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Author Topic: Government opening free gas stations in poor neighborhoods [Satire]  (Read 241 times)

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Offline rangerrebew

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Government Opening Free Gas Stations in Poor Neighborhoods

Oct 29, 2013

First 'Obamastation' Debuts in Detroit, Seventy Planned Nationwide

As the battle over Obamacare rages in Washington, the White House is quietly using a little known provision of the law to roll out a nationwide network of free gas stations for minorities and the poor.

According to a report in The Detroit News this morning, the administration is using its authority under the Affordable Care Act to "improve transportation routes to hospitals" to dispense gasoline free of cost in disadvantaged neighborhoods.

The $2 billion-a-year program aims to distribute 40 million gallons of free gasoline each year through 70 new gas stations constructed in major metropolitan areas. The Department of Health and Human Services (DHS) will be responsible for operating the network, whose first station opened yesterday in Detroit.

"It's not something we're publicizing very much, for obvious reasons," explains Dori Salcido, assistant DHS secretary for public affairs. "But under the law we are well within our rights to offer this service, and we think it's good public policy.

"How are people supposed to get to the doctor's office if they don't have gas in their cars? Health insurance is worthless if you can't make your appointment. This is just another fine example of government stepping in and solving big problems."




Although some developing oil-rich nations like Venezuela and Indonesia subsidize gasoline for the poor, the practice has never before been tried in the United States. The plans are proving controversial with some taxpayers who are loathe to see their money go to subsidize others.

"So basically I'm being punished for not living in the ghetto," says Colin Blair, a white person from the affluent Detroit suburb of Farmington Hills. "I have three kids and a mortgage. Life isn't cheap for me either. I could use some free gasoline too."

An investigation into the station's operations, however, reveals that Blair is unlikely to be able to use the service.

"Supposedly access to the station is determined by income," says Ebony Jackson, manager of the first Obamastation. "But it's pretty unrealistic to do an income check on each and every driver. So what we do is basically let all the black people pump for free, and charge all the white people the market rate."

The Obamastations scandal was uncovered by Nolan Finley , a conservative Detroit News columnist widely lauded for his groundbreaking exposé on Obamaphones. Finley says the blatant racial bias in the program is only one of its many outrageous aspects.

"The stations have Obama campaign logo on them and giant photos of the president," he explains. "He's trying to buy votes ahead of the midterm elections. This is something you normally only see in third world countries. I've never been more scared for our democracy."


http://dailycurrant.com/2013/10/29/government-opening-free-gas-stations-in-poor-neighborhoods/
« Last Edit: December 14, 2013, 04:28:32 PM by Atomic Cow »
No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.    P J ORourke   

(Especially politicians)

Online AbaraXas

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Re: Government opening free has stations in poor neighborhoods
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2013, 04:07:58 PM »
Before anyone gets too angry, this one has been going around for a while. The source is the Daily Currant which is a satire site.
A Freemason would be just if there were no laws, human or divine except those written in his heart by the finger of his Creator. In every climate, under every system of religion, he is the same. He kneels before the Universal Throne of God in gratitude for the blessings he has received and humble solicitation for his future protection.

Offline flowers

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Re: Government opening free has stations in poor neighborhoods
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2013, 04:08:53 PM »
I was going to ask if this is a joke...thank goodness it is
"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him; better take a closer look at the American Indian."

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Offline rangerrebew

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Re: Government opening free has stations in poor neighborhoods
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2013, 04:13:38 PM »
Before anyone gets too angry, this one has been going around for a while. The source is the Daily Currant which is a satire site.

Thanks for setting the record right!
No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.    P J ORourke   

(Especially politicians)

Offline Atomic Cow

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Re: Government opening free gas stations in poor neighborhoods [Satire]
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2013, 04:29:04 PM »
I've added [Satire] to the title so as to avoid confusion.
"...And these atomic bombs which science burst upon the world that night were strange, even to the men who used them."  H. G. Wells, The World Set Free, 1914

"The one pervading evil of democracy is the tyranny of the majority, or rather of that party, not always the majority, that succeeds, by force or fraud, in carrying elections." -Lord Acton


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