What’s the first question most people ask you when you meet?
It’s likely, “What do you do?â€
This has become the new “How’s it going?†or “How about that weather?†and it’s awful.
If you’re anything like me, this question leaves you feeling sized-up and minimized. It’s as if the asker is thinking to herself, “I’m out of here if she doesn’t fit my predetermined criteria of what is interesting.â€
So, you struggle to answer, not even sure if the asker cares in the first place, or if it’s just small talk.
Why does it have to be like this? And why do we care so much about what someone does, anyway? Hopefully, we respect ourselves enough to know that we are dynamic people who can’t be described adequately in one sentence. We also know that we can’t get someone to feel invested in us, or our work, in a quick transactional conversation.
Isn’t there a better way? Yes, but you may have to break a few norms to bust up the status quo to really get to know someone.
Here’s a list of some better icebreaker questions to consider. I’ve broken them into mild, medium and hot so you can go deeper as your palate allows.
Play with what works for you in various environments and points in a conversation. A ‘hot’ one is typically best if reserved until after you’ve warmed someone up a bit, so they feel comfortable enough to open up. Some environments create this intimacy quickly, in which case you can dive right in.
And sometimes, a great precursor to any question is simply to admit that you’re over surface-level conversation and really want to learn what makes this person tick. So, might they mind your asking some untraditional questions, and speaking more authentically?
With that, here are 55 questions you might want to try:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/darrahbrustein/2017/11/19/the-55-best-questions-to-ask-to-break-the-ice-and-really-get-to-know-someone/#3aa5c4d13ca1
