Author Topic: The Official TBR Silliness Thread: 2013-2016  (Read 117886 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #426 on: March 20, 2015, 08:09:04 pm »

Offline DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,007
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #427 on: March 20, 2015, 09:11:40 pm »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline 240B

  • Lord of all things Orange!
  • TBR Advisory Committee
  • ***
  • Posts: 26,168
    • I try my best ...
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #428 on: March 20, 2015, 10:11:40 pm »
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.
If they kill their own with no conscience, there is nothing to stop them from killing you.
Rational fear and anger at vicious murderous Islamic terrorists is the same as irrational antisemitism, according to the Leftists.

Offline DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,007
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #429 on: March 21, 2015, 12:57:34 pm »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline 240B

  • Lord of all things Orange!
  • TBR Advisory Committee
  • ***
  • Posts: 26,168
    • I try my best ...
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #430 on: March 21, 2015, 01:53:40 pm »
You cannot "COEXIST" with people who want to kill you.
If they kill their own with no conscience, there is nothing to stop them from killing you.
Rational fear and anger at vicious murderous Islamic terrorists is the same as irrational antisemitism, according to the Leftists.

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist
« Last Edit: March 23, 2015, 08:46:06 pm by Machiavelli »

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #432 on: March 24, 2015, 12:19:00 am »

Offline Formerly Once-Ler

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 0
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #433 on: March 24, 2015, 07:04:19 am »

Offline Formerly Once-Ler

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 0
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #434 on: March 25, 2015, 04:25:01 am »

Did someone step on a duck?

Offline Formerly Once-Ler

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 0
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #435 on: March 27, 2015, 04:46:35 am »

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #436 on: March 29, 2015, 02:24:41 am »

Offline Formerly Once-Ler

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 0
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #437 on: April 03, 2015, 04:48:33 am »


The Cat taught us one more lesson that day: on the railroad tracks, we should never play.

Offline DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,007
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #438 on: April 03, 2015, 08:58:12 pm »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #439 on: April 05, 2015, 06:45:40 pm »
Drop that cross one more time you're out of the parade.

Twas the night before Easter and the Rock wouldn't budge.

Pontius Pilate and his Nail Driving Five playing "Rock Around the Cross"

The do-it-yourself Easter kit:  two boards, three nails

I don't care if this IS the Last Supper -- no ID card, no bread and wine!

Jesus was on the cross, and he was really starting to feel the pain, so he cried to his Father, "Lord, if you really love me, you'll remove these nails from my hands."  God complied.  As Jesus began falling forward, he suddenly remembered and yelled (his arms flapping):  "The FEET!  THE FEET!"

« Last Edit: April 05, 2015, 06:46:06 pm by Machiavelli »

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #440 on: April 05, 2015, 07:05:30 pm »
Anderson Nails

A small factory in the northwest, Anderson Nails, had been experiencing years of success and growth. Feeling that he was ready to try for the big time, the owner, Mr. Anderson, contracted a big Madison Avenue agency to help him promote his product.

Aiming to get the greatest possible exposure, the agency booked a full minute at the beginning of the Super Bowl half time show. Anderson was pretty excited about this, and invited all of his friends and relatives to his home for a big Super Bowl party. At the end of the first half, everybody drew closer to the TV, wanting to see the premiere of the commercial. It began with an aerial shot of the desert, and zoomed in on a small walled city. As the camera slowly panned about the city, it became apparent that this was Jerusalem, during the Roman occupation. A large hill on the horizon came into view, and as the camera drew closer, a number of crosses became visible. The focus settled on a naked man in a crown of thorns, then moved in for an extreme close up of his bleeding hands, and the nails which held them to the cross. The nails were stamped with the Anderson Nails logo. A subtitle appeared on the screen, bearing the words "Anderson Nails -- the Expert's Choice".

Anderson's guests were horrified. The party broke up before the end of the game. The next day, he began to get phone calls from his oldest and most loyal customers, expressing their outrage and cancelling their orders. By the end of the week, his sales were down to nothing. He called the president of the advertising agency to cancel his contract. When Anderson explained the situation, the ad-man was surprised, and offered to create a new campaign and run it at no charge.

The new campaign was slated to start several weeks later, on Easter morning as it turns out. This time, Anderson nervously watched the commercial alone in the privacy of his office. It began the same way as before, with an aerial view of Jerusalem. The camera finally settled on two Roman soldiers drinking wine at a table near the marketplace. Hearing a disturbance nearby, they looked up from their drinks in time to see a naked man, with bleeding hands and feet, being pursued by a group of soldiers. The first soldier looked at his companion, smiled knowingly, and said, "They didn't use Anderson Nails!"

Offline PzLdr

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,421
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #441 on: April 06, 2015, 12:45:11 am »
Drop that cross one more time you're out of the parade.

Twas the night before Easter and the Rock wouldn't budge.

Pontius Pilate and his Nail Driving Five playing "Rock Around the Cross"

The do-it-yourself Easter kit:  two boards, three nails

I don't care if this IS the Last Supper -- no ID card, no bread and wine!

Jesus was on the cross, and he was really starting to feel the pain, so he cried to his Father, "Lord, if you really love me, you'll remove these nails from my hands."  God complied.  As Jesus began falling forward, he suddenly remembered and yelled (his arms flapping):  "The FEET!  THE FEET!"



Why is Good Friday "Roman Law Day"? It's when the Romans established one of the basic principles of Western Law, i.e., "We don't care who your Father is!"

What is the official beer of Easter? Rolling Rock.
Hillary's Self-announced Qualifications: She Stood Up To Putin...She Sits to Pee

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #442 on: April 08, 2015, 05:20:57 pm »
A Maine Story: Missing Wife

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Booth Bay Harbor Maine man answered his door to find two grim-faced Maine State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one of the troopers.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens asked.
 
The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Maine Lobsters that you have ever seen and 60 good-sized Rockfish clinging to her.  Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"

The trooper replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

Offline DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,007
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #443 on: April 09, 2015, 08:20:21 pm »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,007
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #444 on: April 09, 2015, 08:21:41 pm »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline aligncare

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 25,916
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #445 on: April 09, 2015, 08:39:16 pm »


Hey, man. We've been waiting an hour. Whens it gonna turn green?

Offline Machiavelli

  • Curmudgeon
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,222
  • Gender: Male
  • Realist
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #446 on: April 10, 2015, 01:26:08 am »

Offline DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,007
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #447 on: April 10, 2015, 12:23:38 pm »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uofnmkfohkc

two year old skakeboarder.....WTH???
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,007
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #448 on: April 10, 2015, 05:53:18 pm »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline DCPatriot

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46,007
  • Gender: Male
  • "...and the winning number is...not yours!
Re: The Official TBR Silliness Thread
« Reply #449 on: April 10, 2015, 05:55:30 pm »
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald