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Offline Rapunzel

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« on: October 13, 2013, 12:50:00 AM »

Offline 240B

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« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2013, 01:32:57 AM »
When you have a stranger in your home, a boyfriend, girlfriend, child, roommate, relative, whatever. When they start committing or threatening violence, especially if the threats include talk of death, whether it is their own or anyone else, this behavior has to be taken very seriously. This is in no way normal or 'just a phase'. You need to extricate yourself from that situation immediately even if you have to leave your own home or your own apartment.
This kind of behavior indicates that the person is in an extreme psychological condition and is not thinking or behaving rationally which puts the entire environment in imminent danger. There is no way to predict when the person may trip offline and act out the threats.
This little girl, for example, could have easily set the house on fire late at night while everyone is sleeping, just for fun.
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.

Offline Rapunzel

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« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2013, 01:40:24 AM »
I agree 240B.

Several years ago I had a housekeeper who adopted a brother and sister. These were American children and yet the story is eerily similar to this story.  The sister was the one who acted out most frequently and tried being very sexual with most men and even boys she came in contact with.  Her mother had been a prostitute, drug addict, alcoholic. They were living with her in her car in Yuma, AZ when CPS removed them.  These children did not know any hygiene - including toilet - even though both were already school age.

She eventually gave up and did not adopt them. Instead they were returned to "the system."

BTW I once rescued a dog which had been badly abused - two broken ribs when we adopted him.  We kept that dog until the day he died.  12 very long years as he had "rage" issues and we never could trust him completely.  My husband could handle him more than I could, but he had to be put under anesthesia for grooming  (nerve damage from the broken ribs) and if you petted him and accidentally touched his side he would attack out of the blue.  Not a huge difference between abused children and animals, they both require a great deal of patience and love and some never recover.

Offline EC

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« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2013, 02:13:14 AM »
Yep. It is hard work and there is often little or no support available.

When we adopted Ki, she was a holy terror for about 3 years. Did the whole filth thing for the first year. Would actually eat the older kids homework. Stole and hoarded things. Went through a 6 month phase of not speaking at all. We had to hide the door keys because she would go outside in the middle of winter stark naked. We went through a long time of locking all bedroom doors but hers, and took the lock off the bathroom door. Baby monitors in every room in the house, so we could hear what she was up to if she slipped out of sight, something she was very good at. She would only eat sitting under the table - no where else, and half the time she'd smear her food on the underside of the table instead of eating it. Put locks on all the kitchen cupboards and the fridge to reduce her chances of making a mess or hurting herself or anyone else.

It was hell.

We got lucky. We had a very good Child Welfare specialist on speed dial - she is still a close family friend. The older kids were hugely supportive. Our employers at the time were also hugely supportive - I can't emphasize that enough. I'd show up to work with a grubby 6 year old who would sit in on my classes. Took to getting changed at work because she would normally pee on me during the train ride into London.

We got through it. There were a lot of times we wanted to give up, it wasn't fair on the other kids.
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