Author Topic: Today's Toons 7/28/14  (Read 2544 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 7/28/14
« on: July 28, 2014, 04:14:09 AM »

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:
 

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
In upstate New York, a man was arrested for flying a drone outside the examination room windows of a medical facility where patients were being treated. Which is the closest you'll be able to get to a doctor under Obamacare.
 
20 Hamas rockets were found in a school in Gaza operated by the United Nations. The UN vowed to immediately fix the problem by passing a resolution to tell itself to fix the problem.
 
Josh Earnest said he couldn't say where illegal immigrants were being held because "there are privacy rights" involved. Well, I guess he thought that sounded better than claiming the hard drive with their address crashed.
 
President Obama announced new sanctions against Russia for its involvement in Ukraine. Like what? America will no longer say "please" when we beg for a lift to the International Space Station?
 
President Obama has picked a female, non-pilot general to head the US Air Force in the Pacific. Next up: picking an aquaphobic to lead the Navy.
 
Speaking at a liberal bloggers' convention, Elizabeth Warren outlined her list of "11 commandments of progressivism". Sadly, "make a lick of sense" - not on the list.
 
Democrat Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky said that "comprehensive immigration reform" would "raise the wages" of all workers. Yes ma'am, nothing like cheap labor to raise the cost of labor.
 
A new bill making its way through Congress would promote the commercial mining of asteroids. Hopefully someday the government will allow us to use resources from other objects floating in space. Like Earth.
 
IRS Deputy Associate Chief Counsel Thomas Kane said that more IRS officials experienced computer crashes, bringing the total number of crash victims to "less than 20". Number of times "my hard drive crashed" will fly in an IRS audit: still less than 1.
 
During an interview on PBS, Hillary Clinton said of the downed Malaysian Air jet: "Europeans have to be the ones to take the lead on this." Yes, great plan - let the poodles pull the dogsled.
 
In Greece, NY, an atheist gave the opening "prayer" for the city council meeting. Doesn't that violate the separation of oxymoron and state?
 
Texas Governor Rick Perry plans to deploy 1,000 soldiers from the Texas National Guard to the border. Guess he got tired of Obama's plan to just let the border come to the Guard.
 
A new report shows that the number of full-time journalists on the Capitol beat is down 40 percent since 2003. It's a crisis. In some places, Democrats are having to resort to parroting their own talking points.
 
-- Fred Thompson
 
Israel launched a limited invasion of Gaza Thursday followed by a cease-fire between the two sides. There's talk that U.S. troops may help them with border security. That's when you know the people over there are in trouble, when they start asking our advice on border security.
 
Benjamin Netanyahu's government ordered the Israeli invasion of Gaza after two weeks of air raid missile attacks on Tel Aviv from Gaza by Hamas. The prime minister has been sleeping on the floor of his office with his closest aides. No leader's done that since Bill Clinton.
 
President Obama caught grief for telling jokes to a Delaware crowd after he announced the downed airliner. To his credit as a comedian, he got laughs. Will Rogers announced the sinking of the Titanic at the Ziegfeld Follies and for the rest of the night the jokes just sat there.
 
Israeli forces advanced into Gaza a second day Friday determined to root out the Hamas militants who fired missiles into Israel and tunneled terrorists into the Jewish state. Hamas leaders say they don't recognize Israel. Of course they don't recognize it, they keep blowing it up.
 
The White House bought a Texas resort for illegal kids with money from the ACA's tax on tanning salon sessions. It's the Dream Act provision. Leave it to Obama to subsidize brown people who want to become Americans by taxing Americans who want to become brown people.
 
President Obama canceled going on Jimmy Kimmel after he was ripped for being casual during world crises in Ukraine and Gaza. He knows the rules of his chosen field. Whenever there's death and destruction you have to wait three days after it's over before you joke about it.
 
The White House took heat for President Obama's inaction in foreign crises Tuesday. His advisors figured a way to galvanize him into action. They told him next weekend he'll be golfing in Ukraine then do a talk show in Gaza, and that Vladimir Putin just joined the Tea Party.
 
The White House defended the president's fundraising trip following war in Gaza and an airliner shootdown. They said that changing his schedule could alarm the nation and trigger a false sense of crisis. Last week there was a stock market slide when he played the back nine first.
 
President Obama was reported Tuesday planning to buy a house in Rancho Mirage next year. It's a bad idea. The house is in a gated community and the last thing you want Vladimir Putin to have is an opportunity to say that America's first black president wound up behind bars.
 
The New York Post reported that Bill Clinton is cheating on Hillary Clinton with a blonde in Chappaqua. It was ever thus. In a recent interview, Hillary revealed the first time that Bill proposed, she refused. The reason was, he didn't propose marriage, he proposed a threesome.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
President Obama was giving an interview recently, and get this, he said he thought that Joe Biden would be a good president. When asked why, he was like, "Because he'd make me look AMAZING."
 
-- Jimmy Fallon
 
In a recent interview, President Obama said Joe Biden "would be a superb president." In a related story, Hillary Clinton punched a hole in a door.
 
A judge wrote an opinion today in favor of Obamacare, saying that getting healthcare from the state or federal government is the same as ordering from Pizza Hut vs. Domino's. I’m not sure I agree. THEIR websites always worked.
 
Today, Secretary of State John Kerry traveled to Egypt and had to pass through a metal detector before he could meet with officials. Which is ridiculous. Everyone knows he's made of wood.
 
-- Seth Meyers
 
Food for thought: Would you ever (realistically) walk up to your boss and tell him to sit down, shut his mouth, and listen to you because you know what's best for him?  Okay, now why are we letting the government get away with doing this to us?
 
-- Sierra Marlee
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
Bob: “Hey Jim, did you hear about the Obama administration scandal?”   
Jim: “You mean releasing 5 dangerous terrorists for an Army deserter?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean corruption and terrible conditions at the VA?”   
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean outing the CIA station chief in Afghanistan?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean the Mexican gun running?”
Bob: “No, the other one.” 
 
Jim: “You mean SEAL Team 6?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”   
 
Jim: “Obama saying the avg. family would save $2,500 on their health insurance premiums?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Obama saying you can keep your insurance?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Obama having NSA spy on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month?”   
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Obama intentionally ignoring our immigration laws?”     
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Bailing out Detroit after decades of corrupt Democratic management?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean the State Dept. lying about Benghazi?”
Bob: “No, the other one.” 
 
Jim: “You mean SEAL Team 6?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”   
 
Jim: “You mean voter fraud?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean the military not getting their votes counted?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “The NSA monitoring foreign diplomats?”     
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean the use of drones in our own country without the benefit of the law?” 
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million and right after it declared bankruptcy and was sold to the Chinese?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean the president arming the Muslim Brotherhood?”
Bob: “No, the other one.” 
 
Jim: “The IRS targeting conservatives?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”   
 
Jim: “You mean voter fraud?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “The DOJ spying on the press?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Sebelius shaking down health insurance executives?” 
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean Obama spending $3.7 Trillion on Welfare Over Last 5 Years”
Bob: “No, the other one.”   
 
Jim: “Giving SOLYNDRA $500 MILLION DOLLARS and 3 months later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything else?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Millions of Americans losing their health care coverage?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Forcing Americans to include coverage in their insurance policies of items they do not want?” 
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “The president’s ordering the release of nearly 10,000 illegal immigrants from jails and prisons, and falsely blaming the sequester?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “The president’s threat to impose gun control by Executive Order in order to bypass Congress?”
Bob: “No, the other one.” 
 
Jim: “Providing weapons to Syrian rebels many of whom apparently are Al Qaeda?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”   
 
Jim: “The 2012 vote where 115% of all registered voters in some counties voted 100% for Obama?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “The president’s unconstitutional recess appointments in an attempt to circumvent the Senate’s advise-and-consent role?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “The State Department interfering with an Inspector General investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?” 
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “Clinton, the IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”   
 
Jim: “The President using nearly $1 trillion dollars of stimulus money to fund his cronies?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “You mean Fast & Furious?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
 
Jim: “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I got it! You mean that 65 million low-information voters who don’t pay taxes and get free stuff from taxpayers and stuck us again with the most pandering, corrupt administration in American history?” 
Bob: “THAT’S THE ONE!” 
 
 
 

Offline Sarge

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Re: Today's Toons 7/28/14
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2014, 04:51:33 AM »
Thanks Pookie!
RIP Chopper 5-7-13 to 1-19-16

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/28/14
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2014, 04:55:28 AM »
Thanks Pookie!

You're welcome, Sarge!

Offline Davidfxs

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Re: Today's Toons 7/28/14
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2014, 06:43:32 AM »
Thank  you Pookie
Liberals are like Slinkies, Good for nothing really. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of Stairs.

Offline WAYNE

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Re: Today's Toons 7/28/14
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2014, 09:10:56 AM »
Good ones . Thanks pookie.

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/28/14
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2014, 10:29:29 AM »
Thank  you Pookie

My pleasure, David!

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/28/14
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2014, 10:30:10 AM »
Good ones . Thanks pookie.

You're welcome, as always, WAYNE!


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