By The Paperboy May 19, 2013 0 Comments
First Family Quietly Gives Up Plans to Adopt a Son
(PP)- President Barack Hussein Obama and First Lady Michelle Hussein Obama quietly decided Sunday not to formally adopt a young boy they had fallen in love with during a tour last year of the President’s homeland.
“Surprisingly, we had been able to keep the Obama’s adoption papers under wraps for several months,” said an attorney for “African-American Imports,” a fledgling international adoption agency.
“But I guess we can let the cat out of the bag that the Obama’s were going to adopt a beautiful four year old boy they met while visiting Nairobi on one of their many vacations,” added the attorney. “Too bad they cancelled the adoption for both the orphan boy and our company because he won’t get the big government perks, and we had to return a large portion of the Obama’s security deposit.”
The First Family had hoped young Fez Paladin, a 4 year old Kenyan orphan, would be the son they never had, and that their decision to adopt would trigger a foreign adoption craze beyond unwed white Hollywood actresses that would significantly change the future for millions of young Kenyan children.
“After last week’s scandals started being covered by even the main stream media, the President and First Lady thought it wouldn’t be prudent to add fuel to the fire of their opponents who are building steam and heading for impeachment hearings,” said the top White House babysitter.
The “fuel” President Obama is trying to keep from the media fire is that young Fez Paladin’s middle name is of all things “Milhous,” and that he was named after disgraced former President Richard Milhous Nixon who was run out of Washington on a helicopter after his own scandals forty years ago.
“I can understand Barack not wanting to face the press and listen to jokes every night from Jay Leno after adopting a kid named Milhous,” said a key White House intern.
“And we thought about changing his middle name to “Saddam” on the birth certificate before he came to America, but that would just end up in another scandal. But we finally decided it would be best to simply leave the orphan boy in Kenya and send him a $108 check and some food stamps each month to make the President appear compassionate with an announcement on “Good Morning America.”
The Palookaville Post has learned that the Obama family had tried to adopt an American boy to be the son they never had, but gave up that effort after orphans learned their stay in the White House would be much shorter than expected, and they will still be stuck with the last name of Obama after impeachment. A name now considered even more terrible than Milhous.