Author Topic: Today's Toons 7/11/11  (Read 3731 times)

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Offline pookie18

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Today's Toons 7/11/11
« on: July 11, 2011, 10:36:31 am »
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters R & P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

Out on the campaign trail, Michele Bachmann said President Obama thinks "the Tea Party is made up of toothless hillbillies". No, he's actually afraid the Tea Party DOES have teeth.   
 
 
 
Harry Reid introduced a "sense of the Senate" bill calling for "shared sacrifice". Absolutely - ALL of Obama's crazy spending programs should be cut to the bone.  
 

A new report shows that 454 White House aides will make a total of $37 million this year. Ya know, you'd really think a steady stream of bad advice would be a LOT cheaper.  
 
 
 
In Chicago, thieves are stealing entire central air conditioning units to sell as scrap metal. Or it may be part of Obama's new A/C industry stimulus program: Cash for Coolers.  
 
 
 
A new UN plan would spend $76 trillion on programs to correct climate change. Great. So if we want to make the earth "green", we have to put the entire planet in the red?  
 
 
 
Former White House Adviser Christina Romer recently described Obama's economy as a "growth-less recovery". So how about an apology from the accuracy-less adviser who sold us the stimulus?  
 
 
 
When Obama was at that Twitter Town Hall, I'll bet he was really disappointed to discover Twitter doesn't let you borrow extra characters if you run out.  
 
 
 
In Phoenix, 43 weapons recovered during a traffic stop were linked to the ATF's Fast and Furious gun-running scandal. Or maybe it's all part of Obama's new stimulus program: Guns for Gangsters.  
 
 
 
The DNC is using a copy of President Obama's birth certificate as a prop in their latest fundraising mailer. Of course, what people really want to see is a copy of his budget.  
 
 
 
RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said that Obama's policies are "driving us over the cliff". Sadly, he's right. Kinda makes you long for the days when we were stuck in the ditch, doesn't it?  
 

  -- Fred Thompson
 

Harvard University released a survey Friday which found that Fourth of July celebrations turn children into conservatives. The republic may survive after all. It's amazing how a stirring speech and a fireworks show once a year can undo two hundred and seventy days of public school education.  
 

NBC's Mark Halperin was suspended for calling President Obama a slang word for a man's sex organ. The producer didn't push the bleep button during the seven second delay. He's so used to letting the Anthony Weiner story go through uncensored he didn't even notice the word.  
 
 
 
Rock and Roll star Tom Petty ordered Michele Bachmann to stop using his song American Girl Monday. Rock stars hate it when conservative candidates use their music. Until Republicans endorse Ron Paul's bill to legalize marijuana, they'll have to write their own songs..  
 
 
 
President Obama slammed Congress Wednesday for failing to do its job to reach a budget deal and raise the debt ceiling. He can't have it both ways. President Obama wants Congress to do its job, but if Congress does its job they will impeach him for violating the War Powers Act.  
 
 
 
Al Gore gave a speech Friday shifting the blame for global warming to human population growth. Giving up the air conditioner and giving up gas-powered cars isn't enough to save this planet, Al wants us to stop having sex. You might as well tell the Earth to make out its will.  
 
 
 
President Obama begins using Twitter today in a town-hall meeting at the White House. His aides must write all his Tweets for him. By the time Obama is finished blaming Bush and blaming the Republicans he doesn't have enough characters left to blame Wall Street.  
 

Riverside county official Jeff Stone proposed seceding from California with eight other counties to form South California. It's a movement to escape high taxes and responsibility for illegal aliens that could spread. By the time everybody finishes seceding from California, Illinois and New York, Barack Obama's remark that he's visited all fifty-seven states will have turned out to be psychic.  
 
 
 
The White House payroll was revealed Monday, showing that President Obama has a hundred and forty staffers who make more than a hundred grand a year. Every president faces the same problem. He tried to get people to tell him he was right for sixty thousand dollars a year but it wasn't enough.  
 
 
 
President Obama's personal approval rating was ten points below Bill Clinton's personal approval ratings in a poll last week. It seems that there's more public sympathy in America for an adulterer than for a socialist. Everyone's tempted to cheat but nobody's tempted to share.  
 
 
 
President Obama meets with lawmakers from both parties today to seek a budget deal to spur economic growth. A low flat tax would rescue the West Coast. No one wants to say that corporate taxes are too high but the business recession in California is now old enough to drink.  
 
 
 
President Obama fielded questions from people all over the country at his Twitter Town Hall meeting which he hosted at the White House Wednesday. The Obama administration reported that the president's got two million followers. That's not enough, he needs a majority.  
 
 
 
President Obama hosted Democratic and Republican House and Senate leaders Thursday at the White House to try to reach a budget deal and raise the debt limit. Both sides praised the president's commitment to reaching a solution. You have to say that, or you don't get dinner.   
 
 
 
Mexico protested Tuesday when the FBI admitted buying guns at gun shows and releasing them on the black market just to trace their journey to Mexican drug dealers. The crisis is escalating. Mexico is so angry they are threatening to withdraw their students from our schools.  
 
 
 
The Wall Street Journal reported that American kids failed a recent U.S. history test given nationwide. It's appalling. Three-fourths of American kids knew that we gained our independence from Great Britain but no one knew the date we lost our independence to China.  
 
 
 
Homeland Security warned Friday al-Qaeda is planning to attack U.S. airliners with bombs surgically implanted in passengers. No one wants to think about TSA security now. Everybody with an appendix scar is going to be pulled out of line and interrogated, unless they look Muslim.  
 
 
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 

It was so hot in California today that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s clothes were out on the lawn setting themselves on fire.  
 

Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America. 
 

Vice President Joe Biden has a new Twitter account. He said he will not rest until he can embarrass the president on every media platform ever invented. 
 
 
 
Democrats warned that if the debt ceiling isn’t raised, the government would cease to function. How would you be able to tell?   
 
 
 
The government is warning that terrorists may try to blow up airplanes by implanting bombs under their skin. The airlines responded by saying they’ll charge any terrorists that do this a $50 fee.  
 

Lady Gaga complained that the U.S. is allowing Iran and North Korea to get nukes and we have to stop them. Before the White House makes any decision, they’re waiting to hear from Britney Spears.  
 
 
 
-- Leno
 

--------------------------------------------
 

I called my stockbroker and asked what I should be buying.  
 

His response:  
 

"If the current administration is in office much longer, canned goods and ammunition are your best bets."  
 

--------------------------------------------
 

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow, and guided me into a room, 'his' room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear,
 

"Just relax."
 

Without warning, he reached down, and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily.
 

My breath caught in my throat.
 

I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
 

When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. Then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.
 

Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.
 

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought, a man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted.
 

A man who would look into my soul and say...
 

"Okay, ma'am,you can board your flight now."
 

--------------------------------------------
 

Cryptoquote
 
 
 
 
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CZ FVYDCQF. CR VYFZI XMMGCZA
 
 
 
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-- QFXBCZ QMMXCKAY
 
 
 


Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 7/11/11
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2011, 10:47:04 am »
yeah pookie!

Offline Davidfxs

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Re: Today's Toons 7/11/11
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2011, 10:52:46 am »
Thank you Pookie. Have a great day
Liberals are like Slinkies, Good for nothing really. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of Stairs.

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/11/11
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2011, 10:54:53 am »

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/11/11
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2011, 10:55:24 am »
Thank you Pookie. Have a great day

You're welcome, David!

Offline illeagle

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Re: Today's Toons 7/11/11
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2011, 10:57:03 am »
A great Monday morning of Pookie Toons! Thanks Pookie. :beer:
“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke

 “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/11/11
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2011, 11:14:10 am »
A great Monday morning of Pookie Toons! Thanks Pookie. :beer:

My pleasure, Illeagle!

Offline massadvj

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Re: Today's Toons 7/11/11
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2011, 01:05:33 pm »




If this was music or the movies, someone would sue.  But I think these two artists just happened to stumble on the same metaphor in the great collective subconscious.  It's very interesting to me.

BTW, thanks Pookie!
« Last Edit: July 11, 2011, 01:07:10 pm by massadvj »

Offline pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 7/11/11
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2011, 03:25:01 pm »




If this was music or the movies, someone would sue.  But I think these two artists just happened to stumble on the same metaphor in the great collective subconscious.  It's very interesting to me.

BTW, thanks Pookie!

Yeah, noticed that  :laugh: You're welcome, as always, massadvj!