Author Topic: military "common sense" rules  (Read 537 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online rangerrebew

  • America defending Veteran
  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 50,323
  • “It’s easier to fool people than to convince them
military "common sense" rules
« on: July 28, 2014, 05:31:55 PM »
StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor

Return to Humor Index
 Military Common Sense Rules
Military Common Sense Rules

A lot of life's problems can be explained by the U.S. Military and its applications of common sense ...

1. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
(Paul Rodriguez)

2. "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
(Army's magazine of preventive maintenance ).

3. "Aim towards the Enemy."
(Instruction printed on US M79 Rocket Launcher)

4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
(U.S. Marine Corps)

5. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
(U.S. Air Force)

6. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
(Infantry Journal)

7. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
(US Air Force Manual)

8. Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
(Gen. MacArthur)

9. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
(Infantry Journal)

10. You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me.
(Marine Gunnery Sergeant)

11. Tracers work both ways.
(US Army Ordnance)

12. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
(Infantry Journal)

13. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
(US Navy Seaman)

14. Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
(David Hackworth)

15. If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.
(Infantry Journal)

16. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
(Joe Gay)

17. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
(Admiral Hornblower)

18. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
(Unknown Marine Recruit)

19. Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
(Your Buddies)

20. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
(Army Platoon Sergeant)

21. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
(David Hackworth)

22. Your job is to kill the other person before they kill you so that your national leaders can negotiate a peace that will last as long as it takes the ink to dry.
(Drill Instructor)

23. In the Navy, the Chief is always right.
(Written on the door into the Chiefs quarters)
America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. Abraham Lincoln

Online EC

  • Shanghaied Editor
  • Member
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17,341
  • Adulthood is like a meal. From the food's PoV.
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2014, 05:35:02 PM »
All true - but 5 totally cracked me up.
The fastest way to a man's heart? Inch to the right of the breastbone, between the fourth and fifth rib.

Avatar thanks to Oceander.

I've got a website now: Smoke and Ink

Online truth_seeker

  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 15,225
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2014, 05:52:04 PM »
I once got good advice while serving in the US Army in Germany:

"Never volunteer for anything, EXCEPT for clerical detail at the out-processing center at Ft. Dix, NJ."

Such exception got you out hours earlier. You helped prepare and organize the paperwork for discharge, and then went to the front of the line!!!

First cab to Philly airport.

Never say never. Know your subject material, don't just on memorizing from others.
#NeverHillary#NeverHillary#NeverHillary#NeverHillary#NeverHillary#NeverHillary#NeverHillary#NeverHillary

Online rangerrebew

  • America defending Veteran
  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 50,323
  • “It’s easier to fool people than to convince them
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2014, 09:21:56 AM »
All true - but 5 totally cracked me up.

Out of total nosiness, which five?
America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. Abraham Lincoln

Online EC

  • Shanghaied Editor
  • Member
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17,341
  • Adulthood is like a meal. From the food's PoV.
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2014, 01:10:12 PM »
3. "Aim towards the Enemy."
(Instruction printed on US M79 Rocket Launcher)

4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
(U.S. Marine Corps)

5. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
(U.S. Air Force)

9. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
(Infantry Journal)

21. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
(David Hackworth)

9 is so damned true. :laugh:
« Last Edit: July 29, 2014, 01:11:50 PM by EC »
The fastest way to a man's heart? Inch to the right of the breastbone, between the fourth and fifth rib.

Avatar thanks to Oceander.

I've got a website now: Smoke and Ink

Online 240B

  • Lord of all things Orange!
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,433
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2014, 01:33:41 PM »
Tell me this Mr. EC, where is the phrase, "find a rock or something" found in the military?
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.

Online EC

  • Shanghaied Editor
  • Member
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17,341
  • Adulthood is like a meal. From the food's PoV.
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2014, 01:45:15 PM »
Not fair pulling different lingo.  :tongue2: But it's from the bible. Collosians  (I can't spell)

Find a rock and hold it in your hand, but your day, but don’t put the rock down. See how long you can last trying to live your life while you hold on to the rock. It makes brushing your teeth or eating your lunch kind of challenging, doesn’t it?


Got to be USMC. They like making shit hard on themselves. Regular grunts would put the damned thing down.
The fastest way to a man's heart? Inch to the right of the breastbone, between the fourth and fifth rib.

Avatar thanks to Oceander.

I've got a website now: Smoke and Ink

Online 240B

  • Lord of all things Orange!
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,433
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2014, 02:18:04 PM »
That's all.
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.

Online 240B

  • Lord of all things Orange!
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,433
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2014, 02:50:34 PM »
MRE.
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.

Online Oceander

  • Technical
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 42,430
  • #NeverTrumpForever
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2014, 02:53:13 PM »
All true - but 5 totally cracked me up.

I liked #6.
Trump does not represent the will of the people.  If we really wanted to respect the decision of "the people," then Clinton would be the president-elect, not Trump, for the simple reason that she won the popular vote.

Online 240B

  • Lord of all things Orange!
  • Hero Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,433
Re: military "common sense" rules
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2014, 02:56:34 PM »
me too.
 
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.


Share me

Digg  Facebook  SlashDot  Delicious  Technorati  Twitter  Google  Yahoo
Smf