Ten Lively Southern Expressions

[RoosGirl]

http://gardenandgun.com/articles/ten-lively-southern-expressions


1. “All hat, no cattle”
Imagine the would-be ranching magnate, flush with cash earned elsewhere, who blows into town with a ten-gallon lid, a fresh pair of boots—and a much too loud mouth.

2. “Drunker than Cooter Brown”
As legend has it, Cooter Brown was a man who did not see fit to take up with either side during the Civil War, and so remained so staggeringly drunk throughout the entire conflict that he avoided conscription.

3. “Fine as frog’s hair split four ways”
What’s that? You’ve never seen hair on a frog? Exactly. Split it four ways and it becomes awfully fine indeed.

4. “Grinning like a possum eating a sweet potato”
For a scavenger accustomed to a diet of bugs, slugs, and roadkill, having a fat, juicy sweet potato to gorge on is like winning the lottery.

5. “Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine”
Deceptively complex, this one contains a built-in lesson in postmortem porcine physiology. As a dead pig’s body lies out in the sunshine, see, its lips begin to pull back from its teeth, creating the illusion of a wide grin. The expression describes a similarly oblivious (though quite alive) person who smiles away when in reality things aren’t going so hot.

Continued at link.

[EC]

The Yorkshire version of 1 is "All mouth and trousers." It's totally devastating when one of the matriarchs brings that one out.

[catfish1957]

Ten (stereotypical) Lively Southern Expressions

No one around here, or for the past 60 years I know talks like that.

[austingirl]

Here's one:

Butter my buns and call me a biscuit.

I saw it on some goofy tv show and it makes me laugh.

[RoosGirl]

No one around here, or for the past 60 years I know talks like that.

Really?  I hear 1 and 3 not infrequently, and been known to use them myself on occasion.

[Old Warrior in Exile]

Drunker than Cooter Brown somehow became Cootey Brown over time 'round these parts.

And - “Ran like a scalded haint”

Hell, I know, but not many others even here in my neck of the woods would know what a haint is these days.
It's a old Appalachian derivative of haunt, meaning ghost.

And they should have included; She's purdier than a speckled pup.

[austingirl]

Hotter than a firecracker.

[the_doc]

Also:  Grinning like a mule eating briars.   (They flap their lips out of the way of the thorns.)

Another proposed revision:  Fine as a frog's hair split four ways with a double-bladed axe and sanded off at the ends.  (We have to use a double-bladed axe, because the first whack dulls that blade.)

Also:  Pretty as a speckled pup in a red wagon.  (Can substitute "cute" for "pretty," but "pretty" sounds funnier, in my opinion.)

[roamer_1]

Drunker than Cooter Brown somehow became Cootey Brown over time 'round these parts.

And - “Ran like a scalded haint”

Hell, I know, but not many others even here in my neck of the woods would know what a haint is these days.
It's a old Appalachian derivative of haunt, meaning ghost.

And they should have included; She's purdier than a speckled pup.

Haint works up here - Ain't used much at all, but understood.

My favorites:

Rattling like a rat turd in a banjo.
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a rocking chair factory.
Nervous as a whore in church
Nuttier than squirrel sh*t.
Nuttier than a rat turd in a pistachio factory.
Happy as three fingers of Rye
Crazy as a peach orchard boar (that one certainly will mean more to y'all than to me)
and one about an abnormally endowed billygoat...

They go on and on. Brilliant colloquialisms.

Other things most folks don't understand... How can folks not understand 'That dog don't hunt' and 'cattywompus'? I swear, I explain myself on those two all the time.

[the_doc]

Haint works up here - Ain't used much at all, but understood.

My favorites:

Rattling like a rat turd in a banjo.
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a rocking chair factory.
Nervous as a whore in church
Nuttier than squirrel sh*t.
Nuttier than a rat turd in a pistachio factory.
Happy as three fingers of Rye
Crazy as a peach orchard boar (that one certainly will mean more to y'all than to me)
and one about an abnormally endowed billygoat...

They go on and on. Brilliant colloquialisms.

Other things most folks don't understand... How can folks not understand 'That dog don't hunt' and 'cattywompus'? I swear, I explain myself on those two all the time.

I have heard some of those, thanks!

I recall my grandfather being dumfounded to see the huge chicken fried steak that he had ordered at a restaurant.  He said "My word!  That's as big as a mule's lip from his ear down."

[Frank Cannon]

“Y’all ain’t from around here, now are ya?”

[Suppressed]

Here's one:

Butter my buns and call me a biscuit.

I saw it on some goofy tv show and it makes me laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crN1LnSNMr8

[GrouchoTex]

A few of my favorites, attributed to Texas, but a few cross state lines:

"Confused as a cow on Astroturf".
"Got so hot today, I saw two trees fightin' over a dog".
"She’s one bubble off plumb."
"She’s two sandwiches short of a picnic."
"She’s got more than she can say grace over."

[the_doc]

A few of my favorites, attributed to Texas, but a few cross state lines:

"Confused as a cow on Astroturf".
"Got so hot today, I saw two trees fightin' over a dog".
"She’s one bubble off plumb."
"She’s two sandwiches short of a picnic."
"She’s got more than she can say grace over."

I recall a Texas politician saying "That cat won't go to the litter box."

[Axeslinger]

I'm gonna beat you like a red-headed step child

Or my more preferred version: I'm gonna beat you like a rented mule.

And I would LOVE for someone to tell me the origin of this one:
Well, I'll be a suck egg mule!

And my personal favorite of all time:

That boy's so screwed up he couldn't find his ass with a handful of fish hooks!

[Silver Pines]

My mother had one I've never heard elsewhere, so it might just be a Mom-ism instead of a Southernism.

If someone, especially a woman, was singing in a way she didn't like, she'd say, "She sounds like a dying duck in a thunderstorm."

[roamer_1]

My mother had one I've never heard elsewhere, so it might just be a Mom-ism instead of a Southernism.

If someone, especially a woman, was singing in a way she didn't like, she'd say, "She sounds like a dying duck in a thunderstorm."

@CatherineofAragon

LOL! My Aunt was known to opine: 'She sounds like a room full of dying cats'

[Silver Pines]

@CatherineofAragon

LOL! My Aunt was known to opine: 'She sounds like a room full of dying cats'

@roamer_1

Lol! That's pretty close!  If you sound like any kind of distressed animal, it's best to shut it.

[Wingnut]

Wingnutisms

It's raining harder than a cow pissin on a flat rock. 
That boy is so hungry he's fartin dust.
He's shaking like a Kennedy at a gun show.
Busier than a one eyed cat watching 9 mouse holes.
I gotta crap so bad I could shit through the eye of a needle at 8 paces.
That boy is so tight you couldn't pull a pin out of his ass with a tractor.
Grinning like a chessie cat eating shit through a barbwire fence.
If your aunt had balls, she'd be your uncle.

[roamer_1]

Wingnutisms

He's shaking like a Kennedy at a gun show.

Shakin' like a dog sh*ttin' peach pits.

[Wingnut]

Shakin' like a dog sh*ttin' peach pits.

Busier than a cat burying a turd on a frozen lake.

[roamer_1]

Busier than a cat burying a turd on a frozen lake.

All right. Since we're going this way: 'Fartin' like the barber's cat.'

I can generally understand most country colloquialisms (which is why I like and use them)... But what does that even mean?

[240B]

Slicker than owl snot on a glass door knob.

Usually said when you get something done in an efficient way. Such as, he built that outhouse 'slicker than ...

He fixed that lawnmower 'slicker than...

[Wingnut]

The sun don't shine on the same dog's butt all the time.

[goodwithagun]

Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a (fill in the blank). In our neck of the woods it's college or university. Ohio is full of 'em.

She's a butter face. She's got a hot body, but her face . . .

He has summer teeth. Some are here, some are there . . .

She's built like a brick shithouse.