Receptionist: Hello, Welcome to Obama Flowers. My name is Trina. How can I help you?
Customer: Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and that I have to go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working, so I am calling the 800 number.
Receptionist: Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.
Customer: Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.
Receptionist interrupting: Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
Customer: But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets". I have done it for years, my wife likes them.
Receptionist: Roses are better, sir, Obama says so; I am sure your wife will love them.
Customer: Well, how much are they?
Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.
Customer: What's the difference?
Receptionist: 6, 12, 18 or 24 Red Roses.
Customer: The Silver package may be OK, how much is it?
Receptionist: It depends, sir, what is your monthly income?
Customer: What does that have to do with anything ??
Receptionist: I need that to determine if you qualify for a government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our Flower Aid department.
Customer: Flower Aid?
Receptionist: Yes, Flowers are a ‘Right’, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
Customer: Who said they were a Right ??
Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it, and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.
Customer: Whoa.....I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.
Receptionist: It is not really a ‘Right’ in the Constitution, but Obama Flowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a "Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we still feel it is a Right.
Customer: I don't believe this...
Receptionist: It's the law of the land, sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is your monthly income sir?
Customer: Forget it; I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
Customer: Why?
Receptionist: To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.
Customer: WHAT? You can't charge me for NOT buying flowers !!!
Receptionist: It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.
Customer interrupting: This is ridiculous; I'll pay the $9.50.
Receptionist: Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?!? What a rip-off !!
Receptionist: Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
Customer: Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.
Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir, that's why we had the NSA track this call and obtain your name, address, date of birth, and the make and model of the cell phone you are using.
Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
Receptionist: We want to know everything about you; no one is entitled to privacy anymore, sir. That’s how Mr Obama wants it, he wants the government to control everything.
( Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door... )
Receptionist: That would be the IRS, sir. Thanks for calling Obama Flowers, have a nice day, and God Bless America .
