The Briefing Room

Briefing Room Polls (Guests Welcome!) => The Briefingroom Polls => Topic started by: HonestJohn on August 12, 2017, 03:29:37 am

Title: Toilet Paper
Post by: HonestJohn on August 12, 2017, 03:29:37 am
The "Over" orientation:


(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f0/Toilet_paper_orientation_over.jpg/1024px-Toilet_paper_orientation_over.jpg)

The "Under" orientation:


(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/bc/Toilet_paper_orientation_under.jpg/1024px-Toilet_paper_orientation_under.jpg)

Bidet:


(https://catinthecactus.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/toilet-bidet-squirting-water.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 03:37:41 am
Over. Definitely

Bidet. Most definitely not.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: EC on August 12, 2017, 03:38:33 am
Under.

Plus bidet.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 03:41:57 am
Under.

Plus bidet.

Bidet. Is that cold water or warm?
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Mom MD on August 12, 2017, 03:42:20 am
Definitely over
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 03:42:33 am
I guess the answer is the amount of screaming involved.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: EC on August 12, 2017, 03:43:50 am
Bidet. Is that cold water or warm?

Depends if the boiler is in a good mood.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Crazieman on August 12, 2017, 03:44:11 am
Option #4
(http://hot1047.com/files/2012/10/tp-not-on-roll-630x560.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 03:49:21 am
(https://i.imgflip.com/glght.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 03:52:10 am
Option #4
(http://hot1047.com/files/2012/10/tp-not-on-roll-630x560.jpg)

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c2/58/e5/c258e52d1bd638684aef45237fe1f312--funny-pics-funny-shit.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: roamer_1 on August 12, 2017, 04:02:08 am
Freestyle (no hanger).
And you have no selection for corncobs... Jussayin.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 04:05:40 am
Freestyle (no hanger).
And you have no selection for corncobs... Jussayin.

You monster.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: roamer_1 on August 12, 2017, 04:11:25 am
You monster.

And I mash it flat, so it ain't a roll no more.... Keep it on a shelf overhead... And there's a spare in my pickup.  :whistle:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Cripplecreek on August 12, 2017, 04:19:31 am
Sitting on the counter because in the 20 odd years I've lived here I haven't gotten around to installing a dispenser.

At work they are required to be over and toilet seats are supposed to be in the up position in both male and female restrooms.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: ABX on August 12, 2017, 04:31:17 am
I worry about all the people who thinks to much about this and doesn't just stick it on no matter which way it goes.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: ABX on August 12, 2017, 04:32:22 am
Depends........

First honest answer..
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Ghost Bear on August 12, 2017, 04:35:21 am
(https://catinthecactus.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/toilet-bidet-squirting-water.jpg)

In Soviet Russia, toilet p!ss on you.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: INVAR on August 12, 2017, 04:42:59 am
Arguing how to hang toilet paper roll is rich man problem.

Finding clean water to wash left hand..... is problem for most.

(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dKkryfdtMNQ/hqdefault.jpg)

(My first lesson as a missionary to India)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: endicom on August 12, 2017, 05:23:48 am
(https://tse4.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.G7oH9zn5OqpHW-EHmNN--wEsDc&pid=15.1&P=0&w=218&h=161)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: GtHawk on August 12, 2017, 05:42:11 am
I guess the answer is the amount of screaming involved.
(http://i40.tinypic.com/x1iuz5.jpg)

(http://i49.tinypic.com/11b0mt5.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Gefn on August 12, 2017, 06:52:42 am
I once used a bidet at a fancy schmancy hotel. It was wonderful.


I'd love to see one of those fancy Japanese talking toilets 🚽
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Suppressed on August 12, 2017, 02:31:07 pm
I cannot believe, on such an important topic, we are ignoring the scribblings of the 16th Century monk Francois Rabelais, who wrote (https://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/r/rabelais/francois/r11g/book1.13.html):

Quote
Afterwards I wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf’s skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney’s bag, with a montero, with a coif, with a falconer’s lure. But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains. And think not that the felicity of the heroes and demigods in the Elysian fields consisteth either in their asphodel, ambrosia, or nectar, as our old women here used to say; but in this, according to my judgment, that they wipe their tails with the neck of a goose, holding her head betwixt their legs, and such is the opinion of Master John of Scotland, alias Scotus.


To be sure, there's much more about the topic at the link, and I give you merely the conclusion, not such tidbits as . . 

Quote
Afterwards, in dunging behind a bush, I found a March-cat, and with it I wiped my breech, but her claws were so sharp that they scratched and exulcerated all my perinee.

 :laugh:

So, I beseech thee, good surveyor, consider the goose neck for your inquiry.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Suppressed on August 12, 2017, 02:32:26 pm
I worry about all the people who thinks to much about this and doesn't just stick it on no matter which way it goes.

In hotels, it's supposed to be over the top, as it hangs it freely and not against the wall.

But in houses with cats who like to play with it, it must go under, else you end up with a pile of paper on the floor.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Suppressed on August 12, 2017, 02:33:40 pm
Under.

Plus bidet.

Ugh.

You'd like visiting my parents.  That's their setup.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Cripplecreek on August 12, 2017, 02:40:16 pm
For what its worth, I'm a bread bag twist & flipper.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: mystery-ak on August 12, 2017, 02:45:18 pm
For bidet users...Aren't you soaking wet after using it...and do you pat dry with toilet paper?


Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Suppressed on August 12, 2017, 03:08:58 pm
For what its worth, I'm a bread bag twist & flipper.
(https://i2.wp.com/flowingdata.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Bread-bag-alignment-chart.jpg?resize=720%2C734&ssl=1)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Cripplecreek on August 12, 2017, 03:16:42 pm
At the risk of making this thread head south in a hurry, there is the question of wiping and observing or wiping and flushing without the investigation.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: endicom on August 12, 2017, 03:26:38 pm
For bidet users...Aren't you soaking wet after using it...and do you pat dry with toilet paper?


You can get them with dryers. And with remotes if you're a bit of a prankster.

http://www.homedepot.com/b/Bath-Toilets-Toilet-Seats-Bidets-Bidets-Bidet-Parts-Bidet-Seats/Warm-Air-Dryer/N-5yc1vZbza8Z1z0rxyq

@mystery-ak
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Suppressed on August 12, 2017, 04:24:36 pm

You can get them with dryers. And with remotes if you're a bit of a prankster.

http://www.homedepot.com/b/Bath-Toilets-Toilet-Seats-Bidets-Bidets-Bidet-Parts-Bidet-Seats/Warm-Air-Dryer/N-5yc1vZbza8Z1z0rxyq

@mystery-ak

From experience: the dryers don't work well. 
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 04:47:29 pm
Good night, the thought of air blowing on my lady parts from a device that someone has rinsed their fanny in is.... unpleasant.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 04:48:28 pm
(https://i2.wp.com/flowingdata.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Bread-bag-alignment-chart.jpg?resize=720%2C734&ssl=1)

Where does a twist tie fit in?
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 04:50:50 pm
My husband grew up in a house with cats and so always hung the tp under.  Took me years to train him to do it the right way. :)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: roamer_1 on August 12, 2017, 04:56:36 pm
For bidet users...Aren't you soaking wet after using it...and do you pat dry with toilet paper?

I don't know anything about a real bidet... But if you are in a shop with a bunch of drunk redneck engineers, and you modify the toilet there to contain a brass fit 5/8" hose connected to 30 lbs of water pressure, hidden in the tidy-bowl... And wait for a late arriving buddy to enter that bathroom... 10 more seconds... Then flip the air valve that controls the water flow... Well, lets just say that ain't the sort of thing you 'pat dry'... But the 'screaming like a woman' part was worth it.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: EC on August 12, 2017, 05:06:45 pm
For bidet users...Aren't you soaking wet after using it...and do you pat dry with toilet paper?

You dry yourself. With a towel.  :tongue2:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: GtHawk on August 12, 2017, 05:09:50 pm
From experience: the dryers don't work well.
But be honest is there a sort of exictement in sitting on a large water filled bowl thats been electrified?
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Weird Tolkienish Figure on August 12, 2017, 05:27:02 pm
Here's a little TMI pro-tip: you can use those massage showers like a bidet if you jump in the shower after uhhhhh, you know, pooping.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 05:30:35 pm
Here's a little TMI pro-tip: you can use those massage showers like a bidet if you jump in the shower after uhhhhh, you know, pooping.

That's a heck of a poop if you need to get in the shower afterwards.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 05:31:38 pm
You dry yourself. With a towel.  :tongue2:

And then hang the towel up for your spouse to dry their hands on sometime later?
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Bigun on August 12, 2017, 05:34:13 pm
Where does a twist tie fit in?

Ballast for the trash can! I HATE the damned things!
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: EC on August 12, 2017, 05:34:24 pm
And then hang the towel up for your spouse to dry their hands on sometime later?

Dunno. What do you do with shower or bath towels?

It's not difficult. We have a towel for bidet use only.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 05:39:41 pm
Dunno. What do you do with shower or bath towels?

It's not difficult. We have a towel for bidet use only.

I was just teasing ya.  Certainly if your home has a bidet you have a protocol for it.

Our organization is:
Wash cloths = single use before laundering.
Bath towels, on a his and hers towel rack = two uses before laundering.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Weird Tolkienish Figure on August 12, 2017, 05:41:28 pm
That's a heck of a poop if you need to get in the shower afterwards.

More TMI: it gets you way "cleaner" than simply wiping.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: EC on August 12, 2017, 05:43:40 pm
I was just teasing ya.  Certainly if your home has a bidet you have a protocol for it.

Our organization is:
Wash cloths = single use before laundering.
Bath towels, on a his and hers towel rack = two uses before laundering.
,

 :tongue2:

We don't count the uses so much - it's days. Since we change the pillow cases every other day there's always space in the washing machine for the bidet towels and hand towels. Bath towels are more like a once a week wash.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 05:47:38 pm
,

 :tongue2:

We don't count the uses so much - it's days. Since we change the pillow cases every other day there's always space in the washing machine for the bidet towels and hand towels. Bath towels are more like a once a week wash.

Oh gosh, I'm way too lazy to change the bed sheets every other day. :)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: EC on August 12, 2017, 05:50:04 pm
Oh gosh, I'm way too lazy to change the bed sheets every other day. :)

Not the sheets! Life's too short for that amount of hassle. They get done as and when - usually weekly. Pillow cases though - I'm mostly bald, means a lot of head grease. Wife has really long hair, means a lot of conditioner etc. So the pillows get disgusting fast if they're not changed often.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Suppressed on August 12, 2017, 06:05:10 pm
I was just teasing ya.  Certainly if your home has a bidet you have a protocol for it.

Our organization is:
Wash cloths = single use before laundering.
Bath towels, on a his and hers towel rack = two uses before laundering.

You have to launder bath towels?!

I always figured that I just washed, so they must stay clean!

 :laugh:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: EC on August 12, 2017, 06:13:51 pm
You have to launder bath towels?!

I always figured that I just washed, so they must stay clean!

 :laugh:

They're supposed to bend, you know ....   :tongue2:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 12, 2017, 06:25:45 pm
Most cat owners prefer the "under" orientation, I believe.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 07:43:51 pm
At the risk of making this thread head south in a hurry, there is the question of wiping and observing or wiping and flushing without the investigation.

And/or dipping after the first flush. Wet wipes.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Wingnut on August 12, 2017, 08:12:38 pm
Who the heck moderates this forum.  Place needs a cleanup!

 :smokin:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 12, 2017, 08:26:17 pm
If you go native in a Muslim majority nation, you probably won't even get toilet paper or a bidet.  You will get only a nozzle-operated water hose.  That was my experience in a medical clinic in Indonesia.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 08:32:22 pm
(http://pleated-jeans.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funny-toilet-paper-spiders-bathroom-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Bigun on August 12, 2017, 08:38:00 pm
If you go native in a Muslim majority nation, you probably won't even get toilet paper or a bidet.  You will get only a nozzle-operated water hose.  That was my experience in a medical clinic in Indonesia.

I worked and lived in the Middle East for many years and know this to be true.  And the people who inhabit such places make a hell of a mess when they try to use our western facilities.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 08:40:48 pm
Who the heck moderates this forum.  Place needs a cleanup!

 :smokin:

Who cares?  :laugh:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 12, 2017, 08:54:25 pm
@Suppressed
But in houses with cats who like to play with it, it must go under, else you end up with a pile of paper on the floor.

I said the same thing later in the thread without noticing that you had already said it.  (It's actually kind of fun to watch a cat spooling out the TP onto the floor much like a boxer slapping a punching bag in a fast rhythm.)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Wingnut on August 12, 2017, 08:57:40 pm
Who cares?  :laugh:

 22222frying pan  LOL 
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Axeslinger on August 12, 2017, 09:27:04 pm
@Suppressed
I said the same thing later in the thread without noticing that you had already said it.  (It's actually kind of fun to watch a cat spooling out the TP onto the floor much like a boxer slapping a punching bag in a fast rhythm.)
@Suppressed @the_doc

See that's your problem, right there.  You've got cats IN YOUR HOUSE!  Everyone knows that cats are only good for target practice....can't do that in the house!   Jeez!  Silly people!
 :whistle:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 12, 2017, 09:33:26 pm
@Suppressed @the_doc

See that's your problem, right there.  You've got cats IN YOUR HOUSE!  Everyone knows that cats are only good for target practice....can't do that in the house!   Jeez!  Silly people!
 :whistle:

Wait a minute!  I don't have cats.  (I have no use for pets that are not supremely, demonstrably grateful for room and board.)  But I have watched them play with the toilet paper rolls at other people's houses.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 09:34:44 pm
@Suppressed @the_doc

See that's your problem, right there.  You've got cats IN YOUR HOUSE!  Everyone knows that cats are only good for target practice....can't do that in the house!   Jeez!  Silly people!
 :whistle:

I was at the range with my husband one day and I guess we each thought the other one had packed the targets in our range bag.  So I leave hubby on the range and go out to the store area and am looking at the targets they have.  One of the salesmen walks up to me and asks if he can help me find something.  I don't know what put this in my head, but with a straight face I say "I see you've got targets for ground hogs and turkeys, but I don't see any kittens.  Do you have any of those?"  The look on his face...
 (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EhqByaLhZoc/UQh40r0q7iI/AAAAAAAAFqU/TbRmC6LrEnE/s1600/3sryon.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Axeslinger on August 12, 2017, 09:35:43 pm
Wait a minute!  I don't have cats.  (I have no use for pets that are not supremely, demonstrably grateful for room and board.)  But I have watched them play with the toilet paper rolls at other people's houses.

@the_doc

Lol!  My fault!  Shouldn't have leapt to that conclusion!

Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 12, 2017, 09:41:04 pm
@RoosGirl
@Axeslinger 
I was at the range with my husband one day and I guess we each thought the other one had packed the targets in our range bag.  So I leave hubby on the range and go out to the store area and am looking at the targets they have.  One of the salesmen walks up to me and asks if he can help me find something.  I don't know what put this in my head, but with a straight face I say "I see you've got targets for ground hogs and turkeys, but I don't see any kittens.  Do you have any of those?"  The look on his face...
 (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EhqByaLhZoc/UQh40r0q7iI/AAAAAAAAFqU/TbRmC6LrEnE/s1600/3sryon.jpg)

That's HILARIOUS!
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 10:01:54 pm
@RoosGirl
@Axeslinger 
That's HILARIOUS!

I'm not sure he thought it was as funny as I did, but I'm okay with that. :)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Suppressed on August 12, 2017, 10:20:13 pm
@Suppressed
I said the same thing later in the thread without noticing that you had already said it.  (It's actually kind of fun to watch a cat spooling out the TP onto the floor much like a boxer slapping a punching bag in a fast rhythm.)

The look on their faces seems to always be so nonchalant.  ^-^
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Suppressed on August 12, 2017, 10:22:22 pm
Lol!  My fault!  Shouldn't have leapt to that conclusion!
@Axeslinger
@the_doc

Funny thing, I don't have cats, either!
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Wingnut on August 12, 2017, 10:29:16 pm
(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160206/e23454de99c77cde40928cb7ccf4d45e.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 10:37:13 pm
Yeah, who the heck moderates this place anyway?
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Wingnut on August 12, 2017, 10:50:12 pm
Yeah, who the heck moderates this place anyway?

 :shrug:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 12, 2017, 11:00:05 pm
@Wingnut
@Axeslinger
@Suppressed
Yeah, who the heck moderates this place anyway?
I vote for @RoosGirl.  Considering her awful targeting of kitties, we can expect her not to be a very moderate moderator.  (And she doesn't much like Trump.)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Wingnut on August 12, 2017, 11:15:12 pm
@Wingnut
@Axeslinger
@Suppressed I vote for @RoosGirl.  Considering her awful targeting of kitties, we can expect her not to be a very moderate moderator.  (And she doesn't much like Trump.)

She has skills.   :whistle:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: RoosGirl on August 12, 2017, 11:23:29 pm
She has skills.   :whistle:

LOL.  And don't you forget it.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Wingnut on August 12, 2017, 11:36:04 pm
LOL.  And don't you forget it.

 :nometalk:

LOL 888high58888
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 12, 2017, 11:36:33 pm
I defense of cats at least they bury their crap. Unlike most people on the planet that can't even wipe their own ass.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 12, 2017, 11:50:10 pm
@bigheadfred
I defense of cats at least they bury their crap. Unlike most people on the planet that can't even wipe their own ass.

Omigosh, Fred, you are sticking up for cats but maligning Muslims.  You are an enigma. 

(Just kidding.)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Cripplecreek on August 13, 2017, 12:28:58 am
Toilent Green

Rest assured, its not people......anymore.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: GtHawk on August 13, 2017, 01:11:36 am
I defense of cats at least they bury their crap. Unlike most people on the planet that can't even wipe their own ass.
:bigsilly: :bigsilly: :happyhappy: :mauslaff: 000hehehehe I bet you honestly believe that too! Here's some free advice, in a neighborhood where there a free roaming cats, always look in the grass before you step! Aside from being vindictive cats are really lazy too.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 13, 2017, 01:25:13 am
:bigsilly: :bigsilly: :happyhappy: :mauslaff: 000hehehehe I bet you honestly believe that too! Here's some free advice, in a neighborhood where there a free roaming cats, always look in the grass before you step! Aside from being vindictive cats are really lazy too.

Unburied cat poop is a territorial marker. I admit feral cats, or feral anything, is a problem.

Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Applewood on August 14, 2017, 04:39:51 pm
I defense of cats at least they bury their crap. Unlike most people on the planet that can't even wipe their own ass.

My first cat was a sweetheart, but she never could actually bury her waste.  She could spend what seemed like hours in the litterbox scratching around, get out and the waste was STILL on top. 

My present cat, on the other hand, buries his waste as if it were gold.  Have to dig down deep to find it.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Weird Tolkienish Figure on August 14, 2017, 05:19:36 pm
A litter box for humans might be an interesting idea.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: bigheadfred on August 15, 2017, 12:45:50 am
A litter box for humans might be an interesting idea.

Not really. It is called the Middle East.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Gefn on August 15, 2017, 03:58:27 am
Cat meets toilet paper

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: mountaineer on August 15, 2017, 01:03:39 pm
And you have no selection for corncobs... Jussayin.
Nor pages from the Sears or MonkeyWard catelogs. Or is that just for outhouse use?
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: roamer_1 on August 15, 2017, 01:46:19 pm
Nor pages from the Sears or MonkeyWard catelogs. Or is that just for outhouse use?

As with corncobs, just for outhouses. it seems... a failure attributable to the inferiority of modern plumbing. One thing you won't find in an outhouse is a plunger.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Applewood on August 15, 2017, 06:18:02 pm
Regarding the poll:  I can't vote for any of the three choices.  I don't use a bidet and when I install a roll of toilet paper -- whichever way it ends up facing is where it stays.  I can't be bothered worrying about whether it's over or under.  I have more important things to do -- like taking my afternoon nap.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 15, 2017, 06:25:50 pm
As with corncobs, just for outhouses. it seems... a failure attributable to the inferiority of modern plumbing. One thing you won't find in an outhouse is a plunger.

I believe the corncob thing is a myth started by some 18th Century comedian.  I have known a lot of old timers with generations of outhouses, and not one of them has ever said anything about the use of corncobs.  (Sears and Monkey Ward's cataologues, yes [I have used them personally], but corncobs, no.  Anyone who has handled a corncob would say that the idea of using it in lieu of paper is crazy.  Might as well propose sandpaper.)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Hurricane Andrew on August 15, 2017, 06:41:56 pm
Case closed!

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Weird Tolkienish Figure on August 15, 2017, 06:51:30 pm
New constipation ad:

(http://s3.amazonaws.com/mbh-misc/desperate_turds_aotw_orig.jpg)
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: roamer_1 on August 15, 2017, 07:23:19 pm
I believe the corncob thing is a myth started by some 18th Century comedian.  I have known a lot of old timers with generations of outhouses, and not one of them has ever said anything about the use of corncobs.  (Sears and Monkey Ward's cataologues, yes [I have used them personally], but corncobs, no.  Anyone who has handled a corncob would say that the idea of using it in lieu of paper is crazy.  Might as well propose sandpaper.)

I wouldn't know... though I have used magazines in the outhouse if the TP is gone.

I can tell you that out in the woods, counter to what one might assume, soft fuzzy leaves are usually a bad idea. stinging nettle as an example. Very, very bad idea.

and cats. No cats... Maybe a rabbit...
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: the_doc on August 15, 2017, 07:57:10 pm
I wouldn't know... though I have used magazines in the outhouse if the TP is gone.

I can tell you that out in the woods, counter to what one might assume, soft fuzzy leaves are usually a bad idea. stinging nettle as an example. Very, very bad idea.


I have used sycamore leaves with wonderful results.  BTW, you ought to check out the toilet tissue tablets that you can get on Amazon.  I just got some.  They are nifty wipes for backpackers. 

Fourteen sturdy wipes will fit into one of those little tubes that hikers often use for keeping a small emergency supply of matches dry.  The bottom line, as they say, is that fourteen wipes occupy practically no space at all.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: roamer_1 on August 15, 2017, 08:28:03 pm
I have used sycamore leaves with wonderful results.  BTW, you ought to check out the toilet tissue tablets that you can get on Amazon.  I just got some.  They are nifty wipes for backpackers. 

Fourteen sturdy wipes will fit into one of those little tubes that hikers often use for keeping a small emergency supply of matches dry.  The bottom line, as they say, is that fourteen wipes occupy practically no space at all.

Thanks, but I don't carry buttwipe... Well, I DO, but not much, so I don't use it much... wet weather and emergencies...

 I just use grass or cedar bark or some such... if you know how to make a birds nest for lighting a fire, you don't need TP. Just miff the stuff till it's soft and downy, even more than you would for a fire,  and away you go... Then I ain't got to worry about counting squares to make sure I have enough to last.

Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Smokin Joe on August 15, 2017, 08:45:08 pm
(http://pleated-jeans.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/funny-toilet-paper-spiders-bathroom-1.jpg)
Oh hell. I thought those were printed on at first (which would be fun).
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Smokin Joe on August 15, 2017, 08:47:21 pm
I defense of cats at least they bury their crap. Unlike most people on the planet that can't even wipe their own ass.
Yeah. I had a sandbox as a kid, so that won't wash.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Weird Tolkienish Figure on August 15, 2017, 08:49:03 pm
Oh hell. I thought those were printed on at first (which would be fun).

So did I but then, how could they print it on the sides? That'd be some damn advanced TP design.
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: Smokin Joe on August 15, 2017, 08:50:50 pm
So did I but then, how could they print it on the sides? That'd be some damn advanced TP design.
Yeah, it would--but it'd be even better.... :silly:
Title: Re: Toilet Paper
Post by: catfish1957 on August 22, 2017, 05:16:55 am
For what its worth, I'm a bread bag twist & flipper.

Strangely, two of the earlier arguments with my spouse focused on:

(1) Position of toilet seat
(2) Toilet Paper sheet placement (over under discussed here)

0 for two with those wars.