Author Topic: Today's Toons 12/11/17 (Read 5863 times)

pookie18 · « **on:** December 11, 2017, 11:20:53 am »

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

CBS fired CBS Morning News host Charlie Rose Monday for sexual misconduct with women following lurid accusations against him. A few days later, NBC fired Today Show host Matt Lauer for sexual misbehavior. ABC just announced they're replacing George Stephanopoulos with a eunuch.

Former Secretary of State John Kerry said Thursday there is still time to negotiate with North Korea. Under his watch, civil war broke out in Syria, ISIS captured three cities in Iraq and the Taliban seized most of Afghanistan. John Kerry couldn't stop a ketchup fight at a Heinz family picnic.

Los Angeles reportedly doesn't have enough Spanish-speaking judges to adjudicate the cases involving illegal aliens. The language barrier merely adds to the cultural confusion. Yesterday, two Mexican guys showed up in L.A. court for their deportation hearing, and the judge married them.

The John F. Kennedy Center honorees expressed joy Sunday that Trump declined to attend the gala. The event is synonymous with dignity. At least half a dozen women were sexually assaulted or groped by Hollywood and Washington's political elite during the evening in Jack Kennedy's honor.

ABC's Brian Ross' report that Trump met with Russians during the election Friday crashed the stock market for an hour before it was refuted as bogus. He's suspended. Now every TV reporter knows he can make millions by selling short and then reporting that Trump's in real trouble this time.

The Justice Department vowed to take up the case against Kate Steinle's illegal alien killer last week after a San Francisco jury ruled that the fatal street shooting was not intentional. The world is upside down. If Kate Steinle's attacker had groped her instead of killing her, he would be in jail today.

Kate Steinle's illegal immigrant killer was ruled not guilty of murder in San Francisco Friday after the jury believed his story about the shooting. The defendant testified he accidentally dropped his pants and the gun in his pants went off. Matt Lauer told the same story to NBC but it didn't work.

NBC summarily fired Matt Lauer as host of the Today Show after twenty years Wednesday for improper sexual conduct with women at work. The news broke suddenly. The issue became known when a new Today Show segment was proposed called, Where in the World Are Matt Lauer's Pants?

FBI agent Peter Strzok, it was learned, was fired from the Trump-Russia probe after his e-mail revealed he's partisan anti-Trump and pro-Hillary. It's tough for today's FBI agents to live up to the standards for personal character set by the founder. J. Edgar Hoover left some really high heels to fill. The View host Joy Behar went delirious on Monday's show announcing that ABC's Brian Ross just reported Flynn will testify Trump colluded with Russians. However Ross made a false deduction. Each morning ABC, NBC and CNN have Trump impeached, but by night Fox News lets him get away.

The View host Joy Behar went delirious on Monday's show announcing that ABC's Brian Ross just reported Flynn will testify Trump colluded with Russians. However Ross made a false deduction. Each morning ABC, NBC and CNN have Trump impeached, but by night Fox News lets him get away.

Scotland Yard foiled an ISIS plot to assassinate Prime Minister Theresa May at 10 Downing Street on Tuesday morning. It was very difficult for Americans to receive any details about the breaking story. That's because all our morning news anchors have been fired for sexual misconduct

The Supreme Court upheld President Trump's right to ban foreigners from America because of security concerns. At the time, Barack Obama was giving speeches in India, ripping Trump and laughing it up and having a good time. That could change when he tries to re-enter the United States.

Congressman John Conyers resigned from Congress at age eighty-eight Tuesday in the wake of all the sex harassment charges by his female House staffers. He can finally start making some money. He's already booked two hundred gigs next year as a male stripper on the nursing home circuit.

President Obama drew praise from Jewish leaders Wednesday when he announced the U.S. will recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital. Even Jewish Democrats were always uncomfortable with the previous administration's stand on the issue. President Obama wanted to make Damascus the capital.

Senator Al Franken was urged to resign Tuesday after a lady accused Al of forcibly trying to kiss her during his radio show. Seven women accused him of unwanted kissing and groping. It doesn't look good when the Senate gift shop sells tear-away jerseys to women taking the Capitol tour.

-- Argus Hamilton

Due to the harassment scandal, Matt Lauer's wife has now left the country. She said, "I want to be where in the world Matt Lauer isn't."

-- Conan

Thirty-two Democratic senators have now called on Sen. Al Franken to step aside after another woman accused him of sexual misconduct. Also stepping aside: women when they see Al Franken coming.

-- Seth Meyers

(Thank you, South40)