More I found...
You May Be a Shithole Country If...
...your President-for-Life has almost as many medals as John Kerry applied for.
...the hurricane you experienced 30 years ago is still a front-page national emergency.
...machetes are placed on the right with the salad fork.
...all press reports start by praising your country's Menshevik medical system.
...your Transport Ministry classifies llama as a "muscle car".
...if your National Fragrance is musk ox.
...the hit of the Boat Show is the exciting new Twin Outboard Water Buffalo 2000!
...even gypsies refuse to steal your children.
...nerve gas just went up to $2.89 per gallon self-serve.
...American college students put your Gestapo Chief's picture on their t-shirts to be cool.
...your Number #1 pizza topping is tree bark.
...Dick Durbin and Bob Mueller scrubbed all references to your culture from the FBI's counter-terrorism manuals on orders from the local Muslim Brotherhood, Oval Office Chapter.
...college professors insist we adopt your country's political system, even though you just ate Sunday brunch from a dumpster.
...your nation's entire GDP is based on Deepak Chopra successfully bilking lonely widows.
...the .50 caliber machine guns you just bought out of the back of a stolen Lexus in Juarez say "Courtesy of Eric Holder".
...the secret ingredient in your country's hot dogs: hot dogs.
...your national Rock-Throwing Team has dominated the Olympic Medal count for the last fifty years.
..."Snakes on a Plane!" is both the in-flight movie and the motto painted on the tail-fin of your national airline.
...you want to sacrifice a 9 year-old virgin to the volcano but they're all happily-married.
...your dictators, criminals and terrorists got their nukes from Obama, their machine guns from Holder, their small arms from Hillary, their censorship from Facebook and their excuses from the Mainstream Fake News.
...Liam Neeson is rescuing his daughter from your extended family.
...your State-Run Media isn't must-see TV--it's must-watch.
...your Entertainment Industry is powered by dung-fired power plants. And the entertainment consists of watching the dung fire.
...your cabinet ministers openly take bribes while your former presidente wiretaps political opponents with the help of the National Police Force in order to rig an election...oh, wait...
