Today's Toons 3/30/20

[pookie18]

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter C:


In Case You Missed It Dept.:

President Trump urged calm a press conference despite his opponents blasting away at his Corona Virus containment policy. For four years, the Democrats have charged that Trump has divided this country and kept us all apart. And today, that's the only thing that's keeping us alive.

CNN pundits groused that the nomination boiled down to Bernie and Biden with no women or blacks making the final cut. It was all going according to rainbow multicultural plan until they had to face the voters. Andrew Yang endorsed Biden saying Joe was the white man for the job.

Elizabeth Warren went on TV to claim that Democratic voters were sexist in denying her the nomination. In one year, she lost the presidential race and the Indian race. One more race loss they'll ship her to Santa Anita Racetrack and she'll become the glue that holds this country together.

Joe Biden steamrolled toward the nomination with big primary wins as rumors were swirling he was considering Hillary as his running mate. That would be consequential. If Hillary is his vice president Joe Biden will be the first president in history to commit suicide in the White House.

Los Angeles had long grocery store lines of panic buyers when the WHO declared COVID-19 a pandemic. In ultra-liberal West Hollywood, the empty shelves are hilarious. The same people who say you don't need that much ammo are buying seventy-two rolls of toilet paper at a time.

NIH Director Dr. Anthony Fauci spoke to Congress and he warned the lawmakers that stern measures are ahead to combat the virus. The CDC quarantined every nursing home in America Wednesday. However the DNC insisted they let Biden and Bernie out for occasional campaign events.

The White House said top scientists are working on a COVID-19 cure and a vaccine. The surest way to get rid of the Corona Virus is to put it on the ballot as a Democratic presidential candidate. That is, unless it has dirt on Hillary, then it will be the first time in history that a pandemic committed suicide.

President Trump took great pains to assure Americans we're in a health crisis, not a financial crisis. With that day's fourteen-hundred-point drop in the Dow, the market moved into bear territory after eleven years. And just like that, Obama stopped taking credit for the stock market.

The DNC changed its debate rules to keep Tulsi Gabbard out of the Saturday debate. However, during a Fox News interview, Tulsi smiled big and said she liked her chances of getting the nomination. Think about it, the Corona Virus is spreading and her two opponents are both over 75.

Russia's Parliament passed a measure to allow Vladimir Putin to ignore the term limits law in Russia and allow him to remain their president for yet another twelve years. Putin won his last presidential election in a landslide. Coincidentally, his election opponents died in a landslide.

Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti issued an order that all bars and restaurants must be closed in Los Angeles. It's easier across the country. New York's governor announced the state will allow audience events of less than five hundred people, so Joe Biden rallies will still be permitted.

President Trump closed the U.S. borders last week prompting our Cousins to follow suit so now Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Ireland closed their borders. It greatly restricts immigration. Barbra Streisand can now only threaten to move to the San Fernando Valley if Trump gets reelected.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo ruled to keep Manhattan restaurants open for delivery orders to residents and businesses. It's vital to the city's daily life. I'll admit I'm no New Yorker, and thus not an expert on the matter, but from what I've seen, COVID-19 is the worst Chinese takeout EVER.

The London Daily Mail reported a medical breakthrough in France Tuesday when French doctors announced testing results showing that a long-used malaria drug kills COVID-19. You can't make it up. A pill that kills the Chinese Virus is also the pill that keeps you from turning yellow.

NIH Director Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared on cable news shows to praise President Trump's handling of the crisis. The danger is still very real. I don't want to say the mainstream media is panicking but CNN just ordered its reporters and news anchors to hate President Trump from home.

-- Argus Hamilton


(Thank you, nateman)

[verga]

Thank you Pookie

[240B]

True Fact
Biden has never been seen, or photographed, or even rumored to approach a Black woman. It was widely known in D.C. that being Black was Biden repellent. He loves little White girls and little Asians. But he has never made a move on any Black girl, ever.

[pookie18]

Thank you Pookie

You're welcome, Verga!

[Polly Ticks]

Thanks, Pookie!

[pookie18]

Thanks, Pookie!

My pleasure, Polly Ticks

[ricebug]

G'day, Pookie!!

[pookie18]

G'day, Pookie!!

G'day, Ricebug!

[conservativevoter]

Bless you, Pookie!  Good ones.   

[Cyber Liberty]

Thanks for the Toons with Extras, Pookie!!!

[pookie18]

Bless you, Pookie!  Good ones.   

Glad you liked 'em, conservativevoter!

[pookie18]

Thanks for the Toons with Extras, Pookie!!!

You're welcome, as always, CL!

[Smokin Joe]

Thanks, pookie!

[pookie18]

Thanks, pookie!

My pleasure, as ever, Smokin Joe!