Today's Toons 8/20/12

[pookie18]

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters R & P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 
 
Scientists say the ancient Martian crater where the Curiosity rover landed looks strikingly similar to the California landscape. First thing after it hit the ground, a bureaucrat came up and demanded a landing tax.
 
 
Nancy Pelosi told a recent gathering of the Women's Political Committee that she "swears" she was spoken to by ghosts at the White House. Turns out they just wanted to make sure she asn't  staying.
 
 
-- Fred Thompson
 
 
The Mars Curiosity rover sent back photos Friday which scientists suggested looked like California's desert. That's silly. The mountains and dust look about right but not even a planet the size of Mars could possibly have as many aliens as there are in California.
 
 
The U.S. Olympic team battled all weekend with China to see which country brought home the most gold medals. It was very close. China was ahead in gold medals won until the U.S. Olympic team borrowed them all to pay for roads and bridges and education.
 
 
Mitt Romney picked up two surprise endorsements in Hollywood Friday from Clint Eastwood and porn star Jenna Jameson. The characters they play in the movies are legendary. If Dirty Harry were to challenge Jenna Jameson to make his day, she just might.
 
 
President Obama said Thursday he wants to nationalize other industries like he did General Motors. They're now subsidizing leases for Cadillacs. It was a stroke of genius to make the back seat a sleeper so that a family of four Californians has a place to live for three hundred a month.
 
 
President Obama campaigned in Colorado Thursday where he attacked Republicans for their opposition to wind energy. Birds don't know what to think of Democrats. One minute they're banning development to save their nests, and the next minute they're cutting off their heads with with windmills like they'd just refused to give Henry VIII a son.
 
 
President Obama ordered the Agriculture Department Monday to buy up crops and herds to aid Midwest farmers and ranchers. The president's sense of immediacy was apparent. He also ordered Tina Fey to have a Paul Ryan impression down pat by Saturday.
 
 
Paul Ryan was attacked in TV ads by Democrats after his elevation Saturday. It could help. By November, Paul Ryan will have pushed so many grandmothers over the cliff in their wheelchairs that Americans can go skiing this Thanksgiving without any family guilt.
 
 
Chelsea Clinton told Vogue Tuesday she has decided to embrace her inheritance and family legacy. Just what that means is open to speculation. Her parents thought that it meant she is running for office and her husband thought she was already cheating on him.
 
 
President Obama urged Iowa voters Monday to tell Paul Ryan to pass the farm relief bill in Congress. The House already passed the farm relief bill. It's stalled in the Senate, where Democrats are waiting for Barack Obama to point at the clouds and order it to rain.
 
 
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange got diplomatic immunity in Ecuador from getting prosecuted for leaking cables that embarrassed the U.S. government. The case is weak. If embarrassing the U.S. government were a crime, Joe Biden would be on death row at Leavenworth.
 
 
Rudy Giuliani openly questioned Joe Biden's mental capacity Tuesday. He's insulted minorities, he's sworn onstage and he's asked a wheelchair-bound person to stand up for a round of applause. It raises a lot of questions, and the answer to all of them is too much Scotch.
 
 
President Obama's order allowing work permits for young illegal aliens took effect Wednesday. He'll let them stay here if they pay five hundred dollars for a permit. It's viewed by some as a humane gesture and by others as a new low in campaign fundraising.
 
 
Bill Clinton agreed to give the keynote speech at the Democratic Convention. Today's young adults were only seven during the Monica scandal. They may have been lousy in math and science but they could spell fellatio younger than any other generation in history.
 
 
President Obama campaigned in Iowa Tuesday where he proposed that the federal government buy up beef to help raise prices. He admitted that the economy is a little sluggish right now. That's true, in the same way that Elvis Presley's a little sluggish right now.
 
 
History Channel News polled American historians on President Obama's legacy this past month. The poll showed the Obama presidency was rated as a failure by over sixty percent of historians. The good news is, they're the highest poll numbers he's had in years.
 
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 
 
The apartment that President Obama used to live in when he was a college student in New York is now up for rent for $2,400 a month. Coincidentally, Obama was only there for one four-year term.
 
 
Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer team, of course, returned home to their houses here in Los Angeles.
 
 
President Obama visited a wind farm in Iowa. You know, just one wind farm with 50 turbines generates as much wind power as a single Joe Biden speech.
 
 
President Obama met with Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner in the Oval Office. They agreed on a new economic plan after losing last night's big Powerball lottery.
 
 
President Obama is still reminding people that he inherited this economy. Let me tell you something. If this economy doesn't turn around soon, his inheritance could be cut off in November.
 
 
After his latest gaffe, Joe Biden has a new slogan — "Chains you can believe in."
 
 
Even though he made a number of gaffes this week, President Obama says he's sticking with Joe Biden as his running mate, and Biden is thrilled. Of course he's thrilled. Do you want to be looking for a job in this economy?
 
 
-- Leno
 
 
Mitt Romney's vice-presidential pick, Paul Ryan, criticized President Obama for not doing enough to create jobs. In response, Obama said, "Didn't you just get a new job?"
 
 
The White House just revealed that it brews its own beer, and President Obama drinks it when he goes out campaigning — and even more of it when Joe Biden goes out campaigning.
 
 
-- Jimmy Fallon
 
 
Mitt Romney has selected Paul Ryan as his running mate. They say this could be a big boost for the Republican ticket and I was thinking, "Well, Joe Biden could be a big boost for the Republican ticket, you know?"
 
 
-- Letterman
 
 
 

[niobe527]

good morning pookie

[Davidfxs]

Thank you Pookie have a great week

[illeagle]

Thank you Pookie...Coffee and Toons keep me fit!

[A.Hun]

Good morning and thanks Pookie!  Have a great week!

[evadR]

Thanks Pookie

[Oceander]

yeah pookie!

[MJM2012]

Love your collection today!

[pookie18]

good morning pookie

Mornin', niobe!

[pookie18]

Thank you Pookie have a great week

You're welcome & the same to you, David!

[pookie18]

Thank you Pookie...Coffee and Toons keep me fit!

My pleasure, Illeagle!

[pookie18]

Good morning and thanks Pookie!  Have a great week!

Mornin', you're welcome, as always, & the same to you, A.Hun!

[pookie18]

Thanks Pookie

My pleasure, as ever, Evad!

[pookie18]

yeah pookie!

Mornin', Oceander!

[pookie18]

Love your collection today!

Glad you liked 'em, MJM2012!