Author Topic: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?  (Read 1560 times)

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famousdayandyear

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TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
   
Culled from an amusing Reddit thread:

• Motel 6: We will leave the lights on for you because we are in a dangerous f***ing neighborhood!
• Dasani: Italian for "Coke just sold you water"
• Red Robin: When you don't want to spend much taking the kids out, but you need alcohol.
• Carnival Cruise: OH COME ON. What are the chances something will happen this time?

• Geek Squad: Let us Google that for you.
• Adobe: an update is available.
• McAfee - Please don't uninstall
• Axe: Smell like a sixth grader.

• Barnes & Noble: Your Local Library Now Has A Starbucks
• Lexus: A Toyota that will get you laid.
• AOL: Still here
• Fiji: If you love the taste of water and hate money

• Air Canada: "We're not happy til you're not happy"
• NetFlix - Wait, don’t go! Arrested Development!
• Comcast - We'll be there between 7AM and go f*** yourself
• Applebee's: We figured out a way to f*** up salad.

• Monster [Energy Drinks]: For Extreme Sitting At Your Computer
• SlimJim: If we showed you how we make these you'd stop eating meat forever.
• Internet Explorer: your number 1 browser for downloading other browsers
• Denny's: because its 2 am, you're drunk, and you need pancakes.

http://directorblue.blogspot.com/2013/06/top-20-list-if-companies-had-realistic.html

Offline massadvj

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2013, 10:44:21 pm »
Free Republic: Because you can't hate immigrants and Mormons too much.

Offline alicewonders

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2013, 11:09:31 pm »
MSNBC - we're not here for the ratings - we're here for Obama!

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Offline EC

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2013, 11:10:16 pm »
American Airlines: It is quicker to walk.
Hertz: Only your wallet.
L'Oreal: You aren't worth it.
Heathrow Airport: What luggage?

Head and Shoulders: Dishwashing liquid for the clueless.
Any NYC Taxi Driver: I don't speak English
Home Depot: Huh?
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famousdayandyear

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2013, 11:34:50 pm »
Solyndra:  Putting Your Money Where The Sun Dont Shine

Offline ABX

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2013, 06:49:19 pm »
AT&T- You don't really need to make that call, do you?
DFW Airport- Because we put a shopping mall in your airport.
SFA Airport- Sorry, we don't sell water here.
Chedders- Ignore that smell, it is just the month old grease we cooked your fries in.
Olive Garden- Because you don't want to spend much money and have no clue what Italian food really is.
Apple- Do less for more money.
Ford- We sold that 'new' model in Europe 3 years ago.
Land Rover- Traversing the world, one mechanic at a time.
Prius- Everyone is laughing at you anyway.
Harley Davidson- Why put $15 grand in the bank, let it collect dust in your garage instead.
Barack Obama- Free Pie (many restrictions apply, pie isn't actually free, complaints will be forwarded to the IRS, multiple complaints and you will be droned)
« Last Edit: June 03, 2013, 06:50:04 pm by AbaraXas »

famousdayandyear

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2013, 07:34:18 pm »
 :thumbsup:

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2013, 07:50:49 pm »
LOL~    Having an experience with having tried to UNINSTALL McAfee....and it's a bitch.


I was trying to install java and it seems one of the prompts...to which I clicked "OK".....was to install and/or change my default browswer.


LESSON LEARNED....don't take anything for granted when installing programs.

I had installed java because my YouTube videos stopped buffering and somebody told me to install java.     Go figure.
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Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2013, 01:35:03 am »
Someone told you to install Java for Youtube? That someone is a moron. Youtube uses Flash or HTML5, but never Java, which (let's be frank) is a dying format and some modern browsers  and operating systems (ahem, Android) don't support by default anymore. (It's a shame, really. I learned Java in college, and although it's not exactly easy as BASIC (which I learned in high school) it's not too bad for programmers. Far better than the Fortran they try to tell meteorologists to take... it's really fast-- which helps with the mass calculations forecast models use-- but for programmers, it is so clunky!  Wow, I am digressing...)
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famousdayandyear

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2013, 02:39:43 am »
Is there be java hijackin goin on up in here?

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2013, 03:44:38 am »
Is there be java hijackin goin on up in here?

No.   LOL!

My YouTube videos stopped buffering completely.  None of them would play fluidly.

I googled the problem and in the first few things about it....somebody yelled, "java"! 

Now I recall purposely removing java long ago based upon sound advice from one of our resident geniuses.  Had no problem with videos before or after.

But I installed something and now I have toolbars up the whazzoo that I can't get rid of!  LOL!        :shrug:
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Online DCPatriot

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2013, 03:46:22 am »
Love the Motel 6 one.......


"We'll leave the light on for you...........because we're in a really bad F_______g neghborhood!!!!!"    LOL!
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

famousdayandyear

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2013, 10:44:57 pm »
Love the Motel 6 one.......

"We'll leave the light on for you...........because we're in a really bad F_______g neghborhood!!!!!"    LOL!

Double LOLs.  DC, love ya like a brotha.

Oceander

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Re: TOP 20 LIST: If companies had realistic slogans what would they be?
« Reply #13 on: June 09, 2013, 02:35:12 pm »
Someone told you to install Java for Youtube? That someone is a moron. Youtube uses Flash or HTML5, but never Java, which (let's be frank) is a dying format and some modern browsers  and operating systems (ahem, Android) don't support by default anymore. (It's a shame, really. I learned Java in college, and although it's not exactly easy as BASIC (which I learned in high school) it's not too bad for programmers. Far better than the Fortran they try to tell meteorologists to take... it's really fast-- which helps with the mass calculations forecast models use-- but for programmers, it is so clunky!  Wow, I am digressing...)

Don't you use FORTRAN anymore?  What about Pascal?  Hee-hee!  I learned both of those in high school as well.  I taught myself BASIC on the Atari 800 we had.