http://www.nationalreview.com/node/417127/print With Hillary, Appearances Are Everything
None of her political career makes a hell of a lot of sense if you think about it for three minutes.
By Kevin D. Williamson — April 18, 2015
Every Mystery Machine must have its Velma.
You’ll remember Velma Dinkley, the grim-faced young fogey of the Scooby-Doo gang: turtleneck and knee socks, orange; pleated skirt and pumps, red; spectacle lenses a very groovy shade of aqua; hair in a severe, LPGA-ready bob. She was the thick and bookish counterpoint to the comely Daphne Blake. But the id moves in mysterious ways, and Velma has enjoyed a strange post-1970s career as a minor object of erotic fixation, being portrayed on film by the knockout Linda Cardellini and, in a dramatic illustration of Rule 34, by the pornographic actress Bobbi Starr.
Perhaps that is what sometime sex symbol Hillary Rodham Clinton had in mind when she nicknamed her campaign van “Scooby,” noting its resemblance to the famously psychedelic Saturday-morning ride of Mystery Incorporated. Mrs. Clinton — the Grand Glorified Imperial Herself — is very much a creature of the 1970s, and Scooby-Doo may very well feel fresh in her mind.
De gustibus non disputandum est and all that. Nobody is more mindful of the role that her bodily appearance plays in her public persona than Herself, who has compared her own evolving coiffure to a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger. (Of course she’s pals with Haim Saban, the billionaire owner of that entertainment franchise and many others.) You’ll remember that in 2006, just before Herself’s first, failed presidential campaign, the artist Daniel Edwards unveiled a statue of the former first lady, The Presidential Bust of Hillary Rodham Clinton: The First Woman President of the United States, the generous proportions of which provoked at least 11,487 “bust” puns among the nation’s least ambitious headline writers. The resin casting was displayed at the Museum of Sex in New York. “Her cleavage is on display, prominently portraying sexual power which some people still consider too threatening,” the artist said. Mr. Edwards — whose other notable work of the time was a life-size statue of an enormously pregnant Britney Spears on her hands and knees giving birth on a bearskin rug — said that he was provoked to sex up the junior senator from New York by a comment from Sharon Stone, who proclaimed the Solon of Chappaqua too residually sexy to be elected president and said that those ambitions would have to wait until she was “past her sexuality.” Herself was at the time not yet 60; if she is elected, she will turn 70 her first year in office.
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