Some New Year’s Resolutions for Our Progressive Pals
Kurt Schlichter
12/29/2016 12:01:00 AM
The year 2016 was a great one for our progressive friends – except for that whole utter repudiation unpleasantness of last November. Now, as a concerned conservative friend eager to help, let me offer you some New Year's resolutions that will keep you on the path to success. The bottom line: stay the course!
Keep Reaffirming the Racism/Sexism/Homophobia and Other Moral Failings of Everyone Who Doesn't Obey the Rigid Yet Constantly Mutating Laws of Political Correctness: It's vital that you continue, at every turn, to label normal Americans "racists," “sexists” and all the other “-ists” and “-phobes” in your Big Book O’ Liberal Slurs. Remember, concerns about crime are secret dog whistles to the tens of millions of wannabe KKK members lurking out there. Americans actually love being robbed! You know why we pretend we don't like dismembering babies and selling their parts? Because we hate strong women. You caught us! And having people smash airplanes into buildings and open fire at random citizens are just a few of our favorite things. We only blame these acts on the radical Muslims who are actually doing them because of our unreasoning hatred of Muslims. There's no fooling you! If we weren’t such Islamophobes, we’d focus on the bloody death toll from those radical Baptists. So keep it up, and never, ever, pass up an opportunity to tell normal Americans how they fail to meet your exacting standards. With enough abuse, those Trump voters you lost last time will definitely come around and start supporting Democrats again!
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http://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2016/12/29/some-new-years-resolutions-for-our-progressive-pals-n2264089
