Author Topic: Today's Toons 9/26/11  (Read 3162 times)

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Online pookie18

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Today's Toons 9/26/11
« on: September 26, 2011, 08:21:16 am »

 


 


 


 


 

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"Regulation"
 

 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

NASA reports that a dead satellite will be falling to earth even faster than expected. Apparently it's now in a dead heat with Obama's poll numbers.  
 
 
 
Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner told Europe's leaders to stop bickering and take control of the debt crisis that has brought "catastrophic risk" to financial markets. Next, Michael Moore will give them advice on dieting.  
 

President Obama's campaign is now selling $15 dog leashes that say "2012 Barack's Best Friend". Huh. Wonder what the pooper-scoopers say?  
 
 
 
In Maryland, highway crews faced the unpleasant task of cleaning up a manure spill that covered a 1.5 mile stretch of road. Now they know how Republicans will feel after 2012.  
 
 
 
Illinois unveiled a new 24-hour hotline to help illegal immigrants. How about unveiling a hotline to report people using the hotline?  
 
 
 
The Democrat-controlled Senate said President Obama's "urgent" jobs bill won't even be voted on until next month. Guess all their weekend midnights are booked solid until then.  
 
 
 
President Obama defended his new tax plan by talking about how George Washington would deal with tax problems. Wait... how will declaring war on the British fix the deficit?  
 
 
 
In New York, an International House of Pancakes has hired a bouncer to keep intoxicated patrons under control. Ya know, in the Obama administration, that job would count as foreign policy experience.  
 

During a group photo with other world leaders, President Obama was the only one who waved at the camera. Well, at least he left the rainbow-wig & John 3:16 sign at home.  
 
 
 
During a fundraiser, President Obama said, "All that hopey changey stuff, as they say? That was real." Yes. Real expensive.  
 
 
 
President Obama pushed his jobs plan in Ohio, standing in front of a bridge that won't get any help from it. That's ok. His reelection chances won't get any help from it, either.  
 
 
 
During a speech in Ohio, President Obama said "I'm a warrior for the middle class." That's nice, but what the middle class needs is an employer.  
 
 
 
During questioning, Obama Labor Secretary Hilda Solis admitted that the definition of a "green job" would include a bus driver. So, apparently the definition is "any job that Obama spends your green on."  
 

After President Obama was caught calling 153 bridges "structurally deficient" that actually weren't, an administration official said the President merely "over-suggested the risk". I prefer the old-fashioned term: "under-truthed".  
 
 
 
  -- Fred Thompson
 

California's unemployment rate jumped to twelve percent in August in statistics out Friday. However, jobs were added in motion picture and sound recording. The voters are so desperate for someone to listen to them that they're actually paying for studio time.   
 

Rick Perry visited the Fashion Week runway show at Trump Tower Wednesday. The Donald took Perry into the dressing room to meet the supermodels. Trump once did this for Bill Clinton but they had to place horse blinders on him and lead him in backwards.  
 
 
 
President Obama told a North Carolina crowd Wednesday if they love him they must help him pass his jobs bill. The president's emotion was real. Obama is determined to help the unemployed because it looks increasingly likely that in a year he'll be one of them.  
 

Democrats in Washington whispered Friday that the party would be better off if Obama didn't run for re-election. They said he might be persuaded to become head of the World Bank or the International Monetary Fund. Republicans believe he should be made Secretary General of the U.N. and let the world's governing body figure out where he's from.  
 

President Obama named his new tax hike on upper-income Americans after Warren Buffett Monday. Most of the billionaire's business comes from selling insurance products which help rich people avoid high taxes. He paid President Obama ten million dollars for the naming rights and he already made his money back.  
 

The Washington Post reported Monday that President Obama has begun brewing his own honey-ale beer at the White House. He's trying to save the taxpayers some money. The cost of catering a beer summit every time he ticked someone off was breaking the budget.  
 

President Obama's speech calling for tax hikes Monday sank the stock market two hundred points. His speech to Congress sank the Dow two hundred points. He could save the Pentagon lots of money if he'd start giving speeches about reforming the Chinese Navy.  
 

Don't Ask, Don't Tell ended Tuesday when the U.S. military began taking applications from openly gay recruits. It'll be a great fighting force. We could be first army in history to train soldiers to be combat ready on a moment's notice by having them shower together.  
 

President Obama took credit for the Arab Spring in a U.N. speech Wednesday. He said what's happened in Egypt, Libya and to bin Laden proves that peace can come without violence. Apparently Osama bin Laden was killed by a yoga instructor from the Navy SEALs.  
 

The Secret Service caught a guy who successfully leaped over the White House fence near the western gate on Tuesday. It didn't end well. The fence jumper was caught and wrestled to the ground by federal agents and then ushered back to work in the Oval Office.  
 

President Obama addressed the U.N. General Assembly in New York Thursday where he assured the world that the U.S. remains strong. He began the speech by declaring that the U.S. dollar is sound. It always helps to get the crowd on your side by opening with a joke.  
 

President Obama got Warren Buffett to join him onstage for a campaign fundraiser at the Four Seasons in New York. It's come down to this. After the president's Israel policy, the only way he can get a dinner reservation in New York is by using someone else's name.  
 

President Obama will shut down traffic on Sunset Boulevard for eight hours when he speaks at a fundraiser at the House of Blues in West Hollywood Monday. It will disrupt the local economy. All the cocaine dealers live in Hollywood and all their customers live in Beverly Hills, so a roadblock on Sunset Boulevard could prevent the free flow of commerce.  
 

-- Argus Hamilton
 

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not at the U.N. He was arrested for hiking in Iran. 
 
 
 
-- Letterman
 

If a person contributes just $5 to President Obama’s campaign, that person will become eligible to win a private dinner with the president. But if you win, you’re buying.   
 

Astronomers have discovered a planet that has two suns. That solar company Solyndra went bankrupt on that planet too.  
 

President Obama says his new jobs bill will create over 1.9 million jobs — and up to 50 of them will be right here in America.  
 

Obama said Americans feel things aren’t fair, that the deck is stacked against them, and that nobody is paying attention. That’s an inspiring campaign speech  
 
 
 
Obama bought equipment to brew his own beer in the White House. That might explain some of those economic policies.
 
 

The military’s policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell” is officially over. Don’t confuse this with President Obama’s economic policy, which is “don’t ask, I don’t want to talk about it.”  
 

President Obama’s hometown newspaper, the Chicago Tribune has called on Obama not to run for re-election. He has to run. He knows there are no other jobs out there.  
 

The Solyndra executives are scheduled to testify before Congress, and they’re expected to take the 5th. Why not take the 5th? They’ve already taken $535 million.  
 

Gays can now openly serve in the military, which is good news, unless you’re gay and you don’t want to join the military and they reinstate the draft.  
 

-- Leno
 

During a fundraiser in New York last night, President Obama said he was quote “in a New York state of mind.” Of course, in a year he might be singing that other Billy Joel song, “‘Movin’ Out.”  
 

Yesterday President Obama arrived 25 minutes late for a luncheon at the U.N. In fact he was so late, he had to sit next to Biden at the kids table. 
 

First Lady Michelle Obama will appear on the season premiere of "Extreme Home Makeover" on Sunday. The good news is, she’ll be refurbishing a house for a new family to move into; the bad news is, it’s the White House.  
 

-- Jimmy Fallon
 

President Obama addressed the United Nations General Assembly. He opened up with a joke: “The American dollar is strong.”  
 
 
 
-- Jimmy Kimmel
 

Some critics say Obama should be focusing on jobs instead of addressing the UN. But I think it’s important for Obama to talk to the other countries — because they’re the ones that have all of our jobs. 
 
 
 
-- Craig Ferguson
 
 
 


Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 9/26/11
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2011, 11:15:10 am »
yeah pookie!

Offline illeagle

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Re: Today's Toons 9/26/11
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2011, 11:46:45 am »
Thank you Pookie! :seeya:
“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke

 “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 9/26/11
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2011, 03:21:45 pm »

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 9/26/11
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2011, 03:22:54 pm »
Thank you Pookie! :seeya:

You're welcome, Illeagle!

Offline massadvj

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Re: Today's Toons 9/26/11
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2011, 04:43:48 pm »
Thanks, Pookie!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 9/26/11
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2011, 04:53:31 pm »
Thanks, Pookie!

My pleasure, massadvj!