Author Topic: Today's Toons 7/25/11  (Read 3946 times)

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Online pookie18

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Today's Toons 7/25/11
« on: July 25, 2011, 08:29:46 am »

 


 


 


 


 

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter P:
 

 
 

In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

Emails newly released by the White House show that the Obama administration had an anti-Fox News bias. I guess you can't really call this an "enemies list" since there's only one name on it.   
 
 
 
During Wednesday's debt ceiling negotiations, President Obama told House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, "Don't call my bluff". Ok, we won't call. We'll see you and raise.  
 
 
 
MSNBC's Ed Schultz said President Obama was "the most honest broker Washington has seen in a long, long time." That's true, because, honestly, no one's made us broker.  
 
 
 
A group of bicyclists rode from Burbank to Long Beach faster than a JetBlue airliner made the same trip. How long until DHS Secretary Napolitano calls for biker patdowns out of "fairness"?  
 
 
 
Republican Senator John Barrasso plans to introduce a bill to let every American apply for an Obamacare waiver. In the spirit of Obamacare, though, shouldn't we make waivers mandatory?  
 
 
 
In Georgia, police shut down a girl's lemonade stand because it didn't have a business license. Probably could've gotten away with it if she'd had a "funded by the stimulus" sign.  
 
 
 
Using over $700,000 in government money, a California electric car company folded before it even produced a single thing. Bet Obama's thinking "Oh boy! New Commerce Secretary!"  
 

In North Carolina, an electronic DOT road sign was hacked to display the message "Impeach Obama." Guess now there's finally someone Eric Holder won't mind sending to Gitmo.  
 
 
 
MSNBC's Chris Matthews described the Republican position on the debt ceiling as "Mrs. O'Leary's cow politics." Well, in terms of historical animal analogies, it's probably closer to Paul Revere's horse.  
 
 
 
In violation of six UN Security Council resolutions, Iran added more centrifuges to it's uranium enrichment program. I know this sounds drastic, but I really think it may be time to consider passing a 7th resolution.  
 
 
 
Los Angeles approved a new animal ordinance that would allow dogs to be seized just for chasing people. Oh, I get it. Kinda like how Eric Holder handles the Border Patrol.  
 
 
 
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said that President Obama was showing leadership by "not proposing a plan" to fix the debt. Wish he'd show leadership by not spending our money.  
 
 
 
After a used car lot wouldn't take back the lemon it sold him, an angry New Hampshire man drove onto the lot and smashed into 6 different cars. Reminds me of the 2010 elections.  
 

A new promotional video released by the Department of Homeland Security characterizes white middle class Americans as the most likely terrorists. That's outrageous! Why are they letting wheelchair-bound grandmothers off the hook like that?  
 
 
 
Democrat Senator John Kerry, speaking on the Senate floor, said that the Founding Fathers would be against the Balanced Budget Amendment. No, John, they'd be against a government that made people feel the need for one.  
 
 
 
MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski said that Democrats aren't raising taxes, they're just bringing them to "normal levels". Ya know, Mika, at one time, not having an income tax at all was "normal".  
 
 
 
MSNBC's Chris Matthews said that President Obama is "doing what Reagan did." Yeah - making people not want to re-elect a Democrat President.  
 
 
 
  -- Fred Thompson
 

The Arab League backed a plan Thursday for the U.N. to recognize Palestinian statehood in September by circumventing a U.S. veto with a floor vote. That won't be the last word. On the opening episode of The Apprentice this fall, Donald Trump will fire the U.N. and turn it into condos.  
 

President Obama reportedly stormed out of budget talks Wednesday because Republican House Leaders kept refusing to raise any taxes at all. The options for raising federal revenue are limited. The president is thinking of ordering the TSA to sell all the naked pictures on eBay.  
 
 
 
President Obama offered the GOP entitlement cuts Friday but he warned them not to call his bluff on tax hikes. So he called his own bluff and dropped tax hikes, prompting the GOP to fold on entitlement cuts. Everyone gets special parking at the World Series of Really Bad Poker.  
 
 
 
Los Angeles returned to normal after the San Diego Freeway was closed Friday prompting city officials to ask everybody to stay out of their cars for a day and a half. The silence was eerie. If not for the sound of small businesses folding the city would have been completely quiet.  
 

President Obama named Rich Cordray to head the new Consumer Protection Agency. It is tasked to pressure banks to make more loans to people with bad credit in the interest of fairness to all. It's part of a new cabinet-level agency called the Department of Future Recession.  
 
 
 
The Weather Channel reported triple-digit temperatures Wednesday extending from the Midwest to the Eastern Seaboard. The heat combined with high humidity made life hard to bear. It's so hot in Washington D.C. that Congress voted to have a fan installed in the debt ceiling.  
 
 
 
President Obama admitted in a Kansas City radio interview Tuesday the next election will be a referendum on him and his presidency. The White House quickly clarified his statement. What the president meant to say is that Bush has screwed up left field so badly that nobody can play it.  
 
 
 
Mexico reported a steep drop in the birth rate in the Mexico census Tuesday. The average Mexican couple now has only two children, compared to the average Mexican couple having seven children just thirty years ago. That's how hard it is to afford private school in Los Angeles.  
 
 
 
The Federal Election Commission ordered John Edwards to pay back two million dollars Thursday. He's been indicted for steering campaign contributions to cover up his mistress and their love child. Comedians will always look at John Edwards as the president who got away.  
 
 
 
Psychological Journal released a study Monday which finds that the sight of the American flag causes people to think more conservatively and vote Republican. That's logical. Barack Obama might have made a mistake when he took us into Libya under the flag of the Arab League.  
 

General David Petraeus left his military post in Afghanistan Monday to head the CIA. He is fully trained to deal with the situation he faces in Washington D.C. Iraq and Afghanistan just agreed to keep U.S. troops in their countries until the U.S. can prove it's ready for self-government.  
 

-- Argus Hamilton
 

This weekend, the final “Harry Potter” movie made a record-breaking $476 million worldwide. Yeah, “Harry Potter” made so much money this weekend, President Obama just asked him for a loan.  
 
 
 
China’s mad at President Obama for meeting with the Dalai Lama, but come on. Obama doesn’t owe them anything — except like $14 trillion. 
 
 
 
-- Jimmy Fallon
 

There’s a move to divide California into two states: the state of poverty and the state of bankruptcy.
 
 
 
 
 
The problem is coming up with a new name for Southern California. “New Mexico” is already taken.  
 
 
 
President Obama says he will not give in on the debt ceiling even if it costs him his presidency. Well, that should make the Republicans fold. 
 

President Obama said he turns 50 this week, but he actually doesn’t turn 50 until Aug. 4. This means that even he hasn’t seen his birth certificate.  
 
 
 
There’s talk of splitting California into two different states. Apparently, this divorce between Arnold and Maria is bigger than we thought.  
 
 
 
President Obama’s 50th birthday is coming up. If you’re thinking about getting him something, he could use about $14 trillion. 
 
 
 
President Obama’s motorcade was fined $16 for traffic it caused while in the United Kingdom. Typical for Obama, he said, “My grandkids will pay for it.”  
 
 
 
-- Leno
 

Amid the heat, health officials are telling Americans to stay home. Americans responded by saying, “We are home. We have no jobs.” 
 
 
 
-- Conan
 

It was so hot in Washington that Congress had to install a fan on the debt ceiling.  
 

President Obama and I have a lot in common. No one laughs at our jokes and we were both born in foreign countries. 
 

-- Craig Ferguson
 

--------------------------------------------
 

SHORT AND SWEET LESSON: 
 

The last four letters in American...I Can 
 

The last four letters in Republican...I Can 
 

The last four letters in Democrats...Rats 
 

End of lesson.
 

Test to follow in November, 2012
 

Remember, November is to be set aside as rodent extermination month!
 
 
 

Offline Davidfxs

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2011, 10:29:00 am »
Thank you Pookie have a great week
Liberals are like Slinkies, Good for nothing really. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of Stairs.

Offline illeagle

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2011, 11:02:07 am »
Thanks Pookie. Great Monday Toons! :seeya:
“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke

 “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1

Offline niobe527

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2011, 11:05:53 am »
good morning pookie

Offline massadvj

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2011, 01:01:50 pm »
Thank you, Pookie!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2011, 03:03:18 pm »
Thank you Pookie have a great week

You're welcome & the same to you, David!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2011, 03:04:57 pm »
Thanks Pookie. Great Monday Toons! :seeya:

My pleasure, Illeagle!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2011, 03:05:31 pm »
good morning pookie

Mornin', niobe!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2011, 03:06:11 pm »
Thank you, Pookie!

You're welcome, as always, massadvj!

Offline ricebug

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2011, 08:54:15 pm »
G'day, Pookie!!!!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/25/11
« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2011, 08:56:51 pm »