Author Topic: Fits and Starts  (Read 1857 times)

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geronl

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Fits and Starts
« on: December 07, 2016, 02:42:33 AM »

Offline Oceander

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2016, 09:17:07 AM »
Nice!  Thanks for posting. 

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2016, 02:03:01 PM »
I'll update when I can, at least weekly

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2016, 05:11:02 AM »

Offline sneakypete

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2016, 07:36:21 AM »
@geronl

Reads pretty good,but if it were me,I'd loss any hint of homosexual affections like "Oh,dear!" Most file clerks all over the world are no more homosexual than most truck drivers. It's just a job/career field they "fall into" early,and the job security is what lulls them into staying. The job may not pay much or have much status,but at least the work and the pay are stable,and they can begin to think about starting families based on that stability.  Most people aren't into taking chances. They will go for the sure thing every time over taking a chance that could pay them several times more IF it works out.  They are not risk takers/adventurers. That is pretty much how it has to be because it is these people that provide the stability you need to establish and maintain a civilization. If risk takers/adventurers were the majority,chances are we would all still be members of wandering tribes.

In MY opinion,which is free and worth every nickel it costs you,if you demean the character of your main character you will alienate the majority of your readers who would have identified with him. Everybody may want to be the hero,they they identify with the typical man or woman. Pull them in with a "hero" they can identify with,and then you can get them emotionally involved as he or she evolves and morphs into becoming a risk taker and leader instead of a human drone and follower.

Don't get me wrong. Most people don't hate a homosexual of effeminate male,but they damn sure don't identify with him,either. You might as well have a main character with a third eye in the center of his forehead so he can see better. Make his foes abnormal to your hearts content. It would even help your story line because it gives you a wider world of possibilities for the personalities and actions of the opposition characters,but you can't do this with your main character any more than you can start your main character off as a Ben Hur character. Readers need a main character that grows and evolves so they get interested in following him to see "where" he goes and the process that takes him there.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2016, 07:39:20 AM by sneakypete »
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geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2016, 02:18:50 PM »
I wasn't trying to make him sound like a homosexual. I was trying to make him sound like a stuffed shirt "dweeb" from a 30's movie but I get your point. This is a very rough draft.

The character will grow and change. That's what main characters do in a good story.

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2016, 03:25:32 PM »

Offline Idaho_Cowboy

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2016, 04:35:59 PM »

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2016, 04:56:04 PM »

Offline sneakypete

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2016, 09:44:00 PM »
snippet from a book I am working on

This is where the girl meets the alien. (She's not the main character, and she's not going to be some little girl who defeats trained soldiers in combat - those kinds of stories are dumb to me. She is a secondary character who will have bigger roles in future stories as she gets older. If this thing gets a book 3 she'll be an adult and the main communicator with these aliens.)

@geronl

I'm already looking forward to reading more of this book.

I am no authority,but I do believe you have the talent and the patience to be a successful author if you decide to keep working at it.

Ever consider trying to sell short stories to "Analogue,the magazine of Science Fiction and Fact" ? http://www.analogsf.com/,or "Issac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine"? Doing so might be the easiest and best way for you to start establishing a reputation as a science fiction writer,and practically guarantee you a readership once you do publish.

BTW,I think so highly of both that I have given out free subscriptions as Christmas presents to the children of friends that I consider to be VERY bright. Nothing to keep them interested in school and learning more than to introduce them to good science fiction and facts that will entertain them at the same time it educates them and makes them want more.
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In the entire history of the world,the only nations that had to build walls to keep their own citizens from leaving were those with leftist governments.

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2016, 12:06:37 PM »
That was surreal...

I haven't really done anything with that story start. I think it has a lot of potential but I have a lot of stories that need endings

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2016, 12:10:46 PM »
@geronl

I'm already looking forward to reading more of this book.

I am no authority,but I do believe you have the talent and the patience to be a successful author if you decide to keep working at it.

Ever consider trying to sell short stories to "Analogue,the magazine of Science Fiction and Fact" ?

Yes, I have tried in the past.

Offline Freya

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2016, 01:02:03 PM »
« Last Edit: December 21, 2016, 01:03:29 PM by Freya »
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Offline sneakypete

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2016, 06:24:15 PM »
Yes, I have tried in the past.

Well,in my defense,I DID say it was a "good idea". I didn't say it would be easy,though.

Keep trying. You'll get there.
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In the entire history of the world,the only nations that had to build walls to keep their own citizens from leaving were those with leftist governments.

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2016, 05:46:15 PM »
« Last Edit: December 23, 2016, 05:49:30 PM by geronl »

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #15 on: December 23, 2016, 10:13:10 PM »
« Last Edit: December 23, 2016, 10:14:18 PM by geronl »

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #16 on: December 25, 2016, 10:41:18 PM »
prologue to another unfinished story


Prologue
Quote

Tahm, the dwarf, ignored the screams and the dying soldiers along the high wall facing down into the mass of the demon army. There was no time to worry. "Keep firing!"

Even enchanted walls could not hold up against so many Han warriors. The first wall would be breached, they would be forced to move to a fall-back position. The second wall was not as big or as strong as the first.

Soldiers around him continued to launch bolt after bolt into the enemy mass from their lightening crystals. If only there were flame sticks to be had on this side of the war.

The Han army was moving aside, something large was seething through through them. Tahm jumped up and peered down.

"Oh crap." A soldier screamed. Tahm had the same first thought watching the dragon move smoothly and quickly up to the main doors of the city.

"It's a dragon!" Someone yelled.

"Well, why the hell not?" Tahm told himself, cursing fat Isaac for the intelligence failure, "Of course a demon army would bring dragons."

What other surprises would the Pai send?

geronl

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Re: Fits and Starts
« Reply #17 on: December 27, 2016, 10:26:56 PM »
We should have a space station around Mars by now...

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