Author Topic: If You Are a Gamer, You Are a Conservative  (Read 2436 times)

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Offline EC

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If You Are a Gamer, You Are a Conservative
« on: November 16, 2013, 11:11:23 AM »
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By EC.

Hi there. Gaming is fun, right? Take your down time to blow up enemies, complete complex logic puzzles and bask in the interactive creativity talented people have brought to your room. Or to just waste a few minutes in a boring meeting. Some games are things of cinematographic beauty. Others are more a matter of reflexes, hand/eye coordination and memory.

Games are good. Good art, in many cases, as immersive as a novel or a really fine movie. No sane person could ever argue that. They are also programming you to be conservative, so, if you are a 20 something step away from the controller and run, don't walk, into the light of day.

Take Farmville. It's a crappy time-waster of a game with terrible graphics, designed to annoy your Facebook friends and gently milk your wallet without you noticing. So why play it at all? Yet you do. You can't help it. You planted those crops, you have to care for them and harvest them before they wither and die. You are responsible for them. Without them, you can't get that new pink barn you have been wanting for so long. You are reluctant to pry open your wallet and just pay for the thing, so you plan ahead, budget carefully and feel a sense of triumph when you can finally hit "buy." A bit conservative of you, isn't that? Most browser games follow the same pattern.

How about World of Warcraft? People still play that, right? Mindlessly repetitive gold farming in order to do the fun things you want to do. It's a better simulation of the real world than the SIMS. How on Earth can that have a conservative message?
Two words. Leveling up. You hit a new level, your character is bathed in a burst of light, beams coming out of his ass. Your hard work has been rewarded! Congratulations! If life did that it would be totally amazing, though driving would become much more dangerous. Life already does that. OK, not the whole lights thing, but hard work pays off. When you master a skill, you feel on top of the world, like you could move mountains with your bare hands (Note: mountain moving is not an unlockable achievement in real life. Do not attempt it).

The GTA franchise teaches another valuable lesson. No, it isn't "Don't get caught," though that is an important life lesson in general. It is "Actions have consequences." Ramp a tank off a bridge? Just watch your cash shrink as you leave the hospital. It is faster than your ego shrinks when the hot girl you have a crush on turns you down with a laugh . (Unsure about GTA V - I heard they changed the game mechanics, not played it as yet)

Which brings us to Resident Evil. Pick your flavor, they are all pretty much Doom clones anyway, with one exception. The bloody escort missions. Navigating a map with a totally helpless idiot who wanders in front of you while you are shooting, haplessly charges a group of zombies instead of running away and has no concept of the idea of "just stand still." Could have picked any game with an escort mission or AI controlled team-mates, but RE is the one I know best. Sure, it reinforces the message that co-operation is good, it also reinforces the message that other people are total idiots. You are on your own.

Finally, for this short piece, the one game everyone has and everyone has played. Solitaire. How the hell can Solitaire have a conservative message? It's a freaking card game!! How often do you win? Not that often. Reshuffle and try again.


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Offline massadvj

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Re: If You Are a Gamer, You Are a Conservative
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2013, 11:39:47 AM »
I don't know about the rest of it, but the part about beams coming out of my ass definitely got my attention.  I've been a conservative for some 30 years or so, and so far not one beam has come out of my ass.  Maybe it'll happen in year 31.  I can dream, can't I?

Still, promising video gamers that beams will come out of their asses is nowhere near as bad as promising them they can keep their healthcare.
"She only coughs when she lies."

Offline EC

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Re: If You Are a Gamer, You Are a Conservative
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2013, 02:53:56 PM »
I don't know about the rest of it, but the part about beams coming out of my ass definitely got my attention.  I've been a conservative for some 30 years or so, and so far not one beam has come out of my ass.  Maybe it'll happen in year 31.  I can dream, can't I?

Still, promising video gamers that beams will come out of their asses is nowhere near as bad as promising them they can keep their healthcare.

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Offline AbaraXas

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Re: If You Are a Gamer, You Are a Conservative
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2013, 03:08:34 PM »
I was going to post something the other day that completely annoyed the hell out of me.

Thursday nigh when all the kids were camped out for the new PS4, I was watching their photos and comments on Facebook.  One struck me. It is a young mother of three kids with a husband on disability (for what I have no clue as they seem healthy and able to work- but that's another story). They are always posting on Facebook about their hardships, always looking for who can help them with finding a specific doctor who takes Medicaid, always looking for advice on things like heating their house when their gas was turned off. They are also major proponents of Obamacare and in her Facebook political affiliation, she wrote "I'm an Obama Mamma".

So what does this poor soul who has trouble heating her house and finding a doctor for her kids who takes Medicaid do? They camp out all night in front of Wal Mart and purchase not one but two PS4s and who knows how many games. They then proceed to brag about it on Facebook posting photos saying how they got them before they were sold out.



I look forward to her next post trashing the 'greedy tea party' for opposing Obamacare.
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Offline flowers

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Re: If You Are a Gamer, You Are a Conservative
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2013, 03:32:19 PM »
I was going to post something the other day that completely annoyed the hell out of me.

Thursday nigh when all the kids were camped out for the new PS4, I was watching their photos and comments on Facebook.  One struck me. It is a young mother of three kids with a husband on disability (for what I have no clue as they seem healthy and able to work- but that's another story). They are always posting on Facebook about their hardships, always looking for who can help them with finding a specific doctor who takes Medicaid, always looking for advice on things like heating their house when their gas was turned off. They are also major proponents of Obamacare and in her Facebook political affiliation, she wrote "I'm an Obama Mamma".

So what does this poor soul who has trouble heating her house and finding a doctor for her kids who takes Medicaid do? They camp out all night in front of Wal Mart and purchase not one but two PS4s and who knows how many games. They then proceed to brag about it on Facebook posting photos saying how they got them before they were sold out.



I look forward to her next post trashing the 'greedy tea party' for opposing Obamacare.
this new PS4 is mostly for playing games on the net with other people right? so you have to include the cost of the internet as well as the PS4 cost.


Offline EC

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Re: If You Are a Gamer, You Are a Conservative
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2013, 03:37:04 PM »
this new PS4 is mostly for playing games on the net with other people right? so you have to include the cost of the internet as well as the PS4 cost.

It's mostly for expressing your First Amendment rights to use racist, sexist and homophobic slurs against anyone you happen to be playing with.
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Offline Once-Ler

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Re: If You Are a Gamer, You Are a Conservative
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2013, 05:08:47 PM »
Minecraft - Start by chopping down trees with your bare hands.  Build tools, a farm and a house.  Play with lava, fish, and if you run out of food put all your stuff in a chest, kill yourself and be reborn.  If you put a pumpkin on your head monsters can't see you.  If lighting hits a pig it turns into a zombie pigman.  Fight the Ender Dragon and win an egg.  OK it kind of veers off from reality, but the building tools and a house are kind of conservative.
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