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General Category => National News/Current Events => Topic started by: jmyrlefuller on April 14, 2019, 01:03:14 PM

Title: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 14, 2019, 01:03:14 PM
The Adventures of Florida Man
A repository for all Florida Man stories.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 14, 2019, 01:05:01 PM
(post inadvertently overwritten, will try to retrieve)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 14, 2019, 03:54:20 PM
Actual Esquire article: (https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26899191/florida-man-headlines-2019/)
Quote
The 90 Wildest Florida Man Headlines of 2019 (So Far)
Whatever insanity is happening in your state, Florida has done it with an alligator and possibly some amphetamines.
By Justin Kirkland   
Apr 1, 2019  ...
Apparently, there's a new one every day. This is just March 30's:
Quote
Florida man accused of attacking mom when she wouldn't dress his mannequin
By: Bob D'Angelo, Cox Media Group National Content Desk
Updated: Mar 30, 2019 - 2:57 AM

... The victim told police she was in the backyard of a home when Dankner asked her to dress his mannequin, the television station reported. When the woman refused, Dankner allegedly blocked her path back into the house.  ...

The victim told police Dankner hit her several times in the head with a wooden stool and stuffed dumplings into her mouth, causing her to have difficulty breathing, the television station reported.  ...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on April 15, 2019, 07:39:52 AM
BKMK
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 15, 2019, 07:51:18 AM
This morning's Florida Man story:
Quote
Florida Man Driving at 100 MPH Tells Cop 'The Car is a Ferrari and it Goes Fast,' Passenger Gets Him in More Trouble
By Jason Murdock On 4/15/19 at 5:35 AM EDT

A Florida man who told police he was speeding because his sports car “goes fast” was hit with a felony charge this weekend after a passenger in the vehicle claimed he had ignored the patrol car siren of an in-pursuit deputy, the local police department has said.

Gabriel Molina, age 29, of Miami, was behind the wheel of a 2016 Ferrari and reached speeds of 100 miles per hour (mph) while allegedly fleeing from Upper Keys police sergeant Robert Dosh on Sunday. ...
Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-ferrari-speeding-miami-monroe-county-sheriffs-office-mile-marker-1396066)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 09:52:51 AM
I love Florida Man stories. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 10:00:48 AM
I love Florida Man stories.
There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 10:02:49 AM
There's just so many of them... hence why I decided to devote a thread to them.

 888high58888
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 10:03:16 AM
Drunk Florida man arrested at Olive Garden after eating handfuls of pasta
Ben Padgett, 32, was arrested on April 7 for disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence.

According to an arrest report, police responded to a disturbance call at the restaurant and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities." He was not wearing a shirt.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229069039.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229069039.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: thackney on April 15, 2019, 10:17:08 AM
...and saw Padgett eating the pasta belligerently as he was "muttering obscenities....

So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 15, 2019, 10:54:55 AM
So, is belligerent eating of pasta a state crime or something against a local ordinance?
It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 10:59:01 AM
It's not a felony until he starts eating breadsticks belligerantly.

Isn't the lack of a shirt an extenuating circumstance? 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 15, 2019, 11:10:15 AM
Is Florida Man doing the crazy stunts other Americans are unwilling to do to entertain the general American public?
I say it's time for other Americans to do their bit and perform the weird things Florida Man  has been doing over and above  what is called for by the average American.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 15, 2019, 04:06:54 PM
Florida man charged with shooting woman with a gun he filled with urine
An elderly man who squirted a woman with urine while she was walking her dog was arrested in Florida over the weekend — and he’s not sorry.

Gulfport police reportedly picked up Joel Benjamin, 71, on Saturday after he used a squirt gun to soak a 50-year-old woman passing by his house.


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-squirt-gun-elderly-man-urine-20190415-mz6cdnjq65fjjlbc43p3mginou-story.html (https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-squirt-gun-elderly-man-urine-20190415-mz6cdnjq65fjjlbc43p3mginou-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Ghost Bear on April 15, 2019, 04:29:09 PM
Bookmarking...  :pop41:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: corbe on April 15, 2019, 04:49:50 PM
(http://66.media.tumblr.com/b656755ed8256a291e338a39129aae5d/tumblr_mzw8l88EcJ1s6lu3wo1_500.gif)


   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: berdie on April 15, 2019, 05:39:59 PM
(http://66.media.tumblr.com/b656755ed8256a291e338a39129aae5d/tumblr_mzw8l88EcJ1s6lu3wo1_500.gif)


   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.



Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out. wink777
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: corbe on April 15, 2019, 06:11:11 PM
   You're probably absolutely correct @berdie
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 15, 2019, 06:13:34 PM


Hey now @corbe ...I know you didn't mean that the way it came out. wink777

I sure hope not.   :thud:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 16, 2019, 06:47:34 AM
Florida man strips naked and poops in Naples family's yard
Collier County deputies said Michael Burke was attempting to break into multiple homes in the 3100 hundred block of Barrett Avenue when a neighbor spotted him and called deputies.

Neighbors said Burke was scared off by dogs, but not scared enough to stop him from going into their backyard and relieving himself.


https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40302821/man-strips-naked-and-poops-in-naples-familys-yard (https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40302821/man-strips-naked-and-poops-in-naples-familys-yard)

(Au contraire... they literally scared the crap out of him.)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: GrouchoTex on April 16, 2019, 07:47:56 AM
Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: GrouchoTex on April 16, 2019, 07:49:47 AM
(http://66.media.tumblr.com/b656755ed8256a291e338a39129aae5d/tumblr_mzw8l88EcJ1s6lu3wo1_500.gif)


   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

@corbe

Of course, that would be both beautiful and crazy all at the same time.

(Whoops, did I say that out loud?).

I'm going to hide now.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 16, 2019, 09:19:38 AM
Where I saw this was on Twitter.

The challenge was to Google "Florida Man" and your birthday, and find the bizarre story with that date.

Mine was "Country Sheriff tells Florida Man not to shoot at Hurricane Irma."

I don't Google, but I Ixquiked mine and got: "Florida Man Arrested For Beating Drag Queen With Tiki Torch While Dressed as Member of KKK, Now Running For Mayor"   :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on April 16, 2019, 10:03:33 AM
Oops! Florida man mistakenly swiped laxatives, not opioids: report (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/opinion/david-whitley/os-ae-opioids-laxative-david-whitley-0128-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 17, 2019, 06:44:08 AM
Florida man arrested after being filmed wrestling fake alligator at mall

Gianny Sosa-Hernandez was charged with criminal mischief after damaging the display alligator at The Falls Shopping Center in Miami-Dade County, according to the Miami-Dade Police Department.

In the video, Sosa-Hernandez, 18, is seen removing his sweatshirt and running to the side of the display. He then jumps over the barrier, throwing the fake alligator off a rock and into the display's pond. Sosa-Hernandez picks up the alligator before performing a wrestling move on it that police identified as an R.K.O, a move popularized by WWE wrestler Randy Orton. He then pretends to pin the gator.

Police said the manager of the mall confirmed that the alligator, which was valued at $3,690, was damaged from the March 30 incident.


https://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-teenager-arrested-filmed-wrestling-fake-alligator-mall/story?id=62429533
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 17, 2019, 09:57:46 AM
(http://66.media.tumblr.com/b656755ed8256a291e338a39129aae5d/tumblr_mzw8l88EcJ1s6lu3wo1_500.gif)


   I'm just appreciative that there's not a running Thread on Texas Women.

@corbe

A REAL Texas woman has never allowed a full beer mug to hit the floor in all of recorded history.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: GrouchoTex on April 17, 2019, 03:08:28 PM
@corbe

A REAL Texas woman has never allowed a full beer mug to hit the floor in all of recorded history.

LOL, none that I know, that's for sure.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: andy58-in-nh on April 17, 2019, 03:31:18 PM
Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

 The man is accused of spraying his neighbor with the pressure washer 'without his consent.'

Updated:   12:17 PM EDT March 11, 2019       

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. — Pasco deputies arrested a Brooksville man accused of 'intentionally' spraying his neighbor with a pressure washer Friday. 
 
"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, came out of his house on Somerset Acres Lane and started up his pressure washer while his neighbor was also outside 'weed blowing' his yard.
 
As the neighbor walked towards the front of his property, Plaster sprayed him with the pressure washer 'without his consent,' according to an arrest affidavit. The pressure sprayer caused dirt and water to hit the neighbor in the face and upper body, deputies say.
 
Surveillance video showed Plaster approach his neighbor and spray him with the pressure washer, according to the arrest affidavit.
 
Plaster faces battery charges.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 17, 2019, 07:26:39 PM
Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

 
"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, ...

John Plaster Jr??????

Hmmm,wonder if his daddy is from Mn?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 17, 2019, 11:21:41 PM
Florida man accused of 'intentionally' pressure washing his neighbor

 The man is accused of spraying his neighbor with the pressure washer 'without his consent.'

Updated:   12:17 PM EDT March 11, 2019       

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. — Pasco deputies arrested a Brooksville man accused of 'intentionally' spraying his neighbor with a pressure washer Friday. 
 
"I had occasion to investigate a domestic disturbance," the arrest affidavit began.Deputies say Johnny Plaster Jr., 52, came out of his house on Somerset Acres Lane and started up his pressure washer while his neighbor was also outside 'weed blowing' his yard.
 
As the neighbor walked towards the front of his property, Plaster sprayed him with the pressure washer 'without his consent,' according to an arrest affidavit. The pressure sprayer caused dirt and water to hit the neighbor in the face and upper body, deputies say.
 
Surveillance video showed Plaster approach his neighbor and spray him with the pressure washer, according to the arrest affidavit.
 
Plaster faces battery charges.
It didn't have to blow up. I think the whole incident has been blown out of proportion. I think things will eventually  blow over. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 17, 2019, 11:34:52 PM
It didn't have to blow up. I think the whole incident has been blown out of proportion. I think things will eventually  blow over.

They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 18, 2019, 07:16:59 AM
Florida man, 80, captures huge alligator
An 80-year-old Florida man took matters into his own hands when a huge alligator walked into his backyard Tuesday afternoon.

Ed Chapman, from Miami-Dade County, tried to catch the 6-and-a-half-foot gator himself before he had to call in backup from police and the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, local outlet 7News reported.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/huge-alligator-80-year-old-florida-man (https://www.foxnews.com/us/huge-alligator-80-year-old-florida-man)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 18, 2019, 07:19:40 AM
Florida man attacks neighbors with frying pan, lamp pole, deputies say
51-year-old Gerald Lee Thornton Jr. had been evicted from his home and got into a fight with his neighbors in the 11000 block of Edison Avenue on Friday night.

One of the neighbors told deputies that Thornton chased him with a frying pan and hit him in the left side, according to a complaint affidavit. The man took the frying pan from Thornton and punched Thornton multiple times in the head.

Thornton got up and hit a second man in the back of the head with a lamp pole, according to the affidavit.


https://www.bradenton.com/news/local/crime/article229268284.html (https://www.bradenton.com/news/local/crime/article229268284.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Bigun on April 18, 2019, 10:01:42 AM
Florida man gets his ass beat by a grandma with a baseball bat!

Florida great-grandma fends off 300-pound burglar with a baseball bat: cops (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-grandma-300-pound-underwear-burglar-baseball-bat?fbclid=IwAR0Ao4jtIO8S05RGftqownoyIGr5H9dZqlzHBuyv4XrnLx1kmADkio3Euio)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 18, 2019, 11:00:44 AM
Sic,'em,Granny!

I will only add you need to get a couple of your grandsons to come stay with you for a while in case he tries to get his homies to come after you. I'd really hate to read that you get hurt over this.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 19, 2019, 08:09:03 PM
Florida man pretends to be cop, pulls over actual cop, gets arrested
Matthew Joseph Erris, from Pasco County, Florida, clearly wanted to give the impression that he was a police officer. On the top of his Chevy Trailblazer was a police light bar and there were even red and blue lights on the vehicle’s grill.

On Tuesday night, he got so into character that he flashed his fake police lights at a car in front, signally for them to pull over. But he chose the wrong person to pull over, WFLA reported. The occupant of the car in front was a real-life police detective, working undercover. He promptly called 911 and alerted other officers, who caught up with Erris a short time later.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-pretends-be-cop-pulls-over-cop-pretending-be-civilian-gets-1401043 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-pretends-be-cop-pulls-over-cop-pretending-be-civilian-gets-1401043)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 19, 2019, 09:38:18 PM
Florida man misspells ‘‘school’’—painting a school parking lot
A road crew in Florida should get an "F'' for spelling.

A motorist on Thursday spotted the error, realizing that workers in Doral had made a mistake when painting the word "school" at a pedestrian crossing in the road.

Instead of S-C-H-O-O-L, it was spelled S-C-O-H-O-L.


https://www.wivb.com/news/national/oh-florida-road-crew-misspells-school-on-crosswalk/1938783514 (https://www.wivb.com/news/national/oh-florida-road-crew-misspells-school-on-crosswalk/1938783514)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on April 19, 2019, 09:46:16 PM
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought (https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 19, 2019, 09:51:40 PM
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought (https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought)

Some of those are really good:

Quote
...#21 Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with garbage on stranger’s property

#22 Florida man caught abusing young alligator, putting cigarette in its mouth

#23 Florida man arrested after traffic crash found with ‘fake urine,’ says it’s for ‘role play’ with spouse

#24 Florida man finds iguana in toilet, calls 911

#25 Florida man tried to bring replica grenade launcher on plane, TSA says

#26 Florida man uses fake ID, steals $41K in dental implants, $10K for French bulldog

#27 Florida man denies syringes found in rectum are his

#28 Florida man threatens to kill man ‘with kindness,’ uses machete named ‘Kindness’

#29 Naked Florida man revealed on video sneaking into restaurant and munching on ramen

#30 Florida man escapes alligator by punching it in the face while searching for golf balls...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 22, 2019, 07:00:39 AM
Florida Man gropes fingerprint technician while being booked for disorderly conduct
Jack Dylan Evans, 44, was arrested on Wednesday for allegedly yelling at a female staffer at the Down The Hatch bar in Pinellas Park about his intentions to have sex with her. Later, Evans continued his disorderly behavior by groping the buttocks of the female fingerprint technician at Pinellas County jail who was processing him, according to a police report.

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-gropes-fingerprint-technician-after-being-arrested-disorderly-1402352 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-gropes-fingerprint-technician-after-being-arrested-disorderly-1402352)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on April 22, 2019, 09:29:38 AM
Florida Man gropes fingerprint technician while being booked for disorderly conduct
When ya just gots ta have it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on April 22, 2019, 09:57:03 AM
 :2popcorn:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 22, 2019, 12:21:11 PM
I have to believe there's a reality tv series with the Florida Man theme.

(https://coxrare.files.wordpress.com/2019/04/rare-21.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 23, 2019, 10:39:36 AM
Quote
Florida man in Easter bunny costume caught in viral brawl reveals who he is, why he hopped into action

A costumed stranger fighting for justice removed his mask Monday -- but it wasn't Bruce Wayne revealing he's Batman or Peter Parker confessing he's Spider-Man.

It turns out the person seen in an Easter bunny outfit brawling with two others this weekend in a viral video has a familiar identity: Florida man.

...“Only in Florida. only in Orlando you see a bunny fighting. You’ve got to pull your phone out,” the promoter told FOX35....

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-easter-bunny-costume-viral-brawl-explained (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-easter-bunny-costume-viral-brawl-explained)

With video.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on April 24, 2019, 06:21:52 PM
Florida man, 72, stabbed nephew for hogging bathroom
Authorities say a 72-year-old Florida man repeatedly stabbed his nephew because he was taking too long in the bathroom.

Volusia County Sheriff's deputies and DeLand police arrived Tuesday to find the 29-year-old victim with wounds in his stomach and back. Investigators said the victim lives in his vehicle in his father's driveway and that his father allows him to use the bathroom.


https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Police-Florida-man-stabbed-nephew-for-hogging-bathroom-509024511.html (https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Police-Florida-man-stabbed-nephew-for-hogging-bathroom-509024511.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Free Vulcan on April 28, 2019, 01:35:12 PM
Florida man on meth attacks mattress while looking for man 'hiding inside,' police say

A Fort Walton Beach man is in jail after allegedly smoking methamphetamine and holding his girlfriend against her will while he attacked their mattress.

Felipe Oquendo, 37, is charged with false imprisonment and possession of drug
paraphernalia in connection with an incident early Friday morning.

Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies were called to the home on Willow Bend
Boulevard around 1:10 a.m. Friday. The caller said Oquendo had started acting erratically and accused her of cheating on him with a man in the mattress.


https://amp-pnj-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/3587017002?fbclid=IwAR00sRsykVemjYX0qYuz8TO7kLMf6ywC9B16SccnKd-hHDwlTXuI7HShZcM&amp_js_v=0.1
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: goatprairie on April 28, 2019, 03:48:39 PM
Florida man on meth attacks mattress while looking for man 'hiding inside,' police say

A Fort Walton Beach man is in jail after allegedly smoking methamphetamine and holding his girlfriend against her will while he attacked their mattress.

Felipe Oquendo, 37, is charged with false imprisonment and possession of drug
paraphernalia in connection with an incident early Friday morning.

Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies were called to the home on Willow Bend
Boulevard around 1:10 a.m. Friday. The caller said Oquendo had started acting erratically and accused her of cheating on him with a man in the mattress.


https://amp-pnj-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.pnj.com/amp/3587017002?fbclid=IwAR00sRsykVemjYX0qYuz8TO7kLMf6ywC9B16SccnKd-hHDwlTXuI7HShZcM&amp_js_v=0.1
I ask you ladies and gentlemen, who has not ripped apart a mattress looking for a person inside?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on April 28, 2019, 05:33:41 PM
I ask you ladies and gentlemen, who has not ripped apart a mattress looking for a person inside?

 :raise hand:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: EdJames on April 28, 2019, 06:40:48 PM
Florida man contracts flesh-eating bacteria while fishing in Gulf of Mexico

https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121 (https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121)

A Florida man out fishing off the coast of Palm Harbor in the Gulf of Mexico contracted an infection with flesh-eating bacteria last Saturday.

WFTS reported Ozona, Florida, native Mike Walton is being treated for flesh-eating disease known as necrotizing fasciitis.

Walton was stuck by a fish hook on Saturday. By the next day, his hand had grown swollen and black blisters had grown. He was rushed to the burn unit once at the Tampa General Hospital. Luckily, they were able to save his life and his arm, which risked amputation.


(https://accuweather.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/0c34767/2147483647/resize/590x/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Faccuweather-bsp.s3.amazonaws.com%2F70%2F8d%2Fc54f296e4cdebdf84d4279d7a927%2Fmike-walton.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 28, 2019, 07:41:25 PM
Florida man contracts flesh-eating bacteria while fishing in Gulf of Mexico

https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121 (https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/man-in-florida-contracts-flesh-eating-bacteria-while-fishing-in-gulf-of-mexico/70008121)

A Florida man out fishing off the coast of Palm Harbor in the Gulf of Mexico contracted an infection with flesh-eating bacteria last Saturday.

WFTS reported Ozona, Florida, native Mike Walton is being treated for flesh-eating disease known as necrotizing fasciitis.

Walton was stuck by a fish hook on Saturday. By the next day, his hand had grown swollen and black blisters had grown. He was rushed to the burn unit once at the Tampa General Hospital. Luckily, they were able to save his life and his arm, which risked amputation.


(https://accuweather.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/0c34767/2147483647/resize/590x/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Faccuweather-bsp.s3.amazonaws.com%2F70%2F8d%2Fc54f296e4cdebdf84d4279d7a927%2Fmike-walton.jpg)

@EdJames

That is some serious stuff. I had a boil at the base of my scrotum that apparently "burst inside" and infect my blood. Scrotum swole up 3 or more times it's normal size,and when it burst,it leaked black pus that smelled like the grave. I was running a fever of 103 when I got to the hospital ER so I wasn't thinking very clearly,but it was about 5 AM on a Sunday morning,and everybody started panicking. The surgeon made me sign a release giving him the authority to castrate me if necessary before they would operate,and they cut my clothes off and burned them.

They didn't have to castrate me,and I honestly think the surgeon was happier about this than I was. 2 years later he would see me someplace in town and come up with a big smile on  his face and congratulate me for surviving the operation.

I was cut from top to bottom,and stitched back together from top to bottom. I was in intensive care for 12 days because they had to leave drain holes and monitor me to make sure they cut it all out. The surgeon later told me about having to amputate the leg at the hip of a 15 year old girl to save her life because she got an infection below her knee.

Yeah,this is some serious stuff.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: EdJames on April 28, 2019, 08:07:40 PM
@EdJames

That is some serious stuff. I had a boil at the base of my scrotum that apparently "burst inside" and infect my blood. Scrotum swole up 3 or more times it's normal size,and when it burst,it leaked black pus that smelled like the grave. I was running a fever of 103 when I got to the hospital ER so I wasn't thinking very clearly,but it was about 5 AM on a Sunday morning,and everybody started panicking. The surgeon made me sign a release giving him the authority to castrate me if necessary before they would operate,and they cut my clothes off and burned them.

They didn't have to castrate me,and I honestly think the surgeon was happier about this than I was. 2 years later he would see me someplace in town and come up with a big smile on  his face and congratulate me for surviving the operation.

I was cut from top to bottom,and stitched back together from top to bottom. I was in intensive care for 12 days because they had to leave drain holes and monitor me to make sure they cut it all out. The surgeon later told me about having to amputate the leg at the hip of a 15 year old girl to save her life because she got an infection below her knee.

Yeah,this is some serious stuff.

@sneakypete

I thought it was notable because I never realized that these "flesh eating" bacterias were out in a place like the Gulf of Mexico.  I always heard about people getting them while they were in hospitals.

Do you know what kind of infection you had?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on April 28, 2019, 09:41:59 PM
@sneakypete

I thought it was notable because I never realized that these "flesh eating" bacterias were out in a place like the Gulf of Mexico.  I always heard about people getting them while they were in hospitals.

Do you know what kind of infection you had?

"Flesh-Eating Bacteria". Not the scientific name,but the common name. It seems to be real common around the warmer regions of the Atlantic Ocean,with lots of cases near Miami.

Although that boil on my scrotum had been coming and going for years. I can't even remember when I first had trouble with it. It would get infected,burst on the outside,and a little pus and blood would drain away and it would clear up. This time it burst on the inside and got into my blood stream.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 02, 2019, 10:51:30 AM
Drunk Florida man kicked out of library told cops he was Jason Bourne
After he was kicked out of the Barbara S. Ponce Public Library in Pinellas Park for causing a disturbance, the man identified himself to police as Jason Bourne, the fictional super-spy created by author Robert Ludlum and portrayed in the movies by Matt Damon, News4Jax reported.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/drunk-florida-man-jason-bourne (https://www.foxnews.com/us/drunk-florida-man-jason-bourne)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 02, 2019, 10:53:20 AM
Florida man claims sexual role-play led to shootout
“On 2/13/19, (my wife) and I were role playing in one of our many adventures. Absolutely no crimes were committed and I certainly didn’t do anything to hurt her,” Gray wrote. “In our role-playing adventures, we have traveled, purchased specific items, added other members, and have acted the part in our videos.”

https://www.wflx.com/2019/05/01/florida-man-claims-sexual-role-play-led-shootout/ (https://www.wflx.com/2019/05/01/florida-man-claims-sexual-role-play-led-shootout/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 03, 2019, 08:08:13 AM
Video catches Florida man in bonnet hiding 28 cans of baby formula under dress, cops say
By Jared Gilmour
May 02, 2019 06:23 PM, Updated May 02, 2019 06:23 PM
Miami Herald (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229957744.html#storylink=cpy)

A Florida man was caught on video hiding stolen baby formula under his dress at a Cape Coral grocery store last week, and he’s suspected of similar crimes at other stores, police said.

Officers responded to the reported theft at a Publix in Cape Coral on Saturday, and were told that a man had been riding a motorized cart around the store around 9:40 p.m. when he grabbed 28 cans of Enfamil baby formula and stuffed them under the long red and purple flowered dress that he was wearing, police said in a news release on Thursday.  ...

[video at link]
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 03, 2019, 09:33:14 AM
Florida man can also be a good guy...well, sort of:

Quote
Florida man gave ‘baby cheetah’ to fire station — but it was another type of wild cat

The small cat that a Florida man discovered this week wasn’t the baby cheetah he suspected it was.

But the man wasn’t wrong that it was a wild animal, according to Orlando authorities.

On Thursday, the man dropped off the kitten at fire station seven in Orlando, telling firefighters there at around 9 a.m. that “he found it in the area and didn’t know what to do,” fire department spokesperson Ashley Papagni wrote in an email to McClatchy....

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229719094.html#storylink=related_inline (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article229719094.html#storylink=related_inline)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 03, 2019, 10:19:52 AM
Florida man can also be a good guy...well, sort of:

@Sanguine

Just from looking at the photo I would have guessed it was just a tabby cat kitten. Looks nothing like a Bob Cat to me.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 05, 2019, 01:42:52 PM
Wanted Florida man hoped blonde wig would disguise him from deputies as he biked away
Florida fugitive wanted on drug charges tried to elude deputies surrounding the home he was in Thursday by donning a long blonde wig and riding off on a bicycle, the Brevard County Sheriff's Office said.

The wig didn't work, and agents caught up with and arrested Robert “Bobby” Walls soon after watching him ride away, deputies said.

Walls later admitted he put the wig on in hopes that officers wouldn't recognize him and that he'd avoid arrest, deputies said.


https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-brevard-wig-disguise-fails-20190504-story.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-brevard-wig-disguise-fails-20190504-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 05, 2019, 02:08:24 PM
I'm no expert on disguises,but I suspect it was the beard and the male clothes that gave him away.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 05, 2019, 10:59:30 PM
Wanted Florida man hoped blonde wig would disguise him from deputies as he biked away
Florida fugitive wanted on drug charges tried to elude deputies surrounding the home he was in Thursday by donning a long blonde wig and riding off on a bicycle, the Brevard County Sheriff's Office said.

The wig didn't work, and agents caught up with and arrested Robert “Bobby” Walls soon after watching him ride away, deputies said.

Walls later admitted he put the wig on in hopes that officers wouldn't recognize him and that he'd avoid arrest, deputies said.


https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-brevard-wig-disguise-fails-20190504-story.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-brevard-wig-disguise-fails-20190504-story.html)

I think I can see why it didn't work.

(https://www.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2019/05/05/walls-700x420.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 07, 2019, 05:56:01 PM
Florida Man had an eventful weekend:

Quote
‘F*** It, I’m Drunk, Take Me To Jail’: Florida Man Crashes Lawn Mower Into Police Car

HAINES CITY (CBSMiami)- Police officers have to worry about people driving under the influence or boating under the influence, but now, they’ll have to look out for those lawn mowing under the influence.

On May 5, one Florida man was charged with a DUI, or in this case an ‘LUI’,  after he allegedly drove his lawn mower into a police car while drunk.

According to Haines City police, an officer handling another incident inside of a local business in Haines City, in Central Florida, heard a loud noise from outside of the store. When the officer went outside, he found Gary Anderson, 68, behind the wheel of lawn mower and near the officer’s parked police car, which had minor damages to the bumper....

https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/07/drunk-florida-man-crashes-lawn-mower-police-car/

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 07, 2019, 11:50:31 PM
Florida Man had an eventful weekend:


@Sanguine

George Jones,the country singer,was once arrested for driving a riding mower down a public road while intoxicated. His wife at the time,Tammy Whynette,IIRC,was the one that called the cops on him. She had refused to take him to the liquor store because he was a mean drunk,so he took off on the lawn mower.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 08, 2019, 12:01:28 AM

@Sanguine

George Jones,the country singer,was once arrested for driving a riding mower down a public road while intoxicated. His wife at the time,Tammy Whynette,IIRC,was the one that called the cops on him. She had refused to take him to the liquor store because he was a mean drunk,so he took off on the lawn mower.

She stood by her man, but called the police.   :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 08, 2019, 10:50:35 AM
Florida man arrested after refusing to remove ‘I eat @$$’ bumper sticker

A man was arrested in Florida for refusing to remove a bumper sticker on his vehicle that read “I eat a–,” a report said on Tuesday.

Dillon Shane Webb, 23, was driving a brown Chevrolet truck on Sunday when a deputy noticed the sexually suggestive sticker fastened to the rear window and alerted Webb that it violates a state obscenity law, according to the Lake City Reporter.

Webb responded by claiming that the content of the sticker was “just words,” the report said.


https://nypost.com/2019/05/07/florida-man-arrested-after-refusing-to-remove-i-eat-a-bumper-sticker/

(H/T @The Ghost , though I think Florida Man has a case here)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: The Ghost on May 08, 2019, 10:55:34 AM


https://nypost.com/2019/05/07/florida-man-arrested-after-refusing-to-remove-i-eat-a-bumper-sticker/

(H/T @The Ghost , though I think Florida Man has a case here)[/center]

I do too!  Kramer had Assman plates! 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: The Ghost on May 08, 2019, 02:10:51 PM

@Sanguine

George Jones,the country singer,was once arrested for driving a riding mower down a public road while intoxicated. His wife at the time,Tammy Whynette,IIRC,was the one that called the cops on him. She had refused to take him to the liquor store because he was a mean drunk,so he took off on the lawn mower.

If the Possum had this one he might have made it there and back by going via the creek.

(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/59834584_10156328220650496_1129530713280872448_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=6e2becdf65c0ed8ff214663e6b4a5142&oe=5D5C6615)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 10, 2019, 01:58:30 PM
Florida man arrested after refusing to remove ‘I eat @$$’ bumper sticker

A man was arrested in Florida for refusing to remove a bumper sticker on his vehicle that read “I eat a–,” a report said on Tuesday.

Dillon Shane Webb, 23, was driving a brown Chevrolet truck on Sunday when a deputy noticed the sexually suggestive sticker fastened to the rear window and alerted Webb that it violates a state obscenity law, according to the Lake City Reporter.

Webb responded by claiming that the content of the sticker was “just words,” the report said.


https://nypost.com/2019/05/07/florida-man-arrested-after-refusing-to-remove-i-eat-a-bumper-sticker/

(H/T @The Ghost , though I think Florida Man has a case here)

Update: charges have been dropped.
https://reason.com/2019/05/10/charges-dropped-against-florida-man-because-the-first-amendment-protects-his-i-eat-ass-bumper-sticker/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 10, 2019, 02:00:30 PM
Florida man tries to (jokingly) pawn off his son at a pawn shop, triggers massive police response


The single dad was caught on film at a local pawn shop Tuesday, asking the owner if he could pawn his months-old son. After authorities released the footage and began searching for Slocum, the father reached out to let them know it was just a ruse intended for Snapchat.

“This is what I got. I know no one under 18 in here but he’s barely used, seven and a half months old, what do you think he’s worth?” Slocum says in the video, referring to his son, Caden, who was put on the counter in a carrier.


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-manhunt-man-pawn-baby-florida-20190509-ldxaklviqnby5atxwzqy5ht32m-story.html?yptr=yahoo (https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-manhunt-man-pawn-baby-florida-20190509-ldxaklviqnby5atxwzqy5ht32m-story.html?yptr=yahoo)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: The Ghost on May 10, 2019, 02:01:53 PM
Update: charges have been dropped.
https://reason.com/2019/05/10/charges-dropped-against-florida-man-because-the-first-amendment-protects-his-i-eat-ass-bumper-sticker/

This was a case of "He didn't respect my authority" cop arrest.   Hope this guy sues for abuse by a public safety official..
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 10, 2019, 02:02:57 PM
Florida man crashes lawnmower into cop car, says "bleep it. I'm drunk, take me to jail"
Gary Anderson, 68, allegedly crashed his lawn mower into a parked police vehicle on Sunday, May 5 while the officer was tending to an unrelated incident at a business premise in Haines City, in Polk County, Florida, reported Miami CBS Local.

Although the officer did not see the collision, he claims to have heard a loud crash while inside the shop and rushed outside to see Anderson holding the lawn mower in close proximity to the vehicle. The officer also noticed minor damages to the back and bumper of the patrol car, according to the Haines City Police Department.

As the officer confronted Anderson, the suspect immediately admitted to crashing the lawn mower into the cop car and said he was intoxicated. “F*** it, I’m drunk, take me to jail,” he reportedly told the officer.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-68-crashes-lawn-mower-cop-car-tells-police-officer-f-im-drunk-1420389 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-68-crashes-lawn-mower-cop-car-tells-police-officer-f-im-drunk-1420389)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 13, 2019, 09:44:28 AM
Florida man arrested after praising the LORD while highway-surfing his Cadillac, would rather go to jail than go back home to his nagging wife

State troopers recently arrested a Florida man who was caught trying to live out his Titanic movie fantasies and make his heart go on atop a moving vehicle. Local news affiliates report that authorities arrested Leonard Olsen, 70, after an off-duty deputy for the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department caught him on video, attempting to “surf” his Cadillac while traveling on the highway with cruise control enabled.

The deputy first noticed Olsen’s Cadillac doing more than 100 miles per hour when it abruptly slowed down to just 40 mph. Then, Olsen supposedly opened the sunroof and propped himself up on top of his moving car while traveling on Interstate 4 in the westbound lane. This prompted the officer to begin recording video on his smartphone.


https://www.thedrive.com/news/27965/florida-man-arrested-after-praising-the-lord-while-highway-surfing-his-cadillac (https://www.thedrive.com/news/27965/florida-man-arrested-after-praising-the-lord-while-highway-surfing-his-cadillac)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 13, 2019, 10:05:29 AM
I didn't know Frank moved to Florida....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 13, 2019, 05:48:19 PM
I didn't know Frank moved to Florida....
:silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: ABX on May 13, 2019, 06:00:03 PM
Florida man arrested after praising the LORD while highway-surfing his Cadillac, would rather go to jail than go back home to his nagging wife

State troopers recently arrested a Florida man who was caught trying to live out his Titanic movie fantasies and make his heart go on atop a moving vehicle. Local news affiliates report that authorities arrested Leonard Olsen, 70, after an off-duty deputy for the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department caught him on video, attempting to “surf” his Cadillac while traveling on the highway with cruise control enabled.

The deputy first noticed Olsen’s Cadillac doing more than 100 miles per hour when it abruptly slowed down to just 40 mph. Then, Olsen supposedly opened the sunroof and propped himself up on top of his moving car while traveling on Interstate 4 in the westbound lane. This prompted the officer to begin recording video on his smartphone.


https://www.thedrive.com/news/27965/florida-man-arrested-after-praising-the-lord-while-highway-surfing-his-cadillac (https://www.thedrive.com/news/27965/florida-man-arrested-after-praising-the-lord-while-highway-surfing-his-cadillac)

The sad part is this likely will result in his licensing being suspended, thus being forced to stay home with his wife or her drive him around.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 13, 2019, 06:04:01 PM
The sad part is this likely will result in his licensing being suspended, thus being forced to stay home with his wife or her drive him around.

@ABX

You don't think he has a riding mower? EVERYBODY in Florida has a riding mower. Most have a 4 wheeler,plus a boat. I had a cousin that beat drunk driving arrests for years by just running down to the closest bar in his boat,and dropping anchor close to shore and then wading in. Sometimes he would just sleep in the open boat until morning when they threw his ass out at closing time.

I ain't saying this guy is a hard-core drunk,but I once caught him drinking Mennen After Shave Lotion.

IF he lasted that long before they tossed him out,that is.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on May 13, 2019, 06:29:58 PM
The sad part is this likely will result in his licensing being suspended, thus being forced to stay home with his wife or her drive him around.

Nothing sad about it, the SOB was clearly in the left lane.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 17, 2019, 10:15:44 AM
Police Arrest Florida Man Who Claims Playing Basketball Naked ‘Enhances His Skill Level’
A Florida man caught playing basketball naked at a public park said he thought it would help improve his skills, according to police.

A park employee said he saw a man playing basketball while in the buff at Candyland Park in Longwood, Florida, Sunday evening and immediately contacted authorities.


https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/16/police-arrest-man-who-claims-playing-basketball-naked-enhances-his-skill-level/

That's just one of several gems that showed up on my feed today.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 17, 2019, 10:25:26 AM
Police Arrest Florida Man Who Claims Playing Basketball Naked ‘Enhances His Skill Level’
A Florida man caught playing basketball naked at a public park said he thought it would help improve his skills, according to police.

A park employee said he saw a man playing basketball while in the buff at Candyland Park in Longwood, Florida, Sunday evening and immediately contacted authorities.


https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/05/16/police-arrest-man-who-claims-playing-basketball-naked-enhances-his-skill-level/

That's just one of several gems that showed up on my feed today.


This gem had Florida man with the family jewels on display. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: EdJames on May 17, 2019, 03:34:52 PM
Florida Man vs. Florida Man: He wants to trademark ‘Florida Man’ before someone else does.

https://www.tampabay.com/environment/florida-man-vs-florida-man-he-wants-to-trademark-florida-man-before-someone-else-does-20190514/ (https://www.tampabay.com/environment/florida-man-vs-florida-man-he-wants-to-trademark-florida-man-before-someone-else-does-20190514/)

ST. PETERSBURG — For three years, a Florida man named Ryan Davis has run a Florida website called “floridaman.com” that features stories he's aggregated from various publications about the bumbling antics of the Sunshine State's ubiquitous superhero, Florida Man. You know the ones: “Florida Man drives Cadillac from sunroof down highway, says he'd rather go to jail than back to his wife,” and “Florida Man gets beat up by the Easter Bunny," and "Florida Man resists arrest by singing karaoke.”

Lately he's even started making money at it, selling T-shirts and other merchandise bearing slogans such as “Beware of Florida Man.”

Now the St. Petersburg resident has taken the next logical step. He recently applied for a trademark for the term “Florida Man.”

--snip--

According to Largo trademark attorney Bill Larson, Davis can indeed trademark the term "Florida Man" — but only insofar as it's part of a product or service.

"You can only get a trademark registered for a product or service that you sell," he said, pointing out Davis' T-shirts as an example. "If it's a generic term that everyone uses — like escalator or elevator — those would not be able to be registered."

Davis has only just put in his application, so he's still got some time to go before he finds out if his trademark application has been accepted. He said he knows of one other person who has put in an application for the same trademark, so there could be a three-way custody battle over “Florida Man.”

Although Davis' website features a lot of mugshots, he was reluctant to share his own photo with the Times. Incidentally, Davis shares a trait with about two-thirds of Florida's 21 million residents: He's not from Florida. He’s originally from California, which in pre-Internet days used to be considered the weirdest state in the union.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 18, 2019, 10:38:43 AM
Florida man accused of exposing genitals to women while riding Walmart scooter
A Pensacola man was arrested for allegedly exposing his genitals and scooting toward women while riding a Walmart in-store scooter.

Kejuan Mccants, 27, was arrested Thursday and charged with indecent exposure. He was booked into the Escambia County Jail on a $10,000 bond.


https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/ (https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 18, 2019, 10:45:28 AM
Florida man accused of exposing genitals to women while riding Walmart scooter
A Pensacola man was arrested for allegedly exposing his genitals and scooting toward women while riding a Walmart in-store scooter.

Kejuan Mccants, 27, was arrested Thursday and charged with indecent exposure. He was booked into the Escambia County Jail on a $10,000 bond.


https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/ (https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2019/05/17/florida-man-walmart-scooter-exposing-genitals-women-pensacola/3705503002/)

@jmyrlefuller

Hard to believe such a clever and unique seduction plan didn't work,huh?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Right_in_Virginia on May 18, 2019, 12:07:46 PM
(https://i1.wp.com/www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2019/05/Screen-Shot-2019-05-16-at-7.43.51-AM.png?resize=580%2C580&ssl=1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 18, 2019, 01:00:22 PM
(https://i1.wp.com/www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2019/05/Screen-Shot-2019-05-16-at-7.43.51-AM.png?resize=580%2C580&ssl=1)

@Right_in_Virginia

Ok,this guy is now my personal hero!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 18, 2019, 01:01:38 PM
And, I bet he had really defined leg muscles.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: corbe on May 18, 2019, 02:45:43 PM
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d4f628551b0a9a61b49ae5e2f19e2a4eb2bc92b1127eb4f1fad956336bea19f.png)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 22, 2019, 04:35:13 PM
Florida man crashes wedding, cuts in on the bride and groom's first dance, gets arrested
Crashing a wedding can go two ways: you have a great time while enjoying some free drinks and leave without anyone noticing you weren't actually invited or you join the bride and groom during their first dance and get arrested.

Mark Saunderson, 37 of Land O' Lakes, experienced the latter way.

Saunderson invited himself to a wedding reception at the Grand Plaza Hotel on St. Pete Beach Monday evening, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

After walking into the reception, Saunderson cut into the bride and groom's first dance.

When confronted by staff and security, he escaped to the 11th floor of the hotel.


https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-for-crashing-wedding-on-st-pete-beach-during-bride-and-grooms-first-dance (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-for-crashing-wedding-on-st-pete-beach-during-bride-and-grooms-first-dance)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 23, 2019, 01:09:37 PM
Florida man caught on camera bathing in a Wendy's sink
A Snapchat video posted to Facebook on Tuesday showing a person bathing in the sink of a Milton Wendy's has the fast food restaurant in hot water with local residents.

https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/ (https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 29, 2019, 12:09:21 PM
Florida man arrested for hitting mom in head with corn cob

ZEPHYRHILLS, Fla. (FOX 35 ORLANDO) - A man in Pasco County is behind bars after deputies said he hit his mother in the head with a corn cob.

The incident reportedly happened at a home in Zephyrills around 2:00 a.m. on Sunday.

According to deputies, Cody Cummins, 27, threw a corn cob at his mother, hitting her in the head. Deputies say the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries, according to an arrest report.

http://www.fox5dc.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-hitting-mom-in-head-with-corn-cob (http://www.fox5dc.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-hitting-mom-in-head-with-corn-cob)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on May 29, 2019, 12:13:40 PM
"the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries"

He hurt her feelings?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on May 29, 2019, 01:08:25 PM
"the victim was hurt but did not have any physical injuries"

Strange line.  Maybe we need to open  a sub-topic for "Floriduh Press?"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 30, 2019, 10:39:10 AM
Florida man bit by a snake that came out of the toilet he was using
Baltazar Jimeno, 52, told Coral Springs police that when he went to use the bathroom and lifted up the toilet seat Sunday morning, the python "rose out of the toilet and bit him in his arm," according to a police report.

https://www.local10.com/news/florida/coral-springs/snake-slithers-out-of-coral-springs-mans-toilet-bites-him (https://www.local10.com/news/florida/coral-springs/snake-slithers-out-of-coral-springs-mans-toilet-bites-him)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on May 30, 2019, 02:16:33 PM
It's not a real Florida Man story if you make up your own headline.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 30, 2019, 07:31:26 PM
It's not a real Florida Man story if you make up your own headline.
Florida news outlets tend not to use the phrase "Florida man" when describing things that happen in their own region. Ergo, sometimes editorial license is required for those of us outside Florida.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 30, 2019, 07:33:35 PM
Florida man took shower in victim's home, wore her clothes then stole her car, police say

A man made himself at home as he stole from a 77-year-old woman, according to police.

The woman said she walked into her home to find a man wearing her clothes while hiding out from police.

The report said 37 -year-old Kristopher Patterson said he was not going to hurt her. He had taken a shower, asked her for a drink, and made a phone call.


https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/florida-man-took-shower-in-victim-s-home-wore-her-clothes-then-stole-her-car-police-say/953748252 (https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/florida-man-took-shower-in-victim-s-home-wore-her-clothes-then-stole-her-car-police-say/953748252)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on May 30, 2019, 08:03:51 PM
Florida news outlets tend not to use the phrase "Florida man" when describing things that happen in their own region. Ergo, sometimes editorial license is required for those of us outside Florida.

They do it all the time, probably more so than out of state outlets.  Like the one you just posted.  There's like 10 million dudes in FL, not everything stupid they do was done by Florida Man.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on May 30, 2019, 09:13:58 PM
They do it all the time, probably more so than out of state outlets.  Like the one you just posted.  There's like 10 million dudes in FL, not everything stupid they do was done by Florida Man.
The national version of the story in question uses the "Florida Man" headline.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/05/29/python-slithers-out-toilet-bites-florida-man-arm-coral-springs/1269761001/ (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/05/29/python-slithers-out-toilet-bites-florida-man-arm-coral-springs/1269761001/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on May 31, 2019, 09:36:03 AM
Florida man sometimes has a job as a teacher, and is a woman.
Quote
Florida Teacher Wrote 'WTF Is This?' On Student's Science Assignment
By Brendan Cole On 5/30/19 at 6:57 AM EDT

Teachers are often expected to encourage their young charges, offering help to both those who soar at the top or linger at the bottom of the class, guiding them through their formative years.

However, one educator in Florida has been left decidedly unimpressed with a student’s assignment—and was not afraid to say so.

The unnamed teacher at Rutherford High School in Springfield gave short shrift to one science assignment and wrote across the top “WTF is this?"  ...

Rutherford principal Coy Pilson said the school had spoken with the teacher, whose name they would not release, adding that "she was apologetic and it was a mistake on her part.”  ...
Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-teacher-writes-wtf-absolutely-no-credit-high-school-students-1439161)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on May 31, 2019, 09:54:44 AM
Florida man sometimes has a job as a teacher, and is a woman.Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-teacher-writes-wtf-absolutely-no-credit-high-school-students-1439161)

@mountaineer

Not exactly professional,but I think we can all probably understand her frustration.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 03, 2019, 03:05:04 PM
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

Quote
GAINESVILLE, FL – A 37-year-old man is dead after his trailer home was destroyed in a meth-lab explosion, caused by him lighting up ‘blue angels’ to amuse his wife.

(https://i1.wp.com/thevalleyreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/anthony.png?resize=603%2C302&ssl=1)

The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject.

https://thevalleyreport.com/2016/02/13/florida-man-dies-in-meth-lab-explosion-after-lighting-farts-on-fire/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: thackney on June 03, 2019, 03:07:05 PM
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

...The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 03, 2019, 03:15:09 PM
LOL, @thackney!  That was really in the (short) article....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: WalkingLiberty on June 03, 2019, 03:38:08 PM
I didn't know Frank moved to Florida....

that's a lot of nerve
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: The Ghost on June 03, 2019, 03:47:28 PM
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

I see the Onion and the Bee have competition!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 04, 2019, 03:40:47 AM
Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

@Cyber Liberty


Quote
The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing.

Ok,THAT'S funny,I don't care who you are!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 04, 2019, 10:43:23 PM
Florida Man Charged With Manslaughter For Shooting Woman During Foreplay With Gun, Police Say

Quote
VALRICO (CBSMiami) – A Florida man is facing manslaughter charges after accidentally shooting a woman during a sex act.

According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, Andrew Shinault, 23, and a woman in her 20s, were “engaging in an act of foreplay involving his registered handgun” on Sunday May 26 in the Tampa suburb of Valrico.

https://miami.cbslocal.com/2019/06/04/florida-man-manslaughter-woman-shot-foreplay-gun/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 05, 2019, 06:50:05 AM
Thank goodness the handgun was registered.  :pondering:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 05, 2019, 07:19:42 PM
Florida man arrested after allegedly pouring ketchup on sleeping girlfriend

Officers responded to a home in Pinellas Park early Sunday where they found a woman “covered in ketchup,” a police report said.

Police said the woman “woke up to ketchup being poured on her by the defendant as the defendant was yelling ‘that’s what you get, b----.”


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-after-pouring-ketchup-on-sleeping-girlfriend-report (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-after-pouring-ketchup-on-sleeping-girlfriend-report)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 05, 2019, 07:21:28 PM
Blowtorch-wielding Florida Man Tries to Steal ATM, Welds it Shut Instead

Okaloosa County Sheriff's deputies say the men tried to break into a machine on the second floor of the Boardwalk on Okaloosa Island on Friday morning.

Deputies say the man in black tried to use a blowtorch to melt the hinges and locks on the ATM, while the other had a crow bar and served as a lookout.

But when employees arrived the next morning, they found the ATM, still closed, with the hinges welded shut.


https://www.mynews13.com/fl/orlando/news/2019/06/05/blowtorch-wielding-florida-man-tries-to-steal-atm--welds-it-shut-instead (https://www.mynews13.com/fl/orlando/news/2019/06/05/blowtorch-wielding-florida-man-tries-to-steal-atm--welds-it-shut-instead)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 05, 2019, 07:24:46 PM
Police And Florida Man Exchange Gunfire Over A Parking Space
parking arguments seem to be a universal language. However, most of those arguments don’t tend to escalate to one party pulling out a gun and shooting wildly into the public.

That’s exactly what happened in Florida when a parking dispute led to an elderly man shooting his blindly before being arrested over the weekend.


https://www.ibtimes.com/florida-police-elderly-man-exchange-gunfire-over-parking-space-2797299 (https://www.ibtimes.com/florida-police-elderly-man-exchange-gunfire-over-parking-space-2797299)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 06, 2019, 02:01:03 PM
Florida man caught on camera bathing in a Wendy's sink
https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/ (https://www.pnj.com/story/news/local/2019/05/22/viral-video-florida-wendys-milton-man-bathing-kitchen-sink/3766235002/)
Update: the employee has been fired.
https://www.wivb.com/news/wendy-s-employee-fired-for-taking-a-bath-in-the-sink/2057752926 (https://www.wivb.com/news/wendy-s-employee-fired-for-taking-a-bath-in-the-sink/2057752926)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 07, 2019, 08:16:32 AM
Florida man spotted in New York naked in a chicken coop

On Wednesday, June 5, 2019 New York State Police arrested 25-year-old John Mehne after police say a bizarre series of events started when Mehne allegedly burglarized a home in Sarasota and stole a car.

Police say he crashed that car somewhere North of Pennsylvania and caught a ride on the back of a pickup truck, but eventually ran away on foot when multiple law enforcement units joined in on the chase.


https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/06/06/police-sarasota-man-behind-bars-after-being-found-naked-chicken-coop-new-york/ (https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/06/06/police-sarasota-man-behind-bars-after-being-found-naked-chicken-coop-new-york/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 07, 2019, 09:29:22 AM
Florida man spotted in New York naked in a chicken coop

On Wednesday, June 5, 2019 New York State Police arrested 25-year-old John Mehne after police say a bizarre series of events started when Mehne allegedly burglarized a home in Sarasota and stole a car.

Police say he crashed that car somewhere North of Pennsylvania and caught a ride on the back of a pickup truck, but eventually ran away on foot when multiple law enforcement units joined in on the chase.


https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/06/06/police-sarasota-man-behind-bars-after-being-found-naked-chicken-coop-new-york/ (https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/06/06/police-sarasota-man-behind-bars-after-being-found-naked-chicken-coop-new-york/)

@jmyrlefuller

The prime question wasn't answered,although it was hinted at in the news report.

Did any chickens lose their virtue,and are they going to sue?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: GtHawk on June 07, 2019, 06:54:51 PM
@jmyrlefuller

The prime question wasn't answered,although it was hinted at in the news report.

Did any chickens lose their virtue,and are they going to sue?
@sneakypete
The hens were heard to exclaim 'any cockle dooo!"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 07, 2019, 06:56:42 PM
Police: Florida man hid legless fugitive girlfriend in plastic tote

Quote from: WFTS Article

AP
Posted: 6:48 AM, May 11, 2018
Updated: 5:16 AM, May 11, 2018

(https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/77aa920/2147483647/strip/true/crop/640x360+0+60/resize/1280x720!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsharing.abcactionnews.com%2Fsharewptv%2Fphoto%2F2018%2F05%2F11%2Fwptv-Krystle-Anderson-John-carr_1526035652154_86551805_ver1.0_640_480.jpg)
Photo by: Polk County Sheriff's Office

WINTER HAVEN, Fla. (AP) — A Central Florida man is accused of hiding his legless fugitive girlfriend from police by stuffing her into a plastic storage container.

48-year-old John Robert Carr Jr. of Winter Haven is charged with resisting arrest. News outlets report Carr attempted to hide 39-year-old Krystle Lee Anderson from U.S. marshals and Polk County Sheriff's deputies Tuesday.

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/police-florida-man-hid-legless-fugitive-girlfriend-in-plastic-tote (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/police-florida-man-hid-legless-fugitive-girlfriend-in-plastic-tote)

She's a keeper!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 07, 2019, 07:20:12 PM
@sneakypete
The hens were heard to exclaim 'any cockle dooo!"


@GtHawk

Anybody told Laz? He would hit that.

(old FR joke. If you don't get it,don't worry about it)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 07, 2019, 08:09:33 PM
A legless fugitive, huh? How did she run away?  ****drummer
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 07, 2019, 08:14:18 PM
A legless fugitive, huh? How did she run away?  ****drummer

Hella tote bag that can hold a 4-foot-tall woman.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: GtHawk on June 07, 2019, 11:06:18 PM

@GtHawk

Anybody told Laz? He would hit that.

(old FR joke. If you don't get it,don't worry about it)
@sneakypete
Oh I get it, Laz is a legend................in his own mind anyway.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on June 07, 2019, 11:08:27 PM
This does seem like a Laz story.  Unfortunately...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 07, 2019, 11:32:18 PM
This does seem like a Laz story.  Unfortunately...

He settled down a lot when his cat, Cathy ("CAT-Hates-You") died.  He blames himself, and he's probably right.   :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 10, 2019, 08:11:37 AM
Florida man disrupts restaurant, tells officers ‘go to Dunkin’ Donuts’
A Florida man was disrupting a Naples restaurant, standing on chairs while sticking out his middle finger and shouting at customers before his arrest, deputies say.

The suspect, John Toddy, 55, faces a Disorderly Intoxication charge.


https://www.winknews.com/2019/06/09/florida-man-disrupts-restaurant-tells-officers-go-to-dunkin-donuts/ (https://www.winknews.com/2019/06/09/florida-man-disrupts-restaurant-tells-officers-go-to-dunkin-donuts/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 10, 2019, 08:27:56 AM
Nude Florida man accused of flinging his urine at cops
“There’s a man out here butt naked!” exclaimed a woman speaking to a 911 operator after witnessing a man wearing nothing but his birthday suit attempt to enter a convenience store several days ago.

When the 911 technician asked if the man was sporting any weapons, the caller stated, “No, he is like nude. Nude. He’s very nude!”


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-nude-florida-man-charged-with-tossing-urine-at-cops-20190609-zykwswy7izckvdyr54bywde3cq-story.html (https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-nude-florida-man-charged-with-tossing-urine-at-cops-20190609-zykwswy7izckvdyr54bywde3cq-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 11, 2019, 10:07:30 AM
Florida man winds up in ICU after eating pufferfish and snorting cocaine
A Florida man was hospitalized after he and his grandmother ate a potentially lethal puffer fish. The unnamed 43-year-old man visited Aventura Hospital and Medical Center in south Florida, suffering from vomiting and stomach pains.

Both of his legs had gone numb, he felt weak, and he was struggling to speak and stay awake. A pain had erupted in his chest which made it feel as though it was tearing, his doctors wrote in BMJ Case Reports.

Hospital staff learned the man had eaten the liver of a puffer fish four hours before arriving at the hospital. Three days prior, he had also consumed canned food and cocaine.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-took-cocaine-ate-puffer-fish-liver-intensive-care-1443312 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-took-cocaine-ate-puffer-fish-liver-intensive-care-1443312)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 11, 2019, 10:08:50 AM
\
Florida man tells police cocaine powder on nose, ‘not his’
A Florida man who was riding in the passenger-side seat in a vehicle that was pulled over early Sunday told the officer that the cocaine powder on his nose didn’t belong to him, according to investigators.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-tells-deputy-cocaine-powder-on-noise-not-his-police.print (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-tells-deputy-cocaine-powder-on-noise-not-his-police.print)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 11, 2019, 11:05:51 AM
Florida man winds up in ICU after eating pufferfish and snorting cocaine
[font=serif
Hospital staff learned the man had eaten the liver of a puffer fish four hours before arriving at the hospital. Three days prior, he had also consumed canned food and cocaine.[/font]

 
@jmyrlefuller

They have canned cocaine in Fla????

Don't they damage their teeth trying to bite into the can?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 11, 2019, 12:40:33 PM
Bush's beans 'n' blow.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 12, 2019, 01:05:14 PM
Florida man arrested after hiding meth in container of 'hot, fresh potato wedges,' police say
A Florida man’s order was up after deputies discovered a bag of meth inside a styrofoam container of “hot, fresh potato wedges,” authorities said.

James Simpson, 48, was arrested Saturday afternoon after police conducted a traffic stop, the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-meth-hot-fresh-potato-wedges (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-meth-hot-fresh-potato-wedges)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 12, 2019, 01:06:51 PM
Florida man, naked, performs ‘strange dance’ at McDonald’s before ‘trying to have relations with a railing’
"I was dispatched to McDonald's in reference to a white male wearing white shorts taking their clothes off and doing a strange dance," said Morgan's arrest report, written by Officer D. Grossklass.

"The caller stated that they believed the male to be possibly on drugs. The male was doing this near the front door of the McDonald's.

"While I was on my way to McDonald's it [was] also stated that the male pulled his pants down, but put them back on. Lastly, the caller stated that it looked as though the male was trying to have relations with a railing."


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-naked-strange-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railing-1443522 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-naked-strange-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railing-1443522)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on June 12, 2019, 01:16:25 PM
No way drugs were involved:

(https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1503072/florida-man-naked-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railings.jpg?w=737&f=26e568d4d6922ba76f4d0912133562f7)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: thackney on June 12, 2019, 01:35:36 PM
https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-naked-strange-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railing-1443522 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-naked-strange-dance-mcdonalds-sex-railing-1443522)

A couple of buried jems in that article:

Quote
...Earlier in June, Florida man Peter Wagman, 37, from Pinellas Park, was charged with domestic battery for pouring tomato sauce all over his sleeping girlfriend following an argument about infidelity.

Wagman, who pleaded not guilty, was allegedly heard at around 4:45 a.m. yelling "that's what you get, b****h" as he covered her in the red condiment. The couple reportedly had a history of police callouts for domestic incidents.

Last Tuesday, Escambia County deputies arrested Keriah Renea Giomi, 25, of Cantonment after she allegedly tried to stab a man in the stomach with a hunting knife while she was naked and yelling "Jehovah" at him. Giomi faces felony charges of aggravated battery.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 12, 2019, 04:56:54 PM
The railing was heard sadly singing, "Will you still love me tomorrow? "
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 14, 2019, 07:49:13 PM
Florida man brought an assistant to his crime spree, deputies say. She was 4 years old.
Around 8 a.m. Thursday, deputies responded to the 100 block of Charles Street to a witness reporting a suspicious person carrying around large bags on a neighbor’s property along the river, according to a sheriff’s office Facebook post.

The witness mentioned the suspect walking with a little girl who was carrying a bag, too.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article231560903.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article231560903.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on June 14, 2019, 09:43:27 PM
Florida man brought an assistant to his crime spree, deputies say. She was 4 years old.
Around 8 a.m. Thursday, deputies responded to the 100 block of Charles Street to a witness reporting a suspicious person carrying around large bags on a neighbor’s property along the river, according to a sheriff’s office Facebook post.

The witness mentioned the suspect walking with a little girl who was carrying a bag, too.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article231560903.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article231560903.html)
Sounds like the Damon Runyon story Butch Minds the Baby.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on June 15, 2019, 02:41:16 AM
Nude Florida man accused of flinging his urine at cops
“There’s a man out here butt naked!” exclaimed a woman speaking to a 911 operator after witnessing a man wearing nothing but his birthday suit attempt to enter a convenience store several days ago.

When the 911 technician asked if the man was sporting any weapons, the caller stated, “No, he is like nude. Nude. He’s very nude!”


https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-nude-florida-man-charged-with-tossing-urine-at-cops-20190609-zykwswy7izckvdyr54bywde3cq-story.html (https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-nude-florida-man-charged-with-tossing-urine-at-cops-20190609-zykwswy7izckvdyr54bywde3cq-story.html)
No shirt, no shoes, no service...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 15, 2019, 10:26:06 AM
No shirt, no shoes, no service...

@Smokin Joe

"flung his urine at the cops....."

Sounds to me like this goober WANTED to be beaten for free.

Ok,who here would blame the cops for beating the snot out of him while arresting him?

Don't get me wrong. I am NOT  a fan of police brutality,and almost always question violent arrests,but there are limits to everything.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 15, 2019, 01:18:24 PM
Florida man asked cops for help starting motorcycle he’d stolen
Raymond Millwater is just 30 years old but he's been jailed nearly two dozen times.

His latest trip to the slammer came after someone reported seeing a possibly intoxicated man pushing a motorcycle down a road in Clearwater.

Police responded and said they found Millwater standing unsteady near the bike. He told them he borrowed it from a man named Chad, but he couldn’t get it to turn on.

Not deterred, Millwater asked officers if he could borrow a screwdriver to get the motor running.


https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Florida-man-asked-cops-for-help-starting-motorcycle-hed-stolen-police-say-511329372.html (https://www.wkyt.com/content/news/Florida-man-asked-cops-for-help-starting-motorcycle-hed-stolen-police-say-511329372.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Right_in_Virginia on June 15, 2019, 01:19:39 PM
(https://i1.wp.com/www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2019/06/Florida-Man-Ohio.png?resize=580%2C422&ssl=1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 15, 2019, 01:40:42 PM
Florida man confesses to string of pool float thefts, says he uses them for impure intents
According to officials, in the past seven months, the city of Palm Bay has been plagued with burglaries in which the suspect cuts the screen and enters a victim's back pool area, stealing only pool floats.

There have been 13 reports made at this time. The victims stated that they had been robbed several times by Monnin but only reported the burglary after the second or third time it happened. Officials say there were apporximatly 75 floats inside (Monnin's domicile), including ones that the victims described.

Monnin told authorities that he "sexually gratifies himself" with the pool floats instead of raping women.


https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-steals-pool-floats-for-sex-instead-of-raping-women-police-say' (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-steals-pool-floats-for-sex-instead-of-raping-women-police-say')

(The mugshot on this one is pretty impressive, too.)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 15, 2019, 02:12:28 PM
Florida man asked cops for help starting motorcycle he’d stolen
Raymond Millwater is just 30 years old but he's been jailed nearly two dozen times.

 

@jmyrlefuller

My prediction is he is going to see many more jails and prisons from the inside before it all ends.

Depending on whose motorcycle it was he stole,that is. There ARE some people that take that sort of thing seriously,and they tend to have good friends who are already in prison,and who will be waiting to greet him with open arms. Bad things will then happen to him.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on June 15, 2019, 04:31:26 PM
Florida man confesses to string of pool float thefts, says he uses them for impure intents
According to officials, in the past seven months, the city of Palm Bay has been plagued with burglaries in which the suspect cuts the screen and enters a victim's back pool area, stealing only pool floats.

There have been 13 reports made at this time. The victims stated that they had been robbed several times by Monnin but only reported the burglary after the second or third time it happened. Officials say there were apporximatly 75 floats inside (Monnin's domicile), including ones that the victims described.

Monnin told authorities that he "sexually gratifies himself" with the pool floats instead of raping women.


https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-steals-pool-floats-for-sex-instead-of-raping-women-police-say' (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-steals-pool-floats-for-sex-instead-of-raping-women-police-say')

(The mugshot on this one is pretty impressive, too.)
Tell him just keep it. There is not enough chlorine in the pool....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 21, 2019, 07:00:10 AM
Florida man attempts to break into Buddhist temple, flees half-naked when confronted by monks
A Hernando man is behind bars after Kenneth City Police officials say he attempted to break into a Buddha Temple.

The Kenneth City Police Department says Jack Williams, 26, was seen at around 5:15 a.m. on June 19 on the roof of the Kenneth City Buddha Temple striking a glass bedroom window.

Williams was charged with Loitering and Prowling.


https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/florida-man-flees-buddha-temple-half-naked/2089013839 (https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/florida-man-flees-buddha-temple-half-naked/2089013839)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on June 21, 2019, 09:55:01 PM
Florida man throws feces at judge, says ‘It’s protein. It’s good for you.’ and eats some to demonstrate
... and the best part of the story is: he was acquitted.

https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/florida-man-flees-buddha-temple-half-naked/2089013839 (https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/florida-man-flees-buddha-temple-half-naked/2089013839)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on June 21, 2019, 10:26:40 PM
Florida woman who hid stolen Rolexes in vagina beats charge. What happens to the watches?

June 19, 2019
Prosecutors were forced to drop criminal charges against a South Florida woman accused of stealing five Rolex watches — four of which were found inside her vagina during a jail strip search.

Delajurea Brookens, 29, beat the grand-theft charge earlier this month when the victim, an Orlando businessman named Ramon Diaz, stopped cooperating with prosecutors.

Prosecutors were forced to drop criminal charges against a South Florida woman accused of stealing five Rolex watches — four of which were found inside her vagina during a jail strip search.

Delajurea Brookens, 29, beat the grand-theft charge earlier this month when the victim, an Orlando businessman named Ramon Diaz, stopped cooperating with prosecutors.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article231737783.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article231737783.html)

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on June 22, 2019, 05:25:50 AM
Florida woman who hid stolen Rolexes in vagina beats charge. What happens to the watches?

Just the kind of girl you want to take home to mom.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on June 22, 2019, 12:21:57 PM


Florida woman who hid stolen Rolexes in vagina beats charge. What happens to the watches?

June 19, 2019
Prosecutors were forced to drop criminal charges against a South Florida woman accused of stealing five Rolex watches — four of which were found inside her vagina during a jail strip search.

Delajurea Brookens, 29, beat the grand-theft charge earlier this month when the victim, an Orlando businessman named Ramon Diaz, stopped cooperating with prosecutors.

Prosecutors were forced to drop criminal charges against a South Florida woman accused of stealing five Rolex watches — four of which were found inside her vagina during a jail strip search.

Delajurea Brookens, 29, beat the grand-theft charge earlier this month when the victim, an Orlando businessman named Ramon Diaz, stopped cooperating with prosecutors.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article231737783.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article231737783.html)

Sounds like she stole them from a guy that had stolen them first.

Which means she is probably going to be found in a ditch with a bullet in her head soon,and the watches will go unclaimed. Or at least unclaimed until the cops can figure out a way to get them through a "closed" confiscated seized property sale."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on June 28, 2019, 07:47:37 PM
Florida Man has his own Twitter account: https://twitter.com/FloridaMan__ (https://twitter.com/FloridaMan__)

Today's offering:
Quote
Florida Man   @FloridaMan__

Florida Man tries to Barbecue Child Molesters http://gestyy.com/w2oJV6 (http://gestyy.com/w2oJV6)
5:19 PM - 28 Jun 2019
The story is from May, here's a better link (https://nypost.com/2018/05/07/man-who-wanted-to-barbecue-all-the-child-molesters-is-charged-with-attempted-murder/).
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 28, 2019, 07:54:31 PM
Florida Man has his own Twitter account: https://twitter.com/FloridaMan__ (https://twitter.com/FloridaMan__)

Today's offering: The story is from May, here's a better link (https://nypost.com/2018/05/07/man-who-wanted-to-barbecue-all-the-child-molesters-is-charged-with-attempted-murder/).

You may have hit the Mother-lode with that Twitter link....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on June 28, 2019, 07:57:46 PM
(https://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/505/465/4ce.png)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Mod1 on June 28, 2019, 08:45:44 PM
I'm going to sticky this, since it's a "running" thread.
It should be easier to find now.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on June 28, 2019, 08:46:38 PM
(https://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/505/465/4ce.png)

Florida Man does not wear sleeves.

Seriously, you people never watched Cops?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 02, 2019, 09:50:04 AM
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets: police
A Florida man pelted his girlfriend in the "head and face area" with sweet and sour sauce packets Sunday because he was angry she had "bought the wrong food from McDonald's," a felony battery complaint said.

Jesus Oscar Ferrer Jr., 30, attacked his girlfriend -- with whom he has a child -- in the couple's motel room in Tampa, police said.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on July 02, 2019, 09:58:52 AM
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets: police
A Florida man pelted his girlfriend in the "head and face area" with sweet and sour sauce packets Sunday because he was angry she had "bought the wrong food from McDonald's," a felony battery complaint said.

Jesus Oscar Ferrer Jr., 30, attacked his girlfriend -- with whom he has a child -- in the couple's motel room in Tampa, police said.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-pelting-girlfriend-with-mcdonalds-sweet-and-sour-packets-report)

Good help is hard to find these days....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on July 02, 2019, 06:42:05 PM
Good help is hard to find these days....

WWJD?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 03, 2019, 07:47:46 AM
Florida man claimed to be Lord of Satan; exposed himself
A North Central Florida man was arrested Monday after Gainesville Police said he yelled at two people and pulled down his pants in front of them.

According to the arrest report, James Davis, 43, approached two people at an apartment parking lot and yelled he was the Lord of Satan to them and he was going to chop the victims’ heads off, throw them into a trash can and called them insulting names.


https://www.wcjb.com/content/news/North-Central-Florida-man-claimed-to-be-Lord-of-Satan-exposed-himself--512109531.html (https://www.wcjb.com/content/news/North-Central-Florida-man-claimed-to-be-Lord-of-Satan-exposed-himself--512109531.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 04, 2019, 10:06:40 AM
Florida man caught feeding wild alligator resists arrest: ‘‘He’s a good boy...and he loves bagels’’
Paul Fortin, 67 (...) told News 6 that he regularly fed Hank the alligator. "He's a good boy. He lets me pet him," Fortin told the channel. "He just sits there and he loves bagels…He was such a good friend."

The alligator-lover added: "It's illegal. It's totally illegal to do it. Did I know it? No. Did I know I couldn't feed a turtle? Alligators? Yeah, I kinda knew that…I don't know, maybe I'm Dr. Doolittle."


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-feeds-alligator-loves-bagels-1447269 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-feeds-alligator-loves-bagels-1447269)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 04, 2019, 10:08:34 AM
Florida man, just released from jail, tried to break into vehicles in the jail parking lot
On Monday, 68-year-old Dennis Libonati was just released from the Pasco County Jail, officials said, but was (...) seen in surveillance video checking the door locks of 26 vehicles, including to sheriff's office vehicles. Detention staff took him into custody.

They said he admitted to trying to enter those vehicles in order to steal them, so he can head home. He said he tried to "hot wire" an ATV, deputies said.


http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/deputies-florida-man-just-released-from-jail-tried-to-break-into-vehicles-in-the-jail-parking-lot (http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/deputies-florida-man-just-released-from-jail-tried-to-break-into-vehicles-in-the-jail-parking-lot)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 07, 2019, 08:28:40 PM
Florida man arrested for driving with a live alligator in passengers seat
Anthony Richardson was pulled over in the area of S.R. 64 and Pioneer Park in Zolfo Springs. Investigators located illegal drugs on his person and prior to searching Richardson’s car when he told detectives he had a live alligator in his front seat.

When asked if he had an alligator trapping/hunting license, Richardson stated he did not and that a friend had given him the gator, which he planned on releasing into the river.

Investigators located a baby alligator in a black bag with its mouth taped shut in the front seat.


https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-driving-with-a-live-alligator-in-passengers-seat/ (https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-driving-with-a-live-alligator-in-passengers-seat/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 12, 2019, 06:08:41 PM
See, Florida Man isn't all bad.
Florida man saves puppy thrown out of car window
Timothy Kauffmann is a hero. He tells WFLA, one day in late June, he was driving along Clay Pit Road in Hillsborough County, when he saw a puppy being tossed out of a car.

“They seem like they waited until the dog got in front of me and they threw it in front of my car, trying to get me to hit it. So, I had to slam on my breaks. I was more scared for the dog than anything,” said Kauffmann. 

From there, Kauffmann was able to get the dog out of traffic and into his car. After taking the pup to his home, feeding and watering the animal, he called 4 Lucky Dogs Pet Rescue.


https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/ (https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on July 12, 2019, 06:34:28 PM
See, Florida Man isn't all bad.
Florida man saves puppy thrown out of car window
Timothy Kauffmann is a hero. He tells WFLA, one day in late June, he was driving along Clay Pit Road in Hillsborough County, when he saw a puppy being tossed out of a car.

“They seem like they waited until the dog got in front of me and they threw it in front of my car, trying to get me to hit it. So, I had to slam on my breaks. I was more scared for the dog than anything,” said Kauffmann. 

From there, Kauffmann was able to get the dog out of traffic and into his car. After taking the pup to his home, feeding and watering the animal, he called 4 Lucky Dogs Pet Rescue.


https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/ (https://www.wwlp.com/news/world/florida-man-saves-puppy-thrown-out-of-car-window/)
Some people are just A$$holes.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Lando Lincoln on July 12, 2019, 08:35:10 PM
You can search "Florida Man" and your birthday...  Here's mine... January 27:

Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing (https://ktla.com/2019/01/27/florida-man-prompts-evacuation-at-taco-bell-after-bringing-grenade-he-found-while-fishing/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on July 12, 2019, 08:55:06 PM
You can search "Florida Man" and your birthday...  Here's mine... January 27:

Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing (https://ktla.com/2019/01/27/florida-man-prompts-evacuation-at-taco-bell-after-bringing-grenade-he-found-while-fishing/)

"Look, nifty bomb.  I'm going to take it straight to Taco Bell!"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 19, 2019, 09:25:45 AM
Florida man foiled in carjacking attempt by a stick shift
The incident occurred Tuesday when an elderly man left his car running with the keys in the ignition while he was putting his walker into the trunk.

According to the sheriff's office, a man, later identified as 25-year-old Jaylen Alexander, allegedly attacked the elderly man, slamming the hood of the trunk on his chest and his walker.

Alexander is accused of then getting into the man's car, locking the doors and trying to drive away. After stalling multiple times, Alexander left the car and took off running, the sheriff's office said. The elderly man told authorities he believed the reason Alexander stalled was because he did not know how to drive a manual transmission


https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/18/us/florida-man-arrested-carjacking-stick-shift-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/18/us/florida-man-arrested-carjacking-stick-shift-trnd/index.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 19, 2019, 09:29:13 AM
Florida man leaves his wife naked on the side of the road, torches her car
Florida man was arrested Saturday after leaving his naked wife at the side of a highway following a beach trip—then setting her car on fire, police say.

Donald Allen Moran, 55, of Pensacola, was booked by deputies from Escambia County Sheriff's Office at roughly 10:10 p.m. on charges of battery and arson, jail records show. He is also accused of targeting another man after starting the blaze, allegedly slapping him on the face.

Police responded to reports of a fire at the 8000 block of Gregg Road and found Moran and the male victim—who has not been named—in a front yard. The victim told officers he spotted Moran pouring gas through the driver's side door and setting it alight, WEAR-TV reported.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-donald-allen-moran-arrested-charged-arson-battery-naked-wife-beach-car-fire-1449404 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-donald-allen-moran-arrested-charged-arson-battery-naked-wife-beach-car-fire-1449404)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 24, 2019, 09:07:30 AM
Florida man gives fake name to cops...the person whose name he used was also wanted for arrest
A 26-year-old Bradenton man is behind bars after providing law enforcement with his brother’s name because he was wanted on felony warrants, Manatee County sheriff’s deputies say.

The only problem is that his brother is wanted, as well.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article233006777.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article233006777.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on July 24, 2019, 09:19:25 AM
She squeezed his testicles so hard he couldn’t walk. Cops say she just wanted sex
Bradenton Herald (https://www.bradenton.com/news/state/florida/article233008942.html?fbclid=IwAR341fgxe-_NNjlmoTewpvysJnAm9qU5l0lc-Qm3kRMK1o_D2RIduyeKJu0#storylink=cpy)
By Mark Young
July 23, 2019 10:53 AM, Updated July 23, 2019 03:03 PM
Quote
A 44-year-old Florida woman was charged with battery after she squeezed her husband’s testicles so hard that he “crumpled over and had trouble walking,” according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

Deputies say Anastacia Tasch on July 22 approached her husband while he was sleeping on the couch and “without provocation or permission walked over to the victim and grabbed his genitals.”

According to the report, Tasch admitted doing so but that she “did this in a sexual manner because she was attempting to arouse the victim in an effort to have sexual intercourse.”  ...

The report did not provide an update on the man’s condition, but the sheriff’s office noted on a press release that perhaps “How about just a kiss next time” would have been a better approach.
Full story and booking photo (https://www.bradenton.com/news/state/florida/article233008942.html?fbclid=IwAR341fgxe-_NNjlmoTewpvysJnAm9qU5l0lc-Qm3kRMK1o_D2RIduyeKJu0)

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: The Ghost on July 24, 2019, 10:08:43 AM
Best headline on the above

Police Pan Florida Woman's 5:30 AM Performance Of The Nutcracker ...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/florida-nutcracker-panned-842019 (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/florida-nutcracker-panned-842019)

I bet the Cracker Barrel cringes when that one come to the Buffett line. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: thackney on July 24, 2019, 10:43:25 AM
I bet the Cracker Barrel cringes when that one come to the Buffett line.

Where did you find a Cracker Barrel with a Buffet?  I'm going need actual directions please.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: The Ghost on July 24, 2019, 03:05:58 PM
Where did you find a Cracker Barrel with a Buffet?  I'm going need actual directions please.

I meant Golden Corral!  Or Ryan's Steakhouse or Shoney's.  I'm going see nile.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: EdJames on July 24, 2019, 03:07:33 PM
I had some trouble at Ryan's once....  but that is a story for a different thread....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: The Ghost on July 24, 2019, 03:10:19 PM
I had some trouble at Ryan's once....  but that is a story for a different thread....

A story like that could get a fellow banned.   333cleo
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on July 25, 2019, 06:22:42 PM
Five guys (five Florida Men) arrested for fighting at Five Guys
A woman told authorities that one of the men was arguing with another man, someone threw a cup, and a door was slammed in a man’s face before an “all-out brawl” broke out, according to a police report obtained by the Orlando Sentinel.

Three juvenile males and two adult males (...) were charged with affray and processed at the Martin County Jail.


https://fox59.com/2019/07/19/5-guys-arrested-after-fight-at-five-guys-burgers-and-fries-in-florida/
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 06, 2019, 09:04:24 AM
Florida man allegedly urinates into ice machine at nightclub
A Florida man was arrested on Saturday after allegedly relieving himself in a nightclub's ice machine, investigators said.

Michael Williams, 28, was at 260 First, a nightclub in St. Petersburg, around 2:30 a.m. when police spotted him "urinating inside the ice chest used to distribute ice throughout," according to court documents obtained by The Smoking Gun.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on August 06, 2019, 01:38:26 PM
Florida man allegedly urinates into ice machine at nightclub
A Florida man was arrested on Saturday after allegedly relieving himself in a nightclub's ice machine, investigators said.

Michael Williams, 28, was at 260 First, a nightclub in St. Petersburg, around 2:30 a.m. when police spotted him "urinating inside the ice chest used to distribute ice throughout," according to court documents obtained by The Smoking Gun.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-pees-ice-machine-nightclub)

@jmyrlefuller


What they SHOULD have done was stop the music,and make a public announcement over the PA that this guy had been caught doing that.

I'm pretty sure that would have discouraged others from doing it in the future.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on August 06, 2019, 02:35:11 PM
@jmyrlefuller


What they SHOULD have done was stop the music,and make a public announcement over the PA that this guy had been caught doing that.

I'm pretty sure that would have discouraged others from doing it in the future.

@sneakypete  It was at 2:30AM.  Sounds like after hours.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: berdie on August 06, 2019, 03:50:49 PM
Between this and the "pee-tato" lady it will give a new definition to "Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?" eventually. happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 10, 2019, 09:41:34 AM
Florida man pulls gun after furniture is delivered late, tells crew he’s ‘shot people for less’
A man from Manatee County is accused of pulling a gun on two furniture delivery men because he was unhappy that they were late. Mitchell Helton, 55, had ordered the goods from the Furniture Warehouse and had been told that they were on their way on August 3.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office said that when the delivery men arrived, the front door was open and Helton told them that he was upset he had to wait so long. When they asked him if he still wanted the furniture, he said, "do whatever you want" and went to his bedroom, according to the police report.

When they started to unload the furniture from their vehicle, Helton allegedly pointed a gun at the men and said, "You know, I've shot people for less," the Bradenton Herald reported.


https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-mitchell-helton-manatee-furniture-1453043 (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-mitchell-helton-manatee-furniture-1453043)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 17, 2019, 10:55:35 AM
Florida man threatens neighbors with nunchucks and bug spray, but only injures himself
Larry Adams, 61, was arrested after the bizarre confrontation, which residents said was sparked by loud music coming from a car outside a Daytona Beach apartment complex late Monday night, FOX35 Orlando reported. One neighbor told the station Adams initially tried to frighten the group, but the bid backfired – literally – when he struck the car frame with the nunchucks and the martial arts weapon unexpectedly bounced off the vehicle's body and smashed into his face.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-nunchucks-hits-self (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-nunchucks-hits-self)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on August 17, 2019, 04:04:45 PM
Quote
When they started to unload the furniture from their vehicle, Helton allegedly pointed a gun at the men and said, "You know, I've shot people for less," the Bradenton Herald reported.
I really wanted to say, "Me, too," but that would be a lie. I just let them deliver the furniture late.  :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on August 17, 2019, 04:09:18 PM
I really wanted to say, "Me, too," but that would be a lie. I just let them deliver the furniture late.  :silly:

I don't see the problem with the actions of this Florida Man.  Slipshod service must not be accepted or even tolerated. 888mouth
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on August 27, 2019, 07:34:57 AM
Florida Man menaced victim with machete for not flushing toilet
Keith Mounts, 46, was busted Saturday night on a felony aggravated assault count following a confrontation at his residence in Hudson, a Tampa suburb.

According to the victim, Mounts “pointed a machete in his face after he told him to flush the toilet after using it.” The man added that Mounts threatened to “chop” him with the weapon.

Mounts subsequently “provided a written statement saying ‘Shit happened,’” cops reported.


http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/assault/stuff-happens-185972 (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/assault/stuff-happens-185972)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on August 31, 2019, 08:28:22 PM
Florida Man Caught Filling Buckets With Gasoline Ahead of Hurricane Dorian
Don't. Just, don't.
By Chris Tsui
The Drive (https://www.thedrive.com/news/29636/florida-man-caught-filling-buckets-with-gasoline-ahead-of-hurricane-dorian)
August 31, 2019

Gas stations in Florida are beginning to run dry as state residents brace for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. That includes the notorious Florida Man, who was spotted at a gas station on Friday filling up nine buckets of unleaded and stashing them in the back of his SUV. File it under things that shouldn't have to be said: this is both illegal and highly dangerous.

The photo was taken by Floridian Amie Wilson and posted to Facebook on Friday afternoon along with a caption bemoaning the state of humanity. It's a beautiful tableau of stupid, the offender determinedly pouring gasoline into one Home Depot 5-gallon bucket after another, stashing them in the back of his old Ford Expedition. Just a fine Florida Man encounter. ...

(https://the-drive.imgix.net/https%3A%2F%2Fapi.thedrive.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2019%2F08%2Fflorida-man-gas-hero.jpg%3Fquality%3D85?w=1440&auto=compress%2Cformat&ixlib=js-1.4.1&s=1d2a88dd849547af46817821e6a8c5a9)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 01, 2019, 03:09:59 AM
Florida Man Caught Filling Buckets With Gasoline Ahead of Hurricane Dorian
Don't. Just, don't.
By Chris Tsui
The Drive (https://www.thedrive.com/news/29636/florida-man-caught-filling-buckets-with-gasoline-ahead-of-hurricane-dorian)
August 31, 2019

Gas stations in Florida are beginning to run dry as state residents brace for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian this weekend. That includes the notorious Florida Man, who was spotted at a gas station on Friday filling up nine buckets of unleaded and stashing them in the back of his SUV. File it under things that shouldn't have to be said: this is both illegal and highly dangerous.

The photo was taken by Floridian Amie Wilson and posted to Facebook on Friday afternoon along with a caption bemoaning the state of humanity. It's a beautiful tableau of stupid, the offender determinedly pouring gasoline into one Home Depot 5-gallon bucket after another, stashing them in the back of his old Ford Expedition. Just a fine Florida Man encounter. ...

(https://the-drive.imgix.net/https%3A%2F%2Fapi.thedrive.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2019%2F08%2Fflorida-man-gas-hero.jpg%3Fquality%3D85?w=1440&auto=compress%2Cformat&ixlib=js-1.4.1&s=1d2a88dd849547af46817821e6a8c5a9)
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 01, 2019, 08:27:16 AM
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....
No sign of lids. I guess he doesn't mind stinking up the back of his SUV with the lovely aroma of gasoline.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 01, 2019, 10:07:46 AM
Not the brightest transport trick. If he had the lids, at least he might not become the next human fireball act....

Assuming his intent was to stockpile fuel somewhere, I wonder how badly the plastic contaminated the gasoline?  I was thinking the same thing about lids, because without them he would have had a lot of gallons slosh out of the buckets well before he got to his destination, even if it was just down the block.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 01, 2019, 12:18:20 PM
Assuming his intent was to stockpile fuel somewhere, I wonder how badly the plastic contaminated the gasoline?  I was thinking the same thing about lids, because without them he would have had a lot of gallons slosh out of the buckets well before he got to his destination, even if it was just down the block.
Right, just one bump.... @mountaineer I have to note that intense hydrocarbon fumes can lead to a 'high'--kids were known in my grandfather's day to lay on the gas tank of the tractor and pull the cap off just to get a buzz from the (then) pleasant smell of the gasoline. My grandfather said that other additives were added to make it smell worse not long after that.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 10, 2019, 08:41:30 PM
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

Quote
A 37-year old man suffering some very serious groin injuries after being bitten by a pit bull, was admitted at the Ryder Trauma Center, this morning.

Jesus Ramon Sanchez, from the Little Havana neighborhood in Miami, was allegedly attempting to engage in sexual intercourse with a 4-year old male pit bull, when the dog defended itself by tearing off the man’s genitals with its teeth.

The incident took place around 8:30 this morning, in the Allen Morris Dog Park in Miami.

According to witnesses, 4-year old Spanky, was playing with his owner in the park when Mister Sanchez grabbed him and attempted to rape him.

http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/ (http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 10, 2019, 08:44:37 PM
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

According to witnesses, 4-year old Spanky,

@Cyber Liberty

"Spanky"????  LOL!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 10, 2019, 08:58:30 PM
@Cyber Liberty

"Spanky"????  LOL!

@sneakypete

IKR???
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on September 10, 2019, 08:59:26 PM
Florida: Man Emasculated During Failed Attempt To Rape Pit Bull

http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/ (http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/florida-man-emasculated-during-failed-attempt-to-rape-pit-bull/)

Just so much wrong in that.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 10, 2019, 09:04:24 PM
Just so much wrong in that.

I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.

(http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/pitbull.jpg)

"Spanky"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on September 10, 2019, 09:06:01 PM
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.

(http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/pitbull.jpg)

"Spanky"

Awwww.  I dislike pits, but he's really cute.

And, good dog. 
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 10, 2019, 09:30:55 PM
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.

(http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/pitbull.jpg)

"Spanky"

@Cyber Liberty

Don't recall EVER seeing a dog with such a self-satisfied look on his face before.

GOOD dog!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on September 10, 2019, 10:01:15 PM
I just hope they don't put down that Good Dawg.

(http://weheartanimalssomuch.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/pitbull.jpg)

"Spanky"

They will, and it's probably a good thing.  What if it had just been a little kid trying to climb up and go for a ride?  I got bit by my GM's dog for doing that, and it's borderline whether that was acceptable.  Drawing blood, let alone removing body parts, is definitely not.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 10, 2019, 11:03:29 PM
They will, and it's probably a good thing.  What if it had just been a little kid trying to climb up and go for a ride?  I got bit by my GM's dog for doing that, and it's borderline whether that was acceptable.  Drawing blood, let alone removing body parts, is definitely not.

@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on September 11, 2019, 12:32:43 AM
@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.

Dogs don't get the concept of rape, anal or otherwise.  And it certainly could have protected itself by spinning around and snapping.  Instead, it chose to use its teeth to make contact and maul a human.

Given the context, from a human perspective, the guy got what he deserved.  But that doesn't change the fact that this animal is a danger to humans.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 11, 2019, 03:24:31 AM
Dogs don't get the concept of rape, anal or otherwise.  And it certainly could have protected itself by spinning around and snapping.  Instead, it chose to use its teeth to make contact and maul a human.

Given the context, from a human perspective, the guy got what he deserved.  But that doesn't change the fact that this animal is a danger to humans.
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.

Even a dog knows that some parts don't belong in some places. It might not understand legal terms, but unnatural acts are, well, against nature, and that much the dog understands.
Self defense is a natural act, and the dog will defend itself.

For the guy to get mauled, he likely wasn't just waving his 'willie' from behind a trench coat, he'd have to be without clothing, fully exposed enough to take a poke, and insistent. That would leave him open to damage because there would be little between him and the dog's teeth but the rest of the dog at the time of the offense.
You think this dog is a danger to humans, but there is apparently no history of it harming anyone who wasn't trying to stick their penis in the out door.
I think this dog has rendered a public service to dogs and God only knows what other creatures (or humans, even) who can sleep more soundly because a sexual predator who has no rules has been taken out of play.

I'm with @sneakypete
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on September 11, 2019, 07:15:33 AM
 :thumbsup:
@InHeavenThereIsNoBeer

Anybody that votes to put him down needs to be put down. He was doing nothing more than protecting himself from anal rape.

I personally find it hard to find fault with what he did,and dogs seem to have no trouble distinguishing with a kid trying to play with them,and an adult that is trying to harm them.
:thumbsup: There are occasions when an older dog might snap at a child that is playing to rough or feels cornered, but those are the exceptions not the rule.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on September 11, 2019, 07:17:44 AM
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.

Even a dog knows that some parts don't belong in some places. It might not understand legal terms, but unnatural acts are, well, against nature, and that much the dog understands.
Self defense is a natural act, and the dog will defend itself.

For the guy to get mauled, he likely wasn't just waving his 'willie' from behind a trench coat, he'd have to be without clothing, fully exposed enough to take a poke, and insistent. That would leave him open to damage because there would be little between him and the dog's teeth but the rest of the dog at the time of the offense.
You think this dog is a danger to humans, but there is apparently no history of it harming anyone who wasn't trying to stick their penis in the out door.
I think this dog has rendered a public service to dogs and God only knows what other creatures (or humans, even) who can sleep more soundly because a sexual predator who has no rules has been taken out of play.

I'm with @sneakypete
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 11, 2019, 12:14:57 PM
Nonsense.

Utter nonsense. Female dogs will rebuff the advances of a male they aren't interested in, with teeth, if necessary. Male dogs will, on rare occasion, mount another male to settle matters of dominance once and for all. It does not appear to be a consensual act, and the nondominant male will either leave or slink away.



@Smokin Joe

Absolutely. We had a pair of Chesapeake Bay Retrievers when I was a kid,and tried to breed the female with males other than her mate,and she would flat out fight any male dog that tried to get close to her when she was in heat that wasn't her normal mate. Only time in my or her life I ever knew of her to be aggressive with any living creature.

And,of course,we had to take her mate away before we could even put the strange male in the dog pen with her,or it would have gotten truly ugly. He was one of the biggest and strongest Chesapeake Retrievers I have ever seen,as well as being independent minded.  If you took him hunting and shot twice without giving him a duck to retrieve,he would jump in the water,swim to shore,and walk home. I used to warn people about this that wanted to borrow him for duck hunting,and none of them believed me until it happened to them. No amount of calling could get him to come back,but I suspect offering him your lunch might have done the trick.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on September 11, 2019, 02:28:39 PM
@Smokin Joe

Absolutely. We had a pair of Chesapeake Bay Retrievers when I was a kid,and tried to breed the female with males other than her mate,and she would flat out fight any male dog that tried to get close to her when she was in heat that wasn't her normal mate. Only time in my or her life I ever knew of her to be aggressive with any living creature.

And,of course,we had to take her mate away before we could even put the strange male in the dog pen with her,or it would have gotten truly ugly. He was one of the biggest and strongest Chesapeake Retrievers I have ever seen,as well as being independent minded.  If you took him hunting and shot twice without giving him a duck to retrieve,he would jump in the water,swim to shore,and walk home. I used to warn people about this that wanted to borrow him for duck hunting,and none of them believed me until it happened to them. No amount of calling could get him to come back,but I suspect offering him your lunch might have done the trick.
My Father and his cousins owned a raccoon hound that if the animal didn't come out of the tree you better go up and get it, or he would not hunt with you the rest of the day.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 11, 2019, 06:51:26 PM
My Father and his cousins owned a raccoon hound that if the animal didn't come out of the tree you better go up and get it, or he would not hunt with you the rest of the day.

@verga

It's good to see that someone has standards,be it man or beast.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: berdie on September 12, 2019, 04:33:55 PM
I've been wondering what happened to Florida Man.  Sounds like he is....indisposed...right now. happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 12, 2019, 04:54:01 PM
I've been wondering what happened to Florida Man.  Sounds like he is....indisposed...right now. happy77

He's not In Season right now.  Give it a few months..lol!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: berdie on September 12, 2019, 05:56:19 PM
He's not In Season right now.  Give it a few months..lol!



*chuckle*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 12, 2019, 06:02:50 PM
Florida Man Smashes 20 Cars, Says 'I Did It Because Donald Trump Owes Me One Trillion Dollars'
By Scott McDonald
On 9/10/19 at 8:24 PM EDT

A homeless man in Florida went on a car vandalism spree Monday, smashing at least 20 vehicles before getting tired and falling asleep on a nearby bench. When questioned by authorities, he said it happened because President Donald Trump "owes me one trillion dollars."

The Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office in a press release identified the man as 30-year-old Justin James Wilson, and said he damaged at least 20 cars or more that were parked at the Holiday Inn Resort on Okaloosa Island.

The sheriff's office stated Wilson faces 14 counts of felony criminal mischief and six counts of misdemeanor criminal mischief for an estimated $30,000 in damages to at least 20 cars.

When deputies located Wilson nearby, he confessed to the officers and said, "Take me to jail. I did it because Donald Trump owes me one trillion dollars and these vehicles belong to the mafia."  ... More at Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-smashes-20-cars-says-i-did-it-because-donald-trump-owes-me-one-trillion-dollars-1458647)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: roamer_1 on September 12, 2019, 06:14:01 PM
I've been wondering what happened to Florida Man.  Sounds like he is....indisposed...right now. happy77

He got pinched for parole violations and sent back to NYC...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on September 13, 2019, 08:03:50 AM
Florida man throws raw burger meat on car, Victim's vehicle not damaged
A homeless Florida man threw raw hamburger meat on the hood of another man's car for an unknown reason, according to the Cocoa Police Department.

The victim was able to hose off the meat from his car. It did not cause any damage.

Less than two hours later, a witness saw Lytle walking into a nearby wooded area. Police said they found him asleep in a treeline.


https://www.clickorlando.com/strange-florida/florida-man-throws-raw-burger-meat-on-victims-car-police-say (https://www.clickorlando.com/strange-florida/florida-man-throws-raw-burger-meat-on-victims-car-police-say)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on September 13, 2019, 08:05:11 AM
I've been wondering what happened to Florida Man.  Sounds like he is....indisposed...right now. happy77
It's been quiet on the Florida Man front. I've been perusing the wires, but I think Dorian scared him off... or at least drowned out the news coverage.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 13, 2019, 11:03:47 AM
It's been quiet on the Florida Man front. I've been perusing the wires, but I think Dorian scared him off... or at least drowned out the news coverage.

@jmyrlefuller

Not a chance! If there is one thing Florida Man has proven,it is that he is fearless.

Probably still drunk and passed out somewhere.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: corbe on September 16, 2019, 10:45:25 PM
Florida couple had sex in the back of a police car after DUI arrest, cops say

By C. Isaiah Smalls II
 
September 16, 2019 03:39 PM, Updated 7 hours ago


 
(https://www.miamiherald.com/latest-news/wexd8p/picture235149977/alternates/LANDSCAPE_1140/FLORIDA%20COUPLE%20SEX.png) 
 
 Megan Mondanaro (left) and Aaron Thomas (right) Nassau County Sheriff's Office
 
There is a time and place for everything. And, more often then not, that place is rarely in the back of a police car.

A Florida couple face a list of charges after a deputy said they had sex in the back of his patrol car.

The Nassau County deputy originally arrested 31-year-old Aaron Thomas and 35-year-old Megan Mondanaro on DUI charges. And then things got a little frisky in the back seat.

According to an arrest report, a deputy observed the couple riding bikes with no lights in the middle of South Fletcher Avenue. After they narrowly escaped being hit by a car, the deputy pulled them over. He noted that the couple smelled from alcohol and had bloodshot eyes.

Eventually, the deputy placed the couple in the backseat of his patrol car. That’s when the couple started going at it.

Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article235144277.html#storylink=cpy (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article235144277.html#storylink=cpy)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 16, 2019, 11:11:54 PM
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!  Happened to her face? :thud:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: 240B on September 17, 2019, 12:03:09 AM
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!  Happened to her face? :thud:
Crack cocaine. Very common to have sores on the face.
Crack and Meth make the user think there are 'bugs' under their skin.
They scratch their skin off trying to get to them.
(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ebaumsworld.com%2FmediaFiles%2Fpicture%2F1035099%2F82977622.jpg)


(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fawarenessact.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F05%2Fmeth.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 17, 2019, 10:46:05 AM
Crack cocaine. Very common to have sores on the face.
Crack and Meth make the user think there are 'bugs' under their skin.
They scratch their skin off trying to get to them.
(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ebaumsworld.com%2FmediaFiles%2Fpicture%2F1035099%2F82977622.jpg)


(https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fawarenessact.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F05%2Fmeth.jpg)

@240B

Thanks,I didn't know that. Had seen it before and had no idea what caused it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 17, 2019, 10:49:04 AM
@240B

Thanks,I didn't know that. Had seen it before and had no idea what caused it.

I usually associate that condition with Meth heads, but it could be crack, too.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: 240B on September 17, 2019, 10:55:15 AM
@240B

Thanks,I didn't know that. Had seen it before and had no idea what caused it.
@sneakypete
The sores are all over their body. The face is just what you see first.
Saw a homeless guy on Meth, or Crack, or Bug Spray, Bath Salts,
or who knows what in the world. Late teens, early twenties?
He had just crawled out of his homeless camp in the woods.
Covered with sores from head to toe, along with bed bugs and fleas. Incoherent.
He sat on the bench chewing sores on his arm, exactly like a dog would do.
He had morphed from human into some kind of animal.
Didn't want food, because he couldn't eat.
His whole life was entirely about his next fix. That was his whole world.
Yes he was dangerous. Like a feral dog.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: 240B on September 19, 2019, 01:16:58 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/ta6d812.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: goatprairie on September 19, 2019, 02:05:52 PM
Interestingly enough, earlier this year some guy was shot dead by security forces after breaking into the Area 51 facility and confronting the security forces with some metallic object in his hand.  :MiniGun:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 20, 2019, 02:33:55 AM
Interestingly enough, earlier this year some guy was shot dead by security forces after breaking into the Area 51 facility and confronting the security forces with some metallic object in his hand.  :MiniGun:
It is my understanding that the security folks there have about as much of a sense of humor as the teams guarding missile silos in this neck of the woods. None. Locked and loaded. Some things you just don't mess with.  **nononono*
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on September 20, 2019, 05:35:29 AM
It is my understanding that the security folks there have about as much of a sense of humor as the teams guarding missile silos in this neck of the woods. None. Locked and loaded. Some things you just don't mess with.  **nononono*
Same thing with crossing the flight lines without the proper badge on military bases. When I lived up north there was a Air Force officer that committed suicide that way.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on September 23, 2019, 12:51:06 AM
Same thing with crossing the flight lines without the proper badge on military bases. When I lived up north there was a Air Force officer that committed suicide that way.
Pity..What a waste. But the guys who have to take the shot have a job to do, even though it sucks some days.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: corbe on September 23, 2019, 11:35:23 AM
Ballsy: FL woman bites camel’s testicles to escape being crushed

September 23, 2019 | Victor Rantala


(https://www.bizpacreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/SG-Caspar-the-camel-1024x534.jpg)
Screen capture … Caspar the camel … Credit: The Advocate

 File this in stories beyond the weird: A woman in Louisiana clenched her teeth in determination last week when she found herself being crushed by a 600-pound camel.

What did she do? She bit the animal’s testicles to free herself, of course.

On Thursday a Florida woman at the Tiger Truck Stop in Gross Tete, Louisiana, followed her deaf dog into a petting zoo enclosure that contained a camel named Caspar. The woman and her husband spooked Caspar before the camel pinned the woman against a wall and sat on her.

“She said, ‘I bit his balls to get him off of me, I bit his testicles to get him off of me,’” Iberville Parish Deputy Louis Hamilton Jr. told The Advocate.

The woman was taken to a hospital and her condition is unknown.

<..snip..>

https://www.bizpacreview.com/2019/09/23/ballsy-fl-woman-bites-camels-testicles-to-escape-being-crushed-828821 (https://www.bizpacreview.com/2019/09/23/ballsy-fl-woman-bites-camels-testicles-to-escape-being-crushed-828821)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 23, 2019, 11:39:22 AM
I wonder how much Listerine it took to get the taste of Achmed out of her mouth?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 23, 2019, 11:45:16 AM
Quote
“The woman’s husband had been throwing treats to their dog under Caspar the camel’s fence Thursday evening before the dog went inside, the Iberville Parish Sheriff’s Office said Sunday,” reported The Advocate. “After the dog began interacting with the camel, the couple crawled in to get it, officials said.

Not just Florida Man,but Florida Couple. Twice as much dumbass in one packaged unit.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 23, 2019, 11:46:36 AM
I wonder how much Listerine it took to get the taste of Achmed out of her mouth?

@Cyber Liberty

She's from Florida,so she has probably tasted worse.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sighlass on September 25, 2019, 09:52:03 PM
I couldn't find the topic "Florida Man" for some reason... Maybe a mod will move this there... but it is funny.

Florida Man Dressed as Fred Flintstone Gets Pulled over for Speeding.

https://altdriver.com/news/florida-fred-flintstone-speeding/?utm_source=facebook

(https://i.postimg.cc/Hk8x46xB/Flintstone.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on September 27, 2019, 09:06:48 AM
Florida teen attacks elderly relatives over tomatoes after grandma claims she ate 'more than her fair share'
A homey scene turned bizarrely violent in Florida when a young woman got into a fight with her elderly family members at the dinner table over the number of tomatoes she could eat. While the disagreement started with a fight over the food, it ended with the girl allegedly attempting to stab her grandfather.

Katie Jade Gates, 19, has been charged with two felonies over the Sept. 12 incident, Fox 51 reported. She’s been accused of aggravated assault and aggravated battery on a victim over the age of 65.


https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/teen-attacks-elderly-relatives-tomatoes (https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/teen-attacks-elderly-relatives-tomatoes)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on September 27, 2019, 09:24:16 AM
Good to see "floridamanism" is not limited by sex.
Quote
...  The young woman then allegedly chased her grandfather out of the house while brandishing a knife and threatened to stab him in the face. Gates allegedly made stabbing and poking motions with the knife at her grandfather....
I'm struck by her cheery mug shot, though.
(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/09/1862/1048/Katie-Jade-Gates-mugshot.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on September 27, 2019, 09:51:40 AM
And it's not even Thanksgiving!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 27, 2019, 11:00:27 AM
Good to see "floridamanism" is not limited by sex.I'm struck by her cheery mug shot, though.
(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/09/1862/1048/Katie-Jade-Gates-mugshot.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)

@mountaineer

Me,too.Maybe she is happy because her "meth face" cleared up so she could take a good photo?

 Now,consider this,chances are several unsuspecting men will end up marrying her. What could possibly go wrong there?

If you believe in prayer,pray for them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on September 30, 2019, 01:12:59 PM
Florida man arrested, caught on video using samurai sword to fight over wheelbarrow
A Florida man was arrested Monday in a months-old attack during which he allegedly using a samurai sword to threaten and assault a jogger as they fought over a wheelbarrow the victim said he found in a pile of trash.

Curtis Miller, 54, was taken into custody on attempted murder charges stemming from an altercation on July 15, according to online records from the Broward County Sheriff's Office.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-samurai-sword-wheelbarrow (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-samurai-sword-wheelbarrow)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on September 30, 2019, 01:37:30 PM
Florida man arrested, caught on video using samurai sword to fight over wheelbarrow
A Florida man was arrested Monday in a months-old attack during which he allegedly using a samurai sword to threaten and assault a jogger as they fought over a wheelbarrow the victim said he found in a pile of trash.

Curtis Miller, 54, was taken into custody on attempted murder charges stemming from an altercation on July 15, according to online records from the Broward County Sheriff's Office.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-samurai-sword-wheelbarrow (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-samurai-sword-wheelbarrow)

@jmyrlefuller

"Hmm,lemme see,here. Ah got me wunna dem Sammie rye sords,an now Ah needs me a wheelbarro ta take home thu stuff ah chop up........,HAY,LEGGO MY DAM WHEELBARRO! Ah saw hit furst!"
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: 240B on October 01, 2019, 05:23:25 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/SVejdXE.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: goatprairie on October 01, 2019, 05:32:04 PM
When is The Florida Man tv reality series coming out?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: berdie on October 01, 2019, 05:36:23 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/SVejdXE.jpg)




 :terror: :terror: *bouche* 9999what
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on October 01, 2019, 05:37:10 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/SVejdXE.jpg)

Just for the record, fake story and photo of unrelated drug offender.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: 240B on October 01, 2019, 05:58:24 PM
Just for the record, fake story and photo of unrelated drug offender.
Still worth the laugh! That's some funny stuff.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 01, 2019, 06:49:35 PM
Published 3 days ago
Florida man's murder plot against wife backfires after he's left paralyzed
By Louis Casiano | Fox News

A Virginia judge on Wednesday denied bond to a Florida man whose alleged plot to murder his wife went awry earlier this month when he was shot and paralyzed.

Henry Frank Herbig, 65, appeared in court via video conference from his jail hospital bed. He is charged with aggravated malicious wounding and breaking and entering with intent to commit a felony.

Prosecutors said Herbig, 65, broke into the Virginia Beach home of his estranged wife on Sept. 8 and assaulted her and her daughter with a wrench, WGNT-TV in Norfolk reported.

He was shot in the spine by his stepdaughter during the attack and left paralyzed. Authorities determined she acted in self-defense and did not press charges.  ...  Rest of story at FOX News (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-mans-murder-plot-against-wife-backfires-after-hes-left-paralyzed)
(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/09/1862/1048/HH.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
That's a shame
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 01, 2019, 07:01:50 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/SVejdXE.jpg)

@240B

Ok,I have heard of strange "hobbies",but I'm guessing that one won't be topped anytime soon.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 01, 2019, 07:03:13 PM
Just for the record, fake story and photo of unrelated drug offender.

@Sanguine

Thank you. I was actually a little bit shocked by that one,and I don't shock easily.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on October 01, 2019, 07:50:24 PM
@Sanguine

Thank you. I was actually a little bit shocked by that one,and I don't shock easily.

Looking out for you,  Pete.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 04, 2019, 08:32:05 AM
Startled Florida man fatally shoots son-in-law during birthday surprise
By Tamar Lapin
October 3, 2019
Quote
A Florida man was so startled when his son-in-law jumped out from behind some bushes for a birthday surprise that he shot and killed him, authorities said Thursday.

Richard Dennis, 61, won’t be charged in the accidental shooting of his daughter’s husband, Christopher Bergan, Santa Rosa Sheriff Bob Johnson told reporters at a news conference.

Bergan, 37, had flown in from Norway on Tuesday for the surprise and at around 11:30 p.m. knocked on the back door of his father-in-law’s Gulf Breeze home, then hid behind bushes.  ...

Earlier that evening, Dennis had gotten into an argument with another relative because that person had come by the home and loudly banged on the front door.

When he heard the loud raps again an hour later, Dennis believed it was that same relative and opened the door while armed. ...
Full story (https://nypost.com/2019/10/03/startled-florida-man-fatally-shoots-son-in-law-during-birthday-surprise/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sanguine on October 04, 2019, 09:35:55 AM
Startled Florida man fatally shoots son-in-law during birthday surprise
By Tamar Lapin
October 3, 2019 Full story (https://nypost.com/2019/10/03/startled-florida-man-fatally-shoots-son-in-law-during-birthday-surprise/)

That's so sad!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 04, 2019, 09:01:43 PM
One of the basic rules: Always make sure of your target, and what is behind it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: GtHawk on October 04, 2019, 09:53:19 PM
One of the basic rules: Always make sure of your target, and what is behind it.
Unless you're Joe 'shotgun' Biden happy77
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 05, 2019, 09:08:11 AM
Florida woman strikes again, a triumph for equality, the sisterhood and all that.
Quote
Florida woman arrested after parents find 24 pipe bombs in her bedroom
By John Bowden - 10/04/19 12:34 PM EDT

A Florida woman was arrested Friday after her parents called the police following their discovery of two dozen pipe bombs in her bedroom.

Local news affiliate Fox 13 reported that Michelle Louise Kolts, 27, of Wimauma, Fla., was arrested after police discovered a weapons cache in her room alongside materials and literature about domestic terrorism and mass shootings.

Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister said at a press conference that Kolts had the supplies necessary to kill thousands of Americans. Other weapons seized alongside the pipe bombs included knives, nunchucks and a number of pellet guns. ...
More (https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/464399-florida-woman-arrested-after-parents-find-24-pipe-bombs-in-her-bedroom)

Still living with the parents at age 27.

Another account at the Tampa Bay Times (https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2019/10/04/wimauma-woman-arrested-for-making-two-dozen-pipe-bombs-deputies-say/) says:
Quote
"What is even more frightening is that is that each pipe bomb contained nails, metallic pellets or a combination of both and would have taken less than 60 seconds per device to add the powder and fuse material she already possesses to detonate each bomb," Chronister said.
(https://www.tampabay.com/resizer/nyh4aa9JWjF-MR8WTiCV54BBWvY=/200x0/smart/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tbt.s3.amazonaws.com/public/E6QZKCJKAJDILH75RXJQI3ZRSE.jpg)
What, me worry?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Axeslinger on October 05, 2019, 09:11:44 AM
That’s a 27 year old woman?!?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: xyno on October 05, 2019, 09:19:21 AM
That’s a 27 year old woman?!?

I wouldn't be "I'm-gonna-build-a-crap-load-of-pipe-bombs" frustrated but I'd be frustrated too.  Yikes.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 06, 2019, 08:01:50 AM
Florida woman strikes again, a triumph for equality, the sisterhood and all that.More (https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/464399-florida-woman-arrested-after-parents-find-24-pipe-bombs-in-her-bedroom)

Still living with the parents at age 27.

Another account at the Tampa Bay Times (https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime/2019/10/04/wimauma-woman-arrested-for-making-two-dozen-pipe-bombs-deputies-say/) says:(https://www.tampabay.com/resizer/nyh4aa9JWjF-MR8WTiCV54BBWvY=/200x0/smart/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tbt.s3.amazonaws.com/public/E6QZKCJKAJDILH75RXJQI3ZRSE.jpg)
What, me worry?
Gee, mom, they're maracas....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 07, 2019, 02:17:05 PM
The way to a woman's heart ...
Quote
Florida man arrested after pulling machete on woman who refused to date him: Records
Posted: 5:43 PM, Oct 05, 2019
Updated: 10:13 AM, Oct 06, 2019
By: WFTS Digital Staff

CLEARWATER, Fla. — A man in Clearwater is facing aggravated assault charges after he pulled a machete on a woman who refused to date him, according to arrest records.

Clearwater Police arrested Leonard Thomas, 55, just before 7 p.m. on Friday night. Police say Thomas and the victim were arguing when he became angry because she wouldn't date him. Thomas pulled the machete from a sheath on his belt and raised it toward the victim and said "I'll cut you up," according to police.   ...
More (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-after-pulling-machete-on-woman-who-refused-to-date-him-records)
(https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/3bccd94/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1000x563+0+1/resize/1280x720!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fewscripps.brightspotcdn.com%2Ffa%2Fe3%2F363bd5f6415bb8d004b0be67236c%2Fleonard-thomas.png)

Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 08, 2019, 07:24:20 PM
Palm City man accused of enticing alligator to bite him, pouring beer in its mouth
Sara Marino, Treasure Coast Newspapers Published 3:33 p.m. ET Oct. 7, 2019 | Updated 10:49 a.m. ET Oct. 8, 2019

PALM CITY— A Hobe Sound man is accused of enticing an alligator to bite his arm and pouring beer into the reptile's mouth after his friend caught the animal.

Timothy Kepke, 27, of the 6200 block of Southeast Croton Place in Hobe Sound and Noah Osborne, 22, of the 3000 block of South Kanner Highway in Stuart were both arrested Oct. 3 on one felony charge each of unlawfully taking an alligator.

In August, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission got a complaint about Kepke holding an alligator and enticing the reptile to bite his right forearm and then pouring beer in the animal's mouth, according to a FWC report.  ... More at News-Press (https://www.news-press.com/story/news/crime/martin-county/2019/10/07/hobe-sound-man-accused-pouring-beer-into-alligators-mouth/3898854002/)

(https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2019/10/07/PTCN/32cbd87a-ab5c-40e0-a3b0-c057e5f07195-Noah_Osborne_left_and_Timothy_Kepke_right.jpg?width=540&height=&fit=bounds&auto=webp)
Osborne, left; Kepke, right
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 09, 2019, 10:48:59 AM
The way to a woman's heart ...More (https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-man-arrested-after-pulling-machete-on-woman-who-refused-to-date-him-records)
(https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/3bccd94/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1000x563+0+1/resize/1280x720!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fewscripps.brightspotcdn.com%2Ffa%2Fe3%2F363bd5f6415bb8d004b0be67236c%2Fleonard-thomas.png)
Second rib down, next to the sternum....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: goatprairie on October 09, 2019, 11:22:30 AM
Second rib down, next to the sternum....
I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 09, 2019, 11:32:55 AM
I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.
Well, that's the quickest way to her heart, using the tools he had at hand. (I was being sarcastic, if reasonably anatomically accurate). Likely flowers and chocolates would have worked better for both him and her.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 09, 2019, 11:34:16 AM
I guess flowers and a box of chocolates just won't do anymore. Or maybe I'm just not aware of the Florida Man dating techniques.

@goatprairie

I'm guessing meth and maddog would be more appropriate.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 09, 2019, 11:43:19 AM
@goatprairie

I'm guessing meth and maddog would be more appropriate.
Well, when you consider likelyhood of success in one date....

...but'cha might catch something if ya aren't wearing a raincoat.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 09, 2019, 03:06:26 PM
Well, when you consider likelyhood of success in one date....

...but'cha might catch something if ya aren't wearing a raincoat.

@Smokin Joe

I think VD must be afraid of a lot of those people,or there wouldn't be so many of them.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 09, 2019, 03:11:15 PM
@Smokin Joe

I think VD must be afraid of a lot of those people,or there wouldn't be so many of them.
Can't see the chancres for the other sores...Maybe Meth kills spirochetes?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 09, 2019, 03:58:04 PM
"We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better...stronger...faster."

Florida Man 2.0
Inside the ‘genius tendencies’ of Jacksonville Jaguars QB Gardner Minshew


https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/27801045/florida-man-20-genius-tendencies-jacksonville-jaguars-qb-gardner-minshew (https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/27801045/florida-man-20-genius-tendencies-jacksonville-jaguars-qb-gardner-minshew)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 09, 2019, 04:04:30 PM
(rm dupe)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 09, 2019, 04:12:45 PM
Florida man pours beer into alligator’s mouth, encourages it to bite him
Yep, posted that one last night, along with the ever popular mugshots.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 09, 2019, 04:26:52 PM
Yep, posted that one last night, along with the ever popular mugshots.  :laugh:
Duplicate removed in due course.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 09, 2019, 04:33:00 PM
How does that "thought" enter one's head, that is, to pour beer down a gator's throat? I could live 25 years in Florida and never consider that an option.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 09, 2019, 09:11:18 PM
How does that "thought" enter one's head, that is, to pour beer down a gator's throat? I could live 25 years in Florida and never consider that an option.
I suspect it involves pouring beer down one's own throat first.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 10, 2019, 09:57:21 AM
Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn
(https://i2.wp.com/www.wkrg.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/49/2019/10/img_5904.jpg?)

Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head. Strickland crawled on top of the woman and put a knife to her throat, the warrant says.

Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.


https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/ (https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: goatprairie on October 10, 2019, 10:03:04 AM
Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn
(https://i2.wp.com/www.wkrg.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/49/2019/10/img_5904.jpg?)

Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head. Strickland crawled on top of the woman and put a knife to her throat, the warrant says.

Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.


https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/ (https://www.wkrg.com/news/ecso-pensacola-burglar-wearing-camouflage-headrest-womens-clothes-forces-woman-to-watch-porn/)
Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
What's next.....bringing your pet gator to the date and forcing the woman to stick her head down the gator's mouth?
Florida Man sure has some weird courting methods.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 10, 2019, 10:19:48 AM
Quote
and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.
:thud:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 10, 2019, 10:26:24 AM
Florida man, wearing camouflage headrest and women's clothes, forces woman to watch porn
(https://i2.wp.com/www.wkrg.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/49/2019/10/img_5904.jpg?)

Christopher Strickland, 36, entered the woman’s home on June 2 while she home alone with her infant.

Deputies said Strickland entered her bedroom wearing women’s clothing, including a red and pink bra, and a camouflage vehicle headrest on his head.


@jmyrlefuller

Dood bees stylish!


Quote
Strickland then dragged her into the home’s living room and forced her to watch pornography on his phone while he masturbated, according to deputies. The woman told deputies Strickland had left his clothes on her bedroom floor and attempted to put on her baby’s clothes.

Who says it's hard to find affordable entertainment? This guy even makes house calls and puts on a FREE show!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 10, 2019, 10:28:57 AM

Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
 

@goatprairie

What do you mean by "now"?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: InHeavenThereIsNoBeer on October 10, 2019, 03:36:38 PM
Okay, holding a machete to a woman's throat, wearing women's clothes while masturbating on top of a woman with a knife to her throat are now acceptable dating techniques for Florida Man?
What's next.....bringing your pet gator to the date and forcing the woman to stick her head down the gator's mouth?
Florida Man sure has some weird courting methods.

No, gators are strictly third date only.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: xyno on October 11, 2019, 02:47:15 PM
It ain't Florida Man but it is next of kin:

Arkansas woman claims brother fed her 'meth sandwich'
By Nicole Darrah | Fox News

Two Arkansas siblings were arrested on drug charges during the weekend after the sister claimed her brother fed her a "meth sandwich."

Elizabeth Catlett, 29, was pulled over on Sunday in Hot Springs, a city roughly 55 miles southwest of Little Rock, for driving without her headlights on. Her brother, 33-year-old Don Furr, was a passenger in the vehicle.


(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/10/1862/1048/Russell-Furr-e1570715366962.jpeg?ve=1&tl=1)

https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c (https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 11, 2019, 02:54:35 PM
It ain't Florida Man but it is next of kin:

Arkansas woman claims brother fed her 'meth sandwich'
By Nicole Darrah | Fox News

Two Arkansas siblings were arrested on drug charges during the weekend after the sister claimed her brother fed her a "meth sandwich."

Elizabeth Catlett, 29, was pulled over on Sunday in Hot Springs, a city roughly 55 miles southwest of Little Rock, for driving without her headlights on. Her brother, 33-year-old Don Furr, was a passenger in the vehicle.


(https://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/10/1862/1048/Russell-Furr-e1570715366962.jpeg?ve=1&tl=1)

https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c (https://www.foxnews.com/us/arkansas-woman-brother-arrested-meth-sandwich?fbclid=IwAR0bncHmdyYnQVjx4pxd4iHxKCg-_hoTi6ptAoPb-80AANB8IdeEkBi5w1c)

OK, this is AR so I have to ask:  Which one is the brother?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 17, 2019, 07:40:43 AM
Florida man has eaten almost nothing but mac and cheese for 17 years

(F)or 20-year-old Austin Davis, nine times out of 10 he goes to his “ride or die” brand of original Velveeta Shells and Cheese.

For nearly 17 years, Davis, a resident of Keystone Heights near Gainesville, has eaten nothing but macaroni and cheese. “I don’t want to say I’m addicted to mac and cheese, because it sounds so weird,” he said. “But my body won’t let me eat anything else. I didn’t choose to be like this.”


https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/ (https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 17, 2019, 08:32:38 AM
Florida man has eaten almost nothing but mac and cheese for 17 years

(F)or 20-year-old Austin Davis, nine times out of 10 he goes to his “ride or die” brand of original Velveeta Shells and Cheese.

For nearly 17 years, Davis, a resident of Keystone Heights near Gainesville, has eaten nothing but macaroni and cheese. “I don’t want to say I’m addicted to mac and cheese, because it sounds so weird,” he said. “But my body won’t let me eat anything else. I didn’t choose to be like this.”


https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/ (https://www.tampabay.com/news/florida/2019/10/16/florida-man-has-eaten-almost-nothing-but-mac-and-cheese-for-17-years/)

@jmyrlefuller

A "Florida Man Story" I can identify with. I not only can't eat seafood,but feel like vomiting if I smell it cooking. This has been true all my life,and is really weird when you consider I grew up in a family of commercial fishermen,and worked as a commercial fisherman or on a shrimp boat for several years.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: berdie on October 17, 2019, 03:50:09 PM
@jmyrlefuller

A "Florida Man Story" I can identify with. I not only can't eat seafood,but feel like vomiting if I smell it cooking. This has been true all my life,and is really weird when you consider I grew up in a family of commercial fishermen,and worked as a commercial fisherman or on a shrimp boat for several years.




I don't think that's weird at all @sneakypete  given your life experience. :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 19, 2019, 09:16:19 AM
Quote
Naked Florida Man Uses Hammer and Forklift to Damage Warehouse Before Taking a Shower
By Jason Murdock On 10/17/19 at 11:32 AM EDT

A Florida man has pleaded not guilty after being accused of causing more than $1,000 worth of damage at two Cape Coral plumbing businesses, police say.

Joseph Michael Bieniek, 24, was detained by deputies from the Lee County Sheriff's Office last Saturday after being found inside a premises without any clothing and still holding a hammer he allegedly used to smash up windows and doors, the Fort Myers News-Press reported.  ...

The surveillance video shows the man being led out of the business in cuffs, while wearing a blue United Plumbing shirt. "I swear to God I was in the bathroom taking a ****," he can be heard saying, before telling deputies that he worked there. WBBH reported Bieniek initially refused to put down his hammer, which forced police to use a K-9 unit to subdue him.  ...
Full story at Newsweek (https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-crime-joseph-michael-bieniek-arrested-naked-hammer-damage-plumbing-warehouse-1465953)
(https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1537492/joseph-michael-bieniek.webp?w=737&f=2a1f8ac40a3fa2068b1ed4ef238d3878)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 19, 2019, 11:12:43 AM
Quote
Full story at Newsweek

Newsweek is not giving Florida Man reports?

Oh,how the mighty has fallen!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 19, 2019, 12:52:08 PM
Florida woman forces husband to sign divorce papers at gunpoint

45-year-old Pensacola resident Millanie Sherbrook was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill(...) Sherbrook and her husband were arguing about divorce when he refused to sign the papers, saying he would rather handle the matter in court. Deputies say that’s when Sherbrook grabbed a Smith and Wesson .38-caliber handgun, pointed it at her husband and told him to sign the divorce papers.

The man gave into Sherbrook’s demands and signed the divorce papers, but according to WKRG, Sherbrook continued to follow the man with the gun.


https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-florida-woman-forces-husband-to-sign-divorce-papers-at-gunpoint-20191017-fq6bo5q7mrc67eaesfovapk3jm-story.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-florida-woman-forces-husband-to-sign-divorce-papers-at-gunpoint-20191017-fq6bo5q7mrc67eaesfovapk3jm-story.html)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 19, 2019, 12:54:04 PM
Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rziE39JWfs#)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 19, 2019, 01:05:36 PM
Florida woman forces husband to sign divorce papers at gunpoint

45-year-old Pensacola resident Millanie Sherbrook was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill(...) Sherbrook and her husband were arguing about divorce when he refused to sign the papers, saying he would rather handle the matter in court. Deputies say that’s when Sherbrook grabbed a Smith and Wesson .38-caliber handgun, pointed it at her husband and told him to sign the divorce papers.

The man gave into Sherbrook’s demands and signed the divorce papers, but according to WKRG, Sherbrook continued to follow the man with the gun.


https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-florida-woman-forces-husband-to-sign-divorce-papers-at-gunpoint-20191017-fq6bo5q7mrc67eaesfovapk3jm-story.html (https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-florida-woman-forces-husband-to-sign-divorce-papers-at-gunpoint-20191017-fq6bo5q7mrc67eaesfovapk3jm-story.html)

@jmyrlefuller

I will admit to not being the most clever man any of you have ever met when it comes to dealing with wimmins,but even *I* know that when they start pointing guns at you it is a good idea to sign the damn divorce papers.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 21, 2019, 07:49:26 PM
Florida man arrested for DUI on a segway
Deputies say around 4:34 p.m., 48-year-old Andy Sigears was spotted by a lieutenant as he was driving a segway eastbound on Dunson Road, which is also where a Polk County Sheriff’s Office substation is located.

The lieutenant who saw Sigears said he was in the middle of the westbound lanes, unsteady and swerving while impeding traffic. Several cars were seen going around Sigears by going into the opposite lane of traffic.


https://www.wfla.com/news/polk-county/man-arrested-for-dui-on-segway-in-polk-county/ (https://www.wfla.com/news/polk-county/man-arrested-for-dui-on-segway-in-polk-county/)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 21, 2019, 08:23:59 PM
Had to look it up to see what a Segway is.

We country people are a simple people,and weuns just doan no bout all that fancy stuff.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 21, 2019, 08:27:01 PM
Had to look it up to see what a Segway is.

We country people are a simple people,and weuns just doan no bout all that fancy stuff.
Truth be told, I'm surprised they still exist.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 21, 2019, 08:34:21 PM
Truth be told, I'm surprised they still exist.

Police Departments all around the country have a heavy investment in keeping these car-priced gizmos going.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 24, 2019, 10:14:46 PM
Police Departments all around the country have a heavy investment in keeping these car-priced gizmos going.
Not here. They don't come in 4WD...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 24, 2019, 10:36:33 PM
Not here. They don't come in 4WD...

I should clarify:  "Urban" Police....

A Segway would be a total joke in the sticks.  :laugh:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 24, 2019, 10:50:58 PM
I should clarify:  "Urban" Police....

A Segway would be a total joke in the sticks.  :laugh:
:beer:
Oh, we have our isolated islands of urbanity, but I just can't see one busting snowdrifts...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 25, 2019, 03:34:17 AM
I should clarify:  "Urban" Police....

A Segway would be a total joke in the sticks.  :laugh:

CORRECTION: It IS a total joke in the sticks... Like them glorified golf carts y'all call smart cars...
We point and laugh.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 25, 2019, 09:39:13 AM
Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf' at Target
By Jeff Tavss - Executive Producer
Posted: 2:54 PM, October 23, 2019
Updated: 3:43 PM, October 23, 2019

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - A Florida man was arrested Tuesday after being caught having sex with a stuffed animal inside Target.

Witnesses told police they saw Cody Meader, 20, take a large Olaf from "Frozen" off the store shelves at a St. Petersburg location and begin to "dry hump" the toy.   ...
(https://bobcat.grahamdigital.com/6d1ef37d9c299ce926cceab22d1770ca22f2d090/fit-630x353-000.jpg)

Full story (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-stuffed-olaf-at-target)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 25, 2019, 02:05:10 PM
Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf' at Target
By Jeff Tavss - Executive Producer
Posted: 2:54 PM, October 23, 2019
Updated: 3:43 PM, October 23, 2019

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - A Florida man was arrested Tuesday after being caught having sex with a stuffed animal inside Target.

Witnesses told police they saw Cody Meader, 20, take a large Olaf from "Frozen" off the store shelves at a St. Petersburg location and begin to "dry hump" the toy.   ...
(https://bobcat.grahamdigital.com/6d1ef37d9c299ce926cceab22d1770ca22f2d090/fit-630x353-000.jpg)

Full story (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-stuffed-olaf-at-target)

@mountaineer

UPDATE! He is now claiming it wasn't his fault,and Elvis is to blame because "Are You Lonesome Tonight" was playing on the store speakers,and having to answer "yes" was more than he could deal with.

Not really. It's a joke,son,a joke! What is sad is that the world is so weird now you have to point out that something that absurd is an actual joke,and not a funny true event..
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 25, 2019, 04:57:57 PM
CORRECTION: It IS a total joke in the sticks... Like them glorified golf carts y'all call smart cars...
We point and laugh.
Oh, I dunno, a Smart car with a sunroof would make an interesting planter...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 25, 2019, 04:59:52 PM
@mountaineer

UPDATE! He is now claiming it wasn't his fault,and Elvis is to blame because "Are You Lonesome Tonight" was playing on the store speakers,and having to answer "yes" was more than he could deal with.

Not really. It's a joke,son,a joke! What is sad is that the world is so weird now you have to point out that something that absurd is an actual joke,and not a funny true event..
Not that it matters, because half the country lost anything resembling a sense of humor about the time Political Correctness became a thing.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 26, 2019, 02:48:11 AM
Oh, I dunno, a Smart car with a sunroof would make an interesting planter...

I actually have a friend who is mounting a smart car body to a Willy's jeep frame... Axle-over spring lift, double frame lift, and 15x37 Swampers. Should be a hoot.
I told him he should mount the cutting deck off his Toro on it.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 26, 2019, 02:50:19 AM
(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7e/10/a1/7e10a10f394b5505e2ce0c32d57e586b.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Sighlass on October 26, 2019, 04:44:24 AM
Overnight, a woman was lit on fire at Taco Bell, a church burned and car fires were reported. Here's what we know.

https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2019/10/24/tallahassee-taco-bell-fire-church-cars-what-we-know-mia-williams-suspect-victim/4082794002/ (https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2019/10/24/tallahassee-taco-bell-fire-church-cars-what-we-know-mia-williams-suspect-victim/4082794002/)

________________________

Nutshell... homeless black transsexual gets mad at Taco Bell employee for having him kicked out from being rude to customers so he comes back and throws gas on her (sets her afire). The making a run for it on a bicycle he sets everything he can on fire (including a black church and several cars) and finally when cornered he jumps on police car evades several attempts to taze him and finally after fighting gets arrested.  At one point even the fire dept truck was following him around town.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: 240B on October 26, 2019, 05:31:00 AM
Overnight, a woman was lit on fire at Taco Bell, a church burned and car fires were reported. Here's what we know.

https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2019/10/24/tallahassee-taco-bell-fire-church-cars-what-we-know-mia-williams-suspect-victim/4082794002/ (https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2019/10/24/tallahassee-taco-bell-fire-church-cars-what-we-know-mia-williams-suspect-victim/4082794002/)

________________________

Nutshell... homeless black transsexual gets mad at Taco Bell employee for having him kicked out from being rude to customers so he comes back and throws gas on her (sets her afire). The making a run for it on a bicycle he sets everything he can on fire (including a black church and several cars) and finally when cornered he jumps on police car evades several attempts to taze him and finally after fighting gets arrested.  At one point even the fire dept truck was following him around town.

Woman sets person on fire in Taco Bell, may have gone on arson spree. Church, cars set ablaze
https://amp.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Gefn on October 26, 2019, 05:58:34 AM
(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7e/10/a1/7e10a10f394b5505e2ce0c32d57e586b.jpg)

Oh dear ....
I just woke up, read this with my morning coffee and laughed. Hot coffee came out of my nose. Painful!

@roamer_1
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 26, 2019, 06:40:20 AM
Oh dear ....
I just woke up, read this with my morning coffee and laughed. Hot coffee came out of my nose. Painful!

@roamer_1

@Gefn

Happy to be of service!!  happy77
Sorry to be such a pain in the... nose  :whistle:
 :silly: :beer:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on October 26, 2019, 06:04:37 PM
Florida man who identifies as a woman goes on arson spree involving a Taco Bell
A Tallahassee woman may have gone on an arson spree Wednesday and Thursday, starting at a Taco Bell where a woman was set on fire, cops say.

On Wednesday, Mia Williams, a 32-year-old who was born male but identifies as female, walked into a Taco Bell, doused a woman with gasoline and then set her on fire, Tallahassee police said.

Williams ran away and the victim was taken to a hospital by helicopter with serious injuries. As of Friday, the victim was still being treated, police said.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html#storylink=cpy (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html#storylink=cpy)
(take a look at the mugshot. some "woman.")
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 26, 2019, 06:13:14 PM
Florida man who identifies as a woman goes on arson spree involving a Taco Bell
A Tallahassee woman may have gone on an arson spree Wednesday and Thursday, starting at a Taco Bell where a woman was set on fire, cops say.

On Wednesday, Mia Williams, a 32-year-old who was born male but identifies as female, walked into a Taco Bell, doused a woman with gasoline and then set her on fire, Tallahassee police said.

Williams ran away and the victim was taken to a hospital by helicopter with serious injuries. As of Friday, the victim was still being treated, police said.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html#storylink=cpy (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html#storylink=cpy)
(take a look at the mugshot. some "woman.")

FTA:

Quote
Williams was charged with premeditated homicide, resisting an officer with violence and aggravated assault on an officer.

The victim he set fire to is dead?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 26, 2019, 06:37:24 PM
(take a look at the mugshot. some "woman.")
Exactly. If you're going to pull that "identifies as woman" $#!t, at least shave off your beard.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 26, 2019, 07:33:04 PM
Exactly. If you're going to pull that "identifies as woman" $#!t, at least shave off your beard.

@mountaineer

Dat bees sexist!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 26, 2019, 07:50:05 PM
@mountaineer

Dat bees sexist!

If I had a beard, it would identify as pubic hair.   :whistle:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Once-Ler on October 27, 2019, 08:13:41 AM
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html)

Quote
A Tallahassee woman may have gone on an arson spree Wednesday and Thursday, starting at a Taco Bell where a woman was set on fire, cops say.

On Wednesday, Mia Williams, a 32-year-old who was born male but identifies as female, walked into a Taco Bell, doused a woman with gasoline and then set her on fire, Tallahassee police said.

Williams ran away and the victim was taken to a hospital by helicopter with serious injuries. As of Friday, the victim was still being treated, police said.

I can't post the pictures so check out the link to see this beautiful woman of color who set another woman on fire.

Also I'm just assuming the arsonist woman is a liberal.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: musiclady on October 27, 2019, 08:49:54 AM
The bearded lady?

I saw one of those in a circus once.....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Mod1 on October 27, 2019, 09:10:09 AM
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article236647643.html)
Moved to appropriate category and merged with existing thread.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 29, 2019, 06:39:41 PM
Quote
Man Arrested After Spitting on Trump Supporter at Restaurant, Physically Assaulting Him Over MAGA Hat
 by Cassandra Fairbanks
 October 29, 2019

A Florida man has been arrested after confronting a 67-year-old man, spitting on him and slapping his “Make American Great Again” hat at a restaurant on Friday evening.

Robert Youngblood, 67, was sitting at the bar at Hurricane Grill in Vero Beach when he was confronted by Matthias Ajple, 43.   ... Ajple walked over and said: ‘You should go back to Russia you f*cking communist.'”

The police report says that Ajple then slapped the man’s MAGA hat, leaned over a gate, and spit on him — before fleeing the scene.  ...

Following his arrest, Ajple bizarrely told the police that Trump supporters are “communists” and “racists.” He added, “I don’t even care that I’m going to jail, this is actually exciting, plus I have more time on this earth than he does anyway, he probably feels so good about himself.” ...
Gateway Pundit (https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/10/man-arrested-after-spitting-on-trump-supporter-at-restaurant-physically-assaulting-him-over-maga-hat/)
(https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/wp-content/uploads/5-10-9-600x397.jpg)
Perp
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 29, 2019, 06:55:50 PM
Gateway Pundit (https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/10/man-arrested-after-spitting-on-trump-supporter-at-restaurant-physically-assaulting-him-over-maga-hat/)
(https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/wp-content/uploads/5-10-9-600x397.jpg)
Perp

WTF is it with his clothes?  Is he wearing a shroud or something?  Tell you what, somebody spits at me at a restaurant and he'll be eating his teeth.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 29, 2019, 07:47:20 PM
WTF is it with his clothes?  Is he wearing a shroud or something?  Tell you what, somebody spits at me at a restaurant and he'll be eating his teeth.

@Cyber Liberty

I'm in my 70's too,and if someone spits on me in a restaurant,they are going to be trying to swallow a coffee cup or sugar shaker.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 30, 2019, 07:52:45 AM
@Cyber Liberty

I'm in my 70's too,and if someone spits on me in a restaurant,they are going to be trying to swallow a coffee cup or sugar shaker.
He said: “I don’t even care that I’m going to jail, this is actually exciting, plus I have more time on this earth than he does anyway,

After that, It would be presumptuous to assume he has more time on Earth than I do, or anyone does. He might not survive such encounters if he can't run away.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on October 31, 2019, 09:22:05 AM
This one is a "Florida girl" story:
Quote
A 14-year-old Florida Girl walked up to a man dressed as Donald Trump and punched him in the jaw as her friends recorded the attack, police say.

The victim and two family members were waiting in line Friday evening outside the Naples Haunted Gross House at the Collier County fairgrounds when he was slugged by the teenage assailant, according to a police report.

After punching the man, the laughing girl returned to her place in line with several other minors, at least one of whom recorded the attack and posted video of it to Instagram.  ...

Cops, who noted that the teenager’s “sole motivation was to strike ‘Trump,’” cited the girl for misdemeanor battery.  ...
The Smoking Gun (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/battery/teen-trump-attacker-762590)

Who can explain to her that a person dressed up in a Halloween costume is not actually what he purports to be? Not a cowboy, not a zombie, not the president...
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 31, 2019, 10:47:47 AM
This one is a "Florida girl" story:The Smoking Gun (http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/battery/teen-trump-attacker-762590)

Who can explain to her that a person dressed up in a Halloween costume is not actually what he purports to be? Not a cowboy, not a zombie, not the president...
It ever amazes me how many people no longer seem to perceive the boundary between fact and fiction, where reality begins and fantasy ends.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 31, 2019, 10:58:13 AM
It ever amazes me how many people no longer seem to perceive the boundary between fact and fiction, where reality begins and fantasy ends.

Or the simple rule of etiquette that it's NOT OK to "punch a Nazi in the throat."  People seem to think that it's OK to assault somebody because they might think differently.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 31, 2019, 11:00:33 AM
Or the simple rule of etiquette that it's NOT OK to "punch a Nazi in the throat."  People seem to think that it's OK to assault somebody because they might think differently.
We're a long way from "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on October 31, 2019, 11:05:38 AM
We're a long way from "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

The mental defectives of Antifa have convinced themselves that if somebody is wearing a MAGA hat, they are Nazis by definition, and assaulting them is not only OK but morally necessary.  These people are messed up.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 31, 2019, 11:11:36 AM
The mental defectives of Antifa have convinced themselves that if somebody is wearing a MAGA hat, they are Nazis by definition, and assaulting them is not only OK but morally necessary.  These people are messed up.
They wouldn't be Leftists if they weren't messed up. They can't see their behaviour is marching in lockstep with the SA, and it doesn't get much more Fascist than that.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 31, 2019, 11:19:24 AM
The mental defectives of Antifa have convinced themselves that if somebody is wearing a MAGA hat, they are Nazis by definition, and assaulting them is not only OK but morally necessary.  These people are messed up.

@Cyber Liberty

Not as messed up as the survivors will be if they decide to attack me. I've never been much of a "turn the other cheek" fan. I am more of a "I will set your ass on FIRE if you try to do that!" fan.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on October 31, 2019, 11:57:51 AM
@Cyber Liberty

Not as messed up as the survivors will be if they decide to attack me. I've never been much of a "turn the other cheek" fan. I am more of a "I will set your ass on FIRE if you try to do that!" fan.
Survivors? Dangit, pete, you're getting soft. :silly:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 31, 2019, 12:05:30 PM
Survivors? Dangit, pete, you're getting soft. :silly:

 :silly:
Nice.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on October 31, 2019, 03:55:07 PM
Survivors? Dangit, pete, you're getting soft. :silly:
@Smokin Joe

Nobody is perfect. Especially when you are outnumbered and rushed.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: roamer_1 on October 31, 2019, 04:04:34 PM
@Smokin Joe

Nobody is perfect. Especially when you are outnumbered and rushed.

@sneakypete

"Now I don't know how many of them it would take to kick my a**...
But I knew how many they were gonna use"

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/31/ae/cd/31aecd863a79a9726cba4cbd4d4471c2.jpg)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on November 01, 2019, 02:07:53 AM
@Smokin Joe

Nobody is perfect. Especially when you are outnumbered and rushed.
Haste makes waste... :shrug:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 01, 2019, 10:18:02 AM
Haste makes waste... :shrug:

@Smokin Joe

Huh? Waste is what you are trying to create. Or have I been doing this wrong all these years?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Smokin Joe on November 02, 2019, 08:43:25 AM
@Smokin Joe

Huh? Waste is what you are trying to create. Or have I been doing this wrong all these years?
Depends what you are in a hurry to do.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Once-Ler on November 05, 2019, 07:58:43 PM
https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2019/11/05/deputies-solve-mystery-groin-fort-pierce/2490831001/ (https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2019/11/05/deputies-solve-mystery-groin-fort-pierce/2490831001/)

Off The Beat: Deputies solve mystery of the groin
Quote
ST. LUCIE COUNTY — It took X-rays, a CT scan and a doctor, but sheriff’s investigators apparently solved the mystery of the groin.

The case began Oct. 15 at the St. Lucie County jail as a 33-year-old Vero Beach woman was in the facility’s booking/intake area, an affidavit states.

Asked whether she had drugs or contraband, the woman said, “No.”

<snip>

The woman was arrested on charges including three counts of possession of a controlled substance without a prescription and single counts each of possession of drug paraphernalia, introduction of contraband into a detention facility and tampering with evidence.

The story is not that great but oh my...that headline.
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on November 25, 2019, 08:15:37 AM
Florida man spits food into woman's mouth in road rage encounter

David Wipperman, 61, was taken into custody Thursday in connection with the incident on Oct. 29, when Wipperman got out of his truck and approached a woman driving nearby just before 6 p.m.

It's unclear where the two were during the encounter, but Wipperman walked up to the woman, and she rolled down the window of her sedan to apologize, according to the Tampa Bay Times. That's when, authorities say, the man spit the food he was chewing at her. “The food struck the victim in the face and entered (her) mouth,” an arrest report states, per the Times.


https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-spits-food-at-woman-road-rage.amp (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-spits-food-at-woman-road-rage.amp)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 28, 2019, 09:45:42 AM
Masturbating Florida man slugs elderly man who asked him to stop
By Ben Feuerherd
November 28, 2019

A drunk man who was masturbating in a Florida supermarket’s parking lot slugged an elderly man who told him to cut it out, a report said.

The suspect, 39-year-old Kerry Vandergriff, was allegedly masturbating with his pants down in the Fresco Y Mas in Miami on Saturday afternoon at about 5:30 p.m., CBS New York reported.

The elderly man approached Vandergriff and told him to stop, he later told police.

Vandergriff then slugged him in the face, knocking him to the ground, according to the report. ... NY Post (https://nypost.com/2019/11/28/masturbating-florida-man-slugs-elderly-man-who-asked-him-to-stop/)
(https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/vandergriff-florida.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
Was that wrong?
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: berdie on November 28, 2019, 04:03:59 PM
I was wondering what Florida Man did on Thanksgiving, lol. :HappyTday:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 28, 2019, 05:42:05 PM
I was wondering what Florida Man did on Thanksgiving, lol. :HappyTday:

@berdie

I'm going to make a wild guess and say "crack and hookers".
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on November 29, 2019, 07:53:48 AM
@berdie

I'm going to make a wild guess and say "crack and hookers".
Hunter Biden is now the official Florida man"? Who knew!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 29, 2019, 08:03:46 AM
Hunter Biden is now the official Florida man"? Who knew!

@verga

I did NOT say that! After all,even Florida Man has to draw a line in the sand somewhere,and I don't want them coming after me for implying Hunter Biden is smart enough to join their clan. Standards must be maintained,you know!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: verga on November 29, 2019, 08:13:57 AM
@verga

I did NOT say that! After all,even Florida Man has to draw a line in the sand somewhere,and I don't want them coming after me for implying Hunter Biden is smart enough to join their clan. Standards must be maintained,you know!
If that is your story stick to it.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 29, 2019, 08:33:40 AM
An almost-the-end-of-the-year compendium.
Quote
Ranking this year's top 'Florida Man' stories
Crimes in the sunshine state this year have elevated ridiculousness to a whole new level.
Author: Adam Longo
Published: 9:29 PM EST November 27, 2019
Updated: 11:02 PM EST November 27, 2019

FLORIDA, USA — We've come to expect nothing less from the phallic shaped peninsula extending into the Atlantic Ocean. If you want to play a game with family over Thanksgiving, consider finding a wacky news headline and asking those gathered around, "did this happen in Florida, or somewhere else?" ...   "Florida Man" headlines spread across the globe at the speed of light. The stories captivate readers who become simultaneously repulsed and attracted to antics that even the most talented Hollywood writers are envious of.   ...

When a police officer tells you that you have the right to remain silent, it's clear that "Florida Man" doesn't heed that advice.   ...
Entire article at WUSA9 (https://www.wusa9.com/article/entertainment/ranking-2019-florida-man-stories/65-f7eb7fdd-b3ac-4991-97c2-754569aef47d)
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: Cyber Liberty on November 29, 2019, 10:33:45 AM
An almost-the-end-of-the-year compendium.Entire article at WUSA9 (https://www.wusa9.com/article/entertainment/ranking-2019-florida-man-stories/65-f7eb7fdd-b3ac-4991-97c2-754569aef47d)

But wait!  "Christmas Month" is still ahead, when we can count on some truly great cack-ups!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: mountaineer on November 29, 2019, 11:21:59 AM
But wait!  "Christmas Month" is still ahead, when we can count on some truly great cack-ups!
Indeed. Liquor will flow, crack will be smoked. Good times!
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: sneakypete on November 29, 2019, 01:35:21 PM
Indeed. Liquor will flow, crack will be smoked. Good times!

@mountaineer

...alligators will be raped.....
Title: Re: The Adventures of Florida Man: A Running Thread
Post by: jmyrlefuller on December 02, 2019, 05:33:26 PM
Kid shoots Florida man with a Nerf gun. Drunk, he returns fire with a real gun.

A man who was drunk on whiskey and beer pulled out a gun and shot a 7-year-old boy while the children were playing with Nerf guns, according to the Sanford Police Department.

Anthony Knuth told officers that he had taken shots of Southern Comfort and drank beer the night of the shooting and if he shot the child, it must have been an accident because he couldn’t remember it, according to the report.


https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2019/12/02/florida-man-shoots-child-after-taking-shots-of-whiskey-police-say/ (https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2019/12/02/florida-man-shoots-child-after-taking-shots-of-whiskey-police-say/)