The Briefing Room

General Category => National/Breaking News => Topic started by: Wingnut on August 11, 2019, 02:05:38 am

Title: CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Post by: Wingnut on August 11, 2019, 02:05:38 am
ATLANTA, GA – According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released on Thursday, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s financial and political dealings are 843% more likely to commit suicide.

“We’ve never seen a single risk factor cause a spike of this magnitude,” a CDC spokesperson told reporters. “Interestingly, in spite of their increased suicide risk, people with dirt on the Clintons rarely show any warning signs of suicide, and they never leave a suicide note.”

Title: Re: CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Post by: truth_seeker on August 11, 2019, 02:27:21 am
ak

"premature involuntary dirt nap syndrome"
Title: Re: CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Post by: sneakypete on August 11, 2019, 02:28:54 am
Funny how that works,huh?

I am guessing this is because they get so depressed at the mere thought the Saintly Clint-Roids have dirt.
Title: Re: CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Post by: Wingnut on August 11, 2019, 02:31:02 am
God bless the Bee. :yowsa:
Title: Re: CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Post by: EdJames on August 11, 2019, 02:33:28 am
I figured that had to be the Bee....  even without seeing a link....  someone call snopes right away!!

 :silly:
Title: Re: CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Post by: Wingnut on August 11, 2019, 02:48:00 am
Quote from: EdJames on August 11, 2019, 02:33:28 am
I figured that had to be the Bee....  even without seeing a link....  someone call snopes right away!!

 :silly:

I was  888mouth

My bad!  Not!
Title: Re: CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Post by: bigheadfred on August 11, 2019, 02:57:53 am
 :silly:

I'm a little surprised they didn't mention how these people tend to find really inventive ways to kill themselves, too.