Author Topic: The Tables Down at Mory's  (Read 355480 times)

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Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #125 on: September 04, 2012, 05:23:16 am »
Great one Queen!
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Offline Queen

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #126 on: September 04, 2012, 05:46:38 am »
Now that I know what this thread is for I'll post more often. It should be at the top.

Offline Queen

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #127 on: September 04, 2012, 05:55:21 am »
Thanks for putting a sticky on this. We'll behave,,,won't we Luis?   :beer:

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #128 on: September 05, 2012, 03:25:45 am »
Thanks for putting a sticky on this. We'll behave,,,won't we Luis?   :beer:

Uh...Queen.

This is where you get to NOT behave.

I was going to call it "The Couches at Prince Harry's", but the title was a bit wordy.
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Oceander

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #129 on: September 05, 2012, 03:30:36 am »
Uh...Queen.

This is where you get to NOT behave.

I was going to call it "The Couches at Prince Harry's", but the title was a bit wordy.

And I don't think any of us really want to sit on those couches, either!  :smokin:

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #130 on: September 05, 2012, 03:36:18 am »
And I don't think any of us really want to sit on those couches, either!  :smokin:

 :silly: :silly: :silly: :silly: :silly: :silly:
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Offline R4 TrumPence

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #131 on: September 05, 2012, 04:59:02 am »
Creepy!!!


I am Repub4Bush on FR '02

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #132 on: September 05, 2012, 05:06:35 am »
A new Navy recruit is being given a tour of the vessel he shall be manning.

The ships captain is giving the tour: " This is the crew quarters...This is the mess hall", etc, etc..

The new recruit begins to think, and queries the captain: "Sir, being that we are away at sea for a long period of time...what happens about sexual needs?"

"Oh" says the captain, "go to the back of the cargo hold and you will see a barrel with a hole..Give it a go. It'll be the best you ever had!".

Bewildered, the recruit goes to the cargo hold and finds the barrel. The recruit has sex with the barrel and returns to the captain.

Full of joy, he says, "You're right.. Its the best i ever had. I want to do it every day!" the captain replies, " well you can use it every day...except Thursdays" the recruit asks "why not Thursdays?" To which the captain replies "Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel".
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Offline R4 TrumPence

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #133 on: September 05, 2012, 05:47:49 am »
OH MY!!


I am Repub4Bush on FR '02

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #135 on: September 12, 2012, 03:38:10 am »
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Offline jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #136 on: September 14, 2012, 01:36:01 am »
While browsing for the Jukebox from Hell, I stumbled upon this old 90s commercial:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1l87Wzselg
New profile picture in honor of Public Domain Day 2024

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #137 on: September 14, 2012, 04:36:24 am »
Dude...that was painful.
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Offline Queen

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #138 on: September 17, 2012, 07:40:03 pm »
Found on the web.

BEST THING I HAVE HEARD YET . . .

Senior citizens are not useless yet. The Business Section of the St. Petersburg ( Florida ) Times asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix The Economy?" A senior citizen around 80 yrs. of age nailed it! Here is what he wrote:

Dear Mr. President, Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the "Patriotic Retirement Plan":

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
 1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed!
 2) They MUST buy a new AMERICAN Car. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed!
 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed!
It can't get any easier than that!!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress pay their taxes.. Mr. President, while you're at it, make Congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I'll bet both programs would be fixed pronto

Offline Queen

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #139 on: September 22, 2012, 01:07:29 am »
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..

17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.

18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some of it will start sinking in!

**If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them! *

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #140 on: September 22, 2012, 06:45:30 pm »
« Last Edit: September 28, 2012, 06:00:39 am by Luis Gonzalez »
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Oceander

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Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #142 on: September 24, 2012, 03:19:19 am »
That's Che Guevara, minutes after he was executed.

I sent this graphic to Urban Outfitters, in response to their recent decision to promote a line of clothing and accessories featuring Che's picture.

Urban Outfiters has since shelved the line (I don't take credit, thousands wrote in, <a href ="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/thor-halvorssen/an-open-letter-to-urban-o_b_1895353.html">even Huffington Post kicked in[/url]), so I decided to give them an option to replace the line with.

The only good Ché, is a dead Ché.
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

Oceander

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #143 on: September 27, 2012, 06:02:55 pm »
That's Che Guevara, minutes after he was executed.

I sent this graphic to Urban Outfitters, in response to their recent decision to promote a line of clothing and accessories featuring Che's picture.

Urban Outfiters has since shelved the line (I don't take credit, thousands wrote in, <a href ="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/thor-halvorssen/an-open-letter-to-urban-o_b_1895353.html">even Huffington Post kicked in[/url]), so I decided to give them an option to replace the line with.

The only good Ché, is a dead Ché.

Unfortunately, the image seems to be missing.  I can see the hyperlink in the post, but the image won't display.

Offline Luis Gonzalez

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #144 on: September 28, 2012, 06:01:07 am »
Unfortunately, the image seems to be missing.  I can see the hyperlink in the post, but the image won't display.

Broken link.

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, i have others." - Groucho Marx

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #145 on: September 28, 2012, 11:11:33 am »
I WANT ONE!   :laugh:
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Offline ladybug

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #146 on: September 28, 2012, 05:54:43 pm »
Found on the web.

BEST THING I HAVE HEARD YET . . .

Senior citizens are not useless yet. The Business Section of the St. Petersburg ( Florida ) Times asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix The Economy?" A senior citizen around 80 yrs. of age nailed it! Here is what he wrote:

Dear Mr. President, Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the "Patriotic Retirement Plan":

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
 1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed!
 2) They MUST buy a new AMERICAN Car. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed!
 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed!
It can't get any easier than that!!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress pay their taxes.. Mr. President, while you're at it, make Congress retire on Social Security and Medicare. I'll bet both programs would be fixed pronto
I love it. Give it to Romney...QUICK...

Oceander

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #147 on: September 28, 2012, 06:35:21 pm »

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Re: The Tables Down at Mory's
« Reply #148 on: September 29, 2012, 02:58:18 am »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lBtp9rQnh4

I think this needs to be in this thread.  Hope you agree.
"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald

Online DCPatriot

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"It aint what you don't know that kills you.  It's what you know that aint so!" ...Theodore Sturgeon

"Journalism is about covering the news.  With a pillow.  Until it stops moving."    - David Burge (Iowahawk)

"It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living" F. Scott Fitzgerald