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Author Topic: How a guy passes gas.  (Read 1564 times)

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Offline WingNot

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How a guy passes gas.
« on: January 28, 2018, 08:22:52 pm »

And then you have those of us that sound like an A-10 burst.
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Offline libertybele

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2018, 12:34:58 am »
 :rolling:    Gee... now this is information that one just can't do without!
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Offline dfwgator

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2018, 12:38:51 am »
And then you pull the covers over her head right afterwards.



(That's called a "Dutch Oven")
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Offline WingNot

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2018, 12:48:44 am »
Be fearless, be proud, be as loud as your anus will allow. 
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Offline Free Vulcan

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2018, 01:25:51 am »
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Offline andy58-in-nh

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2018, 01:33:38 am »
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"The most terrifying force of death, comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone. They try, so very hard, to mind their own business and provide for themselves and those they love. They resist every impulse to fight back, knowing the forced and permanent change of life that will come from it. They know, that the moment they fight back, their lives as they have lived them, are over. -Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Offline INVAR

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2018, 01:42:01 am »
You're all freaking amateurs.

Stand aside and let a man show you how to clear a room or small province:


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Fart for freedom, fart for liberty and fart proudly.  - Benjamin Franklin

...Obsta principiis—Nip the shoots of arbitrary power in the bud, is the only maxim which can ever preserve the liberties of any people. When the people give way, their deceivers, betrayers and destroyers press upon them so fast that there is no resisting afterwards. The nature of the encroachment upon [the] American constitution is such, as to grow every day more and more encroaching. Like a cancer, it eats faster and faster every hour." - John Adams, February 6, 1775

Offline WingNot

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2018, 01:42:09 am »
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Offline mystery-ak

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2018, 01:46:19 am »
Quote from: dfwgator on January 29, 2018, 12:38:51 am
And then you pull the covers over her head right afterwards.



(That's called a "Dutch Oven")

No..I tuck the covers tightly so it can't escape....can't believe I posted on this thread...
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Offline INVAR

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2018, 01:57:07 am »
Quote from: mystery-ak on January 29, 2018, 01:46:19 am
No..I tuck the covers tightly so it can't escape....can't believe I posted on this thread...

Oh a PRESSURE COOKER gas chamber!

See guys.... women can be pure evil!
« Last Edit: January 29, 2018, 01:58:14 am by INVAR »
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Fart for freedom, fart for liberty and fart proudly.  - Benjamin Franklin

...Obsta principiis—Nip the shoots of arbitrary power in the bud, is the only maxim which can ever preserve the liberties of any people. When the people give way, their deceivers, betrayers and destroyers press upon them so fast that there is no resisting afterwards. The nature of the encroachment upon [the] American constitution is such, as to grow every day more and more encroaching. Like a cancer, it eats faster and faster every hour." - John Adams, February 6, 1775

Offline WingNot

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2018, 02:00:37 am »
Quote from: INVAR on January 29, 2018, 01:57:07 am

See guys.... women can be pure evil!
:beer:
Was that ever in doubt!  LOL 
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Offline roamer_1

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2018, 02:47:04 am »
Quote from: mystery-ak on January 29, 2018, 01:46:19 am
No..I tuck the covers tightly so it can't escape...

I can't do that. I'd wind up in North Dakota by morning...
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Offline roamer_1

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2018, 02:50:25 am »
Quote from: INVAR on January 29, 2018, 01:42:01 am
You're all freaking amateurs.

Stand aside and let a man show you how to clear a room or small province:




Bratwurst and kraut, no doubt...  with onion and a hot mustard.  And cheap beer.
Been there, done that.
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Offline INVAR

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2018, 03:01:19 am »
Quote from: roamer_1 on January 29, 2018, 02:50:25 am
Bratwurst and kraut, no doubt...  with onion and a hot mustard.  And cheap beer.
Been there, done that.

Oh yes.  FUEL!

I'll see your bratwurst, kraut and beer and raise you a can of hormel chili, a half dozen boiled eggs, a fried pickle, some pepper jack cheese, a sixer of Schlitz and five minutes of jumping jacks on a trampoline.

! No longer available
« Last Edit: January 29, 2018, 03:03:08 am by INVAR »
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Fart for freedom, fart for liberty and fart proudly.  - Benjamin Franklin

...Obsta principiis—Nip the shoots of arbitrary power in the bud, is the only maxim which can ever preserve the liberties of any people. When the people give way, their deceivers, betrayers and destroyers press upon them so fast that there is no resisting afterwards. The nature of the encroachment upon [the] American constitution is such, as to grow every day more and more encroaching. Like a cancer, it eats faster and faster every hour." - John Adams, February 6, 1775

Offline GrouchoTex

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2018, 03:13:43 am »
People avoid my house the first few days of the new year.
Cabbage
Black-eyed peas.
Repeat as leftovers.
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Offline roamer_1

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2018, 03:51:57 am »
Quote from: INVAR on January 29, 2018, 03:01:19 am
Oh yes.  FUEL!

I'll see your bratwurst, kraut and beer and raise you a can of hormel chili, a half dozen boiled eggs, a fried pickle, some pepper jack cheese, a sixer of Schlitz and five minutes of jumping jacks on a trampoline.


Ahh... A fellow professional. *hat tip*
You've got to do what you're good at...
Till folks pay you not to.

I prefer a layered approach:

A plate of corn beef hash for breakfast w/ a red (V8) beer (PBR) to kill the hangover from the night before.
Doughnuts and another red beer for the 10 AM break
12 White Castle Sliders for lunch with a 32 oz root beer
4-6 pickled eggs from the jug on the bar with a few PBRs to chase em down for the 3PM break... A plate of hot wings if you have the room.
The #3 plate at El Oso Chico (Chili Rellano, Tostada, Beef Enchilada) w/ a couple Tecates  (for boquet) for dinner...
6-10 PBRs after hours with a rack of Texas style Babybacks late night
And a plate of Perkins Chili Fries at bar rush

If you have the  fortitude to hold yer mud, the CDC will be sending out emergency bulletins by the time you hit the sack.
Don't mess with me, man.

BTW, haven't had a Schlitz (or a Hileman's Old Style) in a coon's age. Ain't seen one in well over twenty years... 
 :beer: :beer:
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Offline GtHawk

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2018, 04:37:21 am »
Quote from: roamer_1 on January 29, 2018, 02:50:25 am
Bratwurst and kraut, no doubt...  with onion and a hot mustard.  And cheap beer.
Been there, done that.
If ya really want to up the ante.................Russell sprouts and fried cauliflower.
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Offline roamer_1

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2018, 04:59:09 am »
Quote from: GtHawk on January 29, 2018, 04:37:21 am
If ya really want to up the ante.................Russell sprouts and fried cauliflower.

In a brown sugar glaze, with a cheese sauce and a little siracha... Then you've got something.
the 'what' provides the stank...
But it's the sugar that feeds the critters in your gut and gets them making gas.

try coating those cauliflower florets in siracha and baking them...
right at the last, hit them with a brown sugar and butter glaze..
and follow through with a pepper jack cheese sauce... you'll see what I mean.
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Offline INVAR

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Re: How a guy passes gas.
« Reply #18 on: January 29, 2018, 05:05:41 am »
Quote from: roamer_1 on January 29, 2018, 03:51:57 am
Ahh... A fellow professional. *hat tip*

I prefer a layered approach:

A plate of corn beef hash for breakfast w/ a red (V8) beer (PBR) to kill the hangover from the night before.
Doughnuts and another red beer for the 10 AM break
12 White Castle Sliders for lunch with a 32 oz root beer
4-6 pickled eggs from the jug on the bar with a few PBRs to chase em down for the 3PM break... A plate of hot wings if you have the room.
The #3 plate at El Oso Chico (Chili Rellano, Tostada, Beef Enchilada) w/ a couple Tecates  (for boquet) for dinner...
6-10 PBRs after hours with a rack of Texas style Babybacks late night
And a plate of Perkins Chili Fries at bar rush

If you have the  fortitude to hold yer mud, the CDC will be sending out emergency bulletins by the time you hit the sack.
Don't mess with me, man.

BTW, haven't had a Schlitz (or a Hileman's Old Style) in a coon's age. Ain't seen one in well over twenty years... 
 :beer: :beer:

Oh, you win with that combo.

I have no doubt that the fuel intake described above can indeed send your night nest with tucked-in sheets clear to Bottineau overnight if not sooner.  I certainly hope you do not smoke in bed or denizens of the Northern hemisphere would be subject to a Chelyabinsk-like event.

I mean, you got to be careful there about a critical component of your layered solid fuel intake.  You risk busting your O-rings and end up with parts of your colon raining down from the stratosphere.

WHITE CASTLE any time, is one of the most unstable gastrointestinal fuels known to mankind.   It even beats out weeks-old jarred kimchee and Granny's Irish pickled purple hull peas washed down with buttermilk.   

Because dude, Sliders mixed with root beer or any of the above solid fuel components you mentioned, is a fusion reaction in your intestines.   While gas in itself is the intended goal of such an intake - more often than not you'll get substance beyond just acrid olfactory offenses.  We're talking the kind of stuff that makes you pray you are not wearing light colored trousers and that your pants are tucked deeply into your socks.  We're talking a volcanic event with pyroclastic flows down your pant legs.

I speak from personal experience on that one, and it is why I always carry a roll of TP and a canister of Clorox wipes in the car now.   We have a firm rule that White Castle on a road trip is strictly verboten.

Unless I'm riding in your car.

El Chico on the same day as White Castle merely qualifies you as a WMD.

Just sayin'.

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Fart for freedom, fart for liberty and fart proudly.  - Benjamin Franklin

...Obsta principiis—Nip the shoots of arbitrary power in the bud, is the only maxim which can ever preserve the liberties of any people. When the people give way, their deceivers, betrayers and destroyers press upon them so fast that there is no resisting afterwards. The nature of the encroachment upon [the] American constitution is such, as to grow every day more and more encroaching. Like a cancer, it eats faster and faster every hour." - John Adams, February 6, 1775
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