Author Topic: Today's Toons 6/30/14  (Read 4816 times)

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Online pookie18

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Today's Toons 6/30/14
« on: June 30, 2014, 08:06:00 am »

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:

 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
An Illinois high school student was expelled for trading his ADD meds for a bag of Cheez-Its. Why? Did he nibble them into the shape of tiny guns?
 
-- Fred Thompson
 
President Obama signaled Thursday that the United States wants the Iraq parliament to get rid of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. You know how it is. Nouri al-Maliki's mistress tape recorded him asking her not to invite any black guys to the fall of Baghdad, and now he must go.
 
President Obama addressed reporters Thursday to announce he will not send U.S. combat troops into Iraq to help government Shiite troops and he won't order U.S. warplanes to attack the Sunni army. He sincerely hates war. People keep declaring it in the middle of his backswing.
 
The IRS said IRS official Lois Lerner's e-mails about targeting conservatives in the 2012 election can't be found. They said two years of Lois's e-mails were lost because her computer crashed. It crashed when President Obama threw it out of Air Force One at thirty thousand feet.
 
The IRS chief said its back-up server that stored Lois Lerner's e-mails was destroyed and recycled. Now her e-mails with the White House can't be retrieved. The GOP just offered Ed Snowden immunity from prosecution and his Hawaiian girlfriend back if he'll send them his copy.
 
Kim Jung Un denounced the movie comedy The Interview starring Seth Rogan and James Franco about two hapless guys who try to assassinate Kim. It's been an angry month for the dictator. He just got satellite TV and figured out that Dennis Rodman wasn't President Obama.
 
John Kerry flew to Baghdad and reprimanded the Iraqi government for losing control of its borders. Insurgents are pouring into Iraq and taking over cities. We'd send troops and planes but they're busy transporting the Guatemalan children pouring across our own borders.
 
President Obama told the Iraqis they're on their own as ISIS forces neared Baghdad this week. The situation is dire. No one wants to say the U.S. position is fluid, but U.S. negotiators in Geneva just asked Iran if they wouldn't mind speeding up their nuclear weapons program.
 
Homeland Security was hauled before Congress Tuesday where Republicans accused the administration of allowing illegal alien children to pour into the U.S. It's bad. The upside is, we are going to have a great World Cup team ten years after we become a Third World country.
 
Hillary Clinton got into political trouble with Democrats for babbling about her millions Monday but her husband came to the rescue. The next day, Queen Elizabeth paid a visit to the set of HBO's Game of Thrones in Belfast, thrilling the cast, but she politely refused their offer to sit on the throne. Bill forced Hillary to watch the tape until every move became second nature.
 
Hillary Clinton accepted a huge gig at the University of Nevada Las Vegas in October. It's the same campus where Obama spoke last year. Washington D.C. politicians are restricted to the UNLV campus because anybody who is eighteen trillion in debt is not allowed in the casinos.
 
Bill Clinton told NBC News Tuesday that he and Hillary get to meet ordinary people every weekend when they go grocery shopping. It's always an adventure. Three times last month, the produce manager has to remind Bill to put on his glasses if he's going to squeeze the melons.
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
President Obama said he wants his daughters to work minimum wage jobs because it builds character. The president then announced he will be raising the minimum wage to $50 an hour.
 
Yesterday Michelle Obama said she wants Americans to elect a woman president "as soon as possible." So even she has had enough of President Obama.
 
-- Conan
 
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Attention Hillary Clinton: moral bankruptcy does not qualify as "being dead broke."
 
I own a business and I frequently interview people when I'm hiring. One of the questions I ask when I interview is, "Do you think Obama is doing a good job?" If they say "yes" I won't hire them, because obviously they have no idea what it means to do a good job.
 
Hillary Clinton reading a Bible is like an Amish guy reading an auto repair manual.
 
The National Association Of Pedophiles And Child Molesters is planning a ceremony to honor President Obama for bringing thousands of unsupervised Latino children into the country.
 
-- Dixon Diaz
 
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U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas... 
 
The Captain gets on the loudspeaker and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed? 
 
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."
 
The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter. When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loudspeaker and asks, "Just the four of you?"   
 
The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "We're the last four. The other 22 million are already there!"
 
 
 

(Thank you, Cyber Ninja)

Offline niobe527

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Re: Today's Toons 6/30/14
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2014, 03:01:50 pm »
good morning pookie

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 6/30/14
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2014, 03:05:43 pm »
good morning pookie

Mornin', niobe!