Don't Blame My Kid for Thinking Your Cross-Dressing Child Is Weird

[mountaineer]

Don't Blame My Kid for Thinking Your Cross-Dressing Child Is Weird
By Walter Hudson 2017-01-05T11:52:53
PJ Media

As the father of an autistic son, I parent a peculiar child. My son can blend in much of the time, but eventually deviates. When playing games, he takes losses too hard. He objects to disorder, rants obsessively on odd topics, and insists upon following the rules as he sees them. All that can prompt disruptive episodes. My wife and I deal with the judgment of other parents, and fear how other children will respond to ours. We don't want to see him rejected, and we don't enjoy being judged.

It is therefore with some sympathy that I consider this account from the mother of a "gender creative" son, posted to Scary Mommy:

    My 10-year-old son wanted to enjoy a day at the park, as he frequently does. A day full of possibilities. An unfolded day full of potential new playmates, made-up games, and imaginative adventures.

    I see my son, decked out in hot pink Justice sweatpants, a neon hearts and emojis “girls” T-shirt, and pink and purple Twinkle Toe Skechers. He is perched delicately atop the hard, steel yellow monkey bars, alone, watching the other kids who seemingly never have to worry about finding a playmate. The story goes the same way every time we come here, which is several times a month, and it always goes like this:

    I watch my gender creative son bravely approach at least four different kids over the course of an hour, who are all about his age or maybe a bit younger, and ask them to play. Regardless of what he’s wearing, his personality can come off a little confounding, because he looks like a boy, but has the occasional voice and frequent mannerisms of a girl. He seeks out other kids who are alone and approaches with a confident, “Hi, I’m Charlie. What’s your name?” Sometimes they answer, sometimes they just walk away. If they answer, his next question is always, “Do you want to play?” Sometimes, he gets lucky. But usually not.

    This late afternoon, I have watched him get rejected four times already.  ...

The account continues at length, gushing indignation toward a world which rejects this boy who acts like a girl. Why can't the world change? Why won't everyone just accept him?

As I compare and contrast this mother's account with my experience raising an autistic son, to an extent I get her angst. It's frustrating to see your kid struggle. On the other hand, I wonder whether this mother takes any responsibility for her kid's predicament.

When my son's behavior causes conflict or confusion, when he offends someone or gets rejected, it never occurs to me to spew indignation toward other parents and their children. It's not on the rest of the world to make my autistic son feel normal. That's not their job. It would be irrational for me to expect people who have no concept of autism to instantly understand it. For them, it is not normal.  ...

A key difference between my situation and this mother's is the nature of the deviance. To a large extent, my kid can't help how he is. He's just wired differently. Many would argue the same of gender-confusion (i.e. transexualism). I don't buy that. Gender is objective. It's not a mood. It's not a feeling. It's genetic, binary, and definite. You're either a boy or a girl, period. Efforts to deny biology aside, the vast majority of the world still recognizes male and female when they see it. Cross-dressing is weird, and you can expect people to react accordingly.

Besides, the fact remains that the world owes us no acceptance. Whether my son's behavior is a product of nature or choice, he's responsible for it. That's a lesson which children should be taught. I struggle to teach it to both my sons, autistic and not.  ...

Excerpted; read the rest here.

[dfwgator]

I don't care what they say. It will always be weird.

[Resp3]

Apples and Oranges.

I fail to see the connection here between an autistic child and a (probably) normal child who has been victimized by a horrible parent.

I've seen many children naturally gravitate towards special needs children. And naturally reject mean or anti-social children.

Kids will be kids. And thank God for that.

[Oceander]

[chae]

When I was a kid, I decided that I was a cat.  My mother did not immediately run out and get me a litter box she told me to get off the floor, and stop being stupid.
Here's my take on kids claiming to be "transgender":  In most cases, there is no father in the picture.  In the rare cases that there is, the father is extremely passive, and displays the stereotypical "female" traits and the mother has the more "dominant" stereotypical male traits.
I also have to wonder, if this kid decided that he was a parapelgic, would mom put him in a wheelchair and then encourage him to amputate his legs?

[mountaineer]

When I was a kid, I decided that I was a cat.  My mother did not immediately run out and get me a litter box she told me to get off the floor, and stop being stupid.

  Yeah, my mother would have told me I was getting my pants dirty, so cut it out!