Author Topic: The Jukebox from Hell  (Read 55109 times)

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Online jmyrlefuller

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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #50 on: August 23, 2012, 04:32:20 PM »
Our next entry in the Jukebox from Hell actually was referred to be by Scottftlc, who writes:

In January 1969, during the tempestuous Let It Be sessions, there was one particular day where Paul McCartney and George Harrison got into a snippy argument over how George was playing guitar on one of Paul's compositions.  George got fed up with what he considered Paul's overbearing attitude and announced he was leaving the band.  He marched out of Abbey Road studios and went home. 

Later in the evening, George returned to work as a producer with an Apple-signed band by the name of Brute Force (one of those bands that took one of the Beatles up on their offer of whatever money they needed to get started - resulting in the Neil Aspinall quote: "Has there ever been enough money from the beginning of the world until now to cover that?")

Without a song to work on, George came up with one on the spot based on his experiences and/or mood of the day.  He named it "The King of Fuh"...and if you transpose "King" and "Fuh", which of course they do in the song, you get the point.

Within a day or two, George and Paul had made up, George returned to the band and the Beatles went on for another 8 months or so, tabling Let It Be for the time but pursuing a couple of #1 singles and the little matter of Abbey Road.

It became a limited cult classic - most of the copies were bought up by George and John Lennon, both of whom thought it a gas.  It has reappeared on a recent release of old, arcane Apple classics and oddities.

About as bad as it gets, even considering The Beatles' isintigration blues of the time.

And so here is The King of Fuh

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8UbwKTRT7I" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8UbwKTRT7I</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #51 on: August 24, 2012, 12:37:37 PM »
I somehow missed this, er, gem during Disco Week last week.

At the height of the disco fad in England, 1980, English newscaster Reginald Bosanquet (for some reason unbeknownst to anybody) decided to, in his usual stiff style, narrate the lyrics to a disco tune known as "Dance With Me." The results, which included the scripted scat-like syllables, were predictable. By the end of the year, Kenny Everett, an English DJ, had ranked it #1 in his "Bottom 30" of the worst songs ever made.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Briefing Room, here is Reginald Bosanquet with "Dance with Me."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVT_wXmnZJM&amp;feature=related" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVT_wXmnZJM&amp;feature=related</a>
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Offline massadvj

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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #52 on: August 24, 2012, 01:18:31 PM »
That's it.  I'm naming my homestead "Fuh" as of today.  :silly:
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Offline Scottftlc

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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #53 on: August 24, 2012, 01:27:51 PM »
That's it.  I'm naming my homestead "Fuh" as of today.  :silly:

All Hail!
Well, George Lewis told the Englishman, the Italian and the Jew
You can't open your mind, boys, to every conceivable point of view

...Bob Dylan

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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #54 on: August 25, 2012, 10:48:53 AM »
All Hail!
Now I can blame you for getting this and a number of other Brute Force tunes stuck in my head.
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Offline Scottftlc

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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #55 on: August 25, 2012, 11:00:24 AM »
A great name for a band...but their product is a bit dicey!
Well, George Lewis told the Englishman, the Italian and the Jew
You can't open your mind, boys, to every conceivable point of view

...Bob Dylan

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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #56 on: August 25, 2012, 10:13:27 PM »
The next entry in the Jukebox from Hell comes from Romania by way of England.

Twin sisters Monica and Gabriela Irimia appeared on the second season of English reality contest Popstars as potential members of one of the two groups being formed by the show, "Girls Aloud." They didn't make it. Not by a long shot. In fact, the judges were left dumbfounded at how bad of an act they were.

They don't really have much talent, and most of the songs were written by their equally untalented mother. Their sheer awfulness prompted them to get a recording contract immediately, and their first song, "The Cheeky Song" (which includes the timeless maxim of "touch my bum, this is life"), made it all the way to number three on the highly competitive Christmas charts, beat out only by the two groups that had been formed by Popstars.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Briefing Room, I present... "The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)" by The Cheeky Girls.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxoKZldsFxg" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxoKZldsFxg</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #57 on: August 27, 2012, 03:25:01 PM »
The next entry in the Jukebox from Hell comes from Elvis Presley. This record was conceived as a ploy by Elvis's infamous and overbearing illegal-alien manager, Cornelius "Colonel" Tom Parker. to produce an album that he would completely control. To do this, he could not use any music, and thus he created an album consisting only of spoken word jokes and improvisations from Presley's concerts, assembled (as the Wikipedia entry for this article says) "in a manner that has been described as lacking continuity and nearly devoid of comprehensibility, let alone humor." Parker then promptly sold the rights to the album to RCA. Many fans were surprised by the fact that the album contained very little music, and many of the jokes didn't make sense without the sight gags. The album ranks number one in the 1991 book The Worst Rock and Roll Records of All Time, with the authors duly noting the lack of rock and roll.

Here's side one of the infamous "Having Fun with Elvis on Stage."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3haAGoan5Q" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3haAGoan5Q</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #58 on: August 28, 2012, 06:42:00 AM »
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #59 on: August 31, 2012, 12:48:04 PM »
The moral of this song is apparently to let anybody into your house, at any time, no matter how sketchy-- as long as your mother says it's OK. Yeah... I can see how that one might not turn out so well.

Here's Rappin' Rabbit with "Any Friend of Jesus Is a Friend of Mine."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-qCODabM2s" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-qCODabM2s</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #60 on: September 04, 2012, 06:05:01 PM »
Elva Miller was an unsuspecting housewife whose, er, unique singing style got her "discovered" by DJ Gary Owens in 1960. Within a few years, Mrs. Miller ended up as a national sensation with her renditions of popular songs of the day... and ended up spawning more than her fair share of imitators. We already hit on the Quebecois Madame St. Onge; Sam Sacks will probably be in tomorrow's entry, and there are plenty of others.

The title of her second album, Will Success Spoil Mrs. Miller?, was eerily prophetic. The problem was that Mrs. Miller viewed herself as a serious musician and wanted to learn to become better. The record company, viewing her as novelty gold, hated the idea, so she retired. She died in 1996.

From Volume 2 of The Rhino Brothers Present the World's Worst Records, here's Mrs. Miller with her rendition of Petula Clark's "Downtown."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw07CDid0JM" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw07CDid0JM</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #61 on: September 05, 2012, 09:10:48 PM »
As I mentioned in the previous entry, the popularity of Mrs. Miller led to a number of knockoffs. One was the album, Sing It Again, Sam! The Inimitable Song Stylings of Sam Sacks. You can hear the entire album at that link.

From that album, here's Sam Sacks with a piece entitled "Yodel Blues."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PSAPEmIPJk" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PSAPEmIPJk</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #62 on: September 07, 2012, 11:17:10 PM »
Well,  here's an addition from the bowels of internet meme-dom...

...don't worry, this isn't the 10 hour long version, just about 4 minutes.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSMNKQl5DYo" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSMNKQl5DYo</a>

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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #63 on: September 09, 2012, 08:10:55 AM »
What Jukebox from Hell is complete without some Michael Bolton? Especially Bolton singing several notes higher than any man should in this well-overacted music video.

Here's his cover of Laura Branigan's "How am I Supposed to Live Without You?"

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFood_bTOX4" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFood_bTOX4</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #64 on: September 10, 2012, 10:34:49 AM »
For some odd reason, people seem to treat KISS as some amazing hard-rock band. While I'll admit they have a few good and very rockin' tunes (e.g. Detroit Rock City, Calling Dr. Love), there's a lot of their content that is unbecoming of a rock band.

This one is perhaps the most indicative of that: a sappy ballad about a man ditching his wife to rock out with his band buddies all night. Seeing them in their trademark makeup singing this tune with all the string instruments and the piano qualifies this one for the Jukebox from Hell.

Here's the alleged Knights in Satan's Service with "Beth."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbtO_Ayjw0M" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbtO_Ayjw0M</a>
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Offline massadvj

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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #65 on: September 11, 2012, 12:13:21 PM »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw3oxJvSRj0" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw3oxJvSRj0</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #66 on: September 12, 2012, 05:47:18 PM »
Back in the early 1960s, before the Beatles set foot on this continent, two types of songs were dominating the American music scene: thinly veiled left-wing political folk songs and teenage tragedy songs. In the latter, the singer laments the death of his (or her) lover, usually by way of a car accident. With all that misery floating about, it's no wonder the Beatles took the country by storm.

Well, a guy named Jimmy Cross decided to have a little morbid humor with the whole "teenage tragedy" formula and wrote "I Want My Baby Back" (no relation to the Chili's baby-back ribs jingle) about a man who's not going to let a little thing like death get in the way of being with the one he loved. Cross's effort landed him at #1 on Kenny Everett's 1977 list of the worst songs of all time.

From The Rhino Brothers Present the World's Worst Records, Volume 1, here's Jimmy Cross with his 1965 song "I Want My Baby Back."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0x8S1U7O3w" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0x8S1U7O3w</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #67 on: September 14, 2012, 12:35:37 PM »
Jerry Springer is a multifaceted man. Radio host on Air America, Democratic Party politician, pioneer of trashy television... and country singer?!

Yes, at the height of Jerry-mania, Springer recorded a country music album, Dr. Talk. While I'd rather post his cover of "Mr. Tambourine Man" here (and it's a nightmarish parade of diphthongs), I already featured a version of that song earlier (the William Shatner version).

So, here's a snippet of him singing the old standard "Me and Bobby McGee."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64b6NZDK3Ec&amp;feature=related" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64b6NZDK3Ec&amp;feature=related</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #68 on: September 15, 2012, 10:50:50 AM »
Jim Schoenfeld is best known for his long career in ice hockey-- as a tough-guy for the Buffalo Sabres during his playing days, and as the coach who told notorious NHL ref Don Koharski to "eat another donut, you fat pig."

Well, Jim, toward the end of his junior hockey career and about the same time he joined the Sabres, also recorded an album. *SCHONY was produced by John Valby, a Buffalo-area musician best known for his rather vulgar party tunes. The album selection and arrangements were, at best, questionable: a 1970s hard-rock arrangement of The Beatles' "I Saw Her Standing There," an unnaturally slow version of the Jerry Lee Lewis hit "Great Balls of Fire," and a tap-dance version (mind you, this is an album, not a video) of the old standard "You Always Hurt the One You Love" with a bizarre ending are among the numerous gems on the album. It was a major hit in Buffalo, reaching #2 on the local album charts. In addition, Schoenfeld had a tendency to be kind of melodramatic with his vocal stylings, sloshing all over the place.

Here's a typical piece from the album, a cover of the Bob Dylan tune "All Along the Watchtower."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LuMdB4G7RA" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LuMdB4G7RA</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #69 on: September 16, 2012, 09:08:27 PM »
Somewhere between the death of disco and the rise of hip hop came this piece of marketing disaster.

Here's the fictional character Strawberry Shortcake with the "Strawberry Rap." Now, I've posted some doozies here to this point but I dare anyone to try listening through this whole piece.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9q84ld4IxQ" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9q84ld4IxQ</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #70 on: September 17, 2012, 03:12:20 PM »
Going back through all my entries in this thread, I realized that I once referred to William Shatner as the second-worst act to come out of Canada, with a note that I'd get to Nickelback later (apologies to Justin Bieber, Simple Plan, and any number of other atrocious acts to come out of the True North). Well, I guess there's no better time than today.

Today's entry in the Jukebox from Hell is Nickelback's 2008 hit "Gotta Be Somebody." It's a typical piece of dreck about how even though the singer has been totally impotent at finding love, they "can't give up" because there's "gotta be somebody for [him] out there." Which, from my life experience, is total rubbish because most people find true love by the time they're in their mid-20s and if you haven't found it by then, you're screwed, as I found out the hard way. Many people, whether we like to admit it or not, never find true love and end up alone. The idea of there being someone for everyone is a myth and a lie. End of rant. Now, as for the video... it has nothing to do with the song, which is no surprise.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Briefing Room, as promised, I present Nickelback.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0VRj2uw9L0" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0VRj2uw9L0</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #71 on: September 19, 2012, 05:51:08 PM »
Meet Eilert Pilarm.

Pilarm, a Swede, is an incredibly bad Elvis impersonator with very little sense of rhythm, tone, the English language, or how to look like Elvis. He first came to fame in 1992 on the Swedish variety radio program Morgonpasset... and once you hear him, you'll understand why.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Briefing Room, I present the Eilert Pilarm Megamix.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DYyfEJBrr0&amp;feature=related" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DYyfEJBrr0&amp;feature=related</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #72 on: September 21, 2012, 07:41:55 PM »
B.J. Snowden is a music teacher from Massachusetts. While she's a skilled instrumentalist and shows competence at songwriting and arranging, her singing style seems to be heavily impaired by a rhoticism (a difficulty in pronouncing the letter "R"). She was featured in Irwin Chusid's book and album Songs in the Key of Z, which highlighted offbeat musicians. While Snowden initially bristled at being compared to the artists in that book, she's come to embrace the, er, honor.

Here's Snowden with an unusual ode to Canada, "In Canada."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qvNk52mXiU" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qvNk52mXiU</a>
« Last Edit: September 21, 2012, 07:42:53 PM by jmyrlefuller »
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #73 on: September 22, 2012, 09:40:36 PM »
The Ohio Express was an unusual group. Heck, it'd be difficult to classify them as a group at all-- they were more like a brand that was used for several different bands.

One of them was a guy named Joey Levine. Levine was signed to Buddah Records and used the Ohio Express band to write and record this tune. Oddly enough, Buddah also assembled a "live band" for performances and appearances, of which Levine was not a member. There is an urban legend of a story where the "Ohio Express" live band had no idea of what was supposed to be their own latest single when requested at a concert.

This tune, typical of Levine's output, was inane sunshine pop with stupid lyrics. It also ranked #2 in Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs. Here's "Yummy Yummy Yummy."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozqfOzqMvlQ" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozqfOzqMvlQ</a>
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Re: The Jukebox from Hell
« Reply #74 on: September 23, 2012, 12:55:17 PM »
Over the course of this thread, I've featured a few songs from Irwin Chusid's 2000 compilation album, Songs in the Key of Z. The album is a collection of what Chusid calls "outsider music." That's a phrase Chusid coined himself, and one that seems to mean whatever Chusid wants it to mean at any given time. For instance, he includes the likes of Joe Meek (a successful English record producer) seemingly solely because he was gay, Syd Barrett (the original leading force behind Pink Floyd) for his later drug-induced insanity, and other obvious "insiders." Me, I prefer the term "offbeat music."

Anyway, the album has a lot of stuff. Much of it is just plain weird, and much of it is, in its own perverse way, brilliant. Take, for instance, the example of nursing-home resident Jack Mudurian from Boston. One day, after Mudurian performed in a talent show at the home, he boasted that he had a repertoire larger than that of Frank Sinatra's. Well, an employee with a cassette-tape recorder decided to take him up on his boast. Mudurian obliged and the result was Downloading the Repertoire-- 47 minutes and 129 consecutive songs (some of which were repeated) of Mudurian singing non-stop, mostly Tin Pan Alley tunes.

As far as quality, it was what you could expect of a guy in a nursing home. Now imagine listening to 47 minutes of some old guy in a nursing home on a jukebox and you'll find out why this is in the Jukebox from Hell.

Here's the first song from Downloading the Repertoire, a cover of "Chicago (That Toddlin' Town)."

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ469i6crGE" target="_blank" class="aeva_link bbc_link new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ469i6crGE</a>
The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. It may just be that I have two enemies.


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