The Matt Walsh Blog
I must make a confession.
I was wrong.
I admit it. I am guilty.
I’ve written about Obamacare a few times. Selfishly, shortsightedly — like the partisan propagandist that I am — all I’ve done is concentrate on the NEGATIVE stories and the BAD things about Obamacare. Duped, I suppose, by Fox News and the Koch Brothers, I only thought about the millions of people who are facing skyrocketing premiums, canceled insurance plans, and loss of employment as a direct result of Obama’s health care legislation. I even went so far as to give these people a platform to tell their stories (The Definitive Guide to How Obamacare is Destroying American Lives).
Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people emailed to tell me how they are suffering because of Obamacare. But, as many liberals have reminded me, these folks were all lying. Or they’re mistaken. They’re reading letters from their insurance companies that say things like, “we’re canceling your plan because it doesn’t fit ACA regulations” — but they’re mistaken. Just because their insurance company is explicitly informing them that they are losing their coverage because of Obamacare, that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily losing their coverage because of Obamacare. They could be misinterpreting. Or they’re delusional. Something. They must be something. Anything. Anything to explain why it appears that Obama lied. Anything other than pondering the possibility that it looks like he lied because he did, in fact, lie.
Oh! I know. I know what’s going on here: these people are agents under the employ of Sean Hannity, sent to make up stories about how their children are now uninsured due to a law that was sold as a means to make sure no child would go uninsured. They’re usurpers. Spies. Traitors. GUARDS, SEIZE THEM!
I see it now. Thank you for showing me the light, dear left wingers. I apologize. How could I have been pulled in by these fraudsters? Besides, even if their stories ARE true, what about the POSITIVE impact of Obamacare? Many folks have reached out, not with positive stories themselves per se, but insisting that there MUST be positive stories out there somewhere.
They’re right. I mean, sure, millions of Americans are being put in a bind because of this thing, but their misfortune has proven profitable for a small number of citizens and a large number of insurance executives. When will THEY get THEIR day in the Sun? When will SOMEONE talk about the GOOD things Obamacare is doing? It’s like when there’s a hurricane or a tornado or something. All of a sudden everyone is going on and on about the “victims” of the “catastrophe,” yet nobody ever discusses the GOOD aspects of natural disasters. Sure, families are driven out of their homes, but think about the positive side of that. Think about how well it works out for squatters and looters. If the news wanted to be balanced and fair, they’d report on the carnage this way: “Here we have the Smith family. Their home was rendered unlivable by the storm. But over HERE we’ve got a man named Jake. The mandatory evacuation gave him the perfect opportunity to steal the Smith’s TV. While some are kind of bummed in the aftermath of the hurricane, guys like Jake are really pretty pumped about the whole thing.”
See? That’s called “showing both sides of the story.”
So, you got your hours cut, your plan canceled, and the cost of life saving medication for your diabetic son suddenly skyrocketed? And you’re complaining about this? You unbelievable narcissist! Did you ever consider how your pain and suffering could be really helpful to some strangers across town?
I’ve had enough of this biased nonsense. It’s time that SOMEONE (besides the President of the United States, dozens of government agencies, Democrats, ABC, NBC, CBC, CNN, MSNBC, and Hollywood) put a spotlight on the benefits of Obamacare. To atone for my past malfeasance, I’ll get the ball rolling.
Here are The Three Best Things About Obamacare:
1. Obamacare ensures that no single male will ever go without maternity care again.
We’ve all heard this sort of tale a billion times. A young single guy, in college, studying hard, planning for the future, and then, one day — BOOM — everything changes. He starts to feel kind of strange. He wakes up most mornings with severe nausea. He misses his period. Finally, he goes to CVS and picks up a pregnancy test. Oh Lord, it’s positive. He’s having a baby. Young, single, pregnant, a dude — it’s the oldest story in the book. Until Obamacare, this pregnant fella would likely find that his insurance, shockingly, didn’t include maternity coverage.
But things will be different now. Under the Affordable Care Act, EVERY insurance plan for EVERY American must include the “Ten Essential Health Benefits.” One of the items on that list, thankfully, is maternity and newborn care. That means all humans, whether they be dudes, or menopausal women, or the elderly, must pay for a health plan that covers them in case they get pregnant. If their current plan doesn’t include that sort of coverage — because they’re brazenly assuming that the fact that they’re a man, or 90 years old, would somehow preclude them from ever needing it — their health insurance will be canceled. Better to have no insurance than insurance that is specific to your own needs and desires, am I right?
President Obama said at least 23 times on camera, “if you like your plan, you can keep it.” But anyone who isn’t a Tea Partying anarchist understands what he CLEARLY meant when he said that. He meant “you,” as in, the universal “you.” As in, “we.” As in, “the collective.” As in, “the government.” So, if you take the blinders off and open your mind, you’ll read it like this: “if the government likes your plan, you can keep it.” Remember, there are no individuals in Obama’s America. We are all a part of the Uniformed Collective. YOU — you, specifically — can’t necessarily purchase coverage that works for you, specifically, because it might not work for your neighbor. And then where do we end up? Everyone is just running around all over the place, buying goods and services according to their needs and wishes? That’s CHAOS. CHAOS, I tell you.
Let me give you an example of the horrors of free will and liberty. The other day I was strolling the parking lot of my apartment complex, looking for someone who could drive me to the liquor store. This guy walked by with his wife. I went up to him and asked if I could get a ride. Do you know what he said? You’ll never believe this. He said: “No, sorry, our car is only a two passenger vehicle. There’s no room for you.” Outrageous! Naturally, I shot back: “How dare you! How could you selfishly go out and buy a car that specifically fits your lifestyle? Did you consult with ME before making this decision? What about ME? What about what I want you to buy? WHAT ABOUT ME?!” Then he maced me in the face and hurried away.
Jerk. I hope he crashed.
No, I’m kidding.
But really, I hope he crashed.
2. Obamacare brings about economic justice by punishing rich people.
More good stuff at link: http://themattwalshblog.com/