Author Topic: Today's Toons 12/12/16  (Read 6331 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 12/12/16
« on: December 12, 2016, 11:21:12 am »
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:
 

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
Donald Trump invited TV cameras to show him enjoying dinner with Mitt Romney Wednesday at a four-star French restaurant in New York. The president-elect dined on garlic soup with thyme and sauteed frog legs. Wait just a minute, Donald Trump's mission is to drain the swamp, not drink it.
 
Donald Trump hosted Mitt Romney at Jean-Georges French restaurant located in the Trump International Hotel. The four-star restaurant offers the finest food in the world. It provided the perfect setting for two billionaires to complain about how out-of-touch Washington is with real people.
 
Fidel Castro's funeral was marred Sunday when the jeep hauling his ashes to his grave broke down and the jeep had to be pushed to the site by Cuban soldiers. It was another socialist triumph. Cubans laughed so hard they wound up regretting that communism had run them out of toilet paper.
 
Democrats circulated a request on social media urging Americans to boycott watching Donald Trump's inauguration. This too shall pass. It might help liberals who think they'll never get over their anger at Donald Trump to remember that two years ago they were just as angry at Chick-Fil-A.
 
Homeland Security heightened its terror alert following the Muslim knife attack at Ohio State last week. Radical Muslims are reported plotting to go on a rampage in downtown Los Angeles, killing anyone who's a U.S. citizen. Police say the death toll may reach as high as nine, maybe even ten.
 
NBC's Andrea Mitchell quoted a Democratic Party pollster Friday who said exit polls showed Hillary came off to voters as a man. It says a lot. Hillary's loss plus the cancellation of My Name Is Cait indicates that America can still stand some improvement in the area of transgender acceptance.
 
The U.S. Navy in Hawaii marks the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor Wednesday by hosting world leaders and international dignitaries for the ceremonies. Japan's Prime Minister announced he is flying to Pearl Harbor today. It was a big surprise, as always.
 
Donald Trump ripped Alec Baldwin's impression of him on Saturday Night Live last weekend calling it not funny, slanted and sad. They're going down fighting. President Obama just signed an executive order declaring Saturday Night Live a safe space for celebrities transitioning to Canada.
 
Donald Trump said Monday he wouldn't need to Tweet so often if the news media would cover him and quote him fairly and honorably. The national media still can't accept they lost to Trump. Every day they wait for UPS to deliver their participation trophy and it's been nothing for three weeks.
 
Donald Trump conducted interviews in Trump Tower Monday which included a long talk with Al Gore. It's the least he could do. Trump has become a superstar on Twitter and Hillary's email scandal might have cost her the election, and Trump wanted to thank Gore for inventing the Internet.
 
Donald Trump took his Thank-You Tour to North Carolina Tuesday. Since the election, Castro died, the Dow Jones hit a record high, Carrier stayed in the U.S., and Kanye canceled his tour. All Trump wants is a statue on the National Mall honoring him as the greatest President-Elect in history.
 
Donald Trump threatened to cancel a deal with Boeing for two Air Force Ones Tuesday, then he persuaded a Japanese banker to invest fifty billion in the U.S. He then flew to Carolina to address a big rally. All day, Trump was picketed by a group of protestors called The Current President Matters.
 
Donald Trump threatened to cancel Boeing's deal to build two Air Force Ones due to the high price tags of the planes Tuesday. He's negotiating. The president-elect is fine with the airplane's anti-missile defense, he's just holding out for an escape pod with Wi-Fi so he can continue Tweeting.
 
Joe Biden was cornered by reporters as the vice president was leaving the Senate Chamber on Monday and they got Joe to admit he's running for president in four years. You can never quite be sure how serious he is. Last weekend Joe Biden lost his train of thought, and there were no survivors.
 
Donald Trump named a third general to his cabinet Wednesday and afterwards he summoned Oklahoma's legendary football coach Barry Switzer up to Trump Tower for a meeting. Saddle up, boys. Donald Trump doesn't just want to defeat ISIS, he wants to beat them by fifty points a game.
 
Michael Moore urged liberals to stage protests against Donald Trump every day he's president Wednesday. The media will be there to help. Time magazine just gave Donald Trump its Person of the Year award and then the editors spent the entire issue explaining how they once give it to Hitler.
 
Donald Trump appointed former World Wrestling Entertainment chief Linda McMahon to be the Director the US. Small Business Administration. The consequences could be hilarious. If you think Trump's tweets were mean and angry in the past, this appointment gives him access to steroids.
 
Donald Trump spoke in North Carolina Monday on the second leg of his Thank-You Tour of Ohio, North Carolina and Iowa. He's touring the key states who put him over the top and he's calling it the Thank-You Tour. Then Trump will go to the West Coast for the You're Dead to Me Tour.
 
Kim Kardashian was reported Tuesday considering a divorce from Kanye West. Hold onto your seats. Forget the U.S. vs. China, if a war breaks out between Donald Trump's tweets and Kim Kardashian's nude selfies over who's going to be the day's trending topic, the Internet could eat itself.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
Donald Trump is still trying to decide who to nominate for secretary of State. He's reportedly considering David Petraeus, Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, John Bolton, and Jon Huntsman. Apparently, Trump is taking them all on a group date tonight, and one of them gets to join him in the fantasy suite.
 
There are reports that Trump will be getting a Goldendoodle puppy when he takes office. To teach it how to beg and roll over, they actually brought in Mitt Romney.
 
-- Jimmy Fallon
 
Donald Trump began his post-election victory tour last week. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton has wandered so far into the woods she found the Blair Witch.
 
Donald Trump reportedly invited the leader of the Philippines to the White House next year despite the fact that he previously told President Barack Obama to go to hell. Obama was like, "Oh, I'm already there. I'm already there."
 
Vice President Joe Biden said yesterday that he may run for office in 2020 telling reporters, "What the hell, man." I don't know how to tell you this, Joe, but we already elected "what-the-hell man."
 
Donald Trump this weekend will give his first Sunday morning news interview since the election, and it's a big sacrifice for him because Sunday morning is usually when he tweets about "Saturday Night Live." 
 
-- Seth Meyers
 
Today, Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, "The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka."
 
Donald Trump is reportedly considering two Democrats for his cabinet. That's right -- and those Democrats are Donald Trump from 1996 and Donald Trump from 2004.
 
Donald Trump said he has asked President Obama to help recommend some of his appointments. Obama said fine, and recommended Hillary Clinton for president.
 
-- Conan
 
Trump's been busy assembling his Cabinet. His nominees are all pretty out there. As of today, the least-controversial person in his Cabinet is a guy named "Mad Dog."
 
-- Jimmy Kimmel
 
 
« Last Edit: December 12, 2016, 11:23:32 am by pookie18 »

Offline Davidfxs

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2016, 11:45:13 am »
Pookie Happy Monday , Thank you for the toons, Have a great day
Liberals are like Slinkies, Good for nothing really. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of Stairs.

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2016, 11:47:50 am »
Pookie Happy Monday , Thank you for the toons, Have a great day

You're welcome & have a great week, David!

Offline Polly Ticks

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2016, 02:45:15 pm »
Good morning, Pookie, and thank you.

Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too. -Yogi Berra

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2016, 02:54:17 pm »
Good morning, Pookie, and thank you.

Mornin' & my pleasure, Polly Ticks!

Offline Smokin Joe

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2016, 03:21:15 pm »
Thanks, pookie!

This one 'gets it':



How God must weep at humans' folly! Stand fast! God knows what he is doing!
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

C S Lewis

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2016, 03:51:04 pm »
Thanks, pookie!

This one 'gets it':



You're welcome, as always, Smokin Joe!

Offline bolobaby

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2016, 04:09:22 pm »
Bwahahahahaha!

"Donald Trump is reportedly considering two Democrats for his cabinet. That's right -- and those Democrats are Donald Trump from 1996 and Donald Trump from 2004."
How to lose credibility while posting:
1. Trump is never wrong.
2. Default to the most puerile emoticon you can find. This is especially useful when you can't win an argument on merits.
3. Be falsely ingratiating, completely but politely dismissive without talking to the points, and bring up Hillary whenever the conversation is really about conservatism.
4. When all else fails, remember rule #1 and #2. Emoticons are like the poor man's tweet!

Offline ricebug

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2016, 07:00:25 pm »
G'day, Pookie!!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2016, 07:04:08 pm »

Offline verga

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2016, 07:39:58 pm »
Nice Job Pookie
I finally got a chance to sit down and read the toons
In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
�More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.�-Woody Allen
If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 12/12/16
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2016, 07:44:30 pm »
Nice Job Pookie
I finally got a chance to sit down and read the toons

Thanks & glad you had some time today, Verga!