Author Topic: Today's Toons 6/13/11  (Read 4134 times)

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Online pookie18

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Today's Toons 6/13/11
« on: June 13, 2011, 08:29:09 am »

 

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters W & P:
 

 
 
 
In Case You Missed It Dept.:
 

Democrat Congressman Anthony Weiner has introduced a bill that would create 1,000 new visa slots for foreign fashion models. Plus, each one gets a special, personalized "welcome to America" Tweet, too.   
 
 
 
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told supporters that the US is nearing its endpoint and is on the verge of collapse. Of course, unlike in Iran, we can always fix that with an honest election.  
 

Rancho Verde High School in California announced that it will ban frog dissections in biology classes. Next up: getting those pesky dictionaries out of English classes.  
 

You know, the quality of scandals is going down in this country. Do you remember Watergate? "What did the president know and when did he know it?" Now it's "what did the congressman show and when did he show it?"  
 

Democrat Congressman Anthony Weiner admitted that he posted lewd pictures to Twitter, saying he made "terrible mistakes". If it's any consolation, Anthony, everyone who voted for you has a similar regret.  
 
 
 
On the View, Barbara Walters said that if "Palin can ride around on her bus", then Anthony Weiner "can stay in Congress." She sounds bitter. Someone must've Tweeted her a picture of Palin's bus.  
 
 
 
A new report shows that the US government currently has $61.6 trillion in unfunded obligations. Well, at least Obama's working on the obvious solution - faster trains.  
 
 
 
The International Air Transport Association says it hopes to simplify airport security checkpoints by using eye scanners. Sure hope the terrorists are all out of blind sheiks.  
 
 
 
A Chinese blogger was sent to a labor camp after playing a joke on a local Communist Party chief. I guess some people don't think those Anthony Weiner pics are funny anymore.  
 

DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz said that Republicans want to "drag us all the way back to Jim Crow." No, we'll stop dragging you once we got back to Reagan.  
 

Fitch Ratings says it plans to review the worthiness of US debt. Maybe it'll be like Charlie Rangel's review and we'll just have to apologize instead of paying people back.  
 
 
 
In yet another slap in the face to our British allies, President Obama has sided with Argentina against them regarding control of the Falkland Islands. No surprise from a guy who keeps trying to give Arizona back to Mexico.  
 
 
 
A group of "patriotic millionaires" made a video begging Congress to raise taxes on the rich. Guys, it's already legal to send extra money to the Treasury. Knock yourselves out.  
 
 
 
The Transportation Security Administration is considering banning photographing security checkpoints after several videos of awkward patdowns were posted on YouTube. Nice attitude - the problem isn't the problem, the problem is that there's evidence of the problem.  
 
 
 
President Obama announced the formation of a "Rural Council" to "strengthen rural communities and promote economic growth." Translation: "sorry about that 'bitter clingers' thing - Obama 2012!"  
 

Exxon reported that it's made a huge oil discovery in the Gulf of Mexico. Wonder if they'll be allowed to drill it? If Obama had his way, Jed Clampett never would've left the Ozarks.  
 
 
 
  -- Fred Thompson
 

U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner conceded Friday the lewd photos tweeted to his followers may be of himself but he insisted he got hacked. His last name doesn't help here. When charges first surfaced that Weiner had been hacked, Lorena Bobbitt was the first suspect on everybody's list.  
 

John Edwards was indicted by federal prosecutors Friday for using presidential campaign donations to hide his mistress and their love child. The story got huge play in the tabloid press. John Edwards always said we live in two Americas, and he keeps a family in each of them.  
 

Michelle Obama's office announced Friday she will visit South Africa this week and bring along her mother as well as her two daughters. She can't wait to go. Last week she caught the president in bed with his golf clubs and she's decided to give them some quality time alone.  
 
 
 
The N.Y. Supreme Court ruled to allow a Times Square street vendor to sell condoms with the president's image on the packet. Everyone's buying them. Half the country wants to be protected by President Obama while the other half wants to be protected from President Obama.  
 
 
 
The White House reported worsening statistics on employment, manufacturing and home sales Friday. No one knows how much deeper the recession will get. The latest poll shows that most Americans would still vote to reelect President Obama, if only out of morbid curiosity.  
 
 
 
The CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley debuted Monday, heralding the Tiffany Network's determination to return to the top of the ratings. The network says they're going back to the hard news format. Scott Pelley broadcast the first night live from Anthony Weiner's underwear.   
 

Anthony Weiner apologized repeatedly to his wife Huma in Monday's press conference for his lewd behavior online with six women. They were married two years ago in a wedding officiated by Bill Clinton, who administered the vows. There are fewer loopholes in GE's tax return.   
 

Nancy Pelosi called Monday for a House probe of Anthony Weiner for his sex-texting and lewd photo-sharing. She wants to know if he did it on government computers, and if he did was there a plastic cover over the computer at the time, or should she be worried about a virus.  
 
 
 
U.S. Rep Anthony Weiner confessed texting lewd photos to women he met on Facebook. He also admitted to having phone sex with them without ever even meeting them in person. It's just more evidence that the start-up of Facebook was financed by divorce lawyers.  
 
 
 
Syria's government paid Syrian protesters one thousand dollars apiece to storm Israel's border fence Sunday, which resulted in hundreds of civilian casualties. This is how governments create jobs. They pay you to go and die, and then if you die they don't have to pay you.  
 
 
 
The Weather Channel forecast a brutal heat wave for the Eastern Seaboard Thursday that threatens the power grid. Last year a heat wave knocked out cellphones and BlackBerrys in Washington for six hours. It gave Anthony Weiner some much-needed quality time with his wife.  
 
 
 
Secret Service agent Daniel Bongino quit his career Tuesday to run for the U.S. Senate in Maryland as a Tea Party Republican. It was a family decision. His wife wants him to get out of the Secret Service before he's forced to take a bullet for President Obama, which would ruin his career in the GOP.  
 
 
 
Jack Kevorkian was laid to rest in Michigan Saturday after a life dedicated to the right to die. There are new leaders in the suicide movement. John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Anthony Weiner can show anyone how to put their career in the garage and turn the car on.  
 

Senator John Kerry released a report on expenditures in Afghanistan which could hasten U.S. withdrawal. They are hesitant to embrace Western progress. Somehow we have to convince them that democracy doesn't mean their daughters have to follow Anthony Weiner on Twitter.  
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner said Tuesday he will allow the voters in his district to decide if he should remain in Congress. He's receiving a mixed message. In the latest poll in New York City, forty percent of the voters want Anthony Weiner to resign while sixty percent want him to stick it out.  
 
 
 
President Obama's approval rating fell in the Gallup Poll amid fears the country's heading for a new Great Depression. We must be fair. How can a president be expected to get the U.S. economy to turn around when he can't even get Anthony Weiner to turn his back to the camera?  
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner's wife Huma Abedin left for the Middle East with her boss Hillary Clinton Wednesday as transcripts of his X-rated texts and phone sex calls were made public. It was reported that she's three months pregnant. That should quiet rumors that her husband is all talk.  
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner refused to resign from Congress Wednesday despite calls from his fellow Democrats to step down. His constituents are mixed. Forty percent of the voters in his district want Anthony Weiner to keep his seat and sixty percent want him to spray it with Lysol.  
 
 
 
-- Argus Hamilton
 

It’s been a crazy week. First, Anthony Weiner admitted tweeting that photo of his crotch and John Edwards was indicted for covering up an affair. Or as Arnold Schwarzenegger put it, “Thank you God! This is the best week ever!”  
 
 
 
A new poll shows that President Obama is losing the popularity boost he got after Osama bin Laden’s death. Or as Gadhafi’s putting it, “Uh oh.”  
 
 
 
Lawmakers here in New York have proposed a new program to teach teenagers about the dangers of sexting. Seriously? How about a program to teach New York lawmakers about the dangers of sexting?  
 
 
 
President Obama has offered bailout money to keep Greece from defaulting on its loans. Yeah, when Greece thanked him, Obama was like, “Don’t mention it . . . to China, because it’s their money.”  
 
 
 
-- Jimmy Fallon
 

Many of Anthony Weiner’s Democratic colleagues are calling for him to resign to preserve his dignity, but that ship sailed a long time ago.  
 
 
 
-- Jimmy Kimmel
 

Legal experts are now investigating John Edwards for the money he spent to hide his mistress and love child. The good news for Edwards is that he is now eligible to run for governor of California.  
 

The White House says that the unemployment rate is good news because it means more people are looking for jobs. More good news like that, and everyone at the White House will be looking for jobs.  
 
 
 
Congressman Weiner has admitted that he did carry on explicit online relationships with six different women. Well, he thought they were women. Turns out three were woman, one was a guy pretending to be a woman, and the other two were congressmen.  
 
 
 
President Obama's top economic adviser, a man named Austin Goolsbee, is stepping down: He will be replaced by something a little more effective, the Magic 8-Ball.  
 

President Obama said today he's not concerned about a double-dip recession. He's more concerned the recovery we're in is not creating enough jobs. In fact, do you know what you call a recovery that isn't creating enough jobs? A recession.  
 

The beautiful star of the TV show “Mad Men,” January Jones, is pregnant, but she will not reveal who the father is. To which John Edwards said, "Why can't I meet women like this?”  
 
 
 
President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner have agreed to play a round of golf together. Imagine the two of them at the end of that golf game? Boehner will be crying over his score and Obama will be giving three explanations as to why his score is actually better than it appears.  
 
 
 
-- Leno
 

It turns out that one of the women Congressman Anthony Weiner was communicating with was a porn star. When asked how it was possible to get involved with someone in such a sleazy business, the porn star said, “I don’t know.”  
 

Comedy people sit around for years hoping for a scandal called “Weinergate.” And then it happens.  
 
 
 
Donald Trump said Anthony Weiner is a psycho. So look for him on the next season of “Celebrity Apprentice.”  
 

Fifty-one percent of New York voters think Weiner should keep his seat. The other 49 percent think he should disinfect it.  
 
 
 
Democrats and Republicans are calling for Congressman Anthony Weiner to resign. Late night comedians are asking him to hang in there.  
 
 
 
-- Conan
 

Weiner admitted to sending underpants photos of himself. It’s a huge political scandal. Arnold Schwarzenegger even called Weiner to say, “Thank you.”  
 

-- Craig Ferguson
 

If Weiner resigns, they’re already talking about replacing him with Ashton Kutcher.  
 
 
 
-- Letterman
 
 
 
 

Offline Davidfxs

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Re: Today's Toons 6/13/11
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2011, 10:42:24 am »
Thank you Pookie. Have a great day.
Liberals are like Slinkies, Good for nothing really. But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of Stairs.

Offline illeagle

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Re: Today's Toons 6/13/11
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2011, 10:56:32 am »
I made it through the week end with out Pookie Toons! Thanks, Pookie! :silly:
“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke

 “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1

Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 6/13/11
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2011, 11:02:09 am »
yeah pookie!



This one's good, but I think I can go one better (will try tonight).

Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 6/13/11
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2011, 11:45:44 am »
Ok, so this isn't the promised pic (that'll be tonight - too much time to do it this am), but here's a little one-off I just whipped up - probably not post-worthy, but I liked putting some reality into that image by tipping the scales the way they actually are:  against the taxpayer.

Inequality Before the Law


Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 6/13/11
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2011, 02:43:46 pm »
Thank you Pookie. Have a great day.

You're welcome, David!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 6/13/11
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2011, 02:44:40 pm »
I made it through the week end with out Pookie Toons! Thanks, Pookie! :silly:

Congrats & my pleasure, Illeagle!

Online pookie18

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Re: Today's Toons 6/13/11
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2011, 02:47:11 pm »
yeah pookie!



This one's good, but I think I can go one better (will try tonight).

Mornin', Oceander! $527,001.00?! ;)

Oceander

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Re: Today's Toons 6/13/11
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2011, 03:01:45 pm »
Mornin', Oceander! $527,001.00?! ;)


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