Obit for a man who lost in Vietnam "all that underpinned his life"

[mountaineer]

This is an obituary written by a man for his brother who served in Vietnam and recently died in a Montana nursing home. I excerpted as much as I could.

William Ebeltoft

“Not everyone who lost his life in Vietnam died there.” The saying is true for CW2 William C. Ebeltoft. He died on December 15, 2019 at the Veteran’s Home in Columbia Falls, Montana. He died 50 years after he lost, in Vietnam, all that underpinned his life. He was 73 years old.    ...

It is difficult to write about Bill. He lived three lives: before, during and after Vietnam. Before Vietnam, Bill was a handsome man, who wore clothing well; a man with white, straight teeth that showed in his ready smile. A state champion trap shooter, a low handicap golfer, a 218-average bowler, a man of quick, earthy wit, with a fondness for children, old men, hunting, fast cars, and a cold Schlitz. He told jokes well.

During Vietnam, he lived with horrors of which he would only seldom speak. Slow Motion Four, Bill’s personal call sign, logged thousands of helicopter flight hours performing Forward Support Base resupply landings, medical evacuations, exfils and gun ship runs. We know of him there mostly through medals for valor he received, and these were many. The following is quoted from but one of these, recording events that occurred on February 3, 1969. “While acting as aircraft commander of a UH-1H helicopter, WO Ebeltoft distinguished himself when his ship came under heavy automatic weapons while on a resupply mission for Company B, 1 Battalion, 52 infantry. While attempting to resupply B Company, WO Ebeltoft’s co-pilot became wounded. Realizing the importance of the mission WO Ebeltoft elected to attempt completion of the mission. Due to his superior knowledge of the aircraft, the helicopter was kept under control during the period in which the pilot was wounded and the ship was under fire. Remaining under attack from automatic weapons fire, the supply mission was successfully completed. While unloading the supplies, WO Ebeltoft received word that there were five emergency medical evacuation cases located 200 meters to his rear. WO Ebeltoft re-positioned his helicopter and picked up the wounded personnel. While evacuating the wounded, the commanding officer of Company B was injured. WO Ebeltoft again maneuvered his aircraft to enable evacuation of the injured officer. WO Ebeltoft then proceeded to evacuate all injured personnel by the fastest possible means. Upon completion, examination of the aircraft revealed that the craft had sustained nine enemy .30 caliber hits.”   ...

After being discharged as a decorated hero, Bill had a rough re-entry into civilian life. It is not necessary to recount Bill’s portion of what is an all-too-common story for wartime veterans, particularly those of the Vietnam era. It may be sufficient to say that after a run at business, a marriage and while grappling daily with his demons, his mental faculties escaped him. Bill became a resident of the Veteran’s Home in Columbia Falls, Montana in 1994. He lived there for the next 26 years.

At the Home, the patina of his memory covered life’s sorrows, and it was a blessing. Bill was happy there, living a life that was a strange mixture of hunting stories, pickup trucks and memories of some of his better times with women, friends and the outdoor life. Bill denied that anyone he loved had died ....

In the past year, Bill’s shaky grip on physical health also slipped through his fingers. Yet, despite this, what we loved in him remained, if only sometimes as a shadow. Even after his serious decline, suffering fractures because of falls, Bill would tell the staff that he was “just fine” and not to worry about him. ...

Bill was always a proud man, remembering himself as he was in 1969, not as he became. Who are we to suggest differently? His was not a life that many would wish for, but in some ways, Bill was a lucky man. He was surrounded to the end by staff who enjoyed and respected him. He had a chance to be helpful to others who were doing less well than he. And the passing of the seasons never diminished his plans for another elk hunt or to “see that beautiful girl again this weekend.”

When a small slice of reality penetrated his pleasant confusion, Bill struggled to understand why he was where he was. Prematurely aged, his worldly goods in a small dresser, not knowing who the President might be or remembering why he should care, Bill’s losses were greater than most of us could endure. Yet, to those who love him, his brother and his brother’s wife, and their sons, he will always be a brave, accomplished man, more generous than was wise, more trusting than was safe.

It is not possible to wrap your arms around a loved one who leaves. But it is possible to wrap your heart around a memory. Bill’s will be well taken care of.  ...

The Dickenson (N.D.) Press

Also viewable at the funeral home website.

[sneakypete]

This is truly sad. Far too many people don't understand the insane risks that many "slick" pilots took landing under fire to pull out surrounded soldiers,or flying over surrounded soldiers under fire at low altitude and VERY slow speed or hovering,to drop off ammunition and medical resupplies.

His slick taking 9 hits is nothing,depending where they were. ONE hit on what the aircrews called "the Jesus Nut" because about all you had time to do was say "Oh Jesus!" before you hit the ground like a rock was a killer,but other than that one serious weakness,the Huey's were pretty damn tough. A hit on a hydraulic line could cause an eventual forced landing,but unless it caused a fire,the pilots usually had enough time to try to find a flat,open place to land. True,most of those places were covered with either AA guns or 52 caliber machine guns,but sometimes you got lucky.

In short,being a slick pilot or door gunner was every bit as dangerous as being an infantryman. I have no idea why they never received the recognition they deserved,even from the military. There can be no doubt they earned it. If you don't believe me,ask any ex-infantryman you know.

[Applewood]

Had a good friend, now deceased, who was never the same after Vietnam.  I didn't know him before his service, but longtime friends of his told me Bill was a happy-go-lucky guy.  After Vietnam, he suffered from bouts of raging depression, occasional paranoia and nightmares.  On one occasion he awoke from a nightmare to find himself choking his wife.  He tried to get help from the VA, but of course, they did nothing for him.  Eventually, Bill developed numerous physical health issues and succumbed to heart disease at 47. 

Tough enough to be in a war the politicians had no intention of winning, but then facing  civilians who called them "baby killers" and even worse.  And getting little to no help from the government which sent them over there.  No wonder so many of them ended up a mess like Mr. Ebeltoft and my friend, Bill. 

Rest in peace, Mr. Ebeltoft.

[Idiot]

God bless him for his service to our country...… 

[sneakypete]

And getting little to no help from the government which sent them over there.  No wonder so many of them ended up a mess like Mr. Ebeltoft and my friend, Bill. 

Rest in peace, Mr. Ebeltoft.

@Applewood

Oh,it was MUCH worse than that. I got medivaced from VN for "Tropical Acne" that covered my whole torso,front and rear. Because of this I was put on a permanent physical profile stating I coun't get dirty or sweaty,and that I had to be able to take hot water showers daily. It also meant I was effectively kicked out of SF because I obviously couldn't wear wear gear,a rucksack,or go on patrols.

The result was I was medivaced from VN to the Special Warfare Center because I still had a SF MOS,and after a couple of months there it became obvious it wasn't going away anytime soon,so they promoted me and sent me to the conventional army. It's really hard to say who hated that more,me or the regular army.

I ended up getting discharged a few months later after being offered another promotion if I would volunteer to go to VN with that Company Commander at Bragg and be his driver/bodyguard/whatever. Mostly a office and air-conditioning job with NO time in the jungle. The thing is I MISSED my time in the jungle,and to this very day have not had any nightmares about VN. Hell,I still miss it. So do most of the VN vets I know well enough to talk about this with.

Anyhow,I got ZERO disability for "tropical acne" after getting out,which really pissed me off because I had been offered medical retirement if I wanted it. I didn't want it because I was hoping I could get better and go back on a team and work with people I liked and respected.

Maybe 6 years later "Agent Orange" became a "thing",but I pretty much ignored it because it had mostly quit being a problem. Still had a few cysts and sores,but no more green pus running out of my armpits or open sores on my torso.

Then AO became a BIG "thing" and announcements were made on tv that any vet that thought he might have been exposed to in VN needed to go to the nearest VN hospital for a VERY through physical exam. So,what the hell,I went. VA docs were their usual assholes,coming right out and telling me,and I am assuming the others,that the whole thing was a  scam to try to rip the government off for money,and all I needed to do was start taking baths and it would go away.

I MAY have told that doctor a few things he didn't want to hear,and most likely made some suggestions  impossible,painful, and rude. Didn't really give a damn because I knew they were going find a reason to not pay me anyhow.

Guess what? The exam came back positive for Agent Orange,and I was awarded an additional 30 percent disability rating for it. That wasn't the good news,though. The good news was I guess I pissed off that cowardly punk of a doctor into falsifying my medical medical records,because on the same page as the announcement that I was now rated at 30 percent disabled due to Agent Orange exposure,they took away the 20 percent disability rating I had on my back due to a parachuting injury in training. The awards letter actually stated my back had healed.

What made this the good news is I had taken the test to work for the post office and passed it,but at the employment interview the metrosexual puddle of pus whose job it was to screen me turned me down "because you have a history of back trouble". That's right,I instantly had my back "healed by VA Doctor",and the post office had no choice but to hire me.  I went back and demanded they hire me because I was a disabled vet that had passed their test,and when the puke looked up my prior application he happily informed me that "We have proof you have a bad back right here!",and I happily told him "I have proof it is healed right here!",and pointed to that paragraph on my award letter. I may have added a Mo Fo or two for emphasis.

You would think I had just stomped a bunch of kittens to death after shooting Santa out of the sky from his reaction. He had no choice but to hire me,but you could see it clearly broke his heart.

I was lucky enough to work as a lettercarrier for 5 years before the Agent Orange decided to pay me a visit again,and the Post Office forced me to retire. The good news is this time I didn't walk away penniless with no income.

And to think I almost didn't bother to go for the physical because they had already turned me down for disability a couple of times,and even told me I was trying to rip off the VA for a pension. Hadn't been for that I MIGHT not have made all those suggestions to the doctor that decided to screw me by lying about my back problems.

Karma just happened to be sitting on my shoulder that day at the VA. It sure wasn't the result of any sort of clever plan on my part. I only went because I didn't have anything else to do,so I figured I would amuse myself by screwing with them.

[Applewood]

@sneakypete

Quite a story.  Thank you for sharing.  Glad it worked out for you, but I would say it wasn't just luck, but moreso your determination.  The BS with the VA and other agencies can really wear a person down. You pressed on and got the right result. 

Oh, and by the way, thank you for your service.