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Offline mystery-ak

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« on: November 25, 2013, 12:22:10 PM »

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Online jmyrlefuller

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« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2013, 12:34:35 PM »
"A deficit is what you've got when you haven't got as much as if you just had nothing. If we tried any of this, we'd end up in jail, but the government gets rid of its debts by nationalizing them. That's like the alcoholic who solved his problem by pouring the booze in all of his bottles into one big container. Himself." (Charlie Farquharson, edited for spelling)

Offline olde north church

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« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2013, 12:50:38 PM »
Speaking of Jerry Lewis, I remember reading one time about how he believed women could not be funny, and that the current crop was no exception.

While I think that might be an exaggeration on Lewis's part (they can be funny, perhaps in a different way), he has a point. Very few modern female comedians are funny. So much of it is shock and filth. It's as if everyone is trying to be the next Mrs. Lenny Bruce.

Jerry is correct.  No female related adjective or noun should ever be in the same sentence as "comedian".
Why?  Well, because I'm a bastard, that's why.

Offline mountaineer

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« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2013, 01:03:39 PM »
I don't know, I've always kind of liked Rita Rudner:

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

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