Author Topic: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW  (Read 412 times)

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An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« on: February 01, 2014, 06:46:20 PM »
http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/an-open-letter-from-dylan-farrow/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

February 1, 2014, 3:04 pm
An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow
By DYLAN FARROW


Dylan Farrow

(A note from Nicholas Kristof: In 1993, accusations that Woody Allen had abused his adoptive daughter, Dylan Farrow, filled the headlines, part of a sensational story about the celebrity split between Allen and his girlfriend, Mia Farrow. This is a case that has been written about endlessly, but this is the first time that Dylan Farrow herself has written about it in public. It’s important to note that Woody Allen was never prosecuted in this case and has consistently denied wrongdoing; he deserves the presumption of innocence. So why publish an account of an old case on my blog? Partly because the Golden Globe lifetime achievement award to Allen ignited a debate about the propriety of the award. Partly because the root issue here isn’t celebrity but sex abuse. And partly because countless people on all sides have written passionately about these events, but we haven’t fully heard from the young woman who was at the heart of them. I’ve written a column about this, but it’s time for the world to hear Dylan’s story in her own words.)

What’s your favorite Woody Allen movie? Before you answer, you should know: when I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother’s electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that we’d go to Paris and I’d be a star in his movies. I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains.

For as long as I could remember, my father had been doing things to me that I didn’t like. I didn’t like how often he would take me away from my mom, siblings and friends to be alone with him. I didn’t like it when he would stick his thumb in my mouth. I didn’t like it when I had to get in bed with him under the sheets when he was in his underwear. I didn’t like it when he would place his head in my naked lap and breathe in and breathe out. I would hide under beds or lock myself in the bathroom to avoid these encounters, but he always found me. These things happened so often, so routinely, so skillfully hidden from a mother that would have protected me had she known, that I thought it was normal. I thought this was how fathers doted on their daughters. But what he did to me in the attic felt different. I couldn’t keep the secret anymore.

When I asked my mother if her dad did to her what Woody Allen did to me, I honestly did not know the answer. I also didn’t know the firestorm it would trigger. I didn’t know that my father would use his sexual relationship with my sister to cover up the abuse he inflicted on me. I didn’t know that he would accuse my mother of planting the abuse in my head and call her a liar for defending me. I didn’t know that I would be made to recount my story over and over again, to doctor after doctor, pushed to see if I’d admit I was lying as part of a legal battle I couldn’t possibly understand. At one point, my mother sat me down and told me that I wouldn’t be in trouble if I was lying – that I could take it all back. I couldn’t. It was all true. But sexual abuse claims against the powerful stall more easily. There were experts willing attack my credibility. There were doctors willing to gaslight an abused child.

After a custody hearing denied my father visitation rights, my mother declined to pursue criminal charges, despite findings of probable cause by the State of Connecticut – due to, in the words of the prosecutor, the fragility of the “child victim.” Woody Allen was never convicted of any crime. That he got away with what he did to me haunted me as I grew up. I was stricken with guilt that I had allowed him to be near other little girls. I was terrified of being touched by men. I developed an eating disorder. I began cutting myself. That torment was made worse by Hollywood. All but a precious few (my heroes) turned a blind eye. Most found it easier to accept the ambiguity, to say, “who can say what happened,” to pretend that nothing was wrong. Actors praised him at awards shows. Networks put him on TV. Critics put him in magazines. Each time I saw my abuser’s face – on a poster, on a t-shirt, on television – I could only hide my panic until I found a place to be alone and fall apart.

Last week, Woody Allen was nominated for his latest Oscar. But this time, I refuse to fall apart. For so long, Woody Allen’s acceptance silenced me. It felt like a personal rebuke, like the awards and accolades were a way to tell me to shut up and go away. But the survivors of sexual abuse who have reached out to me – to support me and to share their fears of coming forward, of being called a liar, of being told their memories aren’t their memories – have given me a reason to not be silent, if only so others know that they don’t have to be silent either.

Today, I consider myself lucky. I am happily married. I have the support of my amazing brothers and sisters. I have a mother who found within herself a well of fortitude that saved us from the chaos a predator brought into our home.

But others are still scared, vulnerable, and struggling for the courage to tell the truth. The message that Hollywood sends matters for them.

What if it had been your child, Cate Blanchett? Louis CK? Alec Baldwin? What if it had been you, Emma Stone? Or you, Scarlett Johansson? You knew me when I was a little girl, Diane Keaton. Have you forgotten me?

Woody Allen is a living testament to the way our society fails the survivors of sexual assault and abuse.

So imagine your seven-year-old daughter being led into an attic by Woody Allen. Imagine she spends a lifetime stricken with nausea at the mention of his name. Imagine a world that celebrates her tormenter.

Are you imagining that? Now, what’s your favorite Woody Allen movie?

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Offline Rapunzel

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2014, 06:49:53 PM »
IMO they should have prosecuted him.
“The time is now near at hand which must probably determine, whether Americans are to be, Freemen, or Slaves.” G Washington July 2, 1776

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2014, 07:22:51 PM »
IMO they should have prosecuted him.
I think they're all nuts:   my mother declined to pursue criminal charges, despite findings of probable cause by the State of Connecticut

Edit to add: I find it interesting that some of the children have seen fit to change their names and/or to sever - and then renew - ties with Allen. Just sayin' - there are some confused people in this story.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2014, 08:07:46 PM by mountaineer »
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Offline Rapunzel

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2014, 07:24:51 PM »
I think they're all nuts:   my mother declined to pursue criminal charges, despite findings of probable cause by the State of Connecticut

Mia Farrow is nuttier than a fruitcake.  Always has been.
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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2014, 07:29:42 PM »
I wouldn't have pursued criminal charges either..I would have killed him myself.

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2014, 08:03:05 PM »
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/02/01/read-this-extremely-disturbing-open-letter-and-you-may-never-look-at-this-hollywood-legend-the-same-way-again/
READ THIS EXTREMELY DISTURBING OPEN LETTER AND YOU MAY NEVER LOOK AT FAMOUS HOLLYWOOD LEGEND THE SAME WAY AGAIN

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2014, 08:03:11 PM »
Mia’s allegations of molestation automatically triggered a criminal investigation by the Connecticut State Police, who brought in an investigative team from the Yale-New Haven Hospital, whose six-month long inquiry (which included medical examinations) concluded that Dylan had not been molested.

Oh. Never mind.    :pondering:
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Offline Chieftain

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2014, 09:48:29 PM »
I wouldn't have pursued criminal charges either..I would have killed him myself.

And feed his skinny ass to the coyotes.  They eat the bones too, and there would be nothing left to find.


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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2014, 10:52:24 PM »
And feed his skinny ass to the coyotes.  They eat the bones too, and there would be nothing left to find.

Kind of makes you wish the Hollywood of today was still controlled by the mob (real mob, not 'gangstas') instead of a bunch of liberal hippies. If this was the 20s or 30s, Allen would have had an 'accident' if this came out.

Offline massadvj

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2014, 11:05:02 PM »
I don't really know whether Allen is a child molester.  I do know that he is a fine filmmaker who has never been prosecuted for any crimes, and I like most of his movies.  I think it is a shame that the Farrow family finds it so necessary to trash his legacy, and I think their actions of late say more about them than they do about Allen.
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Offline happyg

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #11 on: February 01, 2014, 11:16:16 PM »
I remember reading about this way back when it happened. I distinctly remember his now wife was a minor when the affair started, though the author didn't address that. He only wrote about how old she was when they married.

I recall he was a clean freak and paranoid, doing weird things to make sure everything was sterile. He moved to his own apartment because of that.

I don't know the truth, and don't care. I never liked his movies, and think he is a lousy actor. I never got the fascination with him, but then, that's Hollweird.

Mia was always goofy, and didn't have a lick of sense. She was a poor actress. Rosemary's Baby was a good movie, but would have been better with another actress. I thought so at the time. Both are strange people, and I wouldn't want to be around either of them.

Offline olde north church

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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2014, 08:18:39 AM »
Mia's "head noises" do play a significant part in the case.  The whole crowd deserves each other.  If the girl was molested she should seek help, real help and damn quickly.
If she was not molested and this is part of her mother's screwy reality, she does all victims of abuse a great disservice.
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Re: An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow By DYLAN FARROW
« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2014, 02:11:02 PM »
Mia's "head noises" do play a significant part in the case.  The whole crowd deserves each other.  If the girl was molested she should seek help, real help and damn quickly.
If she was not molested and this is part of her mother's screwy reality, she does all victims of abuse a great disservice.
I quite agree. There are some really mixed up people in this family (namely, all of them) and it's hard to know what to believe.
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