be submitted to Congress. It's all been worked out. The first task of the Space Force will be to build a wall to keep illegal aliens from entering the Earth, and we are going to make the Klingons pay for it. 
 
Republican pundits pointed to the narrow win in Ohio as a sign there'll be no Blue Wave this fall. It never ends. Democratic pundits are all pointing to the narrow loss in Ohio as a hopeful sign that in the midterm Democrats will be able to build on that success and narrowly lose nationwide. 
 
The New York Times ran an editorial calling for the elimination of the Constitution saying it's anti-democratic. New York liberals need to make up their minds. In the morning, they say minorities are oppressed by the document because it was written by conservative white men, then in the evening they pay eight hundred dollars a ticket to give Hamilton a standing ovation for writing it.
 
The L.A. Times reported that marijuana is now too expensive for many former users now that it's been legalized. Only two things are impossible, defying gravity and explaining L.A. to outsiders. Los Angeles is the only city where you buy marijuana at the store and straws from a dude in an alley.
 
Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham was arrested at the Beverly Hills Hotel for assaulting a Polo Lounge security guard. The classy venue has begun attracting troublemakers. The Polo Lounge dessert menu offers an orange sherbet that's so rich, Omarosa claims she heard it saying the N-word.
 
President Trump urged Republicans to go to the polls in November to ensure that the House votes the money for a wall and cuts off federal money for sanctuary cities. On Friday a mosquito in Baltimore tested positive for West Nile Virus. He claimed to be undocumented, and was released.
 
Stormy Daniels announced Monday that she has agreed to appear as a guest star on Celebrity Big Brother this fall on ABC. Of course she has no idea that it's a reality show on network TV. Stormy thinks she's filming a threesome on Celebrity Big Brother and under Celebrity Little Brother.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
 

Online Polly Ticks

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2018, 08:14:23 AM »
Thanks, Pookie!
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2018, 09:47:17 AM »
Thanks, Pookie!

You're welcome, Polly Ticks!

Offline verga

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2018, 10:47:38 AM »
Nice Job Pookie
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2018, 10:48:49 AM »

Offline ricebug

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2018, 11:53:58 AM »
G'day, Pookie!!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2018, 11:57:29 AM »

Online Cyber Liberty

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2018, 12:33:32 PM »
Quote
West Hollywood City Council urged the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce to remove Trump's star from the Walk of Fame, citing his treatment of women. That's silly. Remove every womanizer's star and the Hollywood Walk of Fame would consist of two thousand actresses, Liberace and Lassie.

So it's all women, a gay guy and a tranny dog?  Perfect!  Sounds like the setup to a joke, and I can't wait for the punchline!

Thanks for the Monday toons, Pookie!  Four more left until I'm a Civilian!
I will NOT comply.
Thanks to Cripplecreek and Oceander for the medal!      

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2018, 12:40:35 PM »
So it's all women, a gay guy and a tranny dog?  Perfect!  Sounds like the setup to a joke, and I can't wait for the punchline!

Thanks for the Monday toons, Pookie!  Four more left until I'm a Civilian!

My pleasure, CL! You're already civil...

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2018, 06:42:01 PM »
Thanks, pookie!
How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression
And I looked, and rose up, and said unto the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses. Nehemiah 4:14 (KJV)

About the only "Big" Liberals don't revile is "Big Government"

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 8/20/18
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2018, 06:43:09 PM »
Thanks, pookie!

You're welcome, as always, Smokin Joe!


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