By Yours Truly
http://throneberryfields.com/2016/10/22/theres-only-one-real-reason-for-the-cubs-to-lose/My friend and Internet Baseball Writers Association of America patron Howard Cole, writing for Forbes,
has forged a
splendid argument as to how and why the Dodgers are going to sweep National League Championship Series Games
Six and Seven in Wrigley Field this weekend. As is his custom, Mr. Cole deploys faultless logic and analyses from
intellectual strength.
The fact that he is a Dodger fan should not be held against him. If anything, his second paragraph makes clear why
he deserves empathy, not exile. The Dodgers, he observes correctly, are behind in the NLCS “because they have
stumbled around the diamond with the glove, on the bases, because of gut-wrenching meltdowns from the bullpen,
and because they are at minimum one man short in the starting rotation.”
We will give the benefit of the doubt and assert my friend was momentarily unaware that the Cubs are ahead in the
NLCS because they have played the diamond like the blues their home city nurtured, run the bases with catlike grace
and intelligence, and have managed to learn and re-learn how to exploit Dodger mistakes on the mound, in the field,
and at the plate with a cunning the least scrupulous Chicago political operative can only envy.
But there will be one and only one reason why the Cubs should fail to reach the World Series after all that regular
season conquest and all this postseason’s resilience.
Yes, Kyle Hendricks, who faces Clayton Kershaw in Game Six, has had a heavier workload this year then in his previous
few seasons. Yes, Jake Arrieta, who’d face Rich Hill in a Game Seven, had a modest September and October and hitters
this postseason are hitting .273 against him. Yes, Aroldis Chapman was rusty when he appeared in Game Five. And,
no, the Cubs bullpen otherwise doesn’t necessarily strike fear into the heart of an opposing lineup.
All of that is true. And none of it is going to factor as big as you think.
The real reason the Cubs might fail to reach this World Series has already won its American League pennant. Unless,
of course, you think this country, if not Providence itself, really
has the intestines to contend with a World Series between
a team that hasn’t won a World Series since the Roosevelt Administration (Theodore’s) and a team that hasn’t won one
since just prior to the Berlin Airlift.
The Chicago Cubs vs. the Cleveland Indians. The National Anthem would have to be changed from “The Star Spangled
Banner” to “19th Nervous Breakdown.” Harry Caray (long enough time Cubs broadcaster,
beloved atonalist of the seventh
inning stretch) and Herb Score (
ill-fated Indians pitcher turned longtime beloved Indians broadcaster and malaproprietor:
There’s a long drive down the left field line—is it fair? Is it foul? It is!) would have to be on loan from the Elysian Fields.
Clearly it would be a World Series matchup designed to strike fear in the hearts of a nation already gripped by the deep
fear that, wish though we might otherwise,
someone is going to win the concurrent presidential campaign. The contest
between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton might be only slightly less hazardous to the nation’s mental and spiritual health
than a World Series matching the Cubs against the Indians.
The winning pitcher the last time the Cubs won the World Series clincher? Orval Overall, righthander, who won two games
in that Series. The winning pitcher the last time the Indians won the World Series clincher? Bob Lemon, righthander and
Hall of Famer, who also won two games in
that Series. Since 1948, the two teams overall have been lemons, making occasional
lemonade but unable to mix a blue lagoon.
“Democracy,” H.L. Mencken wrote famously enough, “is the theory that the common people know what they want and
deserve to get it, good and hard.” Trump versus Clinton for the presidency validates him, poor us. But when he wrote
those words, the Cubs were still a periodic National League powerhouse and the Indians were in the midst of a 27-year
World Series drought.
But if you don’t count the absurdities in the annual All-Star Game vote, or Bill Veeck’s cheerfully absurd, one-time-only
Grandstand Managers Day (when he owned the St. Louis Browns, and had fans vote in-game on assorted tactical and
strategic moves; perversely, the Browns won that day), baseball is not a democracy. Thank God. Do you really want to
imagine a World Series decided by popular vote? Would you trust the Cubs vs. the Indians to the people who gave us
Trump vs. Clinton?
Cub fans have endured a 108 year rebuilding effort. Indian fans have endured a 71-year rebuilding effort. It’s tempting
for Cub fans to tell Indian fans they can just hurry up and wait. Almost as tempting as it is for Indian fans to tell Cub
fans something would be lost forever if the nation had a now-discontinued saga of Cub calamity.
A Dodger sweep of Games Six and Seven in Wrigley Field would probably spare the nation its 19th nervous breakdown
and a Cub fan the temptation to jump off the nearest bridge with the appropriate weights tied to his or her ankles.
In 2003, the Cubs and the Red Sox got
thatclose to meeting in the World Series. The Red Sox in the long term were
fortunate. They got to smash the weight of their star-crossed, snake-bitten history without the encumbrance of having
to win a World Series against an equally star-crossed, snake-bitten rival.
Don’t the Cubs deserve that much
, at least?? it’s tempting to say.
Now, back to the nation at large. A nation fool enough to present Trump vs. Clinton in a presidential election deserves
nothing less than a World Series between two star-crossed, snake-bitten franchises. And their presence in the Fall Classic,
never mind the triumph of either, will wreak far less mischief than the presidency of either major party aspirant.
So, my apologies to both my friend Howard Cole and to Dodger fans alike. It’s only been a measly 28 years for you lot.
You have a remarkable, resilient team, and the Best Pitcher on Earth to start Game Six. But you’re not going as far as
you think you will this time, either.
The common people know what they want. They deserve to get it. Unless something extraterrestrial breaks out in Wrigley
Field this weekend, oh
boy are they going to get it starting Tuesday next. Good and hard, too.
