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How Parents Create Narcissistic ChildrenWashington PostJust about everybody has one raging narcissist to deal with, sooner or later -- on the job, in social situations or (God forbid) in the home. How did he get this way, we wonder? What was his childhood like?For what appears to be the first time, researchers have taken a stab at that question by following and surveying 565 children ages 7 through 11 and their parents -- 415 mothers and 290 fathers.The results are quite clear: Parents who "overvalue" children during this developmental stage, telling them they are superior to others and entitled to special treatment, are more likely to produce narcissistic children -- who can grow up to become narcissistic adults, unless something is done about it."When children are seen by their parents as being more special and more entitled than other children, they may internalize the view that they are superior individuals, a view that is at the core of narcissism," the researchers wrote in a study released online Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. "But when children are treated by their parents with affection and appreciation, they may internalize the view that they are valuable individuals, a view that is at the core of self-esteem."This seems to make sense intuitively, but as the authors -- Brad Bushman of Ohio State University and Eddie Brummelman, a post-doctoral researcher at Holland's University of Amsterdam and Utrecht University -- point out, this was not the prevailing explanation all along. Psychoanalytic theory suggested that narcissists were the result of parents who showed them too little warmth.So Bushman and Brummelman pitted social learning theory -- the idea that you learn through modeled behavior -- against the psychoanalytic argument and found that, indeed, children learn their narcissism from parents who teach them that they are more than special.The authors also wanted to determine what differentiated narcissists -- who tend to be more aggressive and even violent than other people, and are at higher risk for depression, anxiety and drug addiction -- from people with strong self-esteem. As mentioned above, parents who show their kids warmth and appreciation without promoting the idea that they are superior tend to raise children with solid self-esteem.Previous studies have looked at narcissistic adults, but in 2008, Brummelman said in an interview, reliable testing instruments became available for young children. By the age of 7 or 8, he said, children develop the ability to describe whether they are happy with themselves and are very likely to compare themselves with others. "It's an age when they may be especially sensitive to parental influence," he added.The researchers did note that they couldn't quite come out and show cause and effect. "Of course, parental overvaluation is not the sole origin of narcissism," they wrote. They added: "Like other personality traits, narcissism is moderately heritable and partly rooted in early-emerging temperamental traits. Some children, due to their temperamental traits, might be more likely than others to become narcissistic when exposed to parental overvaluation."Aside from having to deal with someone like this, why should any of us care? Well, narcissism has been on the rise among Western youth in recent decades. ...
Make your kid believe he’s a “special snowflake” and you risk turning him into a narcissistic jerk, according to a new Dutch study. Narcissistic individuals think they’re better than everyone else, live for personal success and expect exceptional treatment, explained the authors of the study that appeared in the latest issue of the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. When narcissists experience failure, they’re not pleasant to be around, sometimes even lashing out violently, the study notes The study evaluated 565 Dutch children ages 7 through 12 for narcissist tendencies such as feelings of superiority and self-satisfaction. The investigators also questioned the children’s parents about how, when and how often they offered praise and other feedback. The kids whose parents consistently told them they were superior to other children, no matter what, scored higher on measurements for narcissism compared to kids who were given a more realistic view of themselves, the investigators found. That’s because over-praising children can lead them to believe they are special people who deserve special treatment all the time, explained Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University and one of the study’s authors. “Parents should be warm and loving, but not give their child blanket praise,” Bushman said. “We should not boost self-esteem and hope our children will behave well. Instead, we should praise our children after they do well.” Dr. Gene Beresin, the executive director of Massachusetts General Hospital’s Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, said he was skeptical about some of the study’s conclusions. “In the first place, parents are just one influence on a child,” he said. “Teachers, peers, siblings and many others influence how a child feels about themselves and how they behave towards others.” Beresin said American children are not necessarily the same as Dutch children. But what concerned him most is the age of the children in the study. “I don’t see how you can label kids this young as narcissistic when it’s generally recognized that such personality traits aren’t fully formed until late adolescence, like around age 18,” he said. Beresin said parents who build a bond of trust with their children by giving them honest feedback mixed with encouragement and support help build a child’s self-esteem and security. Positive feedback, as long as it’s accurate and appropriate, can only help boost a child’s self-worth, he said. But the investigators said their work builds on a body of research that shows parental “overvaluation” leads to narcissism later in life because children tend to see themselves as the important people in their lives see them. The researchers didn’t rule out the effects of other influences like genetics but said previous work shows that cultivating an unreasonably confident view of self is at the core of narcissism.
