Check off another sign of the apocalypse, as Miley Cyrus twerks her way towards becoming TIME’s 2013 Person of the Year, with only three more days left to vote.
The tongue-wagging self-objectified pop star leads the pack with 20.2% of the vote totals, followed remarkably by Egyptian Defense Minister Abdel el-Sisi at 18.6% and Turkish Prime Minister Erdoğan with 18.3%.
No really – the guy who took over from the Muslim Brotherhood in a major Middle Eastern country, the guy who presides over a strategic U.S. ally in the region, both of which have accused of acting despotically towards political protesters, are taking a backseat to twerky Cyrus.
Is this what we have to look forward to?
Thanks, Barack Obama!
There have been quite a few “glitches” with TIME’s voting apparatus, but they assure that the results are accurate. For instance, at one point the Syrian Electronic Army actually seized control of the TIME twitter account, but was quickly kicked off, and couldn’t skew voting results towards their favorited accused war criminal, Bashar al-Assad.
Two Miley Cyrus fans who are programmers claim to have subverted the voting process, but TIME says they were unsuccessful and her lead is actually authentic. Of course, Miley is terribly excited about the prospect of receiving the honor:
Miley Cyrus #TIMEPOY
It would be uhhhhmazig to be #timepoy smilerzzzz lets see if we can make it happennnnn
So there you have it America, if you look outside and the moon has turned blood red, and you see Miley rubbing her butt to the crotch of someone dressed like death riding a pale horse, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
Luckily, in years past, the TIME editorial board has ignored the results, owing to voter fraud (since they don’t have racist voter ID!), so let’s hope this saves us once again from the horrid choice of the common rabble.
Just to be safe, feel free to put off the end of days by voting “Soopermexican” instead.
http://www.ijreview.com/2013/12/98668-guess-whos-twerked-way-top-time-person-year-poll/
