The Briefing Room

General Category => Grassroots Activism and Living => TBR Kitchen => Topic started by: Elderberry on July 18, 2019, 10:21:27 PM

Title: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: Elderberry on July 18, 2019, 10:21:27 PM
GQ By Gabriella Paiella 7/16/2019

Meet the Oven Burrito People: natural-born hedonists who take the ultimate microwaveable convenience food down the path of most resistance.

There are a number of existential questions that reliably plague me whenever I find myself having a quiet moment alone. For instance: Am I taking full advantage of my brief time on earth? What awaits us all on the other side of this mortal coil? And, of course, who are the people who cook their frozen burritos in the oven instead of using the microwave?

Every few months or so, I buy a frozen burrito under more or less the same circumstances, though the decision is never premeditated. It happens because I’m harried from working late. I need instantaneous calories. My eyes are glassy, and my animal brain can only focus on the prospect of putting on my big T-shirt and watching a 2014 Dateline rerun. As I unwrap it, I always take pause at the preparation instructions, because the two alternatives presented are so wildly, hilariously divergent. You can either zap your frozen burrito in the microwave for a maximum of two minutes, or you can bake it in the oven for 55 minutes, a suggestion that reveals not only a fundamental misunderstanding of why someone would buy a frozen burrito in the first place but, I believe, a misplaced hope in humanity in general.

Still, those instructions are there for a reason. And when I requested for people who favored the oven method to reveal themselves, I was surprised by the flood of replies I received from not only strangers but also acquaintances and even friends (which goes to show, you can never really know someone). From there, I found that I could divide them into two distinct groups. First, people who don’t own a microwave, so oven cooking is their only option—which is reasonable enough. This leaves the people who own a microwave but choose to take the ultimate convenience food down the path of most resistance.

More: https://www.gq.com/story/meet-the-oven-burrito-people (https://www.gq.com/story/meet-the-oven-burrito-people)
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: roamer_1 on July 18, 2019, 10:42:30 PM
From there, I found that I could divide them into two distinct groups. First, people who don’t own a microwave, so oven cooking is their only option—which is reasonable enough. This leaves the people who own a microwave but choose to take the ultimate convenience food down the path of most resistance.


Nope. there is a third option...

Roamer-1's Amazing 3-for-a-Buck Burritos:

Start with Monterrey's frozen green chili burritos (the green package)

Arrange 3 burritos upside down on a dinner plate.
Nuke for 1 minute
Turn over.
Nuke for 1 minute.
exchange the middle one for either of the side ones.
Nuke for 1 minute.

Remove from plate and drop in hot oil in a cast pan... chimi them puppies.
when browned, return to plate.

top with sour cream
top with Pace yellow cap Picante sauce
sprinkle with finely diced onion and Jalapeno.
Top with too much cheese of your choice, though pepper jack for the real deal.

throw under a broiler till cheese is melted, bubbly, and starting to brown.

Top with finely chopped romaine lettuce, remainder of onion and jalapeno, and rough chopped tomato.
drizzle lemon juice.

Get it? Nuke, Pan of oil, broiler.

Beautiful, man.
 888high58888

 
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: Elderberry on July 18, 2019, 10:49:01 PM
Dang! You're makin' me hungry!

I'm partial to the Spicy Picante ones, but not all the stores carry them.

(https://www.elmonterey.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/SPICY-PICANTE-BURRITOS-643x330.png)
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: roamer_1 on July 18, 2019, 10:54:32 PM
Dang! You're makin' me hungry!

I'm partial to the Spicy Picante ones, but not all the stores carry them.

(https://www.elmonterey.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/SPICY-PICANTE-BURRITOS-643x330.png)

Yeah, I have never seen those. I will give em a whirl if I can find em...
 :beer:
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: Elderberry on July 18, 2019, 11:01:06 PM
Yeah, I have never seen those. I will give em a whirl if I can find em...
 :beer:

This site is supposed to show which stores near your zip carries each product.

https://www.elmonterey.com/where-to-buy/where-to-buy-locations/ (https://www.elmonterey.com/where-to-buy/where-to-buy-locations/)
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: corbe on July 18, 2019, 11:13:50 PM
   In this Trump economy I can't afford Burritos, I eat pre fab Tamales and $1 dollar refried beans on a coleman stove.
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: Elderberry on July 18, 2019, 11:18:20 PM
You're doing pretty good if you're eating refried beans, its dried pintos at our casa.
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: roamer_1 on July 18, 2019, 11:18:45 PM
This site is supposed to show which stores near your zip carries each product.

https://www.elmonterey.com/where-to-buy/where-to-buy-locations/ (https://www.elmonterey.com/where-to-buy/where-to-buy-locations/)

Yeah, it ain't working...  :shrug:
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: roamer_1 on July 18, 2019, 11:22:18 PM
   In this Trump economy I can't afford Burritos, I eat pre fab Tamales and $1 dollar refried beans on a coleman stove.

Hey. that's what passes as fast food at this house.
And what a treat when I get em!

Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on July 19, 2019, 04:09:31 AM
Dang! You're makin' me hungry!

I'm partial to the Spicy Picante ones, but not all the stores carry them.

(https://www.elmonterey.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/SPICY-PICANTE-BURRITOS-643x330.png)

Those are so much better than the ones the local store carries.

Seriously, I've considered tracking down the local wallyworld manager to ask him to stock a special flavor of frozen "burrito".

I hate to admit it, but they really are that good.
Title: Re: What Kind of Person Cooks a Frozen Burrito in the Oven?
Post by: Elderberry on July 19, 2019, 07:56:39 AM
Those are so much better than the ones the local store carries.

Seriously, I've considered tracking down the local wallyworld manager to ask him to stock a special flavor of frozen "burrito".

I hate to admit it, but they really are that good.

My local Fiesta store carried them and then dropped them. I complained to no avail. Then I found another Fiesta that carried them. The last time I went though they didn't have them. I just ran the "product finder" and it shows that all the walmarts near me carry them.(I had to go thru the program 2-3 times to make it work). I'll check one out Today.